


January of 2011

by alcrevier



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, F/F, Parental Death, Past Drug Addiction, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:41:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 128,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcrevier/pseuds/alcrevier
Summary: [Following a three-chapter prologue] Five years after running away, Emily and Alison are happily together, living in the suburbs of New Jersey. Within minutes, their future is put on hold when old pieces of their past begin to surface with lies coming out one after another, and the two scramble to hold themselves together. [Canon events until 2x12 w/ canon storylines scattered throughout].





	1. [PRO.] Ch. 1

**Author's Note:**

> To kick off this new story, I just want to say that this is pretty different than Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories (but I know not everyone has read that in the first place). It’s pretty angsty, emotional, fluffy, domestic, comforting, etc., whereas TM&HS was severely focused on character development within Alison (for the most part). In this fic, quite a few characters will go through their own issues, and they’ll share their stories. 
> 
> I want to remind everyone that I’ve put a few trigger warnings on this story: wound/blood mention(s), parental death, PTSD, weapon-involved violence, depression, & former drug addiction. With that being said, I’ll never (in any of my stories) go too far because I, myself, have gone through harsh situations, and I don’t want anyone to feel targeted. So, now that I’ve tossed around the shaky aspects of this story, I’ll also say that it’ll be pretty enjoyable if you love the Emison dynamic ━ especially in a domesticated sense.
> 
> This (pretty short) chapter marks the start of a three-part prologue following the Emison barn scene in 2x12; What would have happened if Emily agreed to run away with Alison? — After Ch 3, we’ll dive into the main fic. Pay attention to this chapter’s details because, I assure you, it’ll be mentioned quite a bit.
> 
> Without further ado, happy reading!

JANUARY, 2011 ━ DAY #1:

Emily can hear a few leaves crunching underneath her feet or, well, she supposes that’s where the noise is coming from. In reality, she can’t feel anything aside from a tingling in her fingertips and a pressure gripping her wrist, pulling her forward. She faintly feels warmth on her hip, but nothing too noticeable. Her legs… do they even exist right now? Is this a dream?  _ Death _ ? Her eyes droop and flicker; she can’t focus even if she tried. The scent of freshly puffed gasoline fills her nostrils as she coughs once but, as she suddenly feels a soft surface against her back and underneath her thighs, the world (or fantasy, maybe) fades out with a loud slam. 

_ “It’s okay. You’re with me now.” _

The brunette’s eyes shift underneath her eyelids, a small stinging sensation present.

_ “You can stay here or you can come with me.” _

She begins to cough hard and ends up waking herself. Looking down, she grimaces at her outfit: that pastel dress, covered in dirt and dust as part of the bottom is torn. A loud door shutting in the distance is what breaks her out of her trance, though her brown eyes still don’t want to focus on much of anything. On instinct, Emily’s fingers drag across fabric which makes her twitch when she remembers last feeling the rough texture of gravel and hardened dirt underneath her palms. She looks around and panic sinks in when she realizes that she’s sitting in the passenger’s seat of a random, beat-up car, stationed just in front of an old motel in the middle of absolutely nowhere — or so it seems. Right as she frantically attempts to unlatch the door to escape, it swings open on its own, revealing none other than Alison DiLaurentis — the girl that she’s been trying to forget for an entire year; the girl that’s supposed to be  _ dead _ . 

“Alison?” is all she can manage, and the blonde girl looks around the lot carefully before pulling Emily out of the car maybe a bit too forcefully. 

“Come on,” Alison half-heartedly hisses as she drags Emily towards one of the gross-looking motel wings.

The brunette’s feet shuffle along the dirt since they’re practically still numb, and Alison looks down towards the ground a few times while they walk, noting the other girl’s lack of movement. It isn’t long before they reach the rickety, extended front porch of one of the motel’s wings, and Emily grunts when she steps onto the platform with a pained grimace. Alison turns around when they reach their room’s door, her eyes scanning the dirt lot (which only contains her old, black car). She swallows hard and her eyes meet Emily’s for a split second, only to forcefully interrupt the eye contact by clearing her throat and spinning around to unlock the door. 

When the white-washed, wooden barrier swings open with a loud creaking noise, a musky smell flows from the floral-decorated room before they step inside. Emily, however, takes an extra second or so to enter the room (much to Alison’s displeasure), and timidly shuts the door behind her. She turns around to see her “dead” best friend staring back at her with an unreadable expression. They have a silent standoff for a  _ very  _ long minute (or maybe even five minutes), Emily standing next to the door and Alison near the bed. There’s a good five feet between them, though it seems like miles — that is… until the brunette clears the gap and launches herself at the other girl, wrapping her into a warm “I missed you so much” kind of hug. At first, the other girl doesn’t return the sentiment; she stands there, arms limp and eyes wide in shock. Eventually, though, she returns the gesture and wraps her arms around Emily, partially burying her face into the other girl’s neck as her eyes water.

“It’s really you,” Emily chokes out and Alison bites her lower lip —  _ hard _ .

“Yeah,” the reply is short and sounds more like a strangled (and pained) whisper.

The warmth doesn’t last long. In fact, it feels like it’s gone faster than it even came, especially when Emily abruptly untangles herself from Alison and takes two huge steps backwards with her mouth agape. The brunette shakes her head slightly in disbelief, her eyes flashing back and forth between Alison and the floor. Before she can find any words, however, the other girl takes one step forward with extended hands and an apologetic expression, resulting in Emily taking another step back — even if she doesn’t particularly  _ want  _ to. 

“Let me explain, Em,” Alison tries.

“You let me believe that you were really dead,” Emily’s eyes water with anger.

“Please don’t be mad.”

“You chose this,” comes the quick and quiet accusation.

“I want to explain.”

“I thought you were dead,” the brunette’s voice raises a fraction, and it makes both of them flinch.

“But I’m not,” Alison looks hurt. “Aren’t you glad that I’m not?”

Emily breathes out with a mixture of anger and confusion. She fiddles with her hands slightly before she starts to wring them and rub her palms together as she maneuvers around the other girl and enters the small, mold-adorned bathroom in the corner of the motel room. Alison takes a deep breath and tilts her head backwards, closing her eyes as she wishes that the floor or ceiling would just consume her. She hears a metal squeaking sound coming from the bathroom before a few splashes of water can be heard. As the water continues to flow, the blonde huffs as she whips the dusty curtains shut before turning on the lone bedside lamp which, to no surprise, flickers and buzzes a few times until it stays on. The mattress makes a weird crunching noise when she sits down on the stiff, floral-printed blanket, and, truthfully, she doesn’t even want to know when this motel had its last visitor. 

“Why are we here, Alison?” 

The girl looks up when she hears Emily use her full first name. She’s never done it often, and usually it comes when she’s pretty damn unhappy — which, judging from the look on the brunette’s face, is the exact reason why she didn’t use “Ali” just now. 

“Where are we, anyways?” she continues. 

“Um, I don’t know,” Alison shrugs as if the location isn’t important. “About fifty minutes out of Rosewood, and about forty from my place. I didn’t want to drive all the way back tonight.”

“But why am  _ I  _ here?” Emily asks, and they’re both surprised by how straightforward she’s being — it’s making Alison feel… small, to be frank. 

“I couldn’t just leave you there, Em,” Alison gets off the bed and speaks with her hands. “You nearly died today.”

“You asked me to come,” she half-asks, half-remembers aloud, looking towards the floor. “Did I answer you?” Emily’s eyebrows furrow as she speaks in a smaller voice, clearly confused about the entire encounter. 

“Mumbled, more like,” Alison sighs and sits back down onto the mattress.

She massages her temples and mutters a few things to herself that Emily doesn’t catch. Within seconds, the brunette’s arms go limp by her sides and she sits down next to the other girl, keeping a bunch of distance in between them — and very intentionally, at that. She plays with part of her dress, a disgusted look covering her features when she begins to brush off some of the dirt. 

“You don’t remember anything?” the blonde girl speaks up while she looks away. 

“I…” Emily’s voice trails off, “I remember thinking I was dying, and you looked so… angel-like. I didn’t think it was real.” 

Alison bows her head and plays with her own hands.

“You kept asking me if I know who A is, and something about dying,” Alison confesses.

“I remember you telling me that you know who A is,” Emily says suddenly and her gaze burns into the other girl’s temple.

Alison breathes out a sad laugh, “Em, you were so…  _ gone  _ when I pulled you out of there. We didn’t have time to hold a long conversation. You kept mumbling but I couldn’t make out what you were saying.”

The other girl rubs at her eyes and groans, laughing darkly when she realizes that their conversation was barely even real. 

“Where were the others?” Alison questions.

“At the wedding for Hanna’s dad, I think,” Emily shakes her head, still upset with herself.

Both girls sit in silence aside from a small humming noise coming from an outside generator. Their eyes scan the room simultaneously, noting the hideous, peeling wallpaper, compact TV, broken dresser, and stained carpet. Alison swallows heavily and Emily takes a deep breath, still picking at her slightly tattered dress. 

“I have some spare clothes in the car, if you want,” Alison offers without looking into the other girl’s eyes. 

Emily nods gently without speaking. Once the blonde pushes herself off of the bed, Emily does the same, but is stopped in her tracks quickly. 

“Stay,” Alison commands and Emily sits automatically.

Alison, not meaning to be so harsh, emotionally kicks herself for the instruction; she doesn’t want to be the same old Alison DiLaurentis (the one who was titled “Queen Bee”), but maybe it’s just a habit and maybe the trait will always be there. Emily, on the other hand, shifts her jaw as she looks downwards, rolling her eyes at herself as she hears the door latch followed by a few creaking steps along the front porch. Not trusting this sketchy lot worth a damn, she moves over to the curtains and peers outside, her eyes never leaving the other girl — secretly making sure that Alison doesn’t run away again. 

Two minutes pass before the door is opening to reveal that same broken-looking blonde. Emily paces back and forth at the foot of the bed, biting her thumbnail when Alison re-enters with an armful of clothes and a few bags. 

“Here. I’m sorry if it’s not your style,” she tries to joke but her voice shakes. “I didn’t have anything else.”

“Thank you,” Emily nods while taking the tank top, pull-over hoodie, and sweatpants. 

She walks into the bathroom and flicks the overhead light on, illuminating the tiled bathroom with a blue-ish tint. The mirror is cracked in one corner and the rest is covered in dried cleaner and whatever else. When she looks down as the dress falls to the floor, her hands noticeably shake and she needs to hold onto the sink to steady herself. Taking a deep breath, Emily continues to change. It takes about five more minutes until she’s wearing the outfit that Alison had found for her (save the hoodie because she currently feels clammy), and she exits the bathroom after another minute or two of deep breathing. Walking out of the small space, there’s no trace of Alison anywhere, and panic sets in quickly. As she’s running towards the front door, however, it swings open and the other girl crosses the threshold, a worried look covering her features when she catches sight of Emily’s frantic demeanor. 

“Why do you keep leaving me?” the brunette breaks down suddenly and Alison doesn’t know what to do.

“I needed some air, Emily,” her voice is hard, but she moves over to the other girl and guides her over to the mattress.

When Emily sits down, she has to blink a few times in order to refocus. Alison, noticing this, kneels down on the carpet in front of the other girl and waits to speak again.

“You need to eat something,” she purses her lips. 

“I need to know why you left,” Emily shakes her head.

“It’s complicated,” Alison breathes out while bowing her head.

“That’s not a good enough answer,” Emily narrows her eyes. “You said you wanted to explain.”

“Well I don’t know how, okay?” the other girl snaps and immediately huffs afterwards. “It’s not easy.”

“It’s not easy for me either,” the brunette’s voice is small and timid.

Emily’s tone hurts Alison deeply, though she doesn’t show it; it pains the blonde to know that this girl still seems so affected by things — especially things that have happened between them. Alison’s changed within the last year, no doubt, but Emily doesn’t know that, and vice versa. Alison can actually tell that Emily’s grown a slight backbone, especially since she was practically shoved “out of the closet” months ago — or so Alison observed from afar.

“If you eat something, I’ll try my best to answer your questions,” Alison finally tries to strike up a deal with Emily who seems cautious but ends up nodding in response.

“Ali, I have to tell the others where I am,” Emily bites her bottom lip. “And my parents…” her mouth opens and closes in regret.

“If you do, A will find us both,” Alison warns. “It’s too dangerous,” she shakes her head and gets up so she can cross the room and find the bag of food. 

Emily’s eyes widen as she gets up and begins to pace again.

“So I’m just supposed to disappear like you did? No call, no text, no—”

The other girl turns around sharply and comes face to face with the frantic girl who’s beginning to ramble. 

“You’re not  _ supposed  _ to do anything, Emily. I’m not forcing you,” Alison tilts her head with narrowed eyes. 

Emily’s chest rises and falls heavily as she stares at Alison, both girls having softer demeanors after a few beats of silence and eye contact. She bites her inner cheek and finally looks down, shifting on her feet a bit as Alison continues to look at her. 

“You can go back to Rosewood tomorrow, or you can come with me to New York,” Alison finally speaks again, her voice sounding more vulnerable than Emily’s ever heard before. 

“If you go back to Rosewood, I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” she continues and the brunette squeezes her eyes shut, “but, if you come with me to New York, we have to stay under the radar. No texting the others, no calling your parents, nothing. It's not safe.”

Emily takes a deep breath and a few tears fall immediately. Alison watches on as the other girl seemingly has a huge, violent, internal battle while she tries to figure out what decision to make. Alison feels guilty, well… more than guilty — there isn’t a word to describe what she feels, but it’s the truth, and she believes that it’s what Emily deserves right now.

“I’m not giving you the ultimatum out of selfishness, Emily,” Alison tries. “I—”

“I know,” she looks downwards.

“You have until tomorrow to decide. We can stay here until then.”

“I don’t need until tomorrow,” Emily shakes her head and a few more tears fall before she looks up towards Alison again.

The blonde looks at the other girl expectantly, her heart beating heavily as she waits for the answer. She feels her throat tightening second by second, and it takes every ounce of her strength to keep herself from breaking down, especially because she knows that she can’t take back how much she’s hurt Emily in the past, and that’s likely going to sway her decision. Her thoughts race, and it feels like hours pass before Emily finally takes one last deep breath and speaks again.

“I’m coming with you.”


	2. [PRO.] Ch. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the positive feedback! It means so much to me. I really hope that everyone enjoys the main part of the fic (beginning with Ch 4), but, until then, I have another two chapters of young and on-the-run Emison for you (including this one), so enjoy it (as much as you can).

JANUARY, 2011 ━ DAY #2:

Emily follows close behind the other girl. They ascend an old, narrow staircase tucked inside a run-down, warehouse-looking building located within the outskirts of a crowded (and not very pretty) New York city. While they had been walking along the front sidewalk attached to the building, a few scruffy and dirty looking guys passed by the two girls, one even grunting while he slammed into Emily’s shoulder. Alison, at the time, looked backwards and tugged on Emily’s hand so she’d walk faster. 

The problem, at the time, was that Emily didn’t really want to be near Alison — she still doesn’t, if she’s being honest, but she had made the huge decision to run away with the other girl, and she doesn’t intend on going back on that choice. 

The day before, while Emily had eaten a few snacks that Alison threw together, the blonde girl explained why she left and  _ how  _ she left. She was as honest as she could possibly be, and she apologized when necessary (though Emily took the apologies with a grain of salt). During the metaphorical flashback involving Mona assisting Alison with getting away from Rosewood, Emily immediately sat up straight while stressing  _ “Don’t you think it’s a bit… un-Mona-like to help you after everything?” _ and Alison shot back  _ “What? It’s hard to believe that she’s a kinder person than me?”  _ and it took both of them by surprise; in what world would Alison stand up for Mona against  _ Emily _ , and why would she be dragging herself for her old better-than-you attitude? 

The story’s worst part (for the both of them) was when Alison explained her burial ━ done by her own  _ mother _ . The blonde girl shifted her jaw a few times and, when she finally realized that she couldn’t hold back her tears forever, she let go. When Alison began to cry (and hard, at that), Emily instinctively reached across the mattress and grabbed for the other girl’s hand. At the contact, Alison jumped slightly and the brunette drew her hand back with a shaky  _ “I’m sorry,”  _ causing Alison to clasp their hands together on her own with a quick  _ “No, it’s not your fault.” _

Night time and a shitty-as-fuck (not to mention a _ gross _ -as-fuck) mattress didn’t make for the best sleepover. In fact, they didn’t end up sleeping much at all. The two spent countless hours discussing what’s happened over the course of the last year, from Emily’s “falling out” experience, to her A-infused hospital visit, all the way to her already-mounting list of ex-girlfriends. Once Emily mentioned Paige, Alison’s body language stiffened and she looked around the room while the brunette’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but she didn’t dare ask what’s wrong. 

_ “We should sleep. It’s three-thirty in the morning and you were practically jelly before,” _ Alison abruptly stood up from the mattress and walked over towards the window, making sure the curtains were completely closed. 

_ “I won’t be able to sleep, but you can,” _ Emily offered quietly and a bit shyly. 

_ “Emily, don’t do this. Just try to sleep,”  _ the other girl stressed as she turned to face Emily before adding a quick, _ “please.”  _

Long story short, the brunette eventually laid over the blanket, hoping that it was less disgusting than everything else in the room. Alison followed suit and laid in the middle of the mattress due to a stain that she had seen on her side of the bed. She made sure to face the other direction since her body was basically pressed up against the other girl’s, however ended up turning around after about thirty minutes of silence. Emily laid still as she focused on the same wall for the entire night, pretending to be asleep though she was really paying attention to the way the blankets shifted when Alison seemed to become ten times more restless than initially. 

The two packed up around noon the next day. Before they left, Emily sat on the edge of the mattress and began playing with her fingers, to which Alison sighed out a quiet  _ “Second thoughts? Em, you don’t need to come with me, but I told you—” _ and the other girl took a deep breath with a tear making its way down her face.

_ “I’ll be fine,” _ Emily settled on saying, though it didn’t sound convincing whatsoever. 

_ “Are you sure?” _

_ “Yeah, let’s just…” _ her voice trailed off as she walked towards the door, but Alison stopped her before she could open it. 

_ “Before we go,”  _ she swallowed hard and looked down, _ “I want you to know that you always have a choice in things, Emily. I’m not the same girl from before, and I don’t want to force you into anything. I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” _ she finished quietly. 

_ “I know,” _ is the short answer, and neither girl knows what she meant, exactly, but it’s all she could muster up at the time. 

_ “Also, you should choose a new name to live by,” _ Alison said with regret laced into her tone.  _ “A could be anywhere.” _

_ “What’s your name?”  _ Emily asked with a low key disgusted expression.

Alison, in response, walked over to one of the few bags and rummaged through the contents, eventually pulling out a black wig and sunglasses. As she put the disguise on, Emily looked away, thoroughly despising the new look — honestly, right as she pulled the wig on, Emily immediately began to miss the blonde girl that she used to know, even if she wasn’t the sweetest or most gentle. She stood there, arms crossed and expression rough, as Alison pulled out a fake ID and handed it to her with a soft  _ “Here.” _

_ “Vivian Darkbloom?” _ Emily breathed out a bitter laugh.  _ “Interesting choice.” _

Alison rolled her eyes at the other girl, snatched the ID back, and shoved it into her bag. She kept the dark wig on as she picked up the multiple bags one by one. Emily shook her head as she watched on, clearly annoyed by every new piece of information that’s graced her ears (and eyes) in the most recent hours.

_ “You don’t look good with black hair, by the way,”  _ Emily blurted out as she stormed through the doorway, making her way to Alison’s beat up car. 

Personally, she had no idea where the sudden harshness came from, but she didn’t really care at the moment. Everything was finally catching up to her, and it was beginning to hurt. Truthfully, she could have told Alison to drive her back to Rosewood right then and there but, as the blonde (black-wigged) girl slid into the driver’s seat with tear-stained cheeks and a damaged expression, Emily immediately felt guilty.

_ “Ali, I’m—”  _

_ “It’s Vivian, to you,” _ Alison shot back, clearly upset with gritted teeth.

Emily rested her head against the back of the seat, a few tears of her own springing into her eyes as she inhaled. The other girl watched her out of the corner of her eye, feeling a fresh wave of guilt bubbling in her own chest. 

_ “Last chance, Emily. Are you with me or not?” _

_ “I’m not letting you leave me again,”  _ the other girl shook her head in exhaustion.  _ “Just drive.” _

So, that’s what lead them to where they currently stand: in front of a dark brown door that, presumably, divides Alison’s living space and the building’s short hallway. Emily doesn’t even know what kind of building this is or used to be. No one else seems to live within the walls, and it almost looks like a weird firehouse garage, but her living space appears to be on the second floor. The hallway walls’ white paint is cracked in multiple areas, and some spots are covered in dust and/or stains. The floor is rickety and makes a variety of noises depending on where you step, causing the floorboards to sound hollow. 

Alison finally pushes the door open to reveal the space, to which Emily scans the area and looks at the lack of decor — or, really, lack of  _ anything _ . In one corner of the room, there’s a mattress on a box spring, covered with a white comforter, a black fitted sheet, and white pillows. On one side of the bed is a small stool which likely acts as an end table, topped by a picture of their group of five. Against the west wall is a dresser, likely there since there seem to be no closets in the “apartment” — or can it even be called an apartment? Alison’s “bedroom” is sectioned off by (what looks to be) a photography green-screen type curtain, dividing that piece of room from the “living room” (technically just an old TV and simple couch). Near the door is a small kitchen, structured with a white fridge, old stove, sink, and compact island nearby. When Emily walks further into the space, she spots a bathroom tucked away near the kitchen, pressed against the room’s east wall. The entire space is illuminated by the sunlight that streams through the plethora of north wall windows, causing a clusterfuck of dust to become visible along the floorboards and, really, in the air. 

“You don’t have your phone on you, right?” Alison checks with the other girl as she rips off the wig, fixing her blonde hair afterwards. “We can’t afford—”

“—having them find us, I know,” Emily finishes with a sigh. “I must have lost it yesterday.”

“We’ll get you a prepaid phone tomorrow, unless I head to the store after work tonight,” the other girl walks over to her makeshift bedroom, rummaging through the dresser in order to find her clothes. 

“Work?” Emily’s eyebrows furrow as she partly follows, however she stops suddenly when she sees Alison yanking her top over her head. 

Her brown eyes struggle to look away, and they flicker between the floor and the blonde’s skin. It’s difficult, however, especially when Alison is talking to her while she’s only wearing a black bra and sweatpants. 

“Um, yeah,” the other girl is timid and a bit ashamed, “I double as a waitress and a bartender at this place down the street.”

“I thought you said that Noel has been giving you money because he owes you.”

“Well, yeah, but that money only gets me so far, Em.”

Emily’s eyes remain flickering between Alison and anywhere other than the topless blonde. Suddenly, she notices a variety of black and blue bruises strewn along Alison’s collarbone area and stomach. When she crosses her arms in an uncomfortable manner, the other girl looks down and covers herself partially with the shirt she’s holding, suddenly feeling really embarrassed and a bit…  _ scared _ .

“Bartender?” the brunette questions after a second, looking away. 

“I get paid under the table since I’m technically underage,” Alison swallows hard. “Even Vivian,” she lets out a bitter chuckle. 

“Oh,” is the only word that follows. 

Emily isn’t happy, and curiosity about Alison’s bruises is quickly consuming her, but she can’t find the strength to question the other girl right now. Instead, she watches Alison turn around to finish getting changed and, when she’s done, the brunette’s anger begins to surface even more. The blonde girl’s outfit is a skimpy, deep red, partly-lace belly shirt with a pair of tight, black shorts, and that’s when Emily begins to realize that Alison doesn’t work at some classy pub — the prominent scent of smoke doesn’t exactly help the blonde’s case, either. 

“No,” Emily shakes her head and speaks quietly.

Alison’s timid expression is replaced with a steely one almost immediately. She stands up straighter and brushes past the other girl, not giving her a big chance to express her worries and anger. She fastens her black wig once again before making her way into the bathroom, spraying on some perfume, and fixing her hair (wig, Emily rolls her eyes when she sees it). 

“Alison,” the brunette tries again when she steps in front of the other girl, blocking her path so she can’t run out. 

“What, Emily?” the reply is sharp. “I’ll be back around eleven tonight.”

“Those bruises,” Emily gestures towards Alison’s torso and the other girl slaps her hand away.

Both of them stand there, mutually angry but neither backing down from the impending argument. Alison avoids Emily’s eyes, especially because she can practically feel the rejection that causes her to flash back to that unfortunate day in the locker room over a year ago. She crosses her arms in defense as the other girl slouches as she stands.

“They’re from work, aren’t they?” she continues. 

“It’s not a big deal. Some of the men get a little handsy,” Alison shifts her jaw and tilts her face upwards for a split second.

“That  _ is  _ a big deal, Ali,” Emily’s voice is softer than before. “Look, we can find you a new job. We can—”

“No, Emily, we  _ can’t _ , okay? This is what I do to survive. It’s what’s kept me alive, and I’m not quitting just because  _ you  _ can’t handle it,” Alison snaps, and Emily takes a step backwards. 

“You’re still as heartless as you were before you ran away, aren’t you?” Emily’s head is bowed but her eyes focus on the other girl’s face. 

It takes Alison by surprise, if she’s being honest, but her poker face doesn’t show any change in emotion. Instead, she breathes out a dark laugh and looks around as she bites her inner cheek.

“You’re the one who agreed to come with me, Emily.” 

“Because you asked me!” the girl’s voice shows signs of disbelief and hurt, which is an evident emotion when her head shoots up and she faces Alison.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have!” Alison raises her voice and her nostrils flare after the words spill from her mouth.

It’s in that very moment that the blonde girl feels more regret than she ever had before. The words tumbled out before she could even think, and she can’t even call it a defense mechanism anymore; truly, she didn’t even mean those damn words. In fact, she’s constantly wishing that she had brought Emily away with her when she first left over a year ago. There have been countless nights where she’s gotten home from work while feeling disgusting, only to wish that Emily could hold her — and it’s been a strange feeling, especially when she spent years trying to convince herself that the other girl was no more than an experiment. More recently, she’s cursed at herself for pulling the crap that she did; she hates how she treated  _ all  _ of the girls before she left, and she promised herself that she’d fix things if she ever found the chance —  _ especially  _ with the girl standing in front of her. A lot of good that promise is doing at the moment, right? 

“Fine then,” Emily’s voice is dry and exhausted. “I can fend for myself.”

With that, she backs up, opens the door, and slams it shut. For a split second, Alison debates on following the other girl and, really, she  _ wants  _ to, but her feet won’t move for whatever reason. Instead, she stands there, arms limp at her sides with shaking hands as she stares at the door with blurry vision. She waits ten minutes as she stands in the same spot, hoping that the other girl will walk back into the living space and promise that she won’t leave, but Alison knows that it’s not fair for her to hope for such things considering she’s the one who left for an entire year.

What Alison doesn’t know, however, is that Emily lingers at the end of the floor’s hallway, wishing that she’d hear the blonde begging her to come back inside and, perhaps, say that she’ll quit working at that dump but, similar to Alison’s thoughts, she knows it’s not likely to happen, so the brunette finally wipes at her eyes with a sniffle, and, eventually, descends the staircase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first… I think this clusterfuck of a chapter marks a point in time that really kick-starts what they’re going to go through together. Because of the character development on Emily’s part (as we saw on-screen from the beginning of season one and so forth)... it’s bound to get messy once it’s mixed with Alison’s development. I mean, if you think about it, this girl likely went through such harsh changes during her time away. Now that she’s exposed to someone who once saw her former, rough self (and soft side, just the same), it’s likely messing with her head, so I believe that this was a long time coming. ━ As for Alison, I don’t think she saw Emily actually leaving. Maybe even Emily didn’t see herself walking out, but she did.
> 
> On the other hand, who actually saw this coming? I’d raise my hand if I could, but I’m the one who wrote it so I’m not sure if it’d be valid anyway.
> 
> So, obviously (given this story’s summary), they’ll find one another again, but just a warning: it’s rough and pretty damn sad (like, honestly, my revisor wanted to smack me for it). Brace yourselves. With that being said, I just want to reassure everyone that I’d never lure you to an Emison fic, just to kill one of the girls off. Trust me, Emison is endgame, but it’ll take a bit of work to get there.
> 
> Once they’re together again, we’ll dive into the main part of the story and the real fun begins, *insert maniacal laughter here.* ━ I mean, come on… I can’t be the only one who suffers from severe feels, right?
> 
> As always, send me stuff. Comments, messages, hate, love, questions, etc. ━ Otherwise, I’ll see you on Sunday.


	3. [PRO.] Ch. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are: the third and final prologue chapter.
> 
> I don't exactly know what to say to introduce this installment, but I'll definitely meet you at the bottom ━ and please don't come at me with your pitchforks and torches because, remember, the story isn't over.

JANUARY, 2011 ━ DAY #4:

Two days have passed; two anxiety-filled, back-and-forth pacing days have passed since Emily slammed that door shut and never came back. The first day (when the brunette had actually walked out) wasn’t that bad — alright, that’s a lie, but those were definitely the calmest hours. 

Rather quickly, Alison gathered herself after half an hour of being rendered motionless by the other girl who had walked out.  _ “She’ll come back,” _ her first thought swirled.  _ “I mean… she has nowhere else to go, right?” _ the second came. So, due to her “positive” thoughts, Alison (or  _ Vivian _ ) gathered whatever she needed for work, and she made her way over to the smoky pub nearby. Her shift went by immensely slow, and, at one point, she thought she saw that same brunette peering through one of the frosted windows, but the figure was gone faster than it appeared, so she shook it off. After that, Alison found herself looking towards that window repeatedly, sighing when she finally realized what she was doing. Around seven o’clock, she used her break-time to wander outside of the pub, making sure to linger in the shadows for safety purposes — ironic, right? The girl looked around spontaneously, secretly hoping that she would see Emily somewhere —  _ anywhere  _ — but she never did, and it  _ hurt _ . 

The final few hours of her shift went by at snail’s speed. Grown men jabbed at her while they fed her “compliments,” and trophy wives commented on how Alison reminded them of themselves during their teenage years. A few times, the girl had to refrain from impaling a customer or two with her serving tray, but she kept a straight face and tried to appear as happy as she could, even if a certain someone was branded into her mind. Finally, once she was given the O.K. to head home, she ran out as fast as she could, grabbing what’s left of her dignity and treading the sidewalk with a quick pace, slightly hoping that she would walk into her living space to see the other girl standing there with open arms. 

Those hopes died when she opened the door to see a dark, dusty room, remaining just how she had left it hours prior. Immediately, she changed her clothes as if they stung her skin, and sobbed while doing so. At first, the cries were angry and unforgiving — but towards whom in particular? Herself? Emily? She had no idea, which is why those hysterics turned into empty, heartbroken gasps and a full-on breakdown. Curling up on her mattress, Alison cried into early hours of the morning, nearly getting sick a time or two, yet having nothing in her stomach to throw up. All she could think about was that Emily is somewhere, alone, and probably in some kind of danger.  _ “What if something happens to her because of me?” _ she gritted her teeth together and clenched her fists around the lone comforter of her bedspread. 

Eventually, she fell asleep, only to wake up around noon the next day. When she rolled out of bed ( _ literally _ rolling since her eyes wouldn’t stay the fuck open), she made a piece of toast that she couldn’t even eat, and forced a few sips of water down with two capsules of Tylenol for the thumping headache she had acquired sometime around four in the morning. It didn’t take long for her thoughts to consume her again and, when they did, they bit at her repeatedly — and  _ viciously _ . 

_ “She’s probably dead somewhere,” _ one suddenly screamed, and Alison dropped the water bottle onto the kitchen island. 

With that, she grabbed herself a hoodie, that dreaded wig, sunglasses, and ran out the door. She spent hours searching the streets and nearby small businesses in order to find the other girl that she had dragged into this mess. Surprisingly (at least to Alison, herself), she even asked a few convenience store clerks if they had seen Emily while hastily pulling out her pre-paid phone and showing them a single photo of the brunette. No avail, however, and Alison began stressing out more and more by the minute. _ “She couldn’t have gotten that far overnight,”  _ she thought at the time ━ until she ended up in front of a bus stop. Though the girl wasn’t sure if Emily even had money to take a bus ride, the brunette could have snuck onto the vehicle or someone could have generously paid for her. 

Around 4:00 P.M., she went home, clearly discouraged with a heavy heart. It was nearly time to work, and, really, she wasn’t sure if she could get through an entire shift without breaking down. She was tired, to say the least, and she just wanted to look for the brunette and, eventually, sleep. Unfortunately, however, she put on that despicable outfit, looked at herself in the mirror while trying to raise her nose towards the reflection, and left for the pub. When she got there, the smoky scent filled her nostrils and her eyes immediately began to water both due to the aroma and the situation at hand. Like always, Alison tried to put on her biggest smile, though it faded when she saw that same figure in the window once again and, this time, she ran out of the pub to catch the other girl. Much to her dismay, no one was there, and she pushed the bottom of her palms into her eyelids, stressing out because she’s either seeing things or someone is playing tricks on her — someone or  _ Emily _ . As she knelt on the sidewalk outside of the pub, one of the bartenders stepped through the doorway and pulled her back into the establishment by an arm, dragging her into the back room to ask what’s wrong. 

_ “Go home, Vivian,” _ the scruffy man spoke heavily, rubbing at his own forehead.

_ “No, I’m fine, I—” _

_ “I’m not asking,”  _ he stressed.  _ “Come back when you’re feeling okay.” _

Reluctantly (though internally thankful), she went home, dragging her feet along the pavement as she breathed out a bitter laugh; Emily basically left because Alison wouldn’t quit her job, yet Alison can’t work because Emily is engraved into her damn mind — or heart, whatever, Alison thought.  _ “No, she left because you won’t fucking listen,”  _ the blonde’s thoughts began again. 

Currently, Alison stands in the kitchen, biting her nail as she constantly shifts back and forth on her feet. She looks like roadkill, to be quite honest, with her hair messy and eyes sunken in due to lack of sleep. She’s barely eaten in recent days, and, really, she hasn’t been hungry to begin with; the only things she’s consumed include a few bites of toast, a granola bar, water, and Tylenol. It’s 5:06 P.M. and she hasn’t seen or heard from Emily yet, though she desperately wants to. Earlier, Alison had even gone out, once again, looking for the other girl, though she obviously didn’t find her. It’s scaring the fuck out of her, if you asked, and she can’t think straight. The blonde’s thoughts keep reminding her that it’s her fault and, if something really  _ has  _ happened to Emily…  _ fuck _ . 

Her eyes start to water again, and she bows her head against the kitchen island’s countertop, wincing because of the massive, constant headache. With a deep breath, she gets up and wanders over to the door, glancing at the dark wig once before shaking her head and walking out of the room. As Alison closes the door behind her, she begins to internally panic since she hasn’t been out without her disguise in quite some time, but she forces herself down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. With newfound determination, she tells herself that she  _ needs  _ to find the other girl, and she needs to apologize when she does. 

The sidewalk seems rougher than usual, and it’s beginning to rain while the sky mows over with a dark-grey tint and ominous-looking clouds. A few rumbles of thunder can be heard in the distance, and her hair is already getting damp from the forthcoming rain.  _ “Great plan,” _ she curses at herself but continues moving forward, keeping an eye out and looking into a few alleyways just in case. The roads aren’t crowded ━ actually, they’re almost empty ━ and very few people walk alongside them. The only sounds that can be heard are electricity generators, raindrops, and the clanking of metal every now and then. As she walks down a separate sidewalk a couple of blocks away from her “apartment,” she feels as though someone is following her. First, Alison brushes it off, reminding herself that it’s likely paranoia, but then it gets the best of her and she pulls out her pre-paid phone. 

“Hey, you,” she speaks into the phone, though no one is on the other line. 

“Yeah, I’m heading back now,” the blonde continues to pretend, taking a sharp turn into a slightly-illuminated alleyway and stepping through a few puddles on her way into the narrow, brick hallway. 

Unfortunately, the back of the alleyway is blocked off with boxes upon boxes, and her lips part slightly at the sight. She turns around quickly, though she slams flat into someone’s chest and falls backwards. It takes her a moment to look up at the figure, but, when she does, she wishes that she hadn’t even left her safe house in the first place because looking down at her is a six-foot-two man with a big-boned structure and a hood covering his features. Alison’s breathing halts as she stares at the other person, hoping he’ll just walk away, but, instead, he pulls his hood off and smiles. 

“Here, I’m sorry,” he extends his hand to pull her up.

She bites the inside of her cheek and looks at the ground surrounding her but, eventually, takes the offer and stands up as she brushes off her backside and hands. A few bits of glass are stuck in her palms, creating little cuts along the skin — nothing serious, however. 

“Are you okay?” the man wonders as he smiles again but, this time, it’s creepy, and Alison’s stomach flips — and it’s  _ nowhere near  _ the good sense. 

“Um, yeah,” she tries to smile back, “but I lost my phone.”

She looks around the pavement in order to find the device, though she can’t see much since the sun is completely hidden by both the buildings and clouds. As the blonde continues to look around, the man circles her slightly, picking the stray phone up off of a nearby wooden pallet and pressing a few buttons. When the girl finally turns around, she sees the tall man with her phone and her expression morphs into that of complete fear and a bit of anger.

“Can I have my phone?” Alison chokes out, but her throat feels like it’s completely shut.

“I mean… maybe,” he shrugs with that same smile. “Probably not, though.”

“Look, I’m supposed to be meeting someone.”

“Oh, really? That sucks,” the man begins to walk away, phone in hand. 

Just when Alison thinks he’s going to take the device and leave (and, honestly, she’d be fine being phone-less because it’s just not worth it), the man swiftly takes Alison in his arms and throws her against one of the brick walls, knife in hand, as her head hits the rough exterior of a building. She tries to yell but he muffles the sound with one of his forearms as the other searches her body for whatever else he can take. As he continues, she partially gives up struggling, praying that he’ll find nothing and run off, but, when he squeezes her hip, a new fight ignites inside of her and she tries to shove him off. It doesn’t help, sadly, and it just makes the mugger even more violent judging by the way he rubs his forearm along her mouth with more force, ending with a fresh stab wound to her inner thigh. 

He backs up afterwards, mumbling, “Thanks for the phone,” before spitting next to her and pulling his hood back over his features. The man exits the alleyway quickly while Alison slides down against the brick wall, tears trailing down her cheeks as she looks up towards the top of the other building. She holds her leg as much as she can, though her hands shake while feeling like they have their own heartbeat. Within seconds, Alison feels an inevitable sticky and warm sensation covering her thigh and seeping through her sweatpants, frantically trying to get off of the ground but failing time and time again. She scratches at her head, frustrated with the predicament that she’s gotten herself into, before a few more tears fall. Leaning her head back and closing her eyes, she inhales deeply and then releases the breath, though it comes out more like a loud, shaky whine.

“Oh my God,” a familiar voice comes from nearby followed by quick, muddy footsteps. 

When Alison opens her eyes, Emily’s features come into view, though still partly fuzzy since she’s dizzy as all hell right now. The brunette goes to reach for Alison’s leg but hesitates, not wanting to disturb the wound while they’re in the rain. She looks around sporadically, biting her inner cheek when she can’t find anything or anyone that’ll help. 

“We need to get help, Alison,” Emily hisses as she looks down at the other girl’s leg. 

“Shh,” Alison shushes at the name, then groans as she hangs her head.

“I don’t care right now, okay?” the brunette shakes her head with anger. “We need to get you some help. Give me your phone.”

“No,” the blonde shakes her head.

“Ali—”

“ _ No _ , I don’t  _ have  _ it,” Alison’s body shakes.

“Okay, um,” Emily panics, “I think I saw a payphone when I was passing by. I’ll be right back.”

“No,” the other girl stresses as she pulls Emily back to her previous position, “we don’t have the kind of money for help, and they’ll ask where my parents are. We  _ can’t _ .”

“I’m not going to let you bleed out,” the brunette refuses with an incredulous face. 

“I don’t think it’s that deep. I’ll be fine. Just…” Alison struggles to get up, but Emily makes sure to sturdy the other girl and help her as much as she needs. 

They walk a few steps before Alison winces in pain and breathes out a small sob, even though she’s trying to stay strong in every aspect. Emily notices that the other girl is trying to play the injury off like it’s not a big deal, but keeps her mouth shut for the time being. Instead, she keeps her arm wrapped around Alison’s back and helps the blonde walk. It doesn’t take long for Alison’s other leg to give out, and they both stumble along the sidewalk for a brief moment until Emily breathes out and picks up the other girl. The blonde grunts at first, keeping her eyes away from Emily’s because she’s afraid that she’ll break down completely. Meanwhile, the brunette quickly makes her way back towards Alison’s safe house ━ albeit the building isn’t all that far from the scene of the crime anyway. When they reach the stairs, Alison maneuvers her way out of the other girl’s arms as Emily protests, but the blonde simply grunts out a quick “I can do it myself.”

She can’t, however, and the pain makes her nearly fall face-first onto the old steps, though Emily catches her. While the brunette carries the other girl up the stairs, she doesn’t speak at all, not even to bitch about how stubborn Alison can be — she doesn’t  _ care  _ right now, and all she wants is for Alison to be okay. After four minutes, they reach the living space’s door, and Alison asks Emily to put her on the couch so she doesn’t bleed all over the bed. The other girl complies, obviously, before rummaging through both the kitchen and the bathroom cabinets in order to gather bath towels, water, food, paper towels, and medical bandages.

“Em, I’m—”

“Stop,” Emily cuts her off with an exhausted voice. “Nothing else matters right now.”

Alison’s eyes lower to her leg for a split second, looking away when she can see the pooling stain as another tear falls. She wipes it away frantically, hoping that the other girl didn’t see — but, really, she did. Emily kneels down in front of the blonde, glancing upwards with a timid expression written across her face as if she’s asking Alison to allow herself to be cared for. The other girl notices this and (timidly) lifts herself up so she can roll down the waistband of her sweatpants. Emily looks away and swallows hard as Alison tries her best to shimmy out of the clothing garment. When it sticks to the wound, however, the blonde bites her bottom lip and chokes out a sob, causing Emily to immediately close her hand around Alison’s wrist in order to stop her from moving any further.

“Let me help you,” it’s a small plea, and the blonde purses her lips, but she eventually forces herself to relax as much as she can. 

“It’s going to hurt a bit, but we have to get the fabric off or it’ll get infected,” Emily explains while Alison’s eyes drift down towards the garment that’s still bunched around her thighs. 

Alison nods after a moment, giving Emily the green-light to assist in taking off the clothing item. The brunette, in response, nods as well and reaches for the waistband, making sure to gently pull away from the wound as much as she can as she slides them downwards. Alison tries not to watch but her eyes can’t seem to focus on anything other than the pain, so she chews on her lower lip, thus resulting in another new wound when she bites down hard. As the fleece sweatpants lift off of the jagged cut more than ever before, a fresh sob pulls from Alison’s throat as she bites on her knuckle. Emily’s eyes focus on the task at hand, though she just wants to wrap the other girl in her arms. 

“I’m so sorry, Alison, I’m almost done,” the brunette’s eyes water at the sound of Alison crying, but she continues. 

Finally, the entire waistband passes the wound and Emily pulls the garment completely off of the other girl, tossing it into a bloody heap nearby. For the first time, they finally get a full look at the entire stab wound, both shuddering at the sight. It isn’t deep (much to their relief), but it’ll  _ definitely  _ scar, and it’ll hurt for a while — emotionally and physically. Emily looks at the cut, a few tears of her own falling as Alison’s breathing begins to even out. The bleeding hasn’t fully stopped yet, but it’s slowed down tremendously (judging by the stain’s size), which is a good sign.

“It needs to be cleaned,” Emily says as she reaches for the water and a paper towel.

“Yeah, I know, just give me the—”

“Alison.”

The blonde locks eyes with the other girl briefly, ending the silent conversation with a sigh as she bows her head. 

“Okay,” comes the submission. 

“This might sting a little,” Emily’s voice is quiet, and she adds a soft “I know” when Alison whimpers slightly.

She presses the wet paper towel near the wound, making sure not to touch the opening just in case the paper rips. Immediately, Alison’s body twitches suddenly, and her breathing quickens again as a few more tears roll down her cheeks. 

“I can’t,” she gets out, and Emily pulls back for a moment.

“It has to be done, Ali,” Emily’s mouth opens and closes a few times after she speaks, not wanting to put the other girl through this pain, though it’s inevitable.

“Not now, please,” Alison shakes her head and allows herself to cry this time; she allows herself to look completely vulnerable in the current moment — she doesn’t care. 

“Ali, I don’t want to put you through this, I promise, but it  _ has  _ to be done or it’ll hurt ten times more in a few hours,” Emily chews the inside of her cheek before moving her left hand onto the couch cushion near Alison.

“Here,” she continues as she turns her palm upwards, “we’ll do this  _ together _ .”

Emily’s heart beats faster because she’s learning that she needs to be straightforward if she’s ever going to get anywhere with her stubborn best friend, but also because of the impending rejection, just like she had felt over a year ago. Much to her surprise, however, Alison looks down at her hand and, without hesitation, grabs onto it, squeezing a bit while nodding her head. 

“Okay,” her response is barely audible, and she swallows hard afterwards, closing her blue eyes while Emily steadies her other hand with the paper towel clenched. 

“You can tell me to stop whenever you need to breathe, but it has to get done tonight.”

“Please, just…” Alison pleads again, a shaky breath being released afterwards.

With that, the brunette begins to clean the area surrounding the wound once again, changing paper towels every now and then while Alison squeezes her hand harder and cries periodically. It gets done, thankfully, and Emily wraps a firm layer of bandaging around the other girl’s thigh, making sure that it’s tight but not too tight. Alison watches on as Emily takes care of her so willingly, wanting to smile though the expression doesn’t reach her eyes ever — she still feels so… empty, and ninety-nine percent of it is her own fault. 

“Here,” Emily sits down next to Alison on the couch, handing her a bottle of water and a few cookies. “You need something in your stomach.”

“Did Rosewood start offering first-aid classes after I left?” the blonde sarcastically jokes as she takes a cookie. 

The corners of Emily’s mouth turn into a small smile, but it fades quickly as she looks around the room, hands in her lap as she’s lost in her own regretful thoughts. She wishes that she had never walked out and, if she had stayed, Alison wouldn’t have been involved in the terrible situation that transpired tonight. 

“You cut your hair,” Alison breaks Emily out of her thoughts, reaching for the shorter strands.

“Not a lot, but yeah. I figured I needed a new look of my own,” she chuckles partially. “It was a spur-the-moment decision.”

“It’s cute,” the blonde comments with a small smile, though she wishes that Emily never felt like she needs a disguise, even if she was the one who brought it up in the first place. 

“I have a new name, too,” Emily interrupts the shorter period of silence.

When Alison looks at her skeptically, she reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a fake ID, showing the other girl her new identity. 

“How’d you know where to get a fake ID?”

“I heard a few guys talking in front of a small store, then followed them. When I was caught sneaking around, one of them offered to hook me up with one because apparently I looked like I needed it,” she recalls.

The blonde reads the name and description as she nods, breathing out a small chuckle when she sees Emily’s picture: the brunette’s eyes are surrounded with a smoky-looking makeup, her hair is a mess, and she’s making a dopey-looking face. 

“Nice picture,  _ Embrey Fields _ ,” Alison teases.

“Mhm,” the other girl stuffs the card into her back pocket and slouches backwards.

“Can I still call you Emily?” Alison’s voice is tiny and, at first, the brunette thinks it’s another joke, but, when the other girl only side-eyes her, she understands that the girl is serious.

“Do I have to call you Vivian?” Emily pushes her luck, still stinging from a few days ago.

The blonde girl shrinks back partially, wanting to shift her body so she’s facing the other way, however can’t because of the pain she’s still in. Instead, she decides to address the elephant in the room because, if they don’t, they probably never will.

“Em, I don’t want to keep fighting with you. That’s not why I asked you to come with me.”

“I thought you said that you shouldn’t have asked me, anyway,” Emily lifts her eyes to lock them with Alison’s. 

Her tone isn’t accusatory or angry, but it’s full of hurt and rejection, and Alison’s eyebrows furrow a bit at the sound; she wants to take both her and Emily’s pain away, and she just wants to start over — they’re both so tired at this point. 

“If I could take back what I said the other day…” the blonde bites her inner cheek. “I can’t take it back, Em, but I wish I could.”

When she looks up, her eyes are watering again and Emily bows her own head. 

“Ali, I don’t want to have to leave again… or watch  _ you  _ leave again,” the other girl shifts her jaw. “I can’t…”

“I know,” Alison whispers.

“But I can’t be your punching bag anymore,” Emily looks at the girl sitting nearby. “We have to get on the same page, somehow.” 

“I’m sorry,” the blonde’s lip quivers and she sucks in a harsh breath before laughing shakily. “I’m just so sorry.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

Alison looks up, stunned by the sudden change in topic, but waiting for Emily to expand upon the request.

“Re-consider quitting that job.”

The other girl breathes out heavily and purses her lips, leaning back against the couch as she continues locking eyes with the brunette who fiddles with her own fingers. 

“I saw you waitressing in there,” Emily confesses after a few awkward seconds. “Honestly, I wanted to make sure you were okay, and I wanted to see what it was like…”

Alison chuckles, though she’s still crying. At the reaction, Emily frowns in confusion.

“I think I saw you. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, and then one of my bosses sent me home because he figured I was just going crazy,” she wipes at her eye with another laugh. 

“I wanted to come in and make a scene,” the other girl looks down, continuously playing with her fingers as she speaks. “I couldn’t, though. I didn’t want you any angrier and I figured you were happy enough to stay there.”

“I wasn’t very angry with you to begin with. I would have left too,” Alison looks away. 

“Ali—”

“No, really, Em. I don’t blame you.” 

“I waited at the end of the hallway after I left,” comes another confession to which Alison’s eyes snap towards Emily’s before they begin to water for what seems like the hundredth time tonight. 

“What?”

“I waited to see if you’d run after me. It was stupid…” Emily shakes her head as her voice trails off.

“I should have,” Alison puts her head in her hands as she groans. “We could have avoided all of this.” 

“Well, I’m here now, and we’re going to have to find a way to deal with each other,” Emily lightly jokes.

In response, Alison raises her head and looks at the other girl, her eyes struggling to focus through her blurred vision. Eventually, however, she looks down at the couch and reaches for Emily’s hand which rests in between them. Their fingers intertwine in a sense of security, and both girls smile as much as they can, an unspoken conversation floating around the room as the night rolls on. They obviously have some issues and personality rifts to work out between them, but, now, the two girls realize that they have to stick together — it’s the only way they’ll manage to survive, no matter how hard Alison tries to convince herself that she was fine beforehand, and Emily just the same. It’ll take time, but, just maybe, it’ll work out for the best. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, it's not that I particularly wanted to put Alison through something insanely painful, but I felt that they both needed a swift kick in the throat, and the on-screen flashback with Cyrus/Alison provided the perfect delivery. Because of this, they finally begin to understand that they need to stick by one another instead of acting like fire and ice (though that's one of my favorite aspects when it comes to their relationship).
> 
> I have to say… I hate choosing names and working with double identities when it comes to these girls. Unfortunately, I had to do it for this story, but I'm happy to say that "Fields" is a common-enough last name to keep. Emvian? Is that their new ship name? I am disgusted, but it's fine. Emison, the only identity combo that matters, is endgame.
> 
> I hope this chapter didn't disturb anyone too much. I wanted to somehow write as much intensity as I could without being too morbid ━ and, (partly) sorry to say, this isn't the last shaky chapter within this story. If you really want to read the story but there are things you cannot deal with, message me privately and we can talk about it. I care for you. I don't want to make this story sound like it's all pain and misery because it's definitely not (and, in fact, it's pretty damn fluffy), but I know that small things can trigger people (including myself), so I feel the need to mention it repeatedly.
> 
> Back to the story: So, this update marked the end of the prologue. The next chapter comes out on Wednesday, and I'll be updating every five days because, personally, I think that seven days is too long, but I don't want to finish the story too quickly. Wednesday's chapter is going to introduce the main story's background and plot, and shit will go down quicker than most would expect.
> 
> Again, thanks for the wonderful reviews and everything else. Your feedback is what keeps me excited to post every new chapter. I'll see you on Wednesday!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank ya'll for the reviews and comments (and overall positive feedback). I read every single comment and, honestly, I'm always smiling like an idiot. Feel free to share your favorite/least favorite parts with me as we progress through these chapters, and/or ask questions if you'd like. I'll answer them in the next chapter's beginning author's note as long as it doesn't give anything away.
> 
> This update marks the first chapter of the main story, so I'll be waiting for even more feedback.
> 
> Enjoy.

MARCH, 2016 ━ PRESENT DAY:

Yellow light filters into the couple’s room through thin, white, wooden blinds. Sheer curtains barely frame the medium-sized, arched window above their headboard, moving ever so slightly whenever one of the girls shifts against the mattress. Their bedspread is a nice cream color adorned with a dark brown, decorative blanket which is currently hanging off the edge of the mattress, being kicked down during the girls’ previous activities. Across from their bed is a fake fireplace — something Emily had initially raised an eyebrow at when they first bought their New Jersey home — and next to it is a flat-screen TV, though it’s rarely used. Their room is extraordinarily large, to put it bluntly, and their master suite takes up at least seventy percent of the second floor with a sky-lit bathroom (containing a long, glass shower), a vaulted ceiling above their bed, a tucked-away lounge area with a bookcase, and two partial-walk-in closets. 

On the other hand, however, the house isn’t too big on its own. In fact, it’s just enough space for a small family, being made up of a master suite, the necessities (including a second, full bathroom on the first floor), and a guest room. Additionally, the two had set up a nice “gym” on the other side of the second floor, just next to the staircase. 

A little over a year and a half ago, Emily had been bartending at a high-end pub located within the outskirts of New York ━ to be more specific: a classier area than which they actually  _ lived  _ in, although they had moved from Alison’s “safe house.” She had been at the job for a bit (after quitting some awful pizza-making gig) and her boss took a strong liking to her right off the bat, saying she reminded him of his step-daughter. Honestly, most times, the brunette even looked towards him as a father figure, especially because she hadn’t seen her parents in years — ever since she ran away with Alison. One day while serving some customers, her boss, Franco, had called her into the back room where he had a mini-office.

_ “Embrey,” his deep, smoky voice bellows as he turns around in his swivel chair, “I have a question for you, and then I have a slight proposal.”  _

_ “Okay…” her eyes scan the room and narrow. _

_ “You’ve been here for a little while now and it’s no secret that you’re my favorite employee,” he chuckles. “You’re hardworking and driven, and that’s what’s needed now-a-days. To survive, I mean.” _

_ Emily watches on, listening to what he has to say. _

_ “I know that you’ve helped me out with management before, but have you ever been interested in crunching numbers on your own time?” _

_ “I don’t really understand the question…” the brunette chuckles.  _

_ “My proposal is… I have a good buddy in New Jersey… Newark, to be exact,” he flips through a few papers on his desk. “He’s a great guy, but a terrible number-man, and he knows that. So, currently, his pub is just barely staying afloat, which is where you come in. This place is my baby so I can’t go, myself, but would you like to? It’s a small move, and, trust me, the pay will be much, much greater, but the decision is yours.” _

_ “What would I be doing?” Emily (Embrey) flashes a small yet cautious smile.  _

_ “He wants to drop the project, but I told him I’ll discuss with you whether or not you’d like to go and, well, try being your own boss. He’ll show you the ropes before you’re good to go, but I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it quickly.” _

_ “Do you really think I’m capable of doing that?” her voice is small and a million thoughts race through her head.  _

_ “I think you’re capable of doing anything you set your mind to, and that’s why I’m presenting you with this opportunity. I believe in you, Ivy.” _

_ Emily laughs at the nickname people have stuck her with over the years — honestly, she never knew how or why the name came about, but she heard it thrown at her left and right and, really, it makes her cringe less than “Embrey” does — still.  _

So, after returning home that same night, she presented the idea to Alison who,  _ immediately _ , pushed herself off of the couch and threw herself at the other girl, kissing her lips repeatedly with muffled comments such as  _ “I’m so proud of you”  _ and  _ “Let’s get out of here.”  _

A week later and they were packing, two weeks later and they were making a series of calls to their respective bosses (with Alison no longer working at her  _ shitty  _ waitressing job, yet a friendlier one), and a month after that, the girls were on their way to Newark. They hopped from hotel to hotel for a bit (which, since they chose nothing fancy, wasn’t all that expensive), looking for houses every other day. Finally, the couple stumbled upon a cute, remodeled, farmhouse-looking property with two stories and an extended front porch. It sits outside the city, in a suburban-feeling area, with quiet neighbors and little traffic. Fortunately, however, the city isn’t too far, which means Alison’s new job (being a self-defense teacher at a local college) doesn’t take long to get to — it worked out in Alison’s favor, especially, since her sporadic work-schedule includes many night classes. Emily, on the other hand, works mostly from home since her form of ownership mostly includes online-oriented numbers and management — but obviously, from time to time, she heads down to Hollow Street’s Pub (name courtesy of the former owner) just to check on how things are running.

The blonde girl shifts slightly, her sweaty skin sticking to the brunette’s as she moves.

“Are you falling asleep again?” Alison whispers as she snuggles further into the other girl’s side, her bare leg rubbing against Emily’s thigh. 

“No,” she breathes out with a small laugh, “just resting.”

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” Alison smirks, more so because she isn’t sorry at all. 

Two hours ago, around seven o’clock, the blonde had woken up from both the new-morning sunlight and a familiar sensation bubbling in her lower stomach, pausing a moment before slowly rolling over to kiss the tanned girl’s neck repeatedly. Emily groaned at the contact initially, breathing deeply since she wasn’t completely awake at the time, until her eyes finally fluttered open to see the other girl staring at her with a lustful expression. It didn’t take long for Alison to re-apply her lips to Emily’s neck, toying with the girl who was still half-asleep. After that, the brunette hummed at the feeling, and Alison’s hands began to roam as Emily turned over to face her, pressing the blonde girl against the pillows and initiating more than just kissing. 

“No, you’re not,” Emily knows the other girl much too well by now. 

“Okay, you caught me,” Alison jokes. “Come on, get up. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

The brunette groans, “I hate how lively you’ve become in the morning.”

“I can change back, you know,” the other girl raises a daring eyebrow as she sits up, taking the sheets with her. 

Emily grabs for the covers as her eyes remain closed, moving her hands around the mattress and intentionally against Alison’s inner thigh, earning a sharp swat and a laugh. 

“Fine,” she huffs as she sits up, running a hand through her hair with a sleepy pout. “Go shower. You smell like sweat and—”

“Say no more,” the blonde is already maneuvering around the bed, making her way over to the master suite’s bathroom. “You better not be in that bed when I get out,” she warns before the door slams shut. 

Emily rolls her eyes at the other girl, sitting in place for a minute longer. She reaches towards her nightstand, picking up her favorite (and basically her  _ only _ ) piece of jewelry, pushing the diamond ring onto her finger and admiring it — just like every single morning she puts it on. It’s not clunky or large, and that’s what makes it even more special, because it shows how much Alison  _ knows  _ her and her simple tastes by now. 

Alison proposed three months ago, in December. It was four years since they started officially dating, and three years after Emily had bought Alison an elegant promise ring for their anniversary. Really, they always agreed to  _ not  _ be super cliché in the sense that they kept all of their anniversaries strictly revolving around the same exact date, but, in the end, their relationship always felt the best in December, especially because that’s when Emily felt the most at peace — which Alison adored. 

After nearly a year of being on the run together, Emily and Alison couldn’t shake their growing feelings and, this time, Alison didn’t want to whatsoever. In fact, she’s the one who initiated most of their first time’s and/or heart-to-heart’s, begging Emily to trust her. It took a few, extensive discussions to figure out what they wanted out of everything (after multiple “accidental” kisses), and if anything would mean something in the end, but the two agreed to give it a shot. After all, they had dealt with each other for nearly a year at the time, through dangerous and sometimes painful situations, leaning on one another for support when either of them missed their friends, family, or Rosewood as a whole. 

They stayed stable through most of their relationship, only hitting a few rough patches when Alison started to guard herself once again (and it wasn’t intentional), and other times when Emily became a bit too overprotective. After a large fight, Alison had walked out for a few hours, only to come back to a furious brunette. The blonde girl didn’t fight back, however. Instead, she cried just as she looked Emily in the eyes, falling into the other girl’s arms and muttering things such as _ “I’m sorry,” “I didn’t mean it,”  _ and  _ “Please don’t leave me.” _

It took five months after they officially got together to easily say “I love you” to one another. At first, it was difficult, especially for Alison, but they mutually understood the struggle with the weighted words. When the words finally came out, however, they felt completely weightless and… perfect — like it was so natural. After that, they fell into bed together, igniting their courage to go further than they had ever gone together before which, if you asked them, was perfect as well — there was slight awkwardness and nervousness, yeah, but there was also so much love, and that was enough to make them go back for more the next day. 

When Emily gave Alison the promise ring, the blonde girl’s eyes welled with tears at the gesture, even though she’d never been one for cheesy things. It moved her, in all honesty, that her girlfriend would go out of the way to get her something that would bond them even deeper than anything beforehand. After that night, Alison wore a never-disappearing smile and, even when angry, her eyes betrayed her constantly while looking at the brunette whom she’s called home for quite some time. Days later, the blonde made a mental promise to herself that she’d be the one to propose, and she eventually fulfilled that promise. 

It was a snowy, Friday night, and their living room was full of lit candles. Emily had been at the pub all day working hard with some of her newer employees, so Alison made a spur-the-moment decision, cooked a nice meal, and dressed up after lighting just the right amount of candles. When Emily walked in, she was dumbfounded and wore a dopey smile when she saw her girlfriend standing in the kitchen, a gentle smile gracing her features as her red-colored lips became more prominent against her tight, black jeans and burgundy blouse — not to mention the pair of heels which always made the brunette's mouth go dry. It took a while for Emily to pick her jaw up off of the floor, but she managed, and, eventually, sat across from her girlfriend as they drank wine and ate the delicious meal, Emily teasing,  _ “I’m glad at least one of us learned how to cook,” _ and earned the response  _ “I always knew. You’re the only one who sucks at cooking.” _

Once their dishes were cleaned and put away (messily, since Alison didn’t want to ruin the mood), they sat on the couch, faces inches apart as they both leaned against the back of the cream-colored piece of furniture. At the time, the blonde girl was internally panicking because 1) she didn’t think through how,  _ exactly _ , she was going to go about with proposing, and 2) the entire situation was nerve-wracking. It didn’t take long for Emily to grow concerned when Alison’s face began to grow a bit pale, but the other girl quickly recovered and brushed it off with a compliment, mentally smacking herself in the face afterwards. She was a nervous wreck, really, and looking back, Emily now knows why and it makes her grin; over the years, she’s gained a great power when it comes to affecting Alison, and she loves every bit of it. 

_ “I want you forever,” Alison says suddenly, tears already springing into her eyes. _

_ “You have me, Ali,” Emily mistakenly takes the other girl’s tears for that of sadness.  _

The brunette rolls her eyes at her past self, cleaning the ring slightly with her thumb. 

_ “No, that’s not—” the blonde breathes out a soft chuckle. “I mean…” _

Emily swallows hard when she remembers Alison actually getting off of the couch and kneeling on the floor, currently having tears flooding to her own eyes at the memory — and, in that moment, she was already practically crying. She remembers the blonde looking up at her as she kneeled on the rug ━ and it wasn’t the stereotypical one-knee type of kneel; it was much more Alison-like, and it, somehow, felt three times as romantic as the girl seemed so much more shy (yet confident) than ever before.

_ “After you gave me that promise ring years ago, I had a long talk with myself. I felt… different,” she shakily continues, the tears forming more and more.  _

_ She rubs her lips together, “Not a bad kind of different, but something inside me definitely changed, and I just knew that, for years, I tried escaping my feelings for you because I thought they’d ruin me in the worst of ways. It wasn’t until I wore that ring that I realized those feelings have been what have made me live more than ever before. God, I love you so much, and I’m happier than I’ve been in recent years. I know you’ve already been with me for so long, but now I feel…” she shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “I want to be yours forever, and I want you to be mine forever. I want us together, always.” _

She smiles at the thought, feeling her heart beat just as it had that candlelit night. After that last declaration, Alison reached into her pocket for the ring (save the box), breathed out a low  _ “Emily Fields,” _ and pinched the beautiful piece of jewelry between her pointer finger and thumb, finally whispering those four permanent words:  _ “Will you marry me?” _ A no-hesitation  _ “Yes” _ followed the question not even seconds later, causing both girls to smile so big with tears welling in their eyes. Alison slid the ring onto Emily’s finger, and, without wasting time, the brunette kissed the other girl hard, not wanting to depart for the rest of the night — which they didn't.

Emily hears the shower shut off and her eyes widen as she scurries out of bed, grabbing her phone and a robe on her way out of the bedroom. She tiptoes through the hallway and down the wooden stairs as she hears the master bathroom’s door open, followed by the comment “I’m not dumb, you know” from Alison who pokes her head out of the bedroom. The brunette chuckles as she makes her way into the kitchen, turning left once she descends the last, hardwood step. She automatically goes over to the refrigerator in order to grab some orange juice. Next, she makes a few pieces of toast, saving some for Alison once she joins. 

Passing the extended center island and making her way over to the kitchen table, she sits down and pulls her phone out of the robe’s pocket, placing the device next to her plate as she scrolls through some social media apps. 

“Good morning, again,” the blonde sings out as she saunters into the kitchen, entering from the stairwell facing Emily’s backside.

The other girl doesn’t turn around in her chair to greet her cheery fiancée; she simply throws a sweet “Morning, sunshine” over her shoulder and turns her attention back to the phone in front of her. Suddenly, a thick, shiny binder lands on the placemat next to her plate of food, causing the butter knife to clank around. 

“ _ Jeez _ , Ali,” she breathes out after having what felt like a minor heart attack. 

The other girl sits in the chair adjacent to hers, smiling ear to ear with an “I’m not all that sorry” expression. Her hair is damp and messy, and she’s wearing a short, white robe that’s very low cut — something that Emily’s become accustomed to seeing every morning, and she’s  _ definitely  _ not complaining. 

“Didn’t we go over this stuff last night?” Emily whines while using her right pointer finger to flip open the cover of the binder, skimming through the laminated pages of various (and somewhat  _ complicated _ ) wedding options. 

Alison arches an eyebrow, “Well…” she begins before her forehead creases in faux thought, “we went through  _ some _ … but then we got a bit  _ distracted _ ,” the girl says pointedly and Emily’s cheeks turn a light shade of red. 

“Forget already?” Alison concludes with a small smirk.

In response, Emily’s lips part a fraction before closing again, looking away, and sighing. 

“Right, so,” Alison starts up again, “today is the first meeting with our official wedding planner, and I don’t think we need to show up with everything  _ completely  _ decided, but I’m sure she won’t be happy if we arrive with  _ nothing  _ in mind.”

“What are you talking about? You already have a bunch of options right here,” Emily’s eyes widen at the book.

“Em,” Alison’s expression softens and she pouts a little, “ _ please _ be helpful today. This is your wedding too.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know,” she teases before smiling at the girl sitting next to her. “Okay, so who’s our planner, again? You said that someone at the college recommended her,” Emily tries to recall, partially squinting one eye when she starts to remember the conversation.

“Um…” Alison slides the binder over so she can see its contents, “Harlow Ashley, and her office is located in Perth Amboy.”

“I think that’s a little over thirty minutes from here,” Emily purses her lips as she nods. “When’s our appointment?”

“Three o’clock at her office.”

“Alright,” the brunette stretches as she remains sitting. “We should leave here around two-fifteen, then. Just in case. And you better be ready, Ali, or I’m leaving without you.”

“I don’t think you’d survive this wedding planning without me,” Alison challenges. 

When the other girl is silent, once again, Alison giggles before beginning to point towards various pictures, words, and choices to make. 

Around ten o’clock, the two are still sitting around the breakfast table when Emily’s phone begins to ring, her mother’s phone number gracing the screen as Emily bites her inner cheek. 

“Hello?” the brunette answers after a moment of hesitation. 

_ “Good morning,” _ her mother’s gentle voice comes through the speaker and Emily smiles slightly.  _ “Just wanted to call and see how you’re doing.”  _

It’s been ten months since Emily’s father had passed and, though it’s gotten easier, the heaviness still haunts the brunette from time to time — not to mention the fact that she knows it haunts her mother too. After years of being apart from her parents, Emily grew anxious and a bit regretful, which (at the time) Alison took as regret towards running away — with  _ her _ , specifically. Emily was quick to dismiss that idea, assuring Alison that she just felt homesick.

Eleven months ago, the blonde finally sat Emily down, proposing the idea that, maybe, they could visit the brunette’s parents. _ “We haven’t heard from A in a while, Em, and I don’t want you to fall into some sort of depression, ever. You deserve to see them,” _ she spoke sweetly, and Emily’s expression was unreadable at first, but she eventually nodded her head. Alison felt different about talking to Emily’s parents for the first time in what felt like forever, opposing the feeling she always got when thinking about her own parents. Years prior, she had heard about her mother’s death but, due to everything that happened, she never really batted an eyelash at the news. This made Emily feel uneasy at first, especially when she was the one who found out (since she was the only one who kept up with Rosewood news), but Alison eventually snapped, crying when she confessed that she just didn’t care what happened. Emily held her, of course, and accepted the fact that the blonde just never had a good relationship with her family and never will — she doesn’t want to.

One day, Alison came across Emily’s parents’ old phone number (since, truthfully, the memory grew fuzzy over the years), and she gave the paper to her girlfriend. It took a while for Emily to drum up the courage and call her parents, but, when she did, there were tears upon tears upon frantic sobbing. That’s one phone call Emily will never forget, and Alison will never forget watching her girlfriend choke on her own cries, although she knew a percentage of them were happy sobs. During the conversation, the four of them had discussed things that happened, and Emily (very cautiously) told her parents how her and Alison had grown closer, confessing their relationship. Much to Emily’s surprise, her parents just sighed, explaining that they figured the two of them would find their way to one another sooner or later if they hadn’t, originally, left together. At the time, Emily and Alison looked at one another with unreadable expressions, but they didn’t say anything. The call wasn’t as bad as Emily thought it would be, but Alison felt a bit guilty at the time, biting her inner cheek. Regardless, they arranged a meetup for twenty days later… and maybe a day too late. 

As Emily and Alison were (already nervously) driving back to Rosewood, they made their way to the Fields’ residence only to find a fire truck driving away and an EMT throwing his bag into the back of a van. Emily’s stomach immediately sank and her heart shattered while Alison’s mouth gaped, tears springing into her own eyes as the EMT explained that Mr. Fields’ heart had stopped a few times after they had already arrived, which forced them to quickly shove him into an ambulance — and that vehicle had left ten minutes prior. 

The drive over to the hospital was difficult and felt slow. Alison had physically pushed her girlfriend into the passenger’s seat, immediately running to the other side in order to get to the hospital as quick as possible. When they managed to park and run inside, Alison did most of the talking, asking the nurses where to go even though she, herself, was frantic as well. Meanwhile, Emily was near-completely zoned out, not speaking a word since they saw that first EMT. The blonde saw this and tugged on her girlfriend’s hand after being granted the room number, dragging the other girl through the white hallways and, eventually, finding Mrs. Fields crying at the end of one of the E.R.’s many halls. Once Emily saw her mother, she snapped out of the trance and ran over to her, quickly wrapping her in a death-grip hug while they both cried hard. Alison watched on, tears streaming down her own cheeks as she viewed the embrace from afar. It wasn’t long before Mrs. Fields was beckoning for Alison to join in on the hug, keeping the blonde girl snug between them.

Services were arranged quickly, though Emily could barely form a proper sentence for days. Alison was extremely patient with the other girl, not even questioning it when she snuck some of her mother’s liquor and ended up sick in bed throughout the next day. The blonde kissed her girlfriend’s forehead many times that day, making sure to provide any form of comfort, no matter how small. The day after, it rained, and it was the proper forecast provided the occasion of Wayne’s funeral. Some of his Army colleagues showed up (to no one’s surprise), and it was a tear-jerking send-off. Throughout the service, Emily reached for her girlfriend’s hand whenever she felt more tears coming on, and, afterwards, Pam rubbed Alison’s back when she sensed that the blonde girl was starting to break, herself. 

_ “We never blamed you, and I hope you’re aware of that, Alison.” _

Those are the words Alison will never forget — and she’s happy that she won’t. Once that statement fell from Mrs. Fields’ mouth, Alison looked towards her and took in a shaky, tear-filled breath. For so long (and especially during that particular time), Alison had blamed herself for taking Emily away from her family and friends. It wasn’t until, in  _ that  _ moment, that Alison realized… Emily made her own decision, for herself. 

For the rest of the service, Alison made it her goal to bond with Pam, trying to make her laugh with personal stories without going too far into detail — she didn’t want to strike a nerve and make the woman feel like she’s missed any milestones in her daughter’s life. Emily joined in on the discussions after a bit, leaning her head against Alison’s shoulder while her mother smiled softly at the younger couple. 

“I’m doing good,” Emily answers, her eyes flickering towards the girl sitting next to her. 

_ “And how’s Alison?” _ her mother’s tone is knowledgeable and probably a bit smug.

“She’s doing good,” the brunette confirms with an eye-roll. 

“Tell your daughter to stop putting off this wedding planning,” Alison speaks loudly, hoping her voice reaches the woman on the other line. 

_ “Emily,”  _ Pam gently scolds.  _ “Wedding planning is complex and intimate. I promise, you’ll be happy once it’s all said and done.” _

“We’ll see,” Emily smirks and Alison shoots her a glare.

_ “Oh, stop it. We both know I’m right,” _ her mother speaks matter-of-factly and Emily rolls her eyes again.

“Stop playing favorites, Mom.”

_ “You’re my daughter and she’s going to be my daughter-in-law. There are no favorites in this situation.” _

The brunette chuckles, though she loves how much her mother approves of the girl sitting nearby. It’s refreshing, Emily thinks, how well they get along after everything that has happened in the past.

“And how are you?” Emily changes the subject after a few seconds of silence.

_ “I’m… good,”  _ she pauses.  _ “Some days are lonely, but most are normal. I actually planted a few things in the garden the other day.” _

“Sounds nice. I’m glad you seem happier,” she looks down at the table with a sad smile. 

_ “I am, Emily. Thank you for asking about me.” _

“Of course,” she breathes out. “I have to go get some work done before we meet with our wedding planner. I’ll call you soon, okay?”

_ “Work hard, sweetie, and help Alison with the wedding planning.” _

“Yeah, yeah. Love you.”

_ “Love you too,”  _ and, with that, the call ends. 

The couple sits at the table quietly, in the middle of a silent stare-down before Emily flattens her palms on the wooden surface and pushes away from the piece of furniture. The chair scrapes along the black and white, tile floor while the brunette stands up and stretches once again, groaning when she feels her muscles untie from her recent slumber — and other things.

“You’re showering too, right?” Alison suddenly speaks, giggling softly when it sounds extremely blunt and Emily narrows her eyes.

“Are you trying to say I smell?” 

“Well,  _ no _ , but—” her expression is pointed with raised eyebrows as she looks towards the floor, Emily finally taking the hint and turning around to jog up the stairs. 

When the brunette reaches the landing, she follows the wide hallway, passing a few doors before reaching their bedroom and walking inside. At first, she stands in the center of the room while she faces the bed with her hands on her hips. She isn’t sure if she wants to shower first or do some things for work, but both choices disappear from her mind when the other girl slips through the doorway with a soft “What are you thinking about?” 

“Nothing, just got lost for a minute,” she shrugs. 

“We’ve lived here for over a year, Em,” Alison teases as she walks further into the room.

“Ha-ha,” Emily mocks. “You know what I meant.”

The brunette moves to the edge of the bed and sits down when she sees Alison playing with her damp hair in the mirror. She admires the sight, even more so when the blonde’s robe drops to the floor, backside facing the girl on the bed. Emily looks away for a split second and clears her throat, an instinctual reaction from the years prior. Alison smirks in the mirror before her expression turns much softer and, basically, understanding. Suddenly, Emily crosses the room, wrapping her arms around the other girl’s waist and pressing a gentle kiss to the spot under her ear.

“You’re so beautiful,” she smiles, always determined to make Alison feel as loved as she possibly can manage.

“I know,” Alison smirks when Emily scoffs and then laughs.

“I’m glad you know,” her hands drop from Alison’s waist, backing up before the blonde spins around and locks her wrists behind Emily’s neck, kissing her nose gently.

“But thank you for reminding me,” they both smile and get lost in another kiss.

“Always,” Emily gets out in-between pecks.

“Go shower,” Alison finally backs up and pokes at the other girl’s chest with a stern look, “because if  _ you’re  _ not ready by the time we have to leave, you  _ know  _ I’ll leave without you.”

“I’m sorry, is that supposed to be a threat?” Emily teases as she speed-walks into the bathroom, dodging Alison’s small robe as she ducks into the doorway. 

“Ass,” comes the blonde’s final reply. 

 

X X X

 

The couple leaves the house at 2:18 P.M., pulling out of the driveway in Emily’s older-modeled, black car as they pass Alison’s newer-looking, silver one. Sometime during the years, the girls had abandoned Alison’s old, worn-out, black car once it began having major mechanical problems, and they, eventually (once they made more money), sprung for two used cars — one being bought before moving to New Jersey. Had they really wanted to, they could have purchased two newer-looking cars for a bigger chunk of money (because, really, they’re pretty well off with Emily’s job), but they decided that they could someday put that money to better use. As long as the vehicles get them to where they need to go, they’re fine. 

Before they headed out the door, Emily finished up some work for the pub, crunching many,  _ many  _ numbers (to which, one time, Alison had said,  _ “How the hell did you get so good with numbers?” _ ), which didn’t take all that long after she showered. While she was at her old workplace back in New York, she had gotten exceptionally good at management, especially because she was “under the wing” of Franco for most of her time there. Alison was jealous at first, and it showed; there were days when Emily explained how smoothly things at work were going, to which the blonde just grunted and, behind her back, mocked with different facial expressions. Emily caught her one day, an incredulous look written across her face before she breathed out,  _ “Alison, are you jealous?”  _ Yeah… that didn’t make things any better. They got over it, however, and the blonde shrugged with a sudden _ “It’s fine… you go make money while I relax.” _ Emily shook her head at the time, but it works out great for her — she feels… accomplished, in a way, to be able to provide for the love of her life. 

Alison sighs in the passenger’s seat, breaking Emily out of her thoughts. The brunette looks over to see her beautiful, blonde fiancée, scrolling away through her phone. Emily admires the other girl, thoroughly happy that Alison had agreed to getting rid of her hideous black wig when they moved to New Jersey. 

_ “Ali… I have a… request, kind of,” Emily stacks one of their moving boxes onto the old, kitchen island.  _

_ “Mhm?” Alison hums as she looks up at the other girl.  _

_ “Can you…” she bites her lip. “Can you not bring your disguise when we move? I want a fresh start, Ali, and sometimes I feel like it’s holding us back from being… us, and I don’t think A’s around anymore, and—” _

_ The blonde smiles at Emily’s boldness and flat-out explanation (even if she begins to ramble), happy that the girl had, sometime, figured out that she needs to have a solid backbone — not just with her, but with everyone.  _

_ “Okay,” comes the hushed response, interrupting the other girl. “Deal.” _

It made Emily feel better, definitely, because she always loathed kissing or even flirting with Alison when she was wearing her “Vivian disguise.” They still (legally) remain under the names “Vivian Darkbloom” and “Embrey Fields,” but, inside their own house’s walls, they’re just… Alison and Emily. Occasionally, their real names are tossed around once they leave the house, and they normally have to recover rather quickly, but, surprisingly, it’s never been  _ that  _ difficult knowing when to use what name. Some people they’ve come into contact with even know their real names, but only the most trusted colleagues such as Emily’s employees and a few of Alison’s work friends. Though the brunette still feels flinchy whenever someone directs the name “Vivian” towards Alison, she knows that the blonde girl feels the same way when others call her “Embrey” or “Ivy.” On the other hand, a few days after Alison had proposed, the blonde girl was cuddled up to her new fiancée as she whispered,  _ “I’m really glad you decided to keep ‘Fields’ as your last name. I can’t wait to steal it,” _ and Emily held her tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of the other girl’s head. 

Additionally, their styles developed ten-fold. Emily, shooting for a darker wardrobe throughout the years, enjoys wearing plaids and leathers in addition to plain t-shirts and tight jeans. For the most part, she tends to stay away from lighter colors ━ not including shades of white and grey. Alison, on the other hand, tends to wear an array of different things. Normally, she enjoys dressing in outfits that show off her figure (and she’s not the only one), including dresses, blouses, and whatever else catches her eye. Color and pattern-wise, she enjoys bold yet not-too-flashy things, and they’ve both come to adore whatever she wears; she’s matured personality-wise and fashion-wise, they think, and their styles have come a long way individually.

“Are we almost there?” Alison speaks up as she shifts in her seat again.

“Mhm,” comes the humming confirmation.

The car weaves through a cute little town center, dozens of people crowding the sidewalks as they walk with small-boutique shopping bags. Somewhere in the middle of a roundabout sits a stone fountain upon boldly green grass, and across the street is a paved eating area extending from one of the nearby bakeries. 

Finally, they park in one of the small parking lots. Alison eagerly slides out of the car and snatches the big binder from one of the back seats, earning a teasing grunt from the other girl. They cross the street quickly, Alison speed-walking in front of Emily who takes her time when she sees that the crosswalk is on a timer. Eventually, they reach the front of a white-stoned building adorned with plants, some bedded into the structure’s walls. They enter through a wooden door, only to learn that they have to walk up newly refurbished stairs in order to get to Harlow Ashley’s office. Once they reach the landing, the two push through a door and end up in a large room (with extremely high ceilings), fit with a chic front desk, a coffee table, wedding-gown magazines, and high-end couches.

“Hello there! Names, please?” the attendant smiles big as the couple approaches her desk.

“Vivian Darkbloom and Embrey Fields,” Alison gets out, hating the way her alias still stings her tongue. 

“Ah, okay,” she clicks away on her laptop. “Cool, just… chill out, look through some of our books, whatever. I’ll buzz you in soon.”

Alison smiles before walking away, arm looped with the other girl’s as she tugs her over to one of the couches. When they sit down, Emily chuckles to herself while Alison shoots her a look.

“I feel like I’m in a doctor’s office,” the brunette continues to giggle, earning a strong poke to the thigh. “ _ Mrs. Ashley will see you now, _ ” Emily lowers her voice and wiggles her eyebrows, being attacked with a few more jabs.

“Behave,” Alison scolds.

Only a few minutes pass before the desk attendant is calling their names, gesturing for them to make their way to the planner’s office. Alison throws a quiet “Thank you” towards the girl as they walk by, holding hands as they stalk down a white, narrow hallway covered in rustic-chic-looking pictures, over-headed by cute sconces. Eventually, they reach the lone door at the end of the hallway, plated with the name  _ “H. Ashley.” _ Alison knocks on the door (though it’s partially opened), earning a sing-song “Come in” from the woman inside. When they enter, a bleach blonde woman is sitting at her desk, dark-rimmed glasses looking down at the papers in front of her as she writes something. Immediately, Emily stops in her tracks and her mouth widens while Alison stares at her, obviously not recognizing the woman until they both look up.

Harlow Ashley is really Hanna Marin, and, judging by the newest expression on her face, she isn’t all that thrilled to come face to face with two of the girls who had left her behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure a few of you saw this encounter coming, but did any of you theorize that Emily and Alison would be engaged, in the first place? Such a beautiful surprise, of sorts.
> 
> So, there you have it: after years, they finally (and unintentionally) end up face to face with an unhappy Hanna Marin. If any of you have read "Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories", I've gotta say… that Hanna is the complete opposite of this Hanna. That's the only hint I'm going to give.
> 
> I want to remind everyone that canon events will be scattered throughout this fic, even if they aren't exactly the same as on-screen. For example, Mr. Fields died both on-screen and in this story, but he died in action within the show whereas, here, he passed away due to heart complications. Very unfortunate, and I actually teared up while writing it (in a non-cocky way) because I think the concept of Emily arriving back in Rosewood a second too late is just so far beyond upsetting. ━ But how about Mrs. Fields and Alison? Both on-screen and in "January of 2011", there will be a lot of people who blame Alison, but a lot of people who don't. I think it's important to know that Emily's parents were able to push aside the idea that their daughter left just to run away with some frivolous teenager, and they accepted the fact that Emily was actually safe.
> 
> If you pay close attention to details, you'll see that the majority of this story's characters have occupations similar to their on-screen jobs; Alison is still a teacher, Emily works at a bar, and Hanna is a wedding-planner (which, to me, borders the similar aesthetic of a fashion designer) ━ just in different variations. Additionally, I always felt entertained by the idea of each girl penning their own, new, legal name, which is why Hanna isn't known as Hanna anymore.
> 
> Next update: Monday (unfortunately).
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoyed this first, main-chapter installment. If not, I hope you at least enjoyed the prologue, and, if not, thank you for giving me a chance in the first place. As always, leave feedback, questions, nothing, etc. Also, enjoy the holiday tomorrow, if you celebrate it (of course), but enjoy your Thursday no matter what. I'll see you in five days.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Monday and, although I usually hate this dreaded weekday, it’s also updating day this week!
> 
> Before we dive into this chapter, I’ve got a message to give ya’ll from my revisor/manager:
> 
> “Honestly, I think you guys are gonna love this one. I’ve had the pleasure to revise about half of this fic so far and while it’s much different from TM&HS, it’s equally as good. The author and I are working very hard to update this fic on a schedule, and we’d really like to thank you for your patience. ━ Love, dilaurentisfields”
> 
> (Honestly, she really signed it “The bitch you love to hate” but I refused).
> 
> I’ll meet you at the bottom.

A thick and menacing silence absorbs the white-walled office space.

Ten seconds…

Twenty…

Thirty…

Forty, dangerous seconds pass as the couple shifts their eyes around the room, though Alison’s mostly remain locked somewhere towards the floor. The girl behind the desk looks back at her notes after another moment, quietly grunting out a quick “Alrighty” and taking a deep breath. She next forces a smile when she looks back up towards the two standing timidly by the door which remains partly opened. Emily continues to scan Hanna’s features which now seem much softer and practically unreadable. 

The girl’s hair is much lighter than it used to be with twice the volume as five years ago, and her style has seemingly evolved, locking away her grungy outfits and turning her aesthetic into something fierce yet elegant. It looks nice, Emily muses to herself (and Alison just the same, if you were to ask her, as well); Hanna has definitely matured over the past five years, look-wise, but who knows what she’s feeling right now — neither parts of the couple standing next to the door feel all that great at the moment. 

“Sit, sit,” the bleach blonde wedding planner instructs when the other two just linger. 

Emily and Alison share a nervous glance before sitting in the comfy, leather chairs in front of Hanna’s (well, Harlow’s) desk. There’s another beat of silence after they sit down, and Alison’s hands shake in her lap as she stares at her feet. Emily notices this and bites at her lower lip; she knows how guilty Alison has felt over the years for just… leaving the other girls behind, and Emily hates that she’s never been able to soothe those destructive thoughts ━ no matter who tells her that the weight shouldn’t come down solely on her shoulders. 

“Let’s get down to business,” Hanna places her palms flat onto her desk as she breathes out, motioning to Alison while silently asking to see the laminated binder. 

When Alison doesn’t look up, Emily swallows hard and nudges her but still no avail. This time, Hanna speaks again, a slight tinge of annoyance in her voice.

“Vivian?” she leans forward.

Still no acknowledgment. 

“Babe,” Emily twists her body a fraction and whispers to her fiancée, “she wants to see the book.”

“Oh, sorry,” Alison shakes her head violently and sniffles a bit, though her face is completely clear when she looks up at Emily.

Hanna flips through the pages and nods with an impressed expression at quite a few of Alison’s choices, thoroughly enjoying her job. Emily watches Hanna carefully, her eyes slightly narrowed as she sees Alison constantly shift in her peripheral vision. The brunette sits quietly and waits for someone to finally address the  _ giant _ , neon-yellow elephant in the room — but neither blonde girl ever does, so Emily takes it upon herself. 

“So, um, how have you been?” she cautiously asks the girl behind the desk.

“Good,” comes the absentminded answer.

“When did you move to New Jersey?”

“Sorry, what?” Hanna finally looks up, pretending that she hadn’t really been paying attention to their visit at all. 

“When did you move here?”

“I don’t understand the question,” she shakes her head and locks eyes with the laminated pages again.

Emily furrows her eyebrows and Alison looks at her with a feared expression, almost shaking her head as if they shouldn’t test the waters at all. The brunette takes her fiancée’s hand and drags her thumb along the girl’s knuckles, hoping to calm her at least a bit. It doesn’t work, however, especially when Emily chooses to speak to their wedding planner again, accidentally opening up a can of worms.

“Hanna—”

“Harlow,” the bleach blonde girl snaps not even a split second later, her true colors finally showing. “It’s Harlow Ashley,” her voice quiets down again, and her eyes snap back towards the wedding options.

Alison winces in the seat next to Emily, sinking further and further back into her chair and remaining silent as the brunette grows impatient. 

“I know you’re upset—” Emily tries, but is quickly cut off by a pair of livid eyes that shoot up from the desk’s surface and lock onto her own.

“ _ Upset _ ?” Hanna seethes with a bitter laugh. “No,” she breathes out afterwards, biting her tongue and not planning on losing her cool again, “I’m afraid you have me confused with someone else,” she looks at her notes casually, “Embrey.” 

“No, I don’t,” Emily stands her ground. “I know you’re upset, but we can’t just—”

“Em—” Alison tries to cut in, though her voice is way too quiet that her fiancée just keeps digging herself into a deeper hole.

“—act like nothing happened and flip through frilly—”

“ _ Em— _ ” she attempts to get the girl’s attention again, noting how Hanna’s face seems to redden more and more by the passing second.

“—wedding options when we all remember—”

“Emily,” Alison’s voice cracks and the sound of her  _ actual  _ name breaks the brunette’s rambling cycle, causing her to spin towards the girl who currently looks like a shell of her usual self. 

Emily’s mouth opens and closes before she takes a deep breath and bows her head, massaging at her temples and forehead with her hand. She whispers a small “I’m sorry” to the girl beside her, and Hanna huffs behind the desk, leaning back in her chair and throwing a silent fit. 

“I think we’re done for today,” the wedding planner speaks, and that’s when Emily’s eyes whip to her former best friend with that of fury. 

“What?” she breathes out with an incredulous look.

“I skimmed through your book and I’ll be pulling up some more-technical options and names within the next few weeks, then I’ll let you know what I find,” she continues.

“Forget the wedding for one goddamn second,” Emily stands up and automatically regrets what she said, slamming her eyes shut and taking a deep breath.

Alison ducks her head slightly and plays with her fingers some more, wishing she was home and hiding away from everything — and  _ everyone _ .

“This is business,” Hanna stands up afterwards, tilting her head slightly, “nothing personal. After we’re done planning, you’ll be gone again, and I’ll be happy.”

It’s the brunette’s turn to bitterly laugh, and that’s when Alison stands up so she can pull the other girl down the hallway, but Emily refuses and continues to stand her ground. Alison partially hides behind Emily, keeping her mouth shut even though she  _ really  _ wants to leave. She holds onto the brunette’s forearm, hoping that it’ll keep her calm and, maybe, keep herself from having some sort of anxiety attack.

“Yes, this  _ is  _ personal.  _ Very  _ personal,” Emily shakes her head. 

“Maybe for you,” Hanna raises her nose a bit. 

“What the hell happened to you over the years?” the brunette continues to shake her head with a great amount of force, trying to rid her mind of every bad thought.

“You’d know if you had stuck around.”

There it is, Emily internally thinks; there’s the real, shattered Hanna. Emily stands there, lips slightly parted as she looks conflicted with a panic-stricken Alison grasping onto her forearm. The brunette swallows hard, not knowing what to say now that she’s gotten the reaction she was looking for — it was a shit plan, really, to poke the bear, but now she has to deal with the aftermath.

“Han—”

“You know,” Hanna cuts Emily off, “after everyone left, I felt like  _ nothing _ .” 

The blonde girl shifts her jaw, visibly looking betrayed… almost as if she’s feeling all of the emotions that she’d felt back when it first happened.

“I  _ was  _ nothing,” she continues. “Caleb was the only person around who even dared to go near me, so we finally left. No one else cared about leaving without warning, so why not? We ran away, changed our names, got married at eighteen, and stayed under the radar. I kept tabs on my mother who, by the way, became an alcoholic because her daughter randomly went missing. Just another missing girl from that fucked up town,” she laughs bitterly. 

“But, in the end, all I could think about was how this all started with you, Alison,” Hanna turns her attention towards the girl cowering behind Emily. “Oh, no, excuse me.  _ Vivian _ .”

Alison shrinks back again with her grip tightening as Emily steps further in front of her, acting like a human shield for her fiancée from one of their former best friends. Hanna’s demeanor doesn’t soften one bit when the brunette stands between them; actually, her exterior almost seems even angrier now that there’s a body dividing them.

“None of that was Alison’s fault, Hanna,” Emily furrows her eyebrows while speaking animatedly with her free hand. “She ran away to protect herself, just like you did, and just like I did.”

“Oh, give me a break. You didn’t run away to protect yourself. You ran away because Alison still had you wrapped around her finger after an entire year of being gone.”

“That’s  _ not  _ why I left,” Emily shakes her head with a glare. 

“Really? Enlighten me on what happened, then. Go ahead.”

When both Emily and Alison remain silent (with Alison on the verge of tears while she stands behind her fiancée), Hanna chuckles.

“And she  _ still  _ has you wrapped around her finger,” she points out, pursing her lips afterwards. “Only now… she has a ring to show for it.”

In this very moment, Emily realizes that her former best friend — someone she had once confided in when she was actually questioning her sexuality, and someone who had been there for her through thick and thin — is completely gone; when Emily left Rosewood, she should have known that she would never see her best friends again — not as they were, at least. 

A tear falls from Alison’s eye as she keeps her head ducked, hoping that they’ll leave within the next minute or so; she knows that it’s practically her fault that Emily left Rosewood years ago, but she’s spent so much time convincing herself that the brunette made the choice on her own — maybe she’s wrong; maybe it  _ is  _ all her fault. She remembers Pam’s words when the woman told her that she’s not to blame, but maybe she was just being nice… maybe—

“We’ll find a new planner, sorry,” Emily speaks quickly and quietly, partially turning away from Hanna who tilts her head further to the side. 

“No,” Hanna shakes her head, “we’re going to do this, and it’s going to be the best wedding, because I want you two to have something to remember for the rest of your lives.” 

Emily bites her inner cheek when she realizes that Hanna’s looking for some type of emotional revenge; obviously Emily isn’t the only one who’s grown a solid backbone over the course of five years. 

With that, the brunette keeps her eyes locked with the girl she used to call her best friend as she guides her fiancée through the doorway, a comforting hand resting on her lower back. For a second, Emily considers taking the laminated book and leaving without looking back (or smacking Hanna with it), but she leaves it for the planner to skim through. As they step into the hallway, they hear one last “I’ll be in touch” before a loud slam can be heard while entering the lounge area. A few sets of curious eyes flicker towards the couple, and Alison feels like she’s been put on display suddenly, her feet picking up their pace as she bounds down the stairs. Emily gives the other girl space, walking a few meters behind her as they cross the street and make it back towards their black car.

Alison slides into the passenger’s seat and stares straight ahead after buckling, not saying a word as the other girl does the same. Emily delays starting the car and sits there, grasping the steering wheel and turning her knuckles white as she tries to drain herself of the enormous amount of anger. The blonde turns her head and stares out the window, another tear falling as she almost slaps it away. 

“Ali,” the brunette faces the other girl and speaks quietly, “back there… I hope you know that I didn’t mean…” her mouth opens and closes. 

Alison doesn’t acknowledge the girl’s words. She simply continues to stare out the window with folded hands in her lap. 

“Alison, please look at me,” her voice is sweet and regretful, which pains the blonde instantly. 

When she finally turns to face Emily, her eyes are watering but she’s trying so hard to hold back her tears, which the brunette flashes a sad, knowing smile at. 

“Don’t listen to her, okay? I didn’t come with you just because you asked me to, and you didn’t  _ make  _ me come with you. I did it all on my own, and I’m happy that I made that decision.”

“I don’t know,” she finally speaks and her tears spill as she looks at her hands. “What if… what if you  _ did  _ come just because I asked, but you’ve spent these years convincing yourself that you did it on your own? What if _ I  _ convinced myself of that? I just don’t know.”

“Ali, listen to me… hypothetically, even if I came because you asked, I  _ stayed  _ because I wanted to. I accepted your proposal because I  _ wanted  _ to,” Emily smiles, which draws a small smile from Alison as well. 

“I’ve trusted you with my life because I wanted to, and you’ve become so much more… honest,” she continues, “and I love it.”

Alison’s smile falters a little, though Emily doesn’t notice at the time. The brunette reaches across the console and grabs onto the other girl’s hand, lacing their fingers for a few moments. The blonde bites at her lower lip as she looks towards their hands, eventually being caught off-guard when Emily leans over and kisses her lips gently. 

“I love you,” she whispers against Alison’s mouth.

“I love you too.” 

With that, Emily moves back to her previous position and finally starts the car, backing out of the parking space and maneuvering the vehicle back onto the road while Alison leans her head against the seat’s headrest. The blonde continues to play with her fingers and, more so, the ring that her and Emily picked out together soon after Alison proposed;  _ “I don’t want to be the only one with an engagement ring, Ali. You’re off the market just as much as I am.”  _ Alison smiles at the memory, but her eyes begin to water when her thoughts start to bite at her again, so she tilts her head back further and closes her eyes as they make their way back home. 

 

X X X

 

The ride ends up being a quiet one, overall. Alison’s mind began to drift off even further sometime near the ten minute mark and she nearly fell asleep at one point, but the girl forced herself to stay awake since the ride wasn’t all that long anyway. Emily occasionally found herself glancing at the girl beside her, hoping that Hanna’s words didn’t harm her too much because, really, they aren’t true, and she wishes that Alison would realize it. During the rest of the drive home, the brunette’s thoughts also wandered off and she felt drained when thinking about how long they’ll have to deal with Hanna’s snarkiness; she knows that, no matter how much the girl stressed that she’ll remain professional, Hanna’s attitude will shine through at one point or another, and Emily won’t hold back next time — honestly, she’s surprised that Alison even held back, especially because her blonde fiancée usually strikes when feeling threatened.

Emily parks her black car next to Alison’s in the driveway, stepping out of the vehicle and making her way onto the front porch with the other girl in tow. She unlocks the door and throws it open quickly, stepping over the threshold with a huff. Alison continues to follow, arms slumped against her sides as she feels drained from the visit. It sucks, really, because she was more than stoked to get a jump on their wedding planning so they could finally be… a  _ family _ , but now she just feels scorned and wants to throw up — for more than one reason, she internally rolls her eyes as she follows Emily into the kitchen.

Alison stands next to the center island and folds her arms against the counter, eventually laying her head in the makeshift cradle while she listens to her fiancée rummage through the fridge. 

“What are the chances that we run into Hanna when we’re miles upon miles from Rosewood? Actually, what are the chances of us running into  _ any  _ of the girls?” Emily finally speaks as she gets a bottle of water, obviously having a lot on her mind after the visit from hell. 

“It’s not like the country is  _ small _ ,” the brunette mumbles the last part. “Or the freakin’ East Coast, really.”

Alison’s head lifts up and her eyes are sunken in, but the other girl doesn’t notice. She snags her own bottom lip between her teeth as Emily’s eyebrows furrow while looking towards the floor, deep in thought.

“Em—”

“And why  _ now _ ? Why, when everything is finally perfect, do we run into—”

“This isn’t the first time,” Alison interrupts, speaking in hushed tones as she looks at the countertop with a timid demeanor; she wants to nip this conversation in the ass so they can move on —  _ without  _ lies or secrets.

“What?” the brunette stops ranting, tilting her head slightly in case she just heard incorrectly. 

Alison sighs, “I said that this isn’t the first time seeing one of them. Not for me, at least.”

Emily looks at her, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, clearly waiting for an explanation. Alison stares back for a moment, looking away when the gaze becomes too much for her to handle since she’s already feeling shitty about the things that Hanna had thrown around, not to mention the fact that she’s tried to explain this entire situation to Emily months before but it just never happened.

“Don’t look at me like that,” the blonde seals her eyes shut firmly and crosses her arms in defense, almost as if she’s trying to shield herself from the impending argument.

“Like what, Alison?”

“Like you’re already pissed at me.”

“I’m waiting for you to explain,” Emily stands there, bug-eyed with her palms flat against the kitchen island’s surface. 

The other girl takes in a deep breath as she leans her front against the counter, the surface being the only thing separating them.

“I saw Spencer a year or so ago…”

Before she can even get the entire sentence out, Emily is scoffing and shifting her jaw as she, similar to her fiancée, crosses her arms — though it’s more with anger than defense. 

“She came to the college to do a lecture on some doctor-related stuff,” Alison runs a hand through her hair. “I don’t know the specifics, but we practically collided in one of the hallways at night, and we talked for a few minutes.”

_ “Oh, hey…” Spencer breathes out as she gets a good look at the girl standing in front of her. _

_ Alison stands there, speechless as a few feet now separate them. She studies Spencer’s new look: she has bangs, her hair is longer, and her face is more structured now. She notes the girl’s visitor’s nametag: “Juliet Lockhart; Guest speaker.” Swallowing hard, she forces a smile.  _

_ “Wow,” she shakes her head and doesn’t really know what to say. “What are you—” _

_ “Instructing a lecture on…” Spencer starts before cutting herself off, “doctor stuff, really. It’s not all that important. What about you?” _

_ “I work here. I teach self-defense down the hall.” _

_ “Oh,” is the short reply, though Spencer nods her head in an impressed manner. _

_ “Um,” Alison looks around, “how’ve you been?” _

_ “Meh,” Spencer makes a weird sound and face. “Neither here nor there, but better lately.” _

_ Alison purses her lips and nods; where do they go from here? _

_ “Alison,” the other girl starts and the blonde looks around the hallway to make sure no one else heard the name.  _

_ “Oh, sorry,” Spencer catches herself, “I just… I know you’re with Emily, or… I mean… I know she left with you and, at the time, I didn’t understand, and maybe I still don't,” she rambles, “but I hope you two are doing well.” _

_ Spencer looks at Alison with a knowing expression, especially when the blonde slightly blushes even though she’s trying her hardest not to.  _

_ “Here,” the brown-haired girl reaches into her satchel and pulls out a business card, “I know this is more businessy than personal-looking, but, yeah, just in case you ever want to catch up. I’d love to see Em too.” _

_ “Thanks,” Alison says timidly. “Nice seeing you,” she gets out before Spencer smiles and walks away.  _

_ “Hey, um,” the blonde calls out again, causing the other girl to turn around, “I’m sorry.” _

_ The brunette musters a small, sad smile and nods an inaudible “I know” before turning around and exiting through a pair of double doors, disappearing into a college parking lot. _

Emily paces next to the center island while Alison watches her every move and facial expression. The brunette bites her lip as she continues, constantly peeling at the skin from her chapped lips as she cracks her knuckles in order to occupy herself. 

“Can you  _ please  _ say something?” Alison breathes out, but it sounds more like a whine. 

“Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?” she stops pacing and her eyes widen at the other girl. “Why  _ wait _ ?” 

“Em, I was afraid,” her blue eyes widen as she looks around and stutters slightly. “Wh━what if A came back at the time? I couldn’t risk it. Not in our new home.” 

“You didn’t care about A coming back when we called my parents!”

“Because your parents weren’t part of our targeted friend-group, Emily! I don’t know. I panicked, and I just wanted to keep you safe,” she stresses.

“It wasn’t your call to make, Alison,” Emily shakes her head and huffs.

“I’m sorry, okay?” the blonde runs a hand through her hair. “I know I fucked up, yes, I know that. I wanted to tell you, and I was always trying to find the right time to. The day after…” her voice trails off. “I was going to tell you, but I was  _ afraid _ .”

“If A came back then we’d be stronger  _ together _ .”

“You don’t know that, Em.”

“No, because we were never all together,” she bites back and Alison falls silent. 

Emily sighs and leans her back against the upper cabinets behind her, putting her hands over her face as she massages her eye sockets. Alison watches her and looks towards the countertop once again, feeling slightly burnt by the other girl’s digging words. 

“I’m sorry, Alison, I didn’t mean that.”

“Yes, you did, but you’re right. I wasn’t there.”

The brunette doesn’t try to refute Alison’s statement both because 1) she knows that the blonde girl won’t believe her anyway, and 2) Alison really  _ wasn’t  _ there, so none of them really know what solidarity is. Instead, her eyes flicker towards her fiancée who leans her elbows on the island’s surface, and she moves closer so she can mimic the position and take Alison’s hands between her own.

“Ali, no more lies,” she speaks quietly, her voice unwavering, “and no more secrets. We left those back in New York, and that’s where they’re going to stay. We need a clean slate.”

Alison swallows hard, “I know. You’re right. I’m sorry, I just… sometimes I block out everything from the past,  _ especially  _ New York. Everything that happened there…”

She continues to explain, “Then, when I’m faced with a decision… I feel like I’m that old, bitchy Alison again and I can’t…” her voice trails off, and that’s when Emily takes over.

“You’re far from that old Alison. You have to realize that sooner or later.”

“I know,” her voice is even quieter.

New York was hell for both of them, and, if they recounted the many memories of the shit that happened back then, they’d shutter repeatedly. Sure, great things also happened in New York (like the start of their relationship), but neither girl will ever forget the lasting, burning impressions of hard decisions they had to make, such as Alison quitting her first, under the table job, and trying to find a new one as she almost got sucked into a few, much more disastrous gigs. Occasionally, she’d lie to Emily regarding her whereabouts, especially when they agreed to never wander off alone, but, for the most part, they stuck together. Their pasts may be tainted, but their New Jersey life together is bright and shiny, which is the most solid thing they’ve had in a long time.

Emily plays with the other girl’s hands on top of the counter, tracing both of their rings while a silence falls upon them. A few seconds later, the brunette rounds the center island and wraps the blonde in a warm hug, rocking her slightly as their embrace tightens when Alison presses her body further into the other girl’s. Honestly, they’d both love to stay like this forever.

“I’m so lucky to have you, Em,” Alison buries her face into Emily’s chest and the brunette smiles.

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she kisses the top of Alison’s head and unravels their limbs, then looks towards the clock to see that it’s currently 6:07 P.M. Without asking, she moves over to the fridge and takes out some leftover Chinese food. She heats up most of the leftovers (save the chicken fingers because they both enjoy eating them cold for whatever reason), and places the large plate of food on the kitchen table so they can both eat. Alison sits down and hesitates at first, not having much of an appetite, but ends up taking a few bites once Emily does her best to make the girl smile. 

“Come on. Eat. We haven’t since… twelve-thirty,” Emily recounts as she looks at the clock again. 

“I’m not really hungry,” she shakes her head, but Emily waves a chicken finger in her face and she takes it.

“Fine,” Alison relents.

“Thank you, baby,” the brunette offers her a small grin and goes back to eating. 

More silence floats between them, and Alison’s stomach feels queasy as she recalls the day’s events. All the girl wants to do is curl up in Emily’s arms and fall asleep — maybe if they could sleep for the next week or so, that would be great. The brunette notes the other girl’s silence and flashes her a sad smile, understanding that Alison’s probably completely drained from the day overall, though she’s pretty bummed because the blonde girl seemed so energetic before their visit with  _ Harlow Ashley _ — she internally rolls her eyes.

“Em,” she speaks up, “I really am sorry… I just wanted to—”

“—protect me, I know,” Emily gives her a side-smile. “I’m still not the happiest right now, but I know you weren’t doing it out of selfishness, Ali. I’ll be fine.”

Alison bows her head.

“But,” Emily continues and the other girl’s eyes snap towards hers, “I want to call Spencer.”

The blonde girl bites at her lower lip and rubs at her forehead; she knew Emily would want to call Spencer, but she didn’t think it would be an immediate request. In the end, she agrees because she thinks that Emily deserves it after everything — maybe they both do. 

“Okay… can it wait until tomorrow? It’s getting late, and I’m—”

“Of course. I know you’re tired.”

“Thank you,” Alison breathes out, blinking a few times.

When Emily can tell that Alison is still worried about something, she reaches across the table and grabs for her hand, arching an eyebrow that silently begs the question “What’s wrong?”

“What are we going to do about Hanna?” the blonde girl finally voices her worry.

“I guess we’ll just have to try and cooperate. I know she won’t intentionally screw things up. She’s pissed but not  _ that  _ vengeful,” Emily speaks and Alison tilts her head in slight agreement. 

“She blames me.”

“Whatever she thinks… it doesn’t matter, Ali.”

“It does to me.”

“It shouldn’t.”

“Well, it does,” the blonde’s eyes snap towards her fiancée’s and her voice holds a biting tone.

Emily leans back in her chair and keeps her eyes locked with the other girl’s; she understands that Alison is upset and pretty self-blaming, so she’s not taking the girl’s demeanor to heart, but it’s still difficult.

“She can blame you as much as she wants, Alison, but that doesn’t mean anyone else does,  _ especially  _ me. What about Spencer? You said she seemed indifferent.”

“I don’t know. She seemed… awkward, I guess. We both did,” Alison shakes her head. “Aria probably blames me too. I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had a secret pact to get some type of revenge eventually. I wouldn’t blame them.”

“Don’t say that, Ali,” Emily furrows her eyebrows. “They’re all probably angry and, possibly, they don’t understand. We never tried explaining ourselves to them. Maybe if we did—”

“They wouldn’t have listened, Em, and you know that. Hanna and Aria, at least. Probably Spencer, too.”

“We could try now.”

Alison opens her mouth to speak and then sighs when she rubs at her eyes again. 

“I don’t know,” she repeats those three, common words; she never knows anything when it comes to difficult situations. 

“Just sleep on it. We can figure it out tomorrow morning,” Emily gets up and kisses Alison’s head on her way to the kitchen sink. 

She rinses off the few dishes and then shoves them into the dishwasher. While she puts her water bottle back into the fridge, Alison makes her way over to the stairs and goes up to their bedroom, determined to get comfortable for the night and, hopefully, rest. Once Emily is finished cleaning the kitchen, she follows Alison’s lead and goes upstairs, only to enter and find her fiancée in only a bra and underwear. Under usual circumstances, she’d saunter over towards the other girl and kiss her neck until they fell into bed minutes later, but tonight she offers her a sweet smile and passes by so she can rummage through her own closet. While Alison bends over to pick her baggy shirt off of the bed, Emily catches sight of that jagged scar earned years ago. She winces at the line, biting the inside of her cheek as she turns back towards her closet and enters.

_ “Ali, what’s wrong?” Emily climbs her way upwards when the naked girl beneath her sniffles hard. _

The brunette remembers their first time having sex and the reaction she got when she first pressed her lips near the scar, wanting to let Alison know how much she admires every inch of her. 

_ “I’m sorry,” Alison apologizes as she catches her breath.  _

_ “Did I hurt you?”  _

_ “No, it’s…” she lifts her chin and slams her eyes shut while Emily’s body is pressed in between her legs. _

_ “I just wanted you to know how much I love every part of you,” the brunette worries at her bottom lip, afraid she just ruined everything. _

She remembers the look on Alison’s face when she realized Emily’s intentions, a few more tears slipping out as she melted their lips together again. After that, the other girl sunk down similar to before, kissing the scar once again as Alison drew in a sharp breath, then she continued to make the blonde girl  _ feel  _ for the rest of the night.

Finally, she picks out a simple pajama outfit (made up of just shorts and a tank top), then makes her way out of the walk-in closet. When she gets out of the small room with her new clothes on, she sees Alison lying down already, baggy t-shirt and pajama pants covering her body as she’s curled up, facing the other wall. Emily frowns to herself and shuts off the overhead lighting, their room only being lit by a small lamp in the corner. She walks into the bathroom and brushes her teeth quickly, looking at herself in the mirror before glancing down and playing with her ring. It doesn’t take long before she returns to find Alison in the same position, lying on top of the comforter as she’s practically in fetal position. The brunette stares at the back of the other girl’s head for a moment, waiting for her to turn around and suddenly start smiling like usual, but that obviously won’t happen, so she takes her time removing the engagement ring as she places it on the bedside table. She sighs when realizing that it’s only around 8 P.M., especially because they’re usually awake until 11:30 P.M. ━  _ at least _ . 

When Emily finally gets situated in bed, she pushes her front against Alison’s back and spoons the girl, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek when she leans over. Alison, on contact, turns around in her arms and presses a timid yet hard kiss to her lips. Emily backs up, slightly stunned, but reciprocates. The blonde continues to initiate the kiss, leaning back against the mattress in hopes that Emily will press forward as she lets her fingers trail down the girl’s bicep, towards her hand. When she begins to guide the brunette’s hand down her torso while her thighs part a fraction, stopping just above her pajama pants’ waistline, Emily draws her face back with a curious yet concerned expression.

“Em, please,” Alison’s eyes are pleading more than her actual words — wishing that Emily wouldn’t ask any questions because she’s just not in the mood to think anymore. 

The brunette’s forehead creases in more concern, but she obliges with a small head nod, leaning back in and kissing Alison hard as her hand gingerly slides past the girl’s waistline and plunges into her underwear while earning a strangled whimper, ready to make the blonde girl forget about the rough hours beforehand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, here’s where shit starts to get complicated ━ emphasis on “starts.” 
> 
> Alison and Emily have a really solid relationship as of now, which is why I think, at this point, they’re able to move past things such as Alison running into Spencer (who you’ll see very, very soon). Unfortunately, although Alison was finally “convinced” that everything wasn’t her fault, Hanna, a now-negative influence, is going to have a mammoth-sized impact on her. She’s going to be caught between the concepts “should I let her walk all over me in hopes she’ll forgive me?” and “should I fight back like my normal self?” and it’ll take a toll on her ━ as you can already see.
> 
> I know a lot of you are curious to see how their relationship bloomed over the years, and there will be scattered, small memories throughout the first half of the story, but nothing huge… and there’s a reason for that. These two have settled into a comfortable place together (figuratively and literally), so, in a way, they’re taking things for granted and they’re going to lose their way. But, with every downwards spiral, there’s an upwards redemption, and that’ll be enjoyable.
> 
> I’ve gotta say… writing a villain-esque Hanna is painful yet so, so nice. I feel as though I’m always writing for perfectly-lovable Hannily, and, trust me, this angsty dynamic is going to be super fun as well. I’ve always thought that, if Alison wasn’t the fire to an icy Emily, it’d definitely be an outspoken, angry Hanna. For those of you who want a happy Hannily reunion, you’re going to have to wait a while longer. This first half of this story will basically involve a ticking time-bomb known as Hanna Marin (or Harlow Ashley).
> 
> Thoroughly hating these extensive periods between chapter updates, but, alas, I have to space them out accordingly. I hope that’s okay. Just be patient with me.
> 
> Next update: Saturday.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and I’ll see you this weekend. In the meantime, do whatever it is you people do, and I’ll keep writing this four-part Christmas story.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!
> 
> I haven’t been having the best week (in fact, it’s been quite shitty), and maybe a few of you have been having similar weeks, so I figured I’d make all of us happy with a random update.
> 
> This chapter’s bottom note is ~540 words, so prepare yourself if you read my notes.
> 
> So, okay, I know I say this often (maybe too often?), but I really love you guys, and I appreciate everything you’ve done to inspire me whether it’s simply reading, or following/favoriting, or bookmarking my stories, or writing to me… I don’t know if you can tell, but these stories are much more than just hobbies to me. Writing isn’t something I classify is “leisure.” Sure, I enjoy what I do and what I write, but I call it practice. Someday, I hope to write/tell stories on a bigger platform, and this is the exact practice I need, which is why your reactions make my day ten times better. Thank you.
> 
> Alright, before I get too, too sappy… this is the chapter that will basically kick everything into motion. Have fun.

“Are you okay, Ali?” Emily whispers to the anxious girl sitting in the seat next to her.

“I’m fine,” Alison lies while shaking her head, and the brunette can tell it’s a lie because the other girl’s leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since they sat down ten minutes ago.

Currently, they sit at a wrought iron table outside of a small luncheon restaurant, waiting for Spencer to join them at any given moment. 

This morning, the two had woken up and gone through the hours as if nothing happened the day before. At first, when Emily asked if Alison felt okay, she was expecting a half-assed answer or maybe even a flat out “No,” but, instead, the girl sauntered over towards the edge of the bed where Emily sat and kissed her hard. When they departed, the brunette’s eyes flickered open and Alison raised a seductive eyebrow, pushing the other girl further onto the mattress. She straddled Emily immediately afterwards, whispering the words  _ “Why wouldn’t I feel okay after last night?” _ and the girl beneath her felt… different — it wasn’t exactly a bad different, but something was off. Regardless, the rhetorical question sparked Emily’s memories; the images and sounds from the previous night began to cloud her mind, and it became hard to focus on the issue at hand. While Alison ground her hips further along Emily’s lower torso as they kissed, the brunette remembered the way she helped her fiancée climax over and over again, and, even when she thought the girl wouldn’t be able to take it anymore, the blonde begged,  _ “Please don’t stop.”  _ At the time, Emily thought nothing of it; truly, she knew that what happened throughout the day affected Alison deeply, and she was willing to do whatever it took to make the blonde girl forget about the harsh words.

So, this morning, when the other girl continued to shift her hips and began to bite down on the brunette’s neck, Emily choked out,  _ “No, really, Ali. Are you okay?” _ and received an irritated sigh from the girl above her.

_ “Yes, Em. I’m fine,” Alison’s jaw shifts which completely derails her argument.  _

_ “Don’t lie to me,” Emily furrows her eyebrows and that’s when the other girl rolls to the side and off of the bed. _

_ “Okay, I’m not fine. I’m sorry,” she begins to pace. “I just keep thinking about what Hanna said and everything that’s happened and I…” she trails off, stopping in her tracks, “I want to stop thinking.” _

_ “Then we need to talk, Ali, and we can’t do that when our lips are sealed,” Emily tries to joke but the other girl just shakes her head as she looks towards the floor.  _

_ “I don’t want to talk, either.” _

At that, Emily felt winded — almost as if something or  _ someone  _ sucked the life out of her. At the time, her eyes even began to water due to the statement, but Alison never knew because, once the sentence was out, she left the room and entered the nearby “gym,” the muffled sound of kicks and punches floating through the hallway within seconds. Instead of lingering on the pain, Emily pushed herself off of the bed and made her way back downstairs, determined to get some sort of work done.

After Alison’s small session of frustration-boxing, she descended the stairs to find the other girl sitting at the kitchen table with her head propped up against her hand in a stressed-out manner. Upon seeing the girl’s body language, she frowned at herself for what she had said previously — she knew it was fucked up because, well, what’s a marriage without communication? Sadly, Alison just couldn’t help feeling as though nothing good will come out of communicating — she  _ still  _ thinks it’s a shitty idea.  _ “Fuck it,”  _ Alison thought to herself and walked over towards the other girl, massaging the brunette’s shoulders slightly. At the time, she was expecting a small “Thanks” or a smile, but, instead, the other girl flinched at the contact, causing Alison to draw back immediately with stunned eyes. Honestly, in that moment, Alison was hit with such a heavy wave of guilt and regret that she crossed her arms in a self-comforting manner.

_ “Here, I… um…” Alison wipes at her eyes frantically as she sits down in a nearby chair, “brought you Spencer’s number.” _

_ Emily’s mouth opens but nothing comes out. Instead, she looks at the other girl and reaches for her hand, sympathy swirling in her eyes as Alison’s facial expression starts to crumble with worries. The brunette doesn’t ask; she simply strokes the other girl’s cheek and wipes a few tears away. Before Alison can confess what she’s feeling, Emily speaks up. _

_ “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” her eyes focus on Alison’s blue orbs.  _

_ She sighs, “Mhm.” _

It took two whole minutes for Emily to drum up the courage in order to call Spencer. First, when dialing, she mis-hit a few buttons and rolled her eyes at herself. Next, she must have checked at least seven times to make sure she punched in the correct number. All the while, Alison sat there, anxiously waiting for Emily to finally hit the green phone. When she did, the phone rang twice before Spencer answered with a quizzical  _ “Hello?”  _ and it took Emily a moment to relax her throat and speak. 

_ “Um… hey,” she chokes out. “It’s… Emily.” _

_ A few beats pass before Spencer breathes out, “How are you?” _

_ Alison notes her fiancée’s most recent body language: she looks relaxed, but definitely not the normal type of relaxed — it’s almost as if she’s forced herself to calm down.  _

_ “I’m going to put you on speaker, okay? Ali is here,” Emily’s eyes dot over towards the other girl who now wears an extremely cautious expression.  _

The rest of their conversation was quiet and a bit awkward, but, in the end, Spencer proposed the idea of meeting up for a late lunch, which worked out since Alison starts work around 4 P.M. Once they got off of the phone, both girls sat at the table, staring at the device that laid upon the surface. Neither said a word until five minutes later when Emily finally broke out of her trance, tears forming in the corner of her eyes as Alison’s hand flew across the table and locked their fingers together.

_ “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you before, Em,” the blonde sounds completely choked-up. “I should have told you that I saw her right when it happened. I’m so fucking sorry.”  _

_ “I know you are, Ali,” tears fall down her cheeks, “I know.” _

With that, Emily muttered a quiet  _ “I’m going to lie down”  _ and Alison followed when she finally got up. They spent the next few hours relaxing and, for the most part, spooning with intertwined fingers. It was nice to feel intimate while not being so physical, they both thought, and they reveled in the extensive, quiet moment. 

Soon enough, 1 P.M. arrived (their luncheon date being at 1:30 P.M.), and the two scrambled to get ready since they had fallen asleep for an hour or so. Alison began to (visibly) grow nervous minute by minute, and she snapped at Emily a time or two, but, honestly, both girls were pretty anxious to see one of their old friends — especially since the last time that happened, it didn’t end all that well. So, when they finally slid into the black car, Emily took a moment to inhale deeply a few times, grabbing Alison’s hand over the center console. When the blonde girl felt her fiancée’s hand in her own, she softly smiled and leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of the girl’s lips before the vehicle’s engine started. 

“She probably decided not to come,” Alison stresses as her leg continues to vibrate against Emily’s. 

“Ali, you’re shaking the entire table,” the other girl places a comforting hand on Alison’s thigh which only helps for a split second because they finally see Spencer walking towards them, dressed in a business-casual-looking outfit. 

When Spencer is almost at the table, Emily hastily stands up and waits as Alison remains sitting, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Both brunettes look at one another for a minute, feeling as though they’re re-meeting a sibling that they haven’t seen in years. Without any words being exchanged, they embrace in a hug — a pretty damn awkward hug, and Emily almost winces at the feeling. Spencer must feel it too, Emily thinks, because she flashes a tight-lipped smile before sitting down across from Alison. 

“I was surprised to see that you kept my number,” Spencer finally breaks the mounting silence, directing the statement at Alison who bows her head.

“Yeah…” she bites her inner cheek, “me too, honestly.”

Spencer nods her head and her expression is unreadable. 

“I’m sorry,” Spencer speaks again, her voice strained. “This just feels so surreal.” 

“I know what you mean,” Emily swallows hard. 

Before the conversation can get any further, a waiter stops by and takes their orders, coming back almost immediately with three, simple glasses of water. All three girls look around at everything and anything they can find, trying to focus on something other than the awkwardness clouding their table. 

“Okay,” Alison breaks the silence this time, “I’m going to be honest with you, Sp—”

She stops herself and Spencer flashes her a sympathetic smile.

“I didn’t tell Em that I ran into you. I kept it to myself, and I’m sorry.” 

“I figured you would.”

The other brunette tenses up even though Spencer’s words don’t hold a vicious tone. Alison’s eyes bore into the table, and that’s when Spencer feels the need to clarify.

“No, I don’t mean it in that kind of way,” she shakes her head. “I think we’re all permanently on edge because of what happened. Really, I hesitated when your number popped up today because I just  _ hate  _ unknown phone numbers.” 

Her words put both Alison and Emily at ease, and they nod in agreement. 

“So, you ended up telling…” Spencer looks towards the other brunette, “… _ Em _ that you saw me?”

“Yeah,” Alison’s throat tightens up and she plays with her own fingers.

“Why now?” 

Emily looks away and shifts her jaw slightly. Spencer notices this and narrows her eyes in curiosity, especially when Alison takes a few extra seconds to answer.

“We saw Hanna. Harlow, I mean,” the blonde girl confesses suddenly and Spencer tenses up severely, crossing her arms against her stomach as she purses her lips.

“She wasn’t all too thrilled to see us and had a few choice words,” Alison continues.

“ _ Ha _ , yeah,” Emily breathes out bitterly.

“So, after that, I took the opportunity to come clean and tell Em that I saw you a while ago.”

“Oh,” comes the short reply.

A few more seconds go by before Spencer speaks again.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, she practically hates me too, so. My meet-up with her was anything  _ but  _ a reunion… and it wasn’t even planned.”

“Neither was ours,” Emily’s eyes widen before she explains further. “She ended up being our mystery wedding planner.”

Spencer’s mouth forms a shocked “O” shape, containing both surprise and sympathy for the altercation. Soon, however, she smirks as she takes a sip of her water.

“So, a wedding, huh?”

The two other girls blush and try to look somewhere else, but Spencer doesn’t steer away from the conversation.

“I’m happy for you two,” she says honestly, and the other girls smile. 

“What about you?” Alison turns the tables on Spencer. 

“What about me?”

“Are you…  _ with  _ anyone?”

Spencer goes to speak but a laugh comes out instead, not prepared to spill any details of her love life but knowing that neither of the other girls will relent before getting some information. 

“Yeah, I am,” she smiles. “I’m with Toby, actually.”

“Really?” Emily raises her eyebrows but fumbles to recover when realizing it sounded sort of offensive. “Not in a bad way. I just… never knew you two were super serious back then.” 

“I was never really serious about anything other than my studies and caffeine back then,” Spencer tilts her head. “But yeah, really. We went through a rough patch once we ran into one another in New York, and we were on and off for a while. Eventually it all fell into place.”

“So, are you two just dating, or…?” Alison coaxes.

“Yeah, just dating. I’m too busy with school and work for anything more right now, and he knows that.”

“How’s school?” Emily asks.

“And what do you do for work?” Alison’s question tails her fiancée’s. 

Spencer laughs at their constant questions, deciding to answer them in order.

“School sucks,” her eyes bulge, “and I work at a local jail, somewhat with Toby. It’s a simple job since I only have a small amount of education under my belt, but I’m happy with it.”

“You’re working towards becoming a doctor, right?” 

“Unfortunately.”

Emily and Alison share a look before Spencer expands on her dull answer.

“I hate it. I absolutely  _ hate  _ it, but I promised my parents that I’d go through with it. That was our deal. Honestly, I have so much more fun at my job.”

Before the couple sitting across from the lone brunette can ask when she left Rosewood, why she left, or when she got back in touch with her parents (if they had fallen out), the waiter comes back with their food and places their plates in front of each girl, respectively. They all thank the boy and begin to eat, their former conversation being lost. Throughout their late lunch, the three make meaningless chit-chat, sharing small stories and also telling Spencer how they ended up getting together ━ with minor details. She watches the couple with admiration as they finish their meals quickly.

“So, how’d  _ you  _ find Hanna?” Emily wonders aloud.

“We just ran into each other in the city,” Spencer shrugs. “Small world, right?” she rolls her eyes.

Both Emily and Alison nod with wide, agreeing eyes.

“Speaking of the city and small worlds, did you guys hear who’s in New York for a seven-day book signing venture?” Spencer flips the subject again, taking a sip of her water.

“No,” Emily’s eyebrows furrow and Alison’s eyes widen again.

“Aria?” she breathes out. “I thought I heard something, but I wasn’t positive.”

“Marie A. Fitz,” Spencer corrects with a head tilt. “It’s like we all decided that legally changing our names would be the best solution to what happened.”

“Or easiest,” Emily raises her eyebrows.

“Either way, we all suck at picking names,” Alison shakes her head and rubs at her eye socket. 

“I like my name,” Spencer frowns and Alison snickers. “Juliet Lockhart,” she nods to herself, proudly. 

“Sounds fancy,” Emily comments.

Suddenly, Alison looks at her phone and sees that it’s nearing 3:30 P.M., meaning that they should probably go home so she can get ready for work — even though she really doesn’t want to; surprisingly, she’s having a great time. Emily notices the change in Alison’s attitude and it dawns on her that it’s getting late, so she frowns. 

“Do you two want to go and see Aria? I’m not sure how she’ll react to seeing old faces, but we can try,” Spencer suggests. 

“I wish, but I have to work,” Alison sighs and Spencer breathes out a small “Oh.” 

“You guys go,” the blonde girl continues and Emily’s eyes meet hers. “Can you drop Em off afterwards? We only brought one car.”

“Yeah, of course. I mean… if she wants to go,” Spencer finishes the half-statement, half-question while she faces the other brunette. 

“Uh, sure,” she nods quickly.

“Okay, thanks,” Alison smiles and they all push their chairs away from the table.

When Spencer tries to give them money for her meal, they refuse and Emily pays for their luncheon visit. All three girls walk to the parking lot together before Emily and Alison separate with a short, sweet kiss and a pair of quiet  _ I love you _ ’s. Both brunettes watch Alison speed away in Emily’s car while the tanned girl shakes her head, remembering the many times she’s told Alison to handle her car with care. Within seconds, Spencer is pulling out of the parking space and advancing towards New York City. 

 

X X X

 

The ride is short; it probably takes twenty minutes max to get into the city, but it’ll take an additional twenty or so to find a parking space. While driving (and waiting in thick traffic), the two make quick conversation and share a few laughs. Spencer takes the time to ask how Emily is doing and vice versa, which feels refreshing. Additionally, the brainy brunette asks the other girl how their conversation with Hanna went, though her demeanor seems extremely rough when getting the question out. Emily explains, in detail, what was said and how it had affected Alison, which makes Spencer pretty upset. 

“God, I know she’s pissed but come on,” Spencer partly whines as her eyes flicker towards the rearview mirror. 

She continues, “She has no right to stomp all over you two. When you left, I knew it was with Alison and, admittedly, I wanted to smack you, Em, but I grew out of it. Sure, I still feel sore sometimes when I think about how everyone left one after another, but whatever.”

Emily swallows hard at the other girl’s rant, being caught off-guard by Spencer’s emotions and cracking voice. 

“Honestly, I’m just so sick of Alison blaming herself for everything,” Emily confesses as she fiddles with her fingers. “Hanna’s words just reinforced the thought yesterday, and she’s been a mess ever since… After I spent  _ years  _ trying to convince Ali that I made the choice on my own. After my  _ mother  _ tried convincing her that I made the choice on my own.”

“Your mom’s doing well?”

“She’s… good.”

“I’m sorry about your dad, Em. I wanted to send you something when I found out, but… yeah.”

“Thank you,” Emily smiles sadly. “I just wish I got to see him before he passed. We were a few hours too late.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer breathes out. “I can’t imagine…”

“I thought my mom was going to blame Ali. I really did,” she looks towards the other girl, “but she didn’t. Not one bit. I’ve never been more at ease. My mom took one look at Alison in that hospital hallway and I could immediately feel the love, especially when she pulled Ali into our hug. Like a family.”

“Your mom was a big part of why I was so pissed at you for leaving with Alison. I watched her have hope, and then I watched it crash and burn,” she advances the car a bit further when traffic starts to move. 

“But I didn’t stick around for long after you left. Less than a year, actually, so I never saw her improve. I worried about her a lot for my first few months away from Rosewood. My parents found me almost right away,  _ unfortunately _ , and I asked about your parents often, but they didn’t say much,” Spencer confesses. 

Emily’s throat tightens at the information, once again not expecting the emotion from Spencer but appreciating the tough love all the same.

“Your dad was like a rock, though. I could tell that he was the only thing keeping your mom grounded, and I think that’s when a part of me… let go. I was angry that you left, but I wasn’t mad that it was with Alison. I knew you two needed each other,” she continues. “Not to  _ that  _ extent, but when I saw you with Maya or Paige… there was something missing. We all could tell.”

“She was always in the back of my mind,” Emily smiles sadly.

“And clearly you two made a life together, which, I think, is great,” Spencer looks at Emily and smiles genuinely. 

“Why do you go to medical school if you’re not happy with it?” Emily asks out of nowhere. “I know you said that you made an agreement with your parents…”

Spencer sighs, “When my parents found me after leaving Rosewood, we made a deal. I told them that I couldn’t afford to communicate with them, just in case A decided to target them. Just… I cared for their safety, you know? In return, they told me that they’ll wire me money so I can finish school, and then force myself to get a PhD. Apparently they cared more about having a golden child than a happy one.”

She takes a deep breath, “I started private school almost immediately, and then I moved to New York for medical school. That’s when I found Toby.”

“So, you and Toby didn’t stay together the entire time?”

“No,” Spencer sighs again, clearly regretful, “I had a hard time dealing with everything before I left, and I started to do some stupid things. Toby was there for me through the entire thing, and he watched me crumble. One day, he couldn’t stand it anymore and told me he had enlisted in a local police academy so he could protect me,” she explains.

After a moment of silence, she continues, “And that’s when I left. I knew he wouldn’t let me leave if he had known, so I packed a few bags and ran off while he was gone. I never ran into him until two years ago and, wow, we fought for a while until we fell into bed together a few times. After that, we agreed to try and fix things.”

“Wow,” Emily gets out, not knowing what else to say.

“Yup,” Spencer replies as she finally pulls into a nearby parking garage, only a block away from the library where Aria is signing copies of her newest book.

The two exit the vehicle and find the nearest staircase, having parked on the second floor of the parking garage. Once they run down the steps, Emily looks at her phone to see two texts from Alison:

_ “Got here safely. Have a nice time. I’ll be home around seven.” _

_ “I love you.” _

Emily smiles as they walk along the concrete, making their way towards the elegant-looking library. Really, the building is half-hotel and half-library, but, for the occasion, she’s solely considering it a library. Quickly, she types out a silly-sounding:  _ “Kick some invisible ass. I love you too.” _

Finally, after seven minutes of silent walking (with the exception of various car horns and tire screeching), they reach a pair of giant, golden doors. Spencer raises an eyebrow at a nearby sign, Aria’s “name” etched along the banner in a gold script. Emily mimics the expression before looking at Spencer and walking through the doorway. Once inside, they take in their immediate surroundings: there’s a line of people extending from the front of the room, all the way to where they’re standing, zig-zagging back and forth. Spencer groans but she’s not deterred, and Emily feels the same. To pass the time, the two continue to look around at the extremely tall bookcases, white-tiled floor, and an assortment of couches. On the walls, there are pictures of studious-looking men mixed in with random, aesthetic frames. Overall, it’s impressive.

The line moves quickly (much to their surprise), and it only takes forty minutes for them to be standing about fifteen feet away from one of their old best friends. They peek out of the line, waiting anxiously as the people standing in front of them part ways one after another. Eventually, they’re three people away from the small table, and they hear their old friend saying kind things to her fans, asking them if they enjoyed the book and graciously accepting whatever compliments they throw at her. It’s nice, Emily thinks, that Aria was able to turn her writing into something more — and she also thinks it’s nice that Aria was able to become successful with Ezra by her side. Spencer, as one person now stands between them, grows even more anxious and seems as though she’s about to run away from the situation, causing Emily to feel worried.

Before Spencer can speak once she faces Emily, the last person departs from the table and Aria looks up at two of her former best friends, her eyes seeming as though she’s seen a ghost. Suddenly, before any of them can open their mouths, Aria scoots out of her chair and whispers something to one of the security guards, followed by the man speaking into a microphone, “Mrs. Fitz is done with her open-signing for the day. She’ll be back tomorrow from one to six,” and earning a round of groans from the remaining crowd members.

Emily and Spencer stand there, dumbfounded. They move off to the side and stand near one of the couches, noting that Aria had run into an elevator area with a separate security guard.

“Well that was fun,” Spencer comments dryly, rubbing at her forehead.

“Should we go after her? I think she’s staying here.”

“Probably not right now. I don’t think any of us are ready for that,” she chuckles and Emily agrees.

“I have to do some work, anyways,” Emily groans, remembering the employee spreadsheet that she’s supposed to complete.

“Alright,” Spencer nods towards the door, “come on.”

 

X X X

 

Emily sits at the kitchen table, playing with her engagement ring as her warm laptop sits nearby. She had finished the spreadsheet thirty minutes or so ago, and now she’s just getting lost in her thoughts. She thinks back to Aria’s facial expression; the girl looked so… afraid. Next, she remembers sitting in Spencer’s car afterwards and asking,  _ “Why did she look so scared? Did something happen?” _ At the time, she saw Spencer’s mouth open, but the question was never answered because Toby decided to call at the precise second. It bothers her, really, because she’s never seen Aria  _ that  _ nervous, and she’s pretty sure that there’s something Spencer isn’t owning up to.

She’s broken out of her thoughts when she hears the front door open, followed by an exhausted grunt. Emily snickers at the sound, then giggles when she sees a disheveled Alison walking into the kitchen. The brunette enjoys the sight, honestly, because she knows how much Alison truly loves her job — even if it mutually kicks her ass on occasion.

“How was class?” Emily smiles at the other girl who walks over to the fridge and grabs a water bottle. 

“Painful,” the girl whines.

“I’m going to take a wild guess…” Emily taps her fingers along the table. “You made them do a lot of cardio today, didn’t you?”

“Self-defense isn’t just about defending yourself, Em,” Alison rolls her eyes with a small smile.

“I’m just saying,” she raises her hands in defense as she walks over to the other girl. “It’s your fault that you’re in so much pain.”

“Whatever,” the blonde girl rolls her eyes again and lets herself collapse into the other girl’s arms. “How are things with Spencer?”

“They’re different, but I think we’re fine,” Emily says before leaning down and kissing Alison on the lips once.

“Did you two see Aria?” Alison kisses the other girl again.

Emily rubs her lips together and looks around the kitchen.

“Yeah,” she backs up and leans against the counter. 

“And?”

The brunette shrugs with a conflicted expression.

“What happened?” Alison reaches for Emily’s hands so she can intertwine their fingers.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” the other girl shrugs again. “One minute she was sitting there, and the next she was bolting for the exit. She’ll be back tomorrow, but…”

The blonde girl offers a sympathetic smile and leans into her fiancée’s arms once more, enjoying the way the girl’s tanned arms wrap around her on instinct. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” she nuzzles her head against Emily’s neck. 

“It just bothers me that I don’t know why she ran away like her ass was on fire.”

“Maybe she was just nervous and didn’t expect it,” Alison offers the excuse.

“No, it wasn’t just nervousness. There was something… I don’t know…  _ off _ .”

“Are you guys going to try and see her again?”

“I’m not sure. We didn’t really discuss it.”

“Hmm,” Alison hums, leaning up and kissing the other girl again.

Instead of letting go, Emily deepens the kiss further and tightens her arms around Alison, meshing their bodies together as much as she can. Her hands begin to roam as she slips her tongue against Alison’s, surprising the blonde girl who lets out a small whimper. As a further reaction while minutes pass, Alison tangles her hands in Emily’s hair, pulling their faces impossibly closer. Soon enough, however, she backs up from the brunette, putting some distance in between them as she moves towards the stairs.

“I feel disgusting,” she drones with a slight, shy smile. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

“Can’t you shower later?” Emily calls up the stairs once Alison runs up the steps. 

“Nope,” comes the sing-song response to which the other girl makes a face at. 

The brunette frowns in exaggeration as she turns back towards the kitchen, examining the space while trying to figure out if she has to do anything else for work. When she feels as though she’s all set for the night, she closes the laptop and makes her way into the living room so she can watch some TV. Unfortunately, she can’t find anything all that entertaining, so she scrolls through some social media. 

Giving into her rampant thoughts, she searches  _ “Marie A. Fitz,” _ pulling up a list of Aria’s best-selling books. Emily nods her head at a few of them, though she doesn’t recognize most titles. In the end, she realizes that Aria’s strongest genre is mystery, whereas Ezra’s is suspense. She nods again when she finds their collaboration, a mix of mystery and suspense, earning quite an array of small-name awards.

_ “Jeez, Aria, you’ve been writing for two weeks straight,” Hanna chuckles as she slides into her spot at the lunch table, sitting between Spencer and Emily, yet across from the shorter brunette. _

_ “It’s soothing, Han. You should try it,” she throws back with a slightly teasing smile. _

_ “Thanks, but no thanks. That’d be some A-related torture.” _

_ “Why are you so against writing?” Spencer raises an eyebrow. _

_ “I’m not against it,” Hanna’s eyes widen, “but I can’t stand hearing myself speak, so why would I enjoy writing in my own voice?” _

_ “That doesn’t make any se━” _

_ Spencer is cut off by Aria who chuckles, “You don’t like hearing yourself speak?” _

_ Emily seals her lips, trying not to laugh too hard. _

_ “Anyway,” Hanna ignores the small insult, “are you writing love notes to you-know-who?” she speaks scandalously. _

_ Aria just shoots her a pointed look, “No, I’m just… writing. Nothing in particular. I like writing things that make me feel.” _

_ “Feel?” it’s Hanna’s turn to arch an eyebrow. _

_ “Yes,” Aria chokes out, but it ends up being a slight laugh. _

_ “Well, alright, but you better model a character after me once you’re famous from all your feel-writings,” the blonde gives her a solid head nod. _

“Whatcha looking at?” Alison interrupts Emily’s memory as she makes her way over to the couch and plops down onto the cushions, her hair in a damp, messy bun while she wears a tank top and shorts. 

“Aria and Ezra’s books,” she continues to scroll through the list while the other girl scoots closer.

“You know, I think we have one or two of Aria’s around the house. We picked them up a while ago, remember?”

“Not really,” the brunette squints while breathing out a laugh.

There's a slight pause before someone speaks again.

“I never thought that Aria would use the whole A thing to her advantage,” Alison talks quietly. “I didn’t think any of us would be able to, honestly. I’m glad someone got the chance.”

“Mhm. I guess the situation’s mystery sparked something inside of her,” Emily agrees as she shuts her phone’s screen off and places it on the coffee table. 

The brunette leans back and gets comfortable, slightly falling over when Alison cuddles up to her. They both chuckle when Emily slouches backwards, but the other girl remains in the same position, too comfy to move. 

“Have you heard from Hanna?” the brunette speaks cautiously. 

“No,” Alison sighs. “I bet she just took my book and ran.”

Emily chokes out a small laugh, “Yeah, I’m sure that thing was at the top of her Christmas list.”

The blonde jabs a finger into the other girl’s side, earning a grunt. 

“Are you going to call her eventually? To check in, I mean,” Emily wonders out loud.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I think she’s going to. She  _ has  _ to call, really. She’s still our planner, no matter how much she hates it.”

“If she doesn’t, then I’ll just go there.”

“No, it’s fine,” Alison shakes her head. 

“Well, I’ll have to if she doesn’t cooperate with us.”

“I don’t want you going alone, Em, please,” she lifts her head up. “I’m going to be honest with you… I don’t trust her right now.”

“Why not? It’s just Hanna being Hanna.”

“I don’t mean that I think she’ll  _ do  _ something, but I don’t want her trying to verbally hurt you too.”

“Ali—”

“Please, Em. We can go together if it comes down to that,” Alison’s eyes look nervous and Emily struggles to decipher what the other girl is feeling.

The brunette sighs, and Alison eventually lies her head back down onto Emily’s chest, practically resting between her legs as they remain situated on the couch.

As they continue to cuddle, Emily’s thoughts run in a constant circle; she wants to know what happened between the other three girls, and she wants to know their stories individually. Unfortunately, it’ll likely be a bit more than complicated to get them into a room together — or even  _ propose  _ the damn idea. In the end, the brunette places a gentle peck to the top of Alison’s head before leaning back and formulating a plan to get them all to talk ━ one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who’s got the feeling that Emily’s about to do some stupid shit? Raise your hand because me too (in a non-spoiler type of way, of course).
> 
> Side note: I can’t wait until I’m done fully explaining these characters so we can move on from the nitty gritty (A.K.A. I won’t have to write so much in one author’s note).
> 
> So, we have: Vivian Darkbloom, Embrey “Ivy” Fields, Harlow Ashley, Juliet Lockhart, and Marie A. Fitz. ━ Interesting (with a side of gagging, but anyways). If you’re wondering if/why Toby is still called “Toby,” the answer is yes, and it's because he remained in Rosewood (for a while) after Spencer left oh-so-abruptly. For Caleb, his name is changed because he left with Hanna; his name is Alec Ashley. For Ezra, he’s still Ezra, and you’ll find out that his reasoning is similar to Toby’s.
> 
> Now, clearly everyone left Rosewood for individual reasons: Alison was driven away by threats, Emily left because her questions were consuming her, and (in no particular order) Spencer left out of stress/because she had no idea what to do anymore, Hanna felt abandoned so she walked away from the town, and Aria scurried out of Rosewood due to fear. With these reasons, each girl has a different feeling regarding these “reunion” events: Hanna loathes practically everyone (but mostly Alison), Spencer wishes they could be civil (but she isn’t afraid to bite back), and Aria wants to be left alone. Your questions will be answered soon, I promise.
> 
> I think that Spencer’s background story is one of my favorites in this story. Taking her on-screen family history into consideration, I think it fits that she’d look out for her family whereas they’d force her to go through something super strenuous and brainy. Also, her point of view when it comes to Emily running away with Alison is refreshing because it shows that she actually moved past it (*side eyes Hanna*), and that she mostly cared for Emily’s parents. It seems as though there’s something Spencer isn’t telling Emily, though. Any guesses as to what?
> 
> And Aria. Ohhh, Aria. I’m happy to say that the Sparia dynamic in this story is still a favorite, but, again, it’s also angsty and there will definitely be tears. We have quite a few flashbacks coming.
> 
> Moving on: “I don’t want to talk, either,” is a very important line (in my opinion) coming from Alison because, for years, these two have been each other’s support system, and now… she doesn’t want support in the form of sorting things out, which is why Emily felt so winded when it was said. This pattern is going to continue (unfortunately), and, when you think things are getting better, a lot will go down-hill. Again, let me reassure you that Emison is endgame: EMISON IS ENDGAME.
> 
> Honestly, this author’s note should just be its own chapter, but I promise I’m almost done talking. ━ Ch 7 is an important chapter, and it’s very drama-filled. I think it could be called “Miscommunication” if I were using words for chapter titles. We’ll see how you enjoy it.
> 
> Next update: Thursday (the latest, since I have no idea what I want to do anymore).
> 
> Have a great weekend.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, welcome back!
> 
> I'm having a much better week (if you were wondering), and I hope everyone is enjoying this wonderful updating day.
> 
> Christmas story update: Everything is written (all 36K of it), and I'm in the process of revising it. I'll likely be posting the first part (with four parts total) on December 22nd (which will cause it to finish on Christmas Day, exactly), but we'll see if I decide to change that. Either way, I'll give you another warning as we near the final, set date.
> 
> Back to the story: This chapter is going to make things a bit more interesting in the sense that we'll finally get a few pieces to the puzzle.
> 
> Enjoy.

Emily’s eyes wander back and forth as she alternates between gripping the steering wheel tighter and in a more relaxed manner. She stares at the building ahead — Hanna’s Perth Amboy office. Currently, she's running on little-to-no sleep, thanks to her restlessness the night before, but she managed to get here in one piece.

Sometime around 11 P.M., she and Alison had sleepily bound up the stairs together hand-in-hand. Immediately, the brunette shut off their bedroom lights and they slid into bed, cuddling up on contact with a sweet goodnight kiss. It wasn’t a good night for Emily though — not one bit. Actually, her eyes were shut for ninety percent of the nightly hours, but her thoughts kept them from sealing her into complete darkness. She thought about the things that Spencer had told her, and how the other brunette seemed caught off-guard when she was asked what happened with Aria. Next, Hanna’s face flew into her mind, and how pissed she’s been — good reason or not… it seems  _ deeper _ . Who left Rosewood first, after Emily and Alison had? Who disappeared next? What happened to  _ cause  _ them to leave?

Question upon question nagged Emily endlessly, and she became far past emotionally exhausted around 4 A.M. while the blonde girl next to her tossed and turned. Emily, at the time, wondered if Alison shared some of the rampant thoughts, but the brunette was happy to know that her fiancée was able to sleep soundly — or it seemed, at least. So, when three more half-assed-sleep-filled hours passed by, Emily shook her head and huffed while rolling out of bed and making her way over to the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face and gripped the edges of the counter, looking into the mirror and examining her tired reflection. 

Within minutes, she bit her lip and made her way back into the bedroom to see that Alison was still sleeping, and she smiled at the calm sight. Unfortunately, she knew that the serenity wasn’t going to last long because, although she partially agreed that she wouldn’t go to see Hanna, she  _ needs  _ answers — and she’s going to get them, no matter what.

Quietly, Emily entered her closet and threw on a scrubby outfit consisting of old sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt before throwing her hair into a messy bun without looking in the mirror. Next, she tiptoed over towards the bed and knelt down next to Alison, brushing a few strands of hair out of her eyes and giving her a small kiss on the lips. 

_ “I love you,” the brunette whispers with a gentle smile. _

_ Alison inhales deeply and rubs at her eye with a quiet “I love you too.” _

_ While walking towards the bedroom door, Emily hears a soft “Where are you going?” _

_ She makes her way back to the sleepy girl and kneels down again, offering an excuse. _

_ “I have a few things to take care of,” she sighs. “Go back to sleep. It’s early.” _

_ “Be safe,” Alison’s eyes partially droop but she manages the sentiment, smiling when Emily smiles back.  _

_ “I will,” Emily leans down and kisses her forehead before leaving. _

After walking through the bedroom door, Emily smiled at how Alison is always using the phrases “Be safe” or “Stay safe.” It doesn’t matter where they’re going or how many times they’ve been there; the blonde girl is  _ always  _ making sure that Emily’s safe. It didn’t take long for that smile to turn into a frown, however, because as soon as Emily slid into her car’s front seat, she began to feel extremely guilty. At first, she tried to convince herself that she didn’t blatantly lie, but her conscience quickly scolded her for the excuse — which she deserved to be scolded for. She knew that she had no right to lie because, well, just look at the other night, for example… but she also knew what she had to do: get some answers, for the both of them. 

She continues to stare at the building ahead, though it’s a bit hidden because of the fog formed from the mid-morning rain. For a while, she thinks about heading back home and pretending that she didn’t just attempt to see Hanna alone, but the brunette shakes her head before pushing the driver’s door open. It takes three whole minutes before she’s standing in the office’s lounge with the desk attendant staring at her confusingly.

“I’m sorry, Miss, do you have an appointment?” she smiles at Emily who seems zoned out, staring down the hallway. 

“Huh?” the brunette spins around and then manages a smile. “Oh, no, but I have a few questions for H━Harlow,” she swallows hard when she nearly slips on the name.

“Okay, let me see if she’s busy,” the girl says as she runs around the desk. 

Emily hears a distant knock followed by two muffled voices. She stands there, blinking frequently due to the dryness of her eyes. Really, she wonders if Hanna will  _ know  _ it’s her and pretend she’s busy so the entire trip’s a waste, but that theory is dismissed quickly when the attendant nods at Emily before resuming her former position behind the desk.

“Thanks,” the brunette gets out as she wanders down the hallway. 

Immediately, when she slips through the door, she sees that same blonde girl tapping away on her phone, forehead creased in concentration. She lingers in the doorway, just wringing her hands as she shifts her jaw when Hanna ignores her presence. Suddenly, the other girl looks up and her face falls with an “oh, it’s you” expression, to which Emily rolls her eyes at. The brunette walks in further but doesn’t sit down. 

“I told you that I’d call someti—” the wedding planner tries, but is cut off by a grumpy Emily.

“This isn’t about the wedding.” 

“Well, then, I’m going to have to ask you to leave because I’m too busy for personal issues,” Hanna huffs and raises her eyebrows. 

“What happened between Spencer and Aria?” Emily ignores the request, not giving a crap since Hanna doesn’t seem all that busy, judging from the lack of clients in the lounge and no papers on her desk. 

“What?” the other girl half-whines when Emily doesn’t listen. 

She rubs at her forehead for a brief second and Emily wonders if she’s been getting sleep since their last meet-up because, really, she looks… drained. She’s probably sleeping just fine, Emily then muses, because the girl seemed pretty damn happy with her life beforehand, and their presence most likely didn’t affect the girl worth a damn. 

“Why does Aria seem petrified of Spencer?” 

“I don’t—”

“Don’t you dare say you have no clue because I know you do. I can see it written across your face.”

Hanna shifts her jaw and then rolls her eyes, gesturing for Emily to close the door before she explains. The brunette complies, shutting the door quietly before she sits down across from Hanna with her arms hugging her body. The blonde girl props her elbows up on the desk and rubs at her eye sockets, clearly not prepared for the abrupt 8 A.M. visit. Emily waits, an expectant look written across her face as Hanna finally makes solid eye contact with her for the first time during this visit. 

“Does  _ Vivian  _ know you’re here?” 

“Cut the crap, Hanna, I’m not in the mood. I’m tired and I want to know what happened between everyone.”

“You mean  _ after  _ you abandoned us to be with the girl who abandoned  _ you _ ?”

Emily can see viciousness and a hint of hurt swirling in Hanna’s eyes, so she looks away quickly; she knows that the other girl is trying to make her say “Alison left  _ all of us _ ” in a form of admission, but she refuses to give her the satisfaction — it isn’t Alison’s fault. 

“Are you going to tell me or not?” the brunette asks again, losing patience quickly.

“Why should I?”

The other girl stays silent; she truly doesn’t know why Hanna  _ should  _ tell her, but—

“And how do you know Aria’s afraid of Spencer?” Hanna narrows her eyes.

“Spencer met up with us yesterday,” she explains and the blonde girl rolls her eyes. “Then we went to see Aria at her book signing thingy and she looked like she had seen a ghost… and not in the ‘I haven’t seen you in years’ way.”

“How do you know she wasn’t directing the expression towards you?”

It isn’t an accusation, and Emily hadn’t really thought about it. No, she shakes her head, Aria definitely made that expression when she saw Spencer, specifically — she’s sure of it. 

“No,” Emily gets out, “she saw Spencer, froze up, and left for the day.”

“Mhm,” Hanna hums out in a blunt manner.

Emily waits for something more, but it never comes; Hanna just stares at her, raising her eyebrows slightly when the brunette stays silent. 

“What?” the wedding planner’s eyes widen.

“Tell me what happened!” 

“So now we’re making demands?” Hanna challenges.

“You’re unbelievable,” Emily shakes her head and pushes herself out of the chair. “Forget it.” 

She flings the door open to leave, but is stopped in her tracks when she hears a “Wait,” internally giving herself an impressed nod but turning around with a remaining annoyed expression to face the girl who purses her lips, now standing behind the desk. She motions for Emily to come back into the room and close the door behind her, which she does. 

Emily raises her eyebrows expectantly, and Hanna groans before throwing herself back into the chair. The brunette follows suit, sitting down in her previous position with her arms folded across her stomach. Hanna sits there, opening and closing her mouth when she doesn’t know how to start rehashing what happened — yet not even planning to give Emily any big answers because, really, why should she care? 

“After you skipped town,” the blonde begins in a pointed tone, “a lot of shit went down. Things felt as though they escalated, in a way, but none of us knew if it was just because there were only three girls remaining, or…” she trails off.

Emily pays attention, eyebrows furrowing at the events.

“Then Mona was unmasked, and we thought it was over,” Hanna says, seeming like she had just skipped an entire piece of the story, but the brunette is able to put everything together as she looks down towards her hands, remembering Alison’s nerves skyrocketing once Mona — someone who had originally helped her run away — was revealed to be the tormentor who actually drove her away. 

“We thought that things would finally be… lighter. We actually thought that we could, somehow, find you and Alison and give you hell before bringing you home to bridge some things, but those dreams died when we realized that it wasn’t over,” she laughs bitterly. “Not by a long shot.”

Emily furrows her brows further at the thought of Hanna and the girls actually  _ wanting  _ to bring them home; she guesses that things really do change over time. 

“So,” Hanna continues, “A or whoever-the-fuck they actually were began targeting us again. We thought it was Mona attempting to start over with her little games, but then Spencer found out that Toby was on the A-Team.” 

The brunette’s eyebrows raise at the information, suddenly confused.

“But Spencer is with—” she tries, but Hanna cuts her off with a giant huff.

“Just listen, okay?”

Emily rolls her eyes and leans forward so she can listen more intently. 

“That’s when Aria started seeming super fed-up,” Hanna recalls, “but it wasn’t until we found out that Spencer, herself, was on the A-Team. After that, Aria had some sort of breakdown one morning, told me to get out of her house, and she wasn’t there the next day. I never knew where she went, and Ezra stuck around Rosewood for a while after so I figured he didn’t know… especially after I hounded him for answers yet never got any.”

The other girl sits there, mouth agape at the thought of Spencer being on the A-Team. Hanna can tell what she’s thinking, so she continues.

“Spencer wasn’t really on the A-Team. Neither was Toby. Neither was Mona. Turns out, Spencer went  _ ‘undercover,’ _ ” she air quotes, “to spy on Toby who was also undercover, who was watching Mona who, turns out, was just trying to find out who was being a copycat. Like we were some silly  _ pawns  _ for a damn game board.”

“So, Aria left thinking that Spencer was one of A’s minions?” she questions after a moment of Hanna’s silence.

“Mhm, she left right after that. I don’t believe in coincidences,” she shakes her head and shuts her eyes in a sad manner. “I’m not sure if she ever found out that Spencer wasn’t really a bad apple.” 

In any other circumstance, Emily would laugh at the term “bad apple”; Hanna had (back then) always used the most random terms in the most serious situations which usually helped break the tension. Today, however, she can’t bring herself to even smile at it — and perhaps that’s a good thing since Hanna would, likely, bite her head off.

“Maybe if we talked to Aria—” Emily tries but is  _ very  _ quickly cut off. 

“ _ We _ ? What? No,” the other girl scrambles to get out. “There is no ‘we,’ Emily. There hasn’t been a ‘we’ for years now. The only reason we’re having this conversation is because you’re technically a client and it would be bad business for me to kick you out while making a scene.”

“You might be the only person who she’ll listen to, Hanna,” Emily bites back, and the other girl shakes her head violently while she stands up, moving over towards the door. 

“My name isn’t Hanna, and yours isn’t Emily,” she says as she folds her arms after opening the door for the other girl.

“Look, I know you hate me for—”

“ _ Hate _ you?” the blonde’s eyes bug out and she shuts the door again, creating a pretty big slam.

She advances in Emily’s direction, face practically red with anger when the brunette raises her chin a bit, preparing for whatever Hanna’s about to say or do; honestly, she wouldn’t be shocked if the other girl decided to slap her across the face right here and now.

“No,” Hanna shakes her head, voice hushed, “I don’t hate you. What I  _ do  _ hate is how everyone left me one after another, like I was nothing. Like we weren’t family.”

“You were the last to leave,” Emily breathes out in slight realization, and she swears she can see tears flying into the other girl’s eyes before she turns away.

“I kept telling myself that I should leave before everyone else left me, but I really thought we’d stick together. You were all like sisters to me. The siblings I never had, and God only knows I can’t grant Kate that title,” she laughs bitterly, not bothering to stop any now-dripping tears. 

“You all left,” she sobs, backing up a few steps, “and that’s what I hate. I couldn’t sleep for the longest time, and antidepressants became too expensive when Caleb and I first left. We didn’t have insurance, and I couldn’t afford to  _ talk  _ to someone. I almost turned to the black market,” she shrugs, “but Caleb refused to let me. He said it was dangerous, but I didn’t care anymore.”

“Hanna, I—”

“Don’t,” the blonde girl raises a hand for Emily to stop talking; she doesn’t want any more apologies.

She takes a deep breath and speaks in a new, exhausted tone, “I know you’re trying to piece things together, Em, but you wouldn’t have to do that if you hadn’t left in the first place.”

“I  _ had  _ to,” Emily breathes out incredulously. “I couldn’t just sit around. I was  _ scared _ .”

“We were scared too! We could have been scared  _ together _ ! Fuck, Emily, Mona hit me with a damn car just to prove a point. I was  _ terrified _ ,” Hanna shakes her head hard. “God, we all protected each other so much, but it just fell apart after you left,” she cries. “For  _ Alison _ , nonetheless… someone who had  _ abandoned  _ you.”

“She had to leave, Hanna! Her life was being threatened left and right! Her mom━” Emily stops herself quickly, shaking her head and clearing her throat before continuing. “Did you want her to be  _ seriously  _ murdered?” 

The brunette’s eyes lock with Hanna’s, and they widen when the other girl looks away, shifting her jaw.

“You would rather her be dead? That’s how bitter you are?” she seethes at her former best friend.

When Hanna doesn’t verbally answer, Emily continues, anger bubbling.

“You know, I watched her torment herself for years with guilt. Every damn day, she blamed herself for taking me away from all of you. From my  _ family _ , Hanna. But, really, she didn’t. She gave me an option to stay or go after saving me from nearly  _ dying _ , and I chose to leave with her. I needed answers as to what happened, and I wanted to feel safe, for once.”

“Feel safe in the form of getting laid by someone who used you for petty experiments?” Hanna says before she can stop herself, though her expression doesn’t seem all that regretful. 

Emily takes a big step away from Hanna, keeping some distance between them because, honestly, she wants to strangle the girl right now, but it would be “bad for business” on both of their ends. 

“You’re fucked, Hanna,” Emily grits her teeth.

The blonde girl bites her tongue and raises her chin, watching Emily back up and fling the door open once again. Before the brunette walks out, however, she throws one last statement over her shoulder to the girl that she once shared so much with.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life thinking that things could have been fixed between all of us. Whether it’s with or without you, I’m going to get some answers, and I’m going to make my life with Alison the best I can. I deserve it, no matter what you think, and so does she.” 

She walks out, takes a deep breath when she reaches the lounge, and ignores the desk attendant’s curious (and fearful) expression. With one curt smile, she quickly descends the building’s staircase using the remnants of her adrenaline rush, and, before she knows it, she’s sitting in the front seat of her black car. Wasting no time (and, really, wanting to get home as soon as possible), she starts the vehicle and immediately merges into the little amount of traffic, nearly clipping a fire hydrant on the way into the street.

During her ride home, at least two other vehicles honk at her when she drives carelessly, still using her turn signal but not really giving other people a chance to even see the damn blinking light. At one point, she stops on an old, tucked-away road and takes a breather; she’s still heavily pissed and her exhaustion is mounting by the second. Tears spring into her eyes within a few seconds of thinking, but she blinks them away and refuses to cry in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. Emily looks at the vehicle’s clock and sees that it’s now 10:27 A.M. and Alison’s probably watching TV at the time-being, not having to work until 6 P.M. tonight.

Finally, after three more minutes, she starts the car back up and puts it in reverse, accidentally hitting an abandoned house’s mailbox and grunting at the noise. She slams her eyes shut, keeping the vehicle at a stand-still for a beat before she drives off once again. For the rest of the ride, her thoughts bite at her one after another while her anger returns when she remembers how Hanna practically admitted to wishing that Alison had really died. Truthfully, Emily isn’t sure if the blonde girl had just said it to get a rise out of her (and, boy, did it work), or if she had really meant it. Either way, Emily narrows her eyes; it was fucked up, and she doesn’t even want to tell Alison what was said ━ or about the visit at all.

She finally parks the car in front of their cute little farmhouse, stepping out of the vehicle and slamming the door afterwards. The brunette walks up the steps in a sluggish manner, unlocking the door with her key and pushing the barrier open. All stress resurfaces (not that it really disappeared at all) when she walks into the kitchen to see a furious-looking Alison standing behind the center island, arms crossed as she leans back against the counter and stares at her fiancée who just lingers there with a defensive expression.

“Hanna just called me,” Alison starts in a nonchalant tone. “She told me that she’s been looking at some nice wedding things that she thinks we’ll like, judging from my book.” 

“That’s… good, right?” Emily asks cautiously, walking further into the kitchen and standing directly across from Alison, though the center island still separates them.

“Yeah, I guess,” she shakes her head before she finally looks Emily in the eyes once again. “She apologized for forgetting to show you when you stopped by this morning.”

Emily bites her inner cheek, eyes immediately leaving Alison’s in fear that she’ll become paralyzed. They stand there, silent (while Emily is a bit awkward), and fail to address the elephant in the room until the blonde girl finally takes the bull by the horns. 

“After the shit you threw at me the other night for lying…” she shakes her head with an incredulous look, “you go and do the same.”

“This was totally different, Alison.”

“Bullshit! You’re keeping secrets, just like you specifically told me not to do. What was it that you said?” Alison asks rhetorically. 

“ _ ‘No more secrets. We left those back in New York, and that’s where they’re going to stay,’ _ ” she recalls aloud, and Emily plays with her fingers.

When the other girl doesn’t say anything, Alison continues on her rant.

“I asked you not to go alone, just last night,” she reminds.

“I needed answers! I didn’t sleep at all last night, Ali! I just wanted to know what happened, okay?!”

Alison’s eyes widen and then she shakes her head, clenching her jaw as Emily stands there, fists balled. Suddenly, before the other girl has a chance to breathe, Alison walks towards her and plants the most gentle kiss on her cheek before she mumbles, “I hope you got the answers you were so desperately searching for,” with a betrayed expression, backing up afterwards and making her way upstairs.

Emily hears their bedroom door slam and lock, which causes her eyes to water more than when she was in the car. She knew this would happen, but she didn’t think that it’d be this soon, nor did she realize that Hanna would call Alison and rat her out. She should’ve expected it, Emily muses to herself, especially because of what she said to Hanna before she walked out. Honestly, she doesn’t blame Alison for being upset; she knows that she’s been extremely hypocritical when it comes to secrets and lying — take today’s events for example.

The brunette sighs and rubs at her head as she walks over to the fridge and grabs a water bottle. After, she makes her way into the first floor bathroom and pops a few capsules of Tylenol into her mouth, downing the pills with some water. She shakes her head and grimaces at the feeling she gets when her head starts to pound. In the end, Emily decides that it’s best if she tries to take a nap since Alison likely won’t be downstairs until she has to leave for work. Walking into the living room, she snatches a blanket off of the armrest and drapes it over her lower half once she’s lying down. It isn’t a comfy situation ━ being on the couch after a rough night’s sleep ━ but, soon, the world fades as slumber consumes her quickly — and likely because she finally feels as though she has some answers.

 

X X X

 

Emily wakes up at about 6:30 P.M., courtesy of an A-infused nightmare. She panics, hoping her subconscious isn’t going to begin to torture her like it used to. Quickly, the brunette runs to the bathroom and splashes some cold water on her face, gasping at the sensation at first. It takes a few minutes for her to gather her bearings, but she does, and she walks over to the kitchen moments later so she can eat and work a bit. 

Around an hour ago, Alison had left for work. She woke Emily up before she left, thankfully, with a gentle kiss goodbye and an unreadable  _ “I’m going to work. Sleep tight.”  _ The brunette, at the time, tried to get out an apology but only got as far as  _ “Ali—”  _ before the other girl cut her off with an _ “I’ll be back around nine.” _ After that, she left as the front door shut and Emily’s sleepiness took over again, sucking her back into an unwanted dream-world. 

Currently, she doesn’t know if she’s feeling more sick over the nightmare or the fact that Alison’s still angry with her, even if the blonde girl has gotten better at moving past things. Honestly, it feels as though their relationship is slipping so much lately and it makes her want to throw up, but they’re both extremely loyal and, well, in love. Either way, there are things that they need to talk about — and  _ fast _ ; she refuses to go down a rough path with Alison, especially since they were so close to making such a huge commitment.  

As she prepares herself a bowl of cereal, the portable house phone begins to ring on the countertop next to her. She frowns at the random number, but answers anyway. 

“Hello?” she questions once she’s swallowed a bite of cereal. 

_ “Hey, um,” _ Hanna’s voice comes through the speaker,  _ “yeah, hi.”  _

“Sorry, if you’re looking for Alison then you’ll have to try her cell phone,” Emily says bluntly. 

_ “No, I was looking for you, Em.” _

“Wow, I’m shocked,” her eyebrows raise and she can practically hear the other girl rolling her eyes.

_ “I wanted to apologize for… calling Alison before. I didn’t mean to cause trouble,”  _ she explains and Emily is about to blow a gasket when the other girl continues,  _ “okay, yes I did, but I feel bad.” _

“Mhm,” is the hummed response while Emily takes another bite of cereal. “Is that it?”

_ “No,” _ she breathes out.  _ “I’ve been thinking… I’m not happy, okay? But, regardless, you’re not the only one who wants answers, so I’ll go with you to see Aria.” _

The brunette stands there, mildly surprised by the call yet not all that shocked since she could see the curiosity swirling in the blonde girl’s eyes when she heard what happened at Aria’s book signing. She hears a door creak in the background, and that’s when Hanna speaks again. 

_ “I’m not going with Spencer or Alison, though,” _ she continues with a hesitant tone.  _ “If Spencer goes, she’ll scare Aria away and, I’ll be honest with you, I won’t be able to keep my cool if Alison’s there.” _

Emily nods to herself, though she doesn’t really know how she’s going to explain this to Alison.

_ “Are you still there?”  _

“Yeah, I’m here,” Emily clears her throat. “Okay. I’ll have to talk to Alison when she gets home,” she breathes out while running a hand through her hair.

_ “Did she leave because of…”  _ Hanna’s voice trails off and her tone sounds heavy with regret which, at the moment, Emily revels in. Good, she thinks, Hanna deserves to feel bad.

“No,” Emily tells the truth, “she had to work.” 

_ “Oh, okay, um… that’s good, then.” _

“I guess,” comes the half-assed response.

_ “So… tomorrow night? We could meet at my office,”  _ Hanna suggests.

“Sure.”

_ “Goodnight.” _

“Night.”

She clicks the button to end the call and places the device back in its former place. Leaning her backside against the counter, she continues to eat her cereal while thinking. The girl finishes her “dinner” within seven minutes and she looks at the time: 7:09 P.M.

Grunting, she throws herself into a kitchen chair and logs onto her laptop, smiling gently when she sees her laptop’s background: a more-recent, happy selfie of her and Alison, taken just a few days after they moved into the house.

_ “Come on,” the blonde girl pouts. “One picture.”  _

_ “No, Ali, I look like shit.” _

_ “We both look terrible,” Alison corrects. “Please.”  _

_ “Why? I’m going to see this picture years from now and only remember the circumstances surrounding it.” _

_ Alison looks around the room, noting their scattered clothes strewn all along the floor. She chuckles at the sight before turning back towards Emily who wears a pointed expression — and nothing else.  _

_ “You know I won’t stop asking until you agree,” she smirks while the brunette rolls her eyes.  _

_ “Yeah, I know that,” she groans. “Fine, okay.”  _

_ “You love me.” _

_ “I do.” _

After that, the blonde girl had snatched her phone off of one of the bedside tables and angled it precisely, making sure to get their smiling faces and nothing else (aside from the bunched up sheets).

It takes a while for her to zone back into reality but, eventually, she does. However, before Emily can work on her business documents for more than forty minutes, she hears the front door unlock and open, followed by the sight of Alison walking into the kitchen and throwing her bag onto the island. The brunette looks at the time and notices that Alison’s home almost an hour and a half early, afterwards staring at the other girl who stands there, hands rubbing at her face.

“Why are you home so early?” she asks as she stands up and walks over to the blonde.

“I didn’t feel well,” Alison shakes her head and sniffles a little, looking up afterwards. “I just went there so I could tape a note to the door so everyone would know it’s a day off.”

Emily gives the other girl a sad smile and timidly moves closer, feeling relieved when Alison accepts the comfort and pulls Emily’s arms around her so she can feel better.

“Ali, I want to be honest with you,” the brunette shifts her jaw against the other girl’s temple while they embrace.

“Mhm.”

“Hanna called while you were gone,” she confesses, but Alison doesn’t react at all.

It takes a moment for the other girl to respond, but, eventually, she does, breathing out a sigh and taking a step back.

“I know she did.”

Emily’s eyes narrow in confusion, and Alison explains.

“I was with her. I walked in when she was in the middle of calling you.”

“I thought you went to work,” the brunette rubs at her head when it begins to hurt again.

“I did, but then I went to her office because I needed to know what you two discussed.”

“Alison, I would have told you but you stormed off before,” Emily’s voice is tired, and she sits back down on her previous chair. 

“It was a spur-the-moment trip, Emily. Even I didn’t know I was going to go there, but I did.”

“So, you heard our entire conversation?” 

“Mhm,” the blonde girl sits down adjacent from her fiancée at the table. “Honestly, I wanted to see if you’d tell me or not.”

The brunette props her elbows onto the table and buries her face in her hands as she rubs at her eyelids; so much for trust, right? 

“We need to stop this, Ali. I can’t stand tiptoeing around each other. We’re supposed to…  _ trust _ . And I’m not just saying this because of today, but because of how things have been lately, for both of us,” she looks at the other girl who bites her bottom lip.

“I know,” she agrees. “Em, it’s not that I don’t trust you, but I know how you get when you really need an answer for something. You’re very persistent.”

The corner of Emily’s mouth twitches into a small smile, but it fades quickly. 

“If you want answers so badly, we can find them together,” Alison concludes. 

“Okay,” the other girl whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s over with. Let’s just… move on, please.”

“Mhm,” she pauses before speaking again. “How did your visit with Hanna go?”

Alison shakes her head and looks down, not giving a solid answer.

“That bad?”

“She just… I don’t know,” the girl takes a deep breath. “There wasn’t any yelling, but I just got the information I needed and walked out. I didn’t feel like hearing what else she had to say. Not tonight. I’m too tired.”

A few, silent minutes pass between the two and, sometime during, Alison grabs for the other girl’s hand, playing with her fingers as they lounge at the breakfast table. Her mood seems lighter than it did a few moments ago ━ well, in a less-angry way ━ but her eyes drift downwards constantly and Emily watches her expression carefully.

“When I was coming home…” the blonde girl’s voice fades out for a beat, “I felt like I was being watched. At the college, I mean. It felt eerily similar to how it used to,” she laughs sadly, and Emily notices a tear rolling down the girl’s cheek. 

“I don’t think it was anything, but it just brought the feeling back and all I could think about was how much I wish I was home with you,” she confesses.

“Come here,” Emily’s voice is gentle and Alison complies, sitting on the other girl’s lap as she curls up.

“You make me feel safe,” the other girl swallows hard and presses a kiss to Emily’s temple.

“Good. I’m right here,” the brunette’s arms tighten around the girl she’s loved for years, and she’s granted a soft kiss. “Forever,” she finishes while pulling Alison impossibly closer, determined to make the girl feel as safe as possible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alison: Emily no.  
> Emily: Emily yes.  
> ━ A.K.A. this chapter
> 
> Emily and Alison really need to get on the same page. I told ya'll that these two would be thrown for a loop, and, well… their entire life together has been tossed off balance. It's unfortunate, but it'll get even rockier. Honestly, a few of you pointed out that Emily seems to forgive Alison pretty quickly, and you couldn't be more correct. Both of these girls hate confrontation when their relationship is at stake nowadays, more so because they've been glued together for so many years that they believe their relationship can withstand anything as long as they don't argue about "little things." Obviously, that's a crappy tactic in any relationship, especially when you throw in the fact that they've been taking a lot for granted ━ like each other's trust.
> 
> This chapter probably held my favorite Hannily altercation. Don't get me wrong, there are a few more vicious Hannily confrontations, but the whole "You're fucked, Hanna" gets me everytime.
> 
> I'm curious: do any of you think that Hanna's hostility is warranted, or do you think she's completely out of line at this point? She's gone through the wringer (actually, they all have and/or will), and this entire thing caused her to fall into a deep depression, but obviously that's not an excuse for her behavior. So, tell me in your reviews. Also, what did you think about the Sparia story? How do you think Aria will react to Hannily's visit (which happens in a few chapters)? And what about Emison's constant lying?
> 
> I know these chapters may (or may not?) be getting a bit stressful, so I'm happy to say that Ch 8 is just the right amount of fluffiness to help you recuperate. It's all domestic Emison, and you're welcome for that. Also, no immediate spoilers here, but remember that this story is rated M, so I implore you not to read with family members in the room because #no.
> 
> Next update: Tuesday (the latest).
> 
> Have a nice remaining week/beginning of next week.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, once again━ *music notes*
> 
> I would've posted yesterday, but I had a check up today, so I figured I'd wait until after because your remarks cheer me up (if need be). All went well, though, so we're good.
> 
> Okay, you probably came for some fluffy, so here's some fluffy.

The brunette’s eyes scan the small clock situated in the bottom corner of her laptop’s screen for what’s probably the thirtieth time in the last forty-five minutes. At the moment, it’s 3:12 P.M. and she’s been sitting in the master bedroom’s reading nook for what feels like hours (and maybe it  _ has  _ been, but she’s lost track, honestly), typing away at her business’ documents. Really, with the way things have been going for her little down-the-road bar, she doesn’t exactly need to touch any numbers for the next three months but, for future purposes, she finds it useful to make some predictions every now and then. Heck, what if something fell through? Sure, Alison’s job could carry them for a bit but, as Emily’s brown eyes dart around the room, all of the expenses float around in her head — yet, again, it’s for no reason. She sighs and rubs at her left temple before her eyes flicker towards the foot of the bed, the pillow-half being hidden behind a closet’s wall.

Alison chokes out a small cough from the same area where Emily’s gaze travels and the brunette flashes a sad smile to no one in particular; the blonde girl had gotten pretty sick overnight, but not too  _ too  _ bad, and Emily had made sure to tend to her every need for the past ten hours or so. 

Once the two had stopped cuddling at the kitchen table the night prior, Alison stood up and nearly tumbled over, but of course Emily helped sturdy the other girl and assisted her in walking upstairs. When they arrived at the landing, the blonde shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut, grimacing when her head began to pound. 

_ “Let’s get you to bed, baby,” Emily continues to help the other girl towards their large, freshly made mattress — probably a result from the blonde’s tantrum hours prior. _

_ “I didn’t feel this shitty a few minutes ago. What’s happening?” she whined as the brunette gathered her some pajamas.  _

_ “You were probably too distracted to really notice it, Ali. It’s happened before, remember?” Emily reminds the other girl once she throws a pile of shorts and a t-shirt onto the bed, followed by one of her own soft hoodies (which is also one of Alison’s favorites).  _

_ “I hate it,” comes Alison’s response as she puts on the new clothes, Emily watching her every move.  _

_ “I know you do. I do too.” _

Years beforehand, Alison had gotten pretty sick to the point where Emily nearly forced the other girl into a hospital bed, but she never did due to the blonde girl’s excessive begging and tear-filled eyes. Instead, Emily learned how to take care of a sick Alison during that period of time, making sure to mentally note what she loves, what she can’t stand, and (most importantly) what helps. In the end, that week-long sickness helped, really, because now the brunette knows how her fiancée likes to dress when she’s feeling gross, what she can hold down food-wise, and how often she should sleep. 

So, when the blonde girl finally laid down, Emily tucked her in and sat on the edge of the bed, just studying her lover’s face as the girl looked back at her.

_ “What’s hurting?”  _

_ “My throat, kind of,” she sniffles hard, “my head, I feel achy, and my stomach feels weird.” _

_ “Like… throw up weird, or…?” Emily tries to get more of an answer. _

_ “No, I don’t think so.” _

_ “Do you think you’re hungry?”  _

_ “Maybe,” Alison shrugs a little, trying to prop herself up on another pillow.  _

_ “I’ll go and make you some soup,” she gets up and hears the other girl chuckle behind her. _

_ “Em, it’s eight-thirty. I’ll be fine.” _

_ “I don’t care if it’s four in the morning, Alison. You need to eat something.” _

_ “Fine,” she relents, knowing that the brunette won’t be satisfied until she gets some food in her system. _

After Alison had eaten her late-night dinner (which seemed to make her pretty drowsy), she cuddled up again, wrapping herself in a number of blankets while the other girl went back downstairs to clean. When Emily returned, she went into her closet and shed herself of the day’s clothes, making sure to only wear a bra and a small pair of shorts since that’s been her go-to for when Alison’s sick; when she’s sick, the blonde girl can’t seem to keep her own body temperature steady, and it helps to be skin-on-skin with Emily since her skin provides a constant warmth. 

Next, Emily exited the closet and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed, eventually making her way back into the bedroom and lifting up the sheets so she could slide over towards the other girl’s body. Alison, immediately, blinked a few times, zoned back into reality (having been daydreaming for the last ten or so minutes), and turned over so Emily could spoon her. As the brunette’s warm body pressed against her back, she sighed happily, though the sound got stuck in her throat due to feeling stuffy. Emily, loving the feeling, craned her neck sideways and kissed Alison’s neck once, whispering a small  _ “I love you” _ before relaxing back and hugging her fiancée tighter.

_ “I love you too, Em,” Alison whispers. “Thank you for taking care of me,” she clears her throat. _

_ “Always.” _

A few minutes passed as Alison struggled to sleep while Emily forced herself to stay awake so she could take care of the other girl if need be. During those minutes, the blonde girl grew antsy and, randomly, felt like crying because of the sensation in her head, but she refused — she’s dealt with much worse. After about ten more minutes, her stomach started feeling weird again, and she laced her fingers with Emily’s as she guided them to her upper stomach area. The brunette, feeling her hand moving, quickly got the hint and began rubbing small circles on the other girl’s skin — something she’s done time and time again when Alison began feeling shitty. As she continued, the blonde girl’s breathing began to quicken but eventually steadied, signifying that she had finally fallen asleep as Emily continued to make the girl’s stomach feel better. 

It didn’t take long, however, for her to join Alison in slumber, and she woke up to the blonde girl practically coughing up a lung at 7 A.M.

_ “Ali, I’m going to the store to buy you some medicine, okay? We’re all out,” Emily kneels at the girl’s bedside, studying her pink nose and flushed cheeks.  _

_ “Okay,” she gets out, clearing her throat afterwards, “I’ll be here.”  _

_ The brunette chuckles at the statement, smiling softly and placing a gentle kiss on the other girl’s forehead before backing away. _

_ “Be safe,” Alison gets out before Emily disappears.  _

Once Emily made it home, she toasted some bread and brought Alison some juice on the side. The blonde was grateful and did her best to sit up on her own, however needed a bit of help in the end because she hadn’t moved in hours. Eventually, she finished the food and most of her juice, easily swallowing the medicine before Emily made her lay back down. After the sick girl was situated and snuggled back into bed, the brunette looked around and, soon, shuffled over towards the reading area to grab a large, plush elephant that she had bought for the other girl years prior;  _ “Just in case you ever get lonely while I’m out somewhere,”  _ she smiled shyly at the time, earning a kiss on the cheek from Alison.

After that, the blonde girl was on and off when it came to resting and/or sleeping, and Emily has been visiting her periodically between work spreadsheets.

Currently, the girl looks much better than she had earlier in the day, and her face looks its normal, light shade. Her hair is put up in a messy bun, and her lips are chapped, but Emily smiles at the sight as she approaches further.

“How are you feeling?” she whispers once she’s made her way over to Alison’s bedside. 

“Pretty shitty,” comes the honest answer, “but _ a lot _ better than this morning.”

“You’ll probably feel crappy every time you wake up,” she brushes a stray hair out of the blonde’s face.

“Great.”

Emily breathes out a slight chuckle while Alison rubs at her eyes, rolling over onto her back and facing the ceiling before she speaks again. 

“I want to shower.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Ali? You could barely walk last time you were up.”

“Maybe it’ll make me feel better.”

The brunette swallows hard and looks around, nervous due to the other girl’s weak state. As if she’s reading Emily’s thoughts, Alison speaks again, rolling over to face her fiancée who kneels by the bed. 

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“Shower with me.”

Emily raises an eyebrow at her fiancéee’s carefree expression.

“So you can keep an eye on me and make sure I don’t collapse,” she drawls, though a small smirk forms at the corner of her lips and Emily rolls her eyes.

“Fine,” she breathes out and gets up so she can help Alison out of bed, “but no funny business.”

“I take showers with you  _ very  _ seriously,” comes the lustful response, her eyes focusing on the brunette’s lips once they’re standing face to face.

“I’m glad someone seems to be feeling better,” again, Emily rolls her eyes playfully and brings the other girl into their bathroom. 

Midday sun shines through the shower’s skylight, cascading a bright light onto the light-brown tiles and floor. The room is warm, but not too hot, and Alison immediately undresses as Emily fiddles with the shower’s settings. In the end, she chooses a manageable level for Alison’s sake ━ not steaming, but hot enough to fix the low fever that’s come and gone sporadically ━ and takes off her own clothes soon after. As she undresses, Alison’s arms wrap around her waist from behind and she feels a small peck on her shoulder.

“Come on,” Emily grabs her hand and opens the glass door for the other girl.

Alison slightly hisses when the water hits her skin for the first time but, soon, sighs happily and begins to go about her normal shower routine. It takes her much longer than usual because of her sore body and, meanwhile, Emily watches her in case she needs any sort of help but, for the most part, she manages. On the other hand, the brunette washes her own hair and cleans herself up in order to prepare for the rest of the day, though she’s a bit nervous and doesn’t really want to leave Alison alone since she’s been pretty sick. What if she gets worse while she’s—

All thoughts disappear when the blonde’s lips press against hers with a passion that hadn’t even remotely appeared in days; before now, it had been desperate. She melts into the kiss, her hands cupping Alison’s jaw as their tongues fight for dominance but, soon after, she remembers the moment’s circumstances and does her best to back up in order to separate them.

“I’m sorry,” comes Alison’s sheepish admission as she touches her fingertips to her lips. “I don’t want to get you sick.”

“That’s not it, Ali,” she comforts the other girl while pulling her away from the showerhead.

“No, I know you’re worried about me, but  _ I’m  _ worried that I’m going to get you sick. I totally forgot,” Alison shakes her head.

“You and I both know that I have the immune system of a boulder.”

The other girl breathes out a laugh, “Yeah, lucky you.”

Alison’s gaze flickers between the girl’s lips and her eyes as she bites her own bottom lip, eventually forcing herself to look away and turn the shower off. Emily studies her fiancée’s movements and body language, looking a lot like she’s pretty reserved at the moment. Once Alison exits through the glass door, Emily follows and dries herself off with a nearby towel, wringing her hair slightly before wrapping the item around her body. Alison, nearby, practically does the same, except the white towel hangs off of her body as she leaves the bathroom.

“I’m going to change the bedsheets for you. Just give me a minute,” Emily peeks her head out of the bathroom and earns the response “You really don’t need to do that” from the girl who sits at the edge of the bed.

“I’m still going to do it whether you say I need to or not,” she sasses and Alison arches an eyebrow. 

“Em, I know you’re just dancing around the fact that you’re going out with Hanna tonight,” the blonde tilts her head when the other girl exits the bathroom. “It’s fine. I’ve already accepted that you’re going. Just keep me updated.”

“That’s not—”

Alison narrows her eyes and dares Emily to try and lie to her.

The brunette sighs, “Okay. I just wish I didn’t have to leave you alone. I don’t get why Hanna can’t just suck it up and be civil with both of us.”

“In all honesty… I don’t think I’d forgive me if I were in her position, either.”

“Why not?” Emily walks into her closet and quickly throws on some clothes before Alison answers. 

“Because I really did just… leave,” she shrugs, playing with a thread attached to the loose-sitting towel. “You’ve forgiven me, yeah, but I was only gone for a year before we came face to face again. With Hanna… it’s been a while, Em.”

“Then how come she’s willing to work with me? I’ve been gone for a while too.”

“You and Hanna always had a better relationship than, well, most of us did. You two were practically inseparable and, honestly, I was jealous of it. Hanna and I…” her voice trails off. “I don’t know. We didn’t have the most stable friendship. I didn’t even treat it like a friendship, and I really wish I had.”

Emily nods her head slowly, crossing her arms as she leans against her closet’s door frame. Though the words flow through her mind, she still isn’t all that happy with Hanna for blatantly excluding Alison from tonight’s “mission,” and she wishes that they could all just sit down and talk for once.

“I don’t think she’s mad at me for leaving. I think she’s pissed at me for everything that happened beforehand, and for how selfish I’ve always been,” Alison confesses when her eyes lock with the other girl’s.

“You’re not selfish, Ali.” 

“I was.”

“Past tense,” Emily stands her ground.

Alison raises her eyebrows and remains staring at her fiancée who, now, huffs and walks back into her closet. When she returns, she’s carrying a bundle of bedding items so she can change the sheets and pillowcases. The blonde gets up and walks over to the reading area, carefully sitting down with the towel still (partly) wrapped around her body. She waits for Emily to be done making the bed which ends up only taking about twelve minutes in total, then watches the brunette carry the discarded bedding into the bathroom — well, into their small laundry area. Emily returns a few moments later and stands at the foot of the bed so she can admire her own work. Alison, on the other hand, makes her way across the room and stands in front of the other girl, blocking her view.

When Emily locks eyes with her, she moves forward and latches her lips onto the brunette’s in a timid fashion; she really  _ doesn’t  _ want to get the other girl sick but, at this point, her needs are starting to overpower her wants.

“Ali,” Emily gently scolds as she tries to put some distance between them, “you need rest.”

“Mm, no, I think I’m feeling better,” Alison slowly turns them around and pushes the other girl onto their bed with her free hand.

Emily resists and sits up as soon as her back hits the mattress, determined to  _ not  _ let her mind (or hands) wander. Alison, in response, gently pushes her back down again (though Emily props herself up on her elbows), drops her towel onto the floor, and places her hands on the other girl’s knees, spreading them apart a bit. The blonde takes another step forward and stands between Emily’s legs while her hands slide up the girl’s thighs, bending over slightly. 

“Alison,” Emily’s stern tone fades and turns into a soft plea, though the end of it is cut off with a gentle kiss. 

“What, baby?” Alison coos and bats her eyelashes before reconnecting their lips and deepening the kiss quickly.

She pushes the brunette backwards once more, leaning over the girl’s body and, eventually, lying partially on top of her. Emily returns the heated kiss and revels in the feeling of her lover’s body being pressed against her own, though she’s still attempting to control the situation which, currently, isn’t working all too well. In the end, it takes every ounce of strength, but Emily finally plants one last, warm kiss to Alison’s mouth, and manages to shimmy out from beneath the girl.

“Where are you going?” the blonde girl whines at her fiancée who keeps a good amount of distance between them.

“Nowhere,” she answers, “but  _ you’re _ going to rest.”

When Alison looks as if she’s having an internal debate, Emily rolls her eyes.

“I mean it, Ali. Just one more day,  _ or  _ until you feel better.”

“I already told you that I feel better,” she frowns, slightly covering herself up with her hands.

“And I don’t believe that,” Emily raises a challenging eyebrow and Alison mimics her eye-roll.

“Don’t you think that a workout would be good for me?” the blonde smirks when she sees the girl’s eyes widen before she looks around the room as if she’s trying to focus on something else. 

“I—I don’t…” she stutters and Alison’s smirk grows.

“Come on,” the other girl gets up and erases some of the distance between their bodies.

Emily swallows hard and can’t move for whatever reason; she just stands there, stunned, as the other girl approaches with a now-innocent-looking smile — even though it’s anything  _ but  _ innocent.

“I promise I’ll rest after,” she whispers while she studies the brunette’s love-drunk expression.

Once Alison places a super gentle (and practically unnoticeable) kiss on the corner of her lips, Emily almost melts onto the floor. Realistically, however, her breathing becomes shaky and the blonde smiles at the sound as she begins to dot soft kisses down the other girl’s jaw and neck. Emily lets a small moan slip and Alison smirks against the girl’s tanned skin, only encouraging her to continue her ministrations. As she slides her hands underneath Emily’s shirt, her fingertips graze her lover’s skin and she, herself, almost moans at the contact.

Almost on cue, as Alison is about to pull her fiancée back over towards the bed, Emily’s phone begins to ring nearby and they both breathe out a groan — both due to being interrupted by the call, but Alison’s in a more-irritated manner. Within seconds, the brunette is moving towards the phone and hesitating when she sees Hanna’s office number dancing on the screen, however she eventually taps the small, green phone and answers with a sturdy (well, for the most part) and casual “Hey.”

_ “Hi, um… are we still going to try and see Aria tonight?” _ Hanna’s voice comes through the speaker.

Emily’s eyes flicker to the nearby bookcase and then back down towards the floor; she doesn’t really want to leave Alison (and, no, it’s not because of what almost transpired), but she  _ really  _ wants to know what’s up with Aria so, maybe, things can get better. She swallows hard before attempting to answer and, when she’s about to, she feels a pair of lips on the side of her neck which delays the response even further. 

_ “Hello?”  _ the girl’s impatient tone snaps Emily’s mind back to the call. 

“Mm, yeah, uh—m, sorry,” she speaks as she tries to move away from the other girl who, currently, is practically latched onto her back. “We are, if that’s okay.”

_ “Yeah, it’s fine. I was just making sure.” _

“Mhm,” she squeaks out the reply when Alison bites down on her neck.

Really, even though she’s trying to get away from the other girl, it doesn’t help that she’s tilting her neck a bit so that area is exposed. It’s a natural reaction, she internally rolls her eyes at the excuse because she should know better by now.

_ “Do you want to stop by around six? Would that work? I think it’s best if we don’t corner her at the book signing, so we should probably wait until she’s back in her hotel room,”  _ Hanna explains in a dull tone. 

“Y—yeah that sounds good,” Emily grits her teeth when Alison kisses behind her ear, pressing her front against the brunette’s back and dragging her nails underneath the girl’s shirt.

_ “Um…” _ Hanna drawls even though Emily wants to hang up as soon as possible,  _ “I think that’s it.” _

“Okay,” is the only word that’ll come out easily, and she hangs up right after Hanna mutters a quick  _ “Goodbye.”  _

Once the call has ended, Emily spins around to face the naked girl who’s spent the last however-many minutes torturing her. Her lips part slightly when nothing comes out, and Alison stands there, head tilted with a smirk gracing her features. 

“I  _ hate  _ when you do that,” she groans and the other girl raises a challenging eyebrow. 

“Oh really?” the blonde approaches slowly, once again closing the gap between them.

“You know what I mean, Ali,” Emily speaks again, backing up. 

“What do you hate most about it?” she dares the brunette to answer. “How you can’t seem to focus when I’m kissing your neck? Or… how you can’t just hang up and listen to me moan your name, instead?” 

Within seconds, her lips are moving against the other girl’s jaw like before, and, on contact, Emily breathes out a shaky whimper. Alison continues to move along her fiancée’s jawline, neck, and throat, occasionally nipping at the skin and, afterwards, soothing it with her tongue and lips. The brunette, at one point, almost stumbles backwards, but she manages to hold herself up. When Alison notices this, she drags her tongue all the way up Emily’s neck and elicits a fresh, sharp moan from her throat, causing her to smirk when she takes a step back. Emily’s eyes flutter open eventually, and they focus on the girl who bites her bottom lip as she stands at arm’s length away.

It takes a few beats for Emily to completely zone back into reality, but she does and,  _ when  _ she does, she kisses Alison hard. Unfortunately for the blonde, once she kisses back and pulls Emily towards the bed, the brunette untangles their bodies and takes a few steps backwards with a pointed look. 

“Em,” the blonde whines much like before, “stop teasing.”

“ _ Me _ ?” Emily breathes out incredulously, an accusatory and amused smile growing.

“Yes,” Alison pouts as she sits on the edge of the bed, folding her arms across her bare chest as she crosses her legs. 

The other girl rolls her eyes at Alison’s pouting lip and crossed arms. She debates on walking away so her fiancée can cool off further, but instead ends up walking towards her and lifting the girl’s chin with two fingers. 

“Okay, how about…” Emily leans down and kisses Alison’s lips once, afterwards lingering only an inch away, “you rest some more while I’m gone, and then you have me all to yourself tonight.”

Before the blonde can respond, Emily speaks again, her voice holding a gentle warning.

“That’s if and  _ only  _ if you feel okay.”

Once again, before Alison can get a word in edgewise, the other girl comes up with yet another stern warning. 

“And no lying to me. If you feel gross when I get home, you tell me, Alison,” her eyes narrow. “Deal?” 

Alison narrows her eyes but agrees, nodding her head gently and reconnecting their lips again. She attempts to deepen the kiss and pull Emily on top of her but, as she leans backwards, the brunette backs up and tilts her head with her eyes looking accusatory even more than before.

“Okay,  _ okay _ !” the blonde huffs, returning to her pouting-lip and crossed-arm position. 

She feels a new batch of chills hitting her skin, causing her to make a distressed face — which Emily catches onto immediately.

“Ali, put some pajamas on and lie down. I can see you shivering from here,” she gives the other girl a concerned look from where she stands near the wall, a few feet of distance between them as Alison still sits on the edge of the bed. 

“I hate this,” her voice sounds whiny and, usually, the brunette would snicker at the tone but she’s all too aware of how shitty the other girl’s been feeling, so she offers a sympathetic smile before making her way into Alison’s closet. 

Alison’s eyes watch the other girl as she walks away, a soft smile covering her features when she realizes that Emily’s hellbent on taking care of her no matter what — she always has been, actually, and Alison admires that; she’s more than thankful for Emily’s protective instincts. The brunette searches through her fiancée’s closet for a pair of fuzzy pajamas, though she knows Alison loathes the outfit. When she exits, a “you know you have to” smile covers her features, and Alison’s eyes immediately widen with a “there’s no way in hell” head shake. 

“You need to sweat this fever out, Alison.”

“First of all, I’m not even sure if I have a fever or not, and secondly… I already told you that we could…” the blonde’s voice takes on that same, fake-innocent tone, fading towards the end when she sees Emily rolling her eyes a bit impatiently. 

Once the brunette’s stern gaze doesn't let up, Alison huffs again, finally relenting and snatching the pair of black and white, polka dot, fuzzy pajamas out of her hand and earning an “I love you so much,” causing Alison to roll her eyes with a “Yeah, sure you do.” Emily watches Alison hop around as she slides on the pajama pants, followed by fastening the plastic buttons of the long-sleeve top. She nods happily once the blonde is finished, walking over to her and gently pulling her in by the hips. 

“Thank you,” Emily whispers as she pecks Alison on the lips. 

“Mhm,” the other girl bitterly hums against her lover’s mouth.

“Really, Ali. I just want you to get better.”

She sighs, “I know you do. I’m sorry I’m such a pain.”

“At least you admit it,” Emily smiles and tries to kiss Alison again, though the blonde backs up with raised eyebrows. 

When the brunette attempts to connect their lips again, Alison moves back once more so Emily is practically hunched over her, an arm holding them both up as the blonde tries to get away. 

“See… you’re a pain,” Emily laughs and Alison swats at the back of her head, earning a soft “Ow.”

The other girl smirks, “You’re no better, you know,” her smirk turns into a smile and she finally lets Emily kiss her, deepening the lip-lock quickly with a train of slow-moving pecks and, eventually, sliding her tongue into the other girl’s mouth. When Emily pulls back, she laughs softly, muttering a small “I thought you didn’t want me to get sick?”

“As long as you don’t die, I think I’ll be fine.”

This makes Emily laugh harder, straightening their bodies with raised eyebrows at the statement. Within seconds, she looks around the room and remembers that she should be leaving to meet Hanna at her office soon, causing her to slightly frown until it morphs into an apologetic smile. 

“Time to go?” Alison mimics the smile, rubbing at her lover’s arm.

“Yeah, I probably should get going. Who knows what Hanna will do or say if I’m late. I’m already on thin ice,” her eyes bug as she looks towards the floor.

“Okay,” comes the whisper before their lips are moving together once again.

“Rest while I’m gone. Please,” the brunette whispers before she takes a step back.

“I will,” she sighs, giving the other girl a soft head nod. 

“Call me if you need anything, and I’ll keep you updated on where we are.”

“Thank you, again,” another kiss is shared between the two. “Don’t let Hanna push you around, Em. No matter what happened, you don’t deserve that.”

Emily swallows and then backs up, offering a quiet “I know” before she gives the other girl another goodbye. She turns towards the door and walks out, hearing a faint “Stay safe” when she steps onto the first stair, smiling at the sentiment. 

Really, she has no idea what to expect from this visit — not from Hanna and not from Aria. It makes her stomach feel frantic with nerves, honestly, and judging by the look on Alison’s face before leaving, the blonde is just as nervous. Emily can only hope that her fiancée gets some solid rest while she’s gone since anxiety probably won’t help Alison’s health in the long-run. So, when she fastens her seatbelt once she’s situated in her car’s front seat, she sends Alison a single text before speeding off towards Hanna’s office:

_ “I love you and I’ll be careful. Don’t worry.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love fluff. Drown me in it.
> 
> Really hoping ya'll enjoyed this update, because Ch 9 brings us back to our angsty, drama-infused storylines (with a steamy tidbit, oops), and we'll finally come face to face with Aria ━ well, Marie A. Fitz.
> 
> So, a lot of you actually reviewed with your opinions on Hanna's point of view/words. I like that. Keep sending me opinions because everyone has a solid point, and I love hearing your standpoints. With that being said, I have another question for you:
> 
> What's your take on things? Do you think Hanna is more angry about Alison leaving, or what happened beforehand? Remember, this story follows canon events until 2x12.
> 
> I'm happy to let you know that this chapter is part of a double-update, meaning that Ch 9 will be posted earlier than my normal schedule.
> 
> Next update: Sunday (the latest).
> 
> After that, unfortunately, I timed these updates crappily (yes, it's a word for the sake of this note), so I'll likely be posting Ch 10 on December 23rd, and Ch 11 on December 27th (the latest). **NOTE: I'll let you know if this changes, but there's a reason as to why I'm so conflicted regarding these chapters being so split-up near Christmas. Luckily, you'll be getting smacked in the face with 36K words worth of Christmas Emison, and a lot of it is witty banter. Follow/favorite me to make sure that you receive an email saying I've posted a new story (on the 22nd), but I'll also be including a notification in one of Ch 10's author's notes. I gotchu.
> 
> For now, have a happy week, and I'll see you soon. I haven't said this in a while, but if you have any questions/comments, always feel free to message me on "capn-charlie" (on Tumblr). I'd love to hear from you.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who’s back and finished with (most of this semester’s) classes!
> 
> If you’re wondering (likely not, but maybe), I got an A in Creative Writing. Pretty proud of myself, so I figured I’d share.
> 
> I’m updating today (before my deadline of tomorrow) because we got hit with a large amount of snow last night and the plows haven’t come by just yet, so I’m currently chillin’ (more like freezing) in my house while watching cars get stuck in the snow. Keep me entertained with your comments/reviews, pls.
> 
> A lot of you are really funny. You’re like “Aww, so cute, but I am SO READY FOR THE ANGST.” I love it. Thank ya’ll for being real with me. As long as you’re ready, let’s get on with it.

She checks her cell phone’s clock as she walks through the office’s hallway, scolding herself for arriving seven minutes past six o’clock like Hanna had said ━ yeah, she’s  _ that  _ nervous about being late. When she arrived moments prior, the desk attendant just gave her a tight-lipped head nod, gesturing towards the hallway which, quickly, Emily took as a free pass to Hanna’s (well, Harlow’s) office. 

Rounding the corner, she’s already apologizing, “Sorry I’m late. There was a bunch of traffic and━”

“Chill,” the blonde’s eyebrows raise as she pushes her chair away from the large desk, “you’re fine.”

They both stand there, almost in a silent stare-down for whatever reason (and neither of them exactly  _ know  _ the reason, really), before Hanna breaks the already-mounting tension by clearing her throat. 

“We’re taking my car, right?” she grabs her thin jacket off a nearby hook.

“Oh, um, yeah… sure,” comes Emily’s indecisive response, being taken off-guard by the random question; honestly, she hadn’t really thought about how they’re getting to the hotel where Aria’s been signing and staying.

Hanna huffs impatiently, tilting her head while droning, “Are you going to be awkward all night? If so, you can count me out.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just not sure how to…  _ act _ , I guess,” her eyes bulge as she looks around. 

“Alright,” Hanna rolls her eyes and brushes past the other girl on her way out, throwing back an “are you coming?” expression when the brunette doesn’t move an inch.

At that, Emily follows quickly and makes sure to keep up with the girl walking in front of her. Meanwhile, the blonde tosses a short “I’m heading out” to the desk attendant. She earns a swift and obeying nod from the girl, and Emily eyes her as she passes; the girl looks happy with her job, that’s for sure, but she can’t help but think about if Hanna is more kindhearted regarding her employees than her clients ━ oh, wait, not every client abandoned their planner years prior, Emily internally throws sarcasm at herself. 

They descend the stairs at a great pace (and Hanna is practically  _ running _ ), then they’re making their way across the street, into a nearby parking lot reserved for employees. Hanna raises her arm overhead and clicks a button on her keyring, causing a loud chirping noise to come from somewhere further ahead. Emily remains following behind the other girl, not saying a word once they’ve arrived at Hanna’s cobalt blue Porsche. For a moment, the brunette feels impressed and a bit proud of Hanna for making such a nice living for herself, especially considering━

“Are you going to get in or just stand there?” comes the other girl’s voice from the driver’s seat. “I don’t have all night.”

Emily rolls her eyes, opens the door, and slides in, giving the blonde a look once her seatbelt is fastened. Hanna ignores the look, starts the engine, and speeds out of the parking lot. Meanwhile, as Emily gets a feel for the other girl’s driving tactics, her stomach flips repeatedly as they nearly clip three cars ━ all in the same neighborhood. She sits there, grasping onto her seat belt for dear life as the speeding vehicle weaves in and out of lanes (and she’s surprised that Hanna even bothers using her directional), as the blonde hums along to whatever’s playing on the radio. Emily slams her eyes shut for a moment, though it doesn’t help much, and wonders if she shouldn’t have told Alison that she’d be careful because, at this point, who the hell knows.

“She’s supposed to be there today, right?” the blonde’s voice breaks Emily out of her thoughts, however she doesn’t answer quick enough before Hanna’s speaking again.

“ _ Hello _ ?” her voice raises. “Are you in this car with me?”

“Unfortunately,” she chokes out.

At that, Hanna flashes a bitter smirk and presses down on the gas again, purposely turning down a few side streets. 

“ _ Hanna _ ,” Emily stresses, “slow the fuck down.”

“Why? Scared?” 

“ _ Yes _ , actually!”

An eye-roll comes next, followed by a deep sigh as the car’s speed begins to diminish until they’re at a dead stop, parked against the curb in front of some abandoned buildings. Hanna switches off the ignition and sits there, almost as if she’s thinking of something while Emily tries to catch her breath from her latest near-death experience.

“I don’t want to be like this with you, Hanna,” Emily rubs at her chest where the seatbelt dug into her skin.

The other girl doesn’t reply. In fact, she doesn’t even react to the words. Instead, she blinks a few times as she stares straight ahead, hands firmly on the wheel at ten and two, lost in thought with a solemn look on her face.

“We can go back if you want,” the brunette swallows hard and looks down, purposely evading the other girl’s now side-eyeing gaze. “I won’t make you do this with me.”

When Hanna finally speaks, her tone is unreadable, “Is that supposed to be reverse psychology?” 

It causes Emily to snap, her eyes widening as she looks at the other girl.

“No, Hanna, I’m trying to be fucking sincere with you, okay? I’d rather you feel comfortable, and clearly that’s not with me.”

“ _ Me _ ? You can’t even look at me, Emily! Not really, at least. You’re fucking petrified. You talk about Aria looking at Spencer like that? What about the looks  _ you  _ give  _ me _ ?! And for what? What reason have I given you?”

“Because I know you hate me, okay?” the brunette’s eyes well up with tears and she tilts her head back. “I don’t care how much you say you don’t━”

“I told you that I  _ can’t _ ,” Hanna practically growls, her throat tightening as some tears of her own begin to form.

“But you want to, and it’s so…” Emily shakes her head, slamming her eyes shut. “It makes me feel like I’ve… I don’t know,” she can’t find the words. 

“I’m not going to deny it, Em. I really do wish I hated you,” her voice is even softer than before, and this time it doesn’t hold any darkness; it’s complete honesty, and maybe that’s the scariest part.

They both lean back in their seats, a few horns honking on the road nearby to interrupt the newfound silence. Although the sun hasn’t set just yet, store lights turn on in the distance, and it feels darker with the tinted windows. Emily shifts in the passenger’s seat, feeling extremely awkward now that they’ve both cooled down. Hanna, on the other hand, resumes her absentminded stare, focusing on whatever in the distance ━ likely nothing in particular. When the blonde doesn’t speak again, Emily decides to break the silence. 

“I wish I could hate you too,” she shifts her jaw in a defensive manner, especially when the other girl’s eyes bore into her temple.

“For what reason? I’ve been here, Emily.”

“Are you listening to yourself, Hanna?!” her voice is at least three times louder than it’s gotten thus far, almost making the other girl flinch. “Every other fucking thing that comes out of your mouth is a jab at how I left you, or how Alison ‘took me away’,” she mocks with air quotes.

Hanna’s eyes shift around the car’s space, suddenly uncomfortable when she feels cornered by the person she’s had the upper hand with for the last few days ━ and, yeah, she’s been looking at that fact like it’s some sort of prize.

“I’ve been taking blow by blow because I know I deserve it, but, deep down, do I? Do I  _ really  _ fucking deserve to be reminded of how I left both my family and friends years ago, every single second I’m in the same room with you? I know you’re hurt, Hanna, and I’m trying to keep that in mind, but I’m not going to sit here and be your punching bag for much longer.”

As Emily takes a few deep breaths, Hanna bites her inner cheek and allows multiple tears to fall into her lap as she stares downwards, a guilty expression crossing both her face and her body language. At first, the brunette thinks that the other girl is about to tell her to get out of the car and find another way home but, in the end, the blonde’s voice is hoarse and maybe a bit regretful-sounding. 

“I’m sorry,” it’s barely audible, but Emily takes what she can get, sitting there and trying to keep her focus on any random object ahead. 

“Honestly?” Emily speaks but doesn’t turn her head. “I don’t think you’re sorry, but maybe that’s for the best.”

Her words confuse Hanna extremely, and the blonde girl’s expression is why she expands upon the statement.

“Maybe… we’re not meant to fix things like I wish we could,” tears fall from their eyes simultaneously, “and maybe, someday, we’ll both feel at peace with what happened… but without one another.”

They make eye contact, both swallowing hard, but this time it’s Hanna who chokes out a big sob and practically pleads with the other girl.

“No, we  _ will  _ be with each other,” she cries and then leans back against her headrest. “We  _ have  _ to be.”

At this point, the girl sitting in the passenger’s seat is at a complete loss and has no idea what Hanna wants from her; she has no idea what to say, or do, or feel.

“ _ God _ ,” the blonde girl slaps her hands against the wheel repeatedly and the car shakes while Emily clenches her jaw and stares out of her window, more tears spilling in the process as the other girl has some sort of breakdown. 

“Why’d you have to fucking leave?” Hanna turns to Emily, her eyes now revealing that she’s completely shattered beyond belief, and the brunette wants nothing more than to go back in time ━  _ with  _ Alison ━ so she could fix everything. 

“Everything would be so different. It would be so much better. We’d be happy, and we’d all be together. We’d be going to bars, and laughing, and talking about shit that happened during Freshman year and,  _ fuck _ , we’d be attending each other’s weddings,” she rants, and Emily’s breathing becomes even more unsteady as she wipes at her eyes and cries. 

“Well, I’m here  _ now _ ,” is the only thing that the brunette can manage and, judging by Hanna’s reaction to the words, something seems to have… clicked ━ at least a little.

After a few more beats, the admission “I know you are” falls from the blonde girl’s mouth, and they both hold their breath slightly. 

“I really am sorry, Emily,” Hanna hangs her head after a moment, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and offering the other girl a sincere look, her nose all red and eyes slightly puffy.

Words bubble in Emily’s throat, but it takes more than thirty seconds to come out and, when they do, she immediately recoils and sinks into her seat, hoping that Hanna’s irritation doesn’t return.

“Alison really isn’t the reason why I left,” her eyes flicker to the other girl’s face for a moment before bouncing around the car as she waits for whatever response.

Hanna purses her lips, sniffles once, and mutters a curt “I know, but it’s easy to blame her.”

The brunette breathes out, “Do you seriously wish that she had been killed, Hanna?”

“God,  _ no _ ,” Hanna sighs, though it’s more of an incredulous laugh. “I would never…  _ no _ , I don’t.”

Emily nods both to herself and the girl sitting beside her, trying to believe Hanna but having a hard time since she’s been back and forth ever since they re-met days prior. More silence fills the car, and they both imagine the windows just…  _ exploding  _ due to the pressure, but the glass never fails.

“Em,” she looks at the girl sitting beside her, “I won’t lie and say everything’s okay,  _ especially  _ with Alison.”

The brunette stares at her hands again.

“And, honestly, I meant it when I said I won’t be able to keep my cool around her,” Hanna shakes her head, “but I’m not trying to be stubborn. I really wish I  _ could  _ just… forget…” her voice trails off.

“I don’t think any of us will ever necessarily forget,” Emily mutters. 

She continues after a small pause, “Hanna, I’m not trying to force you into forgiving Alison. I’m not even going to  _ ask  _ for that.” 

The brunette bites her lip for a second, “I’m not asking you to forgive me, or anyone else, but I realize I haven’t been the most fair to you, either. Not just before I left years ago, but recently, and I’m sorry for that.”

Hanna sniffles and nods, “I know you are.”

Silence fills the air like previously, and neither girl wants to break the quietness since everything feels somewhat lighter ━ a good lighter, maybe even great ━ for the moment. But, as the minutes pass, Hanna sighs and starts the car back up.

“I’ll tell you one thing… she’s got  _ really  _ good taste in designs.”

Emily snickers at the abrupt change in topic and mood, to which Hanna glances at her and shoots her a small smile. 

“The first night I had her wedding-choice book was total hell for me,” she continues. “I sat at home, wine in hand as Caleb watched me make faces at the pages.”

“Yeah, well, it was hell for me too,” Emily tilts her head, eyes wide as the car drives along smoothly, advancing towards New York City. 

“I figured,” Hanna smirks.

The other girl shoots the driver a look.

“Don’t give me that. I can totally picture Alison taking over and you just… sitting there.”

“She actually forces me into helping,” she grunts.

“Good. You  _ should  _ help.”

“My mom keeps saying that. She says that wedding planning is ‘intimate,’ and that I need to help.”

Hanna waits a moment before asking, “How is she? Your mom. I miss her.”

“She’s good. Taking it easy nowadays.” 

“I’m, um, sorry about…” her voice trails off, not knowing if Emily has accepted the death of her father yet or if she’s still pretty hurt by his passing.

“Thank you,” the brunette interrupts when she senses Hanna’s discomfort.

“Did you… see him? Before, I mean,” she gently pries, keeping her eyes locked on the road for the most part but stealing occasional glances at the girl who fiddles with her fingers.

“No,” her voice is quiet.

“Sorry,” she apologizes again for both bringing it up and because of what happened. 

“Alison and I got there a few minutes too late,” Emily explains. “We were heading there to visit for the first time since…” her voice trails off, “and we pulled up to see an ambulance getting ready to leave. Dad was already on his way to the hospital.”

Hanna listens intently, trying not to let her eyes fog up as she drives. 

“I was in shock as the EMT explained what happened, so Alison shoved me into the car and drove me to the hospital. When we got there, my mom wrapped me in the biggest hug and we just… cried. For hours, it felt like.”

“How’d your mom react to seeing Alison after everything?” the question holds genuine curiosity, and Hanna partially asks because she wants to know if she’s the only one who’s handled the other blonde’s existence horribly ━ although, she already knows that she is, and guilt floats around in her mind. 

“She pulled her into our hug, honestly,” Emily explains and Hanna turns to her briefly, an unreadable expression covering her features.

“I was surprised,” she continues, “but once we were all together, it felt… normal. Like nothing happened before, almost. At the funeral, Mom told Alison that they never blamed her, and Alison kept that from me for a while. I think she still didn’t fully believe it, but I guess she let it sink in, eventually.”

Hanna swallows hard, “And that’s why you’re so fiercely protective.”

“Partially, yes. I’ve spent so long trying to make sure that she’s aware that  _ I _ made the decision, but I can tell that it still bothers her a lot.”

“ _ God _ ,” the other girl breathes out, “I didn’t mean━”

Emily shakes her head, “Don’t lie, Hanna. I understand, I do, but you have to understand that I’m going to marry her, and I don’t regret a second of what we’ve been through in the past.”

“I’m happy for you,” comes the sudden admission. “Like I said before, I probably won’t be this calm once we finally do meet up together, honestly, and I might not show my admiration or express it at all, but I really am happy for you. For both of you, actually.”

The brunette’s lips part but nothing comes out. Instead, she blinks a few times, staring ahead as they continue along the road.

“And I’m glad I’m your planner,” she adds, causing Emily to chuckle and roll her eyes.

“How’d you get into wedding planning, anyway? I don’t remember you being that into weddings. In fact, you seemed to loathe them before.”

“Well, let’s see…” Hanna purses her lips as she looks over her left shoulder and checks her mirrors, merging into another lane. 

She squints an eye as she tries to recall what happened.

“After I left, I had nothing to do, and we didn’t have a ton of money to live off of because Caleb couldn’t exactly find work either,” she begins, “so I worked at a few small restaurants for a while. One day, some snobby-looking lady sat down at one of my tables as she took calls in an earpiece. Honestly, at the time, I was like ‘Why the fuck would you sit down in a restaurant just so you could be obnoxious?’ but then I started looking at her work.”

Emily listens, tilting her head and paying attention to the blonde who smiles at the memory.

“I didn’t know what she did for a living, but I eventually started to understand once another woman sat across from her and they exchanged ideas and slid fancy pictures across the table. So, when I brought them their drinks, they were in the middle of some venue conversation and decorating issue, and I shared my opinion,” she shrugs. 

“At first,” the blonde continues, “they both kind of looked at me like ‘Alright, who asked you?’ but then they kind of… shared a look and asked me my opinions. I spent my lunch-break helping them out and, by the end of their time at the restaurant, I had a new job. She didn’t care about my previous job or school experience or, shall I say, lack-there-of… so it worked out. Eventually, I moved up from assistant, and now I'm my own boss. I love what I do, and it pays extremely well.”

Emily laughs, “I can tell it pays well,” noting the blonde’s car choice and overall aesthetic.

“You’re not doing all that bad, yourself,” Hanna shrugs.

“Nope. I’m happy with how things turned out,” the brunette nods. “Managing a business is much easier than I expected.”

“Mhm,” she hums. “And Alison’s a teacher?”

“Self-defense, yes.”

Hanna hums again, partly in an impressed manner. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just meet me at my house? The ride would have been much shorter for both of us,” the brunette is suddenly curious since, from her house, the drive would have been cut by at least twenty minutes.

The blonde girl sighs, “Honestly, because I knew that, if we ended up getting into some huge argument, I could just drop you off somewhere.”

Emily rolls her eyes and snickers at the explanation, but she doesn’t question it any further.

The car pulls into the same nearby parking garage that Emily and Spencer had parked in a few days beforehand, the vehicle bouncing when it passes over a cement bump. It only takes a couple more minutes to park, surprisingly, and the two girls exit as soon as the engine is cut. As Hanna begins to walk through the echoing garage (Emily just steps behind), she throws out a quick “Shouldn’t you be telling Alison that we arrived here safely?” with a knowing smirk, and the expression grows when she gets a fumbling “Oh, yeah, right. Thanks” from the other girl. 

**E** ━ “At the hotel safely.” 

Not surprising Emily, she gets a text back almost straight away, obviously because the other girl is most likely just lying in bed while watching TV. 

**A** ━ “Thanks for checking in. Hope things go well.”

**E** ━ “So do I.”

**E** ━ “How are you feeling? No lying.”

**A** ━ “Ugh.”

**A** ━ “But that’s only right now. :)”

Emily rolls her eyes at the second text, earning a curious look from the blonde now walking alongside her. 

“Nothing,” the brunette speaks to Hanna as she shakes her head, laughing a little. “She’s just being a pain.”

Hanna raises her eyebrows in a “nothing new there” manner while Emily goes back to texting.

**E** ━ “Mhm. Go rest. We’re heading inside now.”

**A** ━ “Message me after. Love you.”

**E** ━ “Love you too.”

She slides her phone into her back pocket just as they step through the hotel’s doors (or the library’s doors, technically). At first, Emily thinks that she’s going to get kicked out of the hotel because of what had happened the other day but, really, she doesn’t think that Aria had ordered security to tackle her ass so she internally rolls her eyes at her paranoia. Hanna makes her way over towards the elevators, almost as if she knows exactly where she’s going, and Emily furrows her eyebrows once they step into the contained metal box. 

“What?” Hanna narrows her eyes at Emily’s expression.

“Do you know where we’re going?” 

“Yes…” the blonde looks at the doors as if the question is ridiculous. “We’re going to Aria’s room.”

Emily tilts her head, “But how do you know━”

“I know people, okay?” 

“Jeez, okay.”

“Sorry,” she mutters, “this whole thing is putting me on edge.”

“I think we’re all a little on edge,” Emily mimics Hanna’s tone and the other girl just nods in slight agreement ━ or maybe it’s understanding. 

“Won't she have security outside her room?” comes the brunette’s next worry. “Like… to keep crazy fans away.”

“No,” Hanna answers in a flat tone, “I know Aria. Well,  _ old _ Aria. Her objective is to blend in as much as possible. She isn't all that flashy… except for her fashion choices,” her final statement is more like an internal thought and Emily makes a face.

A bell dings and the elevator doors slide open. Both girls take deep breaths before stepping out into the floral-carpeted hallway, and Hanna looks down at the pattern choice with a grimace. Emily follows the other girl as they walk, noting the hotel’s cliché decor and random paintings hung on the walls. Eventually they reach Aria’s room (as per Hanna’s knowledge), and the blonde raises her knuckles so she can knock, however something stops her and she pauses as they stand there. Emily, behind her, bites her inner cheek and looks around as if they’re doing something that they’re not supposed to. When Hanna turns around once more and gives Emily a “here we go” type of look, she finally knocks, and they hear a gentle “Be right there” from inside ━ and it’s definitely Aria’s voice. 

When the door flings open, all girls stare at one another with wide-eyes (and the two on the outside are wearing cheeky smiles), but Aria’s expression looks much more sinister and unwanting. 

The smaller brunette swallows hard and looks around the hallway frantically, almost as if she’s searching for someone or something ━ and Emily assumes that it’s security who she’s after. 

“You need to leave,” comes the shortest girl’s reply, “like…  _ now _ .”

In response, Hanna turns to Emily and shoots her an “I told you” head tilt, and that’s when the taller brunette tries to speak.

“Please, just━”

She’s cut off by Aria trying to close the door, but Hanna puts her foot in front of the barrier and it doesn’t shut any further as the girl behind it struggles with a huff. 

“Just give us a few minutes,” Hanna shoots out in an impatient tone, rolling her eyes a bit with her arms crossed. 

There’s a silent stare-down for at least thirty more seconds, but Aria eventually relents and exaggeratedly allows them to enter, making a dramatic motion with her arm as they pass over the threshold. Aria peeks out into the hallway and looks back and forth, checking to make sure that no one else is behind them. Before she can close herself into the room with the other two girls, she hears Hanna’s voice come from behind her, standing by the windows.

“Spencer isn’t here. You can stop panicking.”

“That’s not━” Aria tries, but Hanna cuts her off with a disbelieving look, and then she rolls her eyes. 

Emily stands near Hanna, arms crossed as her eyes flicker to Aria every now and then. Aria does the same when it comes to the other brunette, not staring at her for longer than a second at a time. Hanna, feeling anxious, looks at Emily with a pointed expression.

“Okay, I got you in here. Speak,” the blonde’s eyes widen when Emily looks like a deer caught in headlights. 

Aria crosses her arms uncomfortably and shifts back and forth on her feet, still standing near the door. 

Emily opens her mouth and closes it a few times, not knowing how to━

“Em,” Hanna snaps. “Are you going to talk or was this trip a━”

“Shh,” Emily shushes with an irritated expression, and Aria raises her eyebrows.

“Don’t shush me,” the blonde throws back, looking away afterwards.

Emily turns her attention to the shorter brunette, “I didn’t mean to corner you the other day. Honestly, it was a spur-the-moment plan and we just wanted to see you.”

“You and Spencer,” Aria’s tone sounds both questioning and accusatory. 

“Yeah,” Emily looks at the floor and re-crosses her arms awkwardly, muttering a barely audible “I didn’t know what happened between you two. I’m sorry.”

Aria’s eyes narrow but, afterwards, she nods softly. 

“Is that it?” she asks after a moment.

“No, actually,” Emily takes a small step forward and gives a hardly visible smile, “I was wondering━”

“I’m not talking to anyone about anything,” Aria already knows, and Emily looks away. 

“Please━”

“No, Emily,” she raises her voice a fraction and her forehead creases. “I━I refuse. I can’t.”

“Aria━”

“No!” she yells. “And if you can’t handle that answer, then you can leave.”

Emily bites her inner cheek and looks at Hanna regretfully and slightly apologetically, walking towards the door and passing Aria on her way there. Hanna, however, remains standing near the windows with crossed arms and an expressionless face. After a beat, she huffs and rolls her eyes, earning a confused expression from the two other girls. 

“Hanna, it’s fine, let’s just━” Emily starts but she’s cut off by Hanna’s oncoming rant.

“You know, I actually read some of your books,” she directs at Aria. “I don’t read often, but I made it my mission to keep up with what’s gone on in your life. I admired you, alright? All of these…  _ heroes  _ getting through the shit written in your stories… I figured that they stemmed from something deeper, like pride, or courage.”

Aria looks at her, taken aback by the admission and accusations. Emily, as well, stands behind the shorter brunette, hand lingering near the doorknob as she listens to Hanna.

The blonde laughs bitterly, “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe none of us are as strong as I really hoped and believed.”

“You know nothing about me anymore, Hanna,” Aria takes a step forward, her voice slightly wavering as she tries to stand her ground.

“Possibly,” she shrugs, “but I do know that things still bother you.”

Aria shakes her head, “You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” Hanna purses her lips. “Emily has Spencer’s number. If I told her to call Spencer right now━”

“Stop it,” the smaller brunette’s voice breaks.

“━and Emily invited her to your hotel room to hang out with us━”

“Stop!” Aria looks like she’s about to cry.

“Hanna,” Emily warns a bit loudly and that’s when the blonde stops.

Emily shakes her head gently when she sees that Aria is visibly recoiled and her body is stiff with fear. Hanna swallows hard and clenches her jaw, speaking softer afterwards.

“Look, I don’t really want to get the band back together either, but I don’t think she’ll stop until we agree,” Hanna nods her head towards Emily who goes to protest but shuts up real quick.

Aria turns to face Emily for a moment, flashing her an unreadable expression before she turns back to Hanna.

“Do you have a plan?” she sounds tired.

“Emily, do you have a plan?” Hanna bounces the question to the other brunette.

She clears her throat, “Well, we could get together at my house. I’ll let Ali know.”

“Great,” Hanna mumbles with raised eyebrows, and Emily glances in her direction, shooting her a semi-annoyed yet partially understanding look.

“I can’t just  _ not  _ include her. It’s her house too, Hanna,” the brunette looks away.

Aria turns back around, “So you  _ are  _ with Alison?”

“Um, yeah,” Emily confirms hastily, “we’re engaged.”

The shorter brunette nods her head gently and Emily swears she can see a small smile forming before the other girl turns around to face Hanna again.

“And Spencer?” she cautiously asks.

“Everyone, Aria,” Hanna confirms. “We’ll all be there, and we’ll all have to face someone we don’t exactly  _ want  _ to,” she mumbles the last part, earning an unreadable stare from Emily.

Aria bites her inner cheek and wrings her hands, looking at the floor as she falls silent. At first, both Emily and Hanna think that Aria will still refuse to meet up with everyone but, in the end, she nods her head a fraction. 

“Fine,” she breathes out. “I figured this would happen sooner or later. I just want to get it over with,” she mumbles.

Emily’s lips part in surprise, and Hanna nods on the other side of the room with a small “Okay.”

“I’m only in town for a few more days, though,” Aria continues. “After that, I’m going back to Connecticut. It’s not far, but we might as well get together while I’m still here.”

“I’m free tomorrow,” Hanna offers in a flat tone, breathing out afterwards.

“Okay, um,” Emily fumbles for her phone and the blonde rolls her eyes, “let me just text Spencer.”

Aria’s body language stiffens again and Hanna makes a mental note, though she doesn’t verbalize it to put Aria on the spot. Emily types out a quick message asking if the girl’s free tomorrow night, and then slides the device back into her pocket. Aria, feeling extremely exhausted by the abrupt visit, rubs at her temple before she walks over to her purse and pulls out a couple of business cards inscribed with her cell phone number. She hands both girls a card with a curt smile. 

“Here. I’m going to need your address, so text it to me tomorrow,” she notifies Emily who nods. 

Suddenly, Emily feels her phone vibrate to signal that she’s received a response. She pulls the phone out of her pocket quickly, sliding her finger across the unlocking screen to open Spencer’s text:  _ “I’m free. Why?” _

**E** ━ “Aria is willing to talk. Hanna too.”

**S** ━ “Okay…”

**S** ━ “Where are we meeting?”

**E** ━ “My house. Do you remember how to get there? If not, I’ll send you the address tomorrow.”

**S** ━ “Okay.”

**S** ━ “Yeah, send me the address.”

Emily breathes out an “Okay, Spencer’s going to come,” and the other girls nod. They all stand there, awkwardly, as more silence falls upon the hotel room. It’s now nearing 8:40 P.M. and all three girls are feeling pretty drained, so Hanna begins to walk towards the door where Emily still stands. 

“Do you need anything before we go?” Emily asks Aria in a cautious tone, earning a raised eyebrow at the question.

“No, I’m good,” she speaks softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she offers a pained smile. 

“Yeah…” Hanna mumbles as she opens the door and steps into the hallway.

“Thank you for, um, letting us talk,” Emily turns back to speak to the smaller brunette. 

“Mhm,” Aria hums flatly. “Congrats, by the way,” her smile is more genuine now, and Emily lets out a small laugh. 

“Thank you,” she mimics the smile. “Have a nice night.” 

Aria nods and, soon after, shuts the door while Emily meets Hanna at the end of the hallway. When Emily finally catches up to the blonde girl, they stand in front of the elevator doors as neither of them speak. Really, neither of them really know what to say but, eventually, Hanna looks at Emily. They gain eye contact for a few moments, just standing there in silence as they wait for the elevator to arrive. When the bell finally dings, Hanna offers Emily a partial smile, and they step into the metal box.

 

X X X

 

“Are you sure you’re up for tomorrow night, Ali? I totally forgot you’re not feeling well,” Emily rolls her eyes at herself as she rubs her temple.

Alison sits at the kitchen table, watching her fiancée pace the floor, chuckling a bit at the sight. 

“Em, I’ll be fine. I’m already feeling okay, and I’ll just keep a steady flow of medicine in my system all day tomorrow. It’s no problem. I know you want this,” she offers. 

Emily stops pacing and stands in front of the girl, “But do  _ you  _ want this? God, I’ve been so focused on what I want…”

“Shh,” Alison shushes and grabs for the other girl’s hands. “Truthfully… I’m a little nervous about it because I really do feel like they blame me for everything, but I’m not going to ruin your chances of feeling at ease about everything. You deserve closure, Em.” 

“I just don’t want to force you into anything━”

“Emily, listen to me,” her voice is kind and comforting. “We’ll both regret it if we back out. I think this could be a start to something… easier. Maybe it won’t be like old times, and,  _ God _ , I hope not because I wasn’t the best person, but…” she trails off.

Emily swallows hard and sways their hands between them, “I know. You’re right.”

“Mhm,” Alison stands up and hugs the brunette, burying her head into Emily’s neck, “I love you.”

The tanned girl runs her fingers through Alison’s hair, “I love you too.”

“Keep it that way,” she whispers and Emily smiles. 

“Of course.” 

Alison backs up and puckers her lips, asking for a kiss. Emily, obviously, obliges and grants her a short peck, smirking when the blonde girl asks for another straight away. She rolls her eyes when Alison pouts after her request is denied with a curt head shake, and then pulls away so she can put some distance between them. She glances at Alison’s outfit, noting that the girl had, sometime, changed out of her fuzzy pajamas, and into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. The blonde notices Emily’s line of sight and flashes her a cheeky smile. 

“How are you feeling?” Emily arches an eyebrow. “You were feeling  _ ‘ugh’  _ before,” she mocks the blonde’s text from a few hours ago.

Alison’s eyes search the room as they droop every now and then, and she goes to open her mouth, however is shut up when Emily raises both eyebrows with a pointed look.

“Fine,” Alison groans. “I’m not feeling  _ all  _ better, but I was feeling much worse this morning. I feel okay.”

“Ali,” Emily drones. 

“That’s the truth, Em,” the blonde pouts and begins to walk upstairs, not expecting anything but wanting to lie down. 

Emily stands there and narrows her eyes at the staircase. Next, she goes over to the front door and makes sure it’s locked before she follows the other girl. Her feet take her up the steps at a steady pace, soon walking into their bedroom to see Alison already cuddled up in bed with a bra and underwear on, afterwards noting the girl’s discarded clothing on the floor. The brunette chuckles and shakes her head, earning a curious glance from the girl who is now tugging the comforter further over her own body. When Emily doesn’t answer, Alison just watches her walk over to her closet. She disappears into the small room a second later, shutting the door behind her as Alison frowns and turns towards the wall. Three minutes pass before Alison hears the closet door unlatch, followed by the feeling of the mattress dipping once most lights are shut off.

Soon enough, a naked body is pressed up against Alison’s backside, and the blonde raises an eyebrow as she turns around. Emily smiles when the other girl is finally facing her, leaning in to give her a gentle kiss.

“You expect me to keep my hands to myself while you’re━”

Emily cuts her off with a soft laugh and a sultry tone as she asks, “Who said I want you to keep your hands to yourself?”

Alison opens her mouth and then shuts it again, not having a rebuttal for the other girl who stares back with a lustful expression. Seeing that the blonde girl has nothing more to say for the time being (or, really, she just can’t voice her thoughts right now), Emily connects their lips and pushes Alison backwards, crawling onto her immediately after. Once they depart again, Emily hovers above the other girl, her thighs straddling one of Alison’s as they make eye contact. 

“I thought I told you that I’m not feeling completely better,” the blonde raises an eyebrow at the girl biting her bottom lip while she holds herself above Alison. 

“Mhm,” Emily leans down and pecks the other girl on her lips, “but you’re not the only one who’s been missing this.” 

Alison leans up to reattach their lips, but Emily stops her with a single digit to her mouth, smiling softly at the eager girl below her. 

“Slow, okay? You’re already tired, Ali,” she raises her eyebrows, whispering to Alison.

“Okay,” comes the blonde’s quick reply, once again trying to crane her neck and connect their lips. 

Emily backs up and narrows her eyes with another smile, “Did I  _ not  _ just tell you to take it slow?”

Alison rolls her eyes and huffs dramatically as she lays her head back down on the pillow. The brunette chuckles and shimmies down a little so she can tend to her fiancée’s neck, whispering a gentle “Relax” to the girl pressed against the mattress. Immediately, she begins to work her lips against her lover’s neck, nipping and kissing at the tender skin. Alison moans at the sensation, quickly reacting to the pressure along her sore skin. She feels sweat already coating her body once the brunette continues, probably an additional result from Emily’s close proximity. 

Within minutes, Emily finishes tending to one side of the girl’s neck, so she shifts her body upwards in order to kiss Alison, afterwards looking into her blue eyes and whispering, “Let me take care of you.”

In response, the blonde swallows hard and nods, her skin growing goosebumps when Emily straightens her body out so she’s sitting. Without wasting any more time, her hands reach behind Alison’s back and she undoes the girl’s bra, sliding the garment off with ease. The girl below locks eyes with her lover, feeling suddenly shy because she hasn’t felt all that sexy for days, but smiles when Emily looks at her with such admiration. Her smile fades when the brunette arches an eyebrow and slides down her body again, settling herself in between Alison’s legs as she slowly pulls off the girl’s panties. The blonde assists by lifting up her bottom half, though she feels a little stunned by Emily’s straightforwardness ━ not that she isn’t  _ thrilled  _ by it.

Emily, afterwards, makes her way back to Alison’s face and kisses her again ━ this time deeper. The blonde moans into the kiss while her nails scratch at the other girl’s back, especially when she feels Emily shifting her hips and pressing their lower halves together. Alison pours more passion into the kiss, sliding her tongue against the brunette’s as their skin gains a sticky sweat within minutes. When Emily wants a bigger reaction, she kisses her way down the side of Alison’s neck like before, soothing the skin with her tongue as she whispers “I love you.” Alison, upon hearing the words, tries to squeak out an “I love you too,” but it comes out as a strangled moan when the brunette keeps moving downwards, dragging her mouth around the other girl’s chest and pressing open-mouthed kisses to the skin.

“Em,” she chokes out between breaths, “don’t stop, please.”

The other girl continues, dragging her hands up Alison’s sides and bringing her nails back downwards. In response, Alison whimpers and tangles her hands in her lover’s hair, biting onto her lower lip in order to quiet herself but, in the end, it doesn’t help all that much. Emily remains dragging her mouth across the blonde’s skin, being careful not to put too much pressure since the girl’s sick body is likely sore. After a minute or so longer, she makes her way back upwards and Alison whimpers when their lips reconnect in a sloppy, heated kiss. 

Emily pulls away soon enough, their lips still brushing together as she whispers, “Show me where you want me.”

Alison almost moans at the instruction, her mouth hanging open and eyes fluttering shut while Emily looks at her with a gentle smirk. She swallows hard a moment later, opening her eyes to focus on the girl still hovering above her, now wearing a knowing smile with raised eyebrows. Emily bites her lip soon after, offering a final kiss to her lover’s mouth before she slinks down Alison’s body. The blonde whimpers at the sensation of Emily going down on her and the thought of everything that’s about to come, but she forces her body to relax as much as possible.

Upon settling between the blonde girl’s legs somewhere below the covers, Emily kisses Alison’s thighs repeatedly, especially across that one mark that has made the girl cringe time and time again. When she moves her lips against the jagged scar, she hears Alison inhale sharply and, without taking any more time away from what the blonde  _ really  _ wants, she makes her way back to the girl’s center. Her tongue dives into Alison’s folds, drawing out a loud gasp when the girl gets a taste of how torturously slow Emily intends on moving. Really, if Alison wasn’t enjoying it (and if she could speak), she’d scold her fiancée for making sure things go slow because, honestly, she doesn’t care if her body can’t “handle it” right now. Almost as if the brunette read her mind, she speeds up her ministrations and Alison moans loudly at the warm friction, choking on her own breath before she forces herself to keep everything under control; she doesn’t think that coughing up a lung during sex is the most attractive thing, and she’s sure that Emily would think the same. 

As the brunette works on her lover, she pushes the girl’s legs further apart and wraps her arms around Alison’s thighs. She uses her nails to scratch across the blonde’s lower abdomen, eliciting a sharp moan when she uses her tongue to spell out the alphabet at the same time. Emily works on teasing the other girl heavily, pausing at certain times or simply using the tip of her tongue to exaggerate the end of a letter ━ not that Alison’s really paying attention to what she’s spelling out because she’s too busy reacting to every swirl and swipe. When the brunette continues to toy with her while circling her clit, Alison gets even more frustrated and, in the end, tangles her hands in Emily’s hair, pulling her as close as she can in hopes that the girl  _ finally  _ gets the hint. 

In response, Emily hums against the sensitive skin and smiles, causing Alison to whimper louder. When she feels the blonde growing severely frustrated, Emily decides that it’s time to finish the girl off, knowing full well how and when to do it. So, when she angles her tongue in the precise way, she earns a big response that she’s become so accustomed to during sex: Alison’s constant, choked-out sounds as she arches her back, tilting her head into the pillow while her nails dig into whatever they can find ━ and, right now, that just so happens to be Emily’s skin. The blonde feels more sweat forming all over her body as she’s hit with a sudden chill, though it’s just another reward earned by Emily’s skilled mouth, and a moan bubbles in her throat when the brunette pulls Alison’s body down as she, herself, pushes her tongue deeper. When the sound passes Alison’s lips, however, it’s barely audible as her orgasm slams into her, and Emily uses her thumb to flick at the blonde’s clit again to make sure she climaxes as hard as possible.

When the girl’s back finally hits the mattress once again, she breathes so hard that she coughs a few times while Emily kisses her inner thigh one last time. The brunette drags her mouth along the other girl’s skin as she climbs upwards, eventually coming face to face with Alison who is struggling to keep her breathing steady. 

“Are you okay?” Emily asks, her own breathing a bit fast-paced. 

Alison smiles for a split second before taking another deep breath.

“Are you really asking me that, right now?”

The brunette smirks, though it’s a bit shy, and she leans down to kiss the corner of her lover’s mouth. When she goes to back up from the other girl’s face, however, Alison pulls her back down and kisses her hard, wanting to taste herself on Emily’s tongue. She whimpers again when Emily’s thigh lands between her own, pressing against the damp, sensitive skin as their tongues fight for dominance. As their sloppy lip-lock continues, Alison attempts to turn them over but Emily backs up to shoot her a pointed look. 

“Stop struggling,” comes the brunette’s sweet voice when the other girl keeps trying to shift.

“Em, come on.”

Emily shakes her head with a smile, leaning down and kissing the blonde’s cheek. Alison looks at her with confusion, narrowing her eyes slightly at the girl who remains hovering above her.

“I want you to rest now,” Emily comes out with once her breathing is nearly back to normal, making it seem as though she hadn’t just been under bedsheets for minutes on end. 

“What? Em, at least let me━”

“Alison,” she kisses the other girl’s lips to shut her up, “not tonight. I just wanted to take care of you.”

“But don’t you want━”

“Of course,” the brunette breathes out with a laugh, “but I’ll live, trust me. I can see how tired you are.”

Alison waits a moment before whispering, “But I feel bad.” 

“We have the rest of our lives to get even, Ali.”

At that, the blonde smiles big and, although she doesn’t particularly  _ want  _ to rest, she kisses the other girl one last time. Emily returns the smile while they kiss, her lips curving as their mouths press against one another before she rolls off of the girl, stealing the covers on her way towards her side of the bed.

“Hey!” Alison snatches them back and Emily snickers nearby. 

When the blonde bunches all of the blankets on her side, obviously trying to get some sort of payback, the other girl pouts and grunts, turning over again so she’s crossing their invisible bedside divider. 

“Get on your side,” Alison laughs when her body starts being pushed towards the edge of the bed.

“No, I want to cuddle you,” the other girl smirks, getting as close as she can.

Alison grunts, feeling her foot dangling over the edge.

“At least push over a bit,” she breathes out with another laugh.

Emily seems to think for a moment before backing up as she pulls her fiancée towards her body, their skin melting together with the now-dry sweat. The brunette kisses the side of Alison’s neck as they spoon, moving her mouth along the girl’s jaw and down her bare shoulder. In response, the blonde tilts her head into the pillows, letting out a moan at the sensation. Unintentionally, due to getting lost in her ministrations, Emily’s hand lands on Alison’s upper thigh, rubbing at the skin underneath her fingertips. 

“Em,” the sound gets caught in her throat, “if you want me to rest, then you’re going to have to stop.”

“Hmm?” Emily hums in response. “Oh, sorry.”

Alison chuckles, “Don’t apologize. You’re the one trying to make me go to sleep.”

The brunette rolls her eyes as she flops onto her back, staring at the ceiling once she’s situated. Alison frowns at the loss of contact, so she, herself, turns around to cuddle up to the other naked girl, hooking her leg between Emily’s thighs as the brunette inhales sharply ━ which Alison doesn’t miss. 

“Don’t even think about it, Alison,” Emily doesn’t open her now-closed eyes; she simply feels the other girl’s hand shifting the blankets. 

“Come on,” Alison’s husky tone sounds closer than before, and that’s because her lips are millimeters away from the brunette’s ear. 

Emily bites her bottom lip in response, trying her hardest to keep her breathing steady and the potential whimpers at bay. Alison, seeing the girl’s lip snagged between her teeth, smirks at the situation, kissing her way down the brunette’s jaw and back behind her ear while her leg shifts upwards, drawing out another sharp noise.

“Ali,” she keeps her voice steady (which is a big surprise), “go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“You need rest.”

“I can rest after.”

“You’re relentless,” Emily tries to say, but the final syllable gives away her vulnerability when Alison drags her tongue up the brunette’s neck, eliciting a strangled moan. 

The other girl grins at the sound, tilting her head a fraction as she watches her fiancée struggle. Before dipping her head back down to kiss the girl’s neck more, Alison glides her hand up Emily’s inner thigh, her fingertips walking across the skin as the brunette swallows hard. 

“I’m sorry. I just… want you,” Alison whispers once she’s pulled her hand away from the other girl so she can properly think. 

“Do you really want me to stop?” her eyes remain locked on the brunette’s.

Honestly, she knows that she’s being pretty unfair since she technically promised Emily that she’d rest, and it’s not the best idea to practically seduce the other girl into going further, but she can’t help it; she loves being intimate with her fiancée, especially during nights when she’s not feeling up to par. Emily, on the other hand, feels touched that the blonde girl is trying to be as considerate as possible, even if she  _ wants  _ to go further ━ they both do, really. So, before another second passes, Emily pulls her lover’s face back down towards her own and their lips meet again as Alison moans into her mouth at the sudden action.

When they pull away, the brunette finally shakes her head slightly, craning her neck upwards to re-capture the other girl’s lips as she pulls her back down to the mattress, Alison’s hand falling between her legs and earning a sudden gasp ━ one of many for the remainder of the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, one of the final “calm before the storm” updates. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> “Don’t shush me.” ━ I love using on-screen phrases, even though I’m going to be mixing up what character uses them in this story.
> 
> This is my second favorite Hannily encounter, mostly because Emily starts to realize that she can’t keep taking Alison’s side 24/7, and that she can protect Alison without biting at Hanna’s throat. Additionally, I think Hanna is way more vulnerable in this chapter, and she’s much more raw/real. Roughly, she wants Emily to beg for forgiveness, and when Emily finally says, “...maybe, someday, we’ll both feel at peace with what happened… but without one another,” it’s basically like she’s giving up, and Hanna doesn’t want that one bit; she misses their friendship dearly, but it’s going to be very hard to forgive each and every one of them ━ including Emily. With that being said, it isn’t going to be all light and airy now. Hanna will very much remain extremely snarky for a little longer, and I’m excited for you to see it.
> 
> How about Aria? Well, she’s very fragile (and a smol cinnamon roll), but she won’t allow herself to be walked all over which I loved writing because, often, she’s just sort of… there (on-screen). So, in this story, she’s on the same level as the other girls in terms of background explanation (aside from Emison, obviously).
> 
> The past however-many chapters have (mostly) been in Emily’s perspective ━ as in… we usually follow her around, instead of Alison ━ but the next bunch of chapters are going to be in Alison’s perspective. Not sure if that excites you or not, but I really enjoy writing for Alison because she’s just so complex. Most of Ch 10 and so forth will deal with her overall dynamic, some memories, internal battles, etc. 
> 
> Next update, A.K.A the infamous meet-up (and that’s a very broad spoiler): Friday, a day after the first chapter of my Christmas story is published (which I’ll give you a heads-up about). I’m going to be posting six chapters in six days (between this story and the Christmas one). That’s a whole lotta me, you’ve got to deal with. 
> 
> Again, I love hearing your comments/concerns/questions, so keep ‘em coming throughout the holidays and everyday after that. Thanks for coming and, next week, we’re halfway through this roller coaster ride. 
> 
> P.S. I sincerely hope everyone’s moods stay optimistic throughout the Winter season (and every season, actually). I, personally, have a hard time staying happy during the colder months (since I live on the East Coast so it’s naturally freezing), and I tend to feel pretty lonely, so I’d like to extend the sentiment to ya’ll when I say that I hope your mood stays stabilized. I care about each and every one of you.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayo! 
> 
> I’ve already said this in the Christmas story’s note, but I figured that I’d say it here as well: I apologize in advance for any typos throughout the rest of this story. I’ve decided to revise on my own from now on because it’s less stressful for everyone involved/helping. With that being said, it’s basically impossible to catch every typo in your own writing, so bear with me.
> 
> As I recently stated, the first chapter of “A Rosewood Blizzard” is up, so check it out if you’d like. I’ll be updating it again later today (or right after this, not sure), then tomorrow, and then on Christmas.
> 
> As for this update… well, have fun, and there’s a reaaally long author’s note at the bottom, whoopsies.

_Alison paces back and forth near their front door while Emily watches her from where she leans against the wall. It’s 6:05 P.M. and the others will be arriving soon ━ or they should be ━ and, well, the blonde’s walking distance has only shortened within the past thirty minutes, the other girl’s eyes following her every step as she bites her thumbnail._

_“Ali━” Emily tries._

_“Don’t,” Alison cuts the other girl off with a sharp response, unintentionally snapping._

_The brunette sighs, “If you don’t feel well, I’ll tell them━”_

_“Em, don’t. I’m fine,” she says and, when Emily goes to open her mouth, she continues, “I’m just nervous, that’s all. What if they gang up on me? What if this is some━”_

_“Ali,” Emily warns with a head shake, moving closer to hold her fiancée’s hand._

_When Alison looks at her with glistening eyes, she offers a sad smile, pulling the other girl into her arms for a warm hug and a soft “It’ll be okay. I’ll be right here, next to you.”_

_The blonde pulls away and swallows hard when she hears a knock come from behind her. She takes a deep breath and smoothes out her blouse in a nervous manner. Once Alison takes a step towards the door, she looks back at the other girl one last time before twisting the knob and opening the barrier to see an arm-crossed, awkward-looking Hanna Marin. The two blondes stare at one another, Alison a bit more cautious yet open to friendliness while Hanna huffs and passes her on the way through the doorway. The new blonde eyes Emily and raises her eyebrows with a “well, here I am” expression to which the brunette rolls her eyes at. Hanna doesn’t say anything as she walks into the moderately-lit living room, plopping herself down onto one of their two cream-colored couches._

_Alison walks over to Emily and gives her an already-exhausted look, shrugging and muttering, “Well, we’re off to a great start,” as she walks away to sit across from Hanna in one of the three kitchen chairs they had dragged into the room hours prior._

_Emily takes a deep breath and remains standing there, mentally and emotionally preparing herself for the night ahead._

“So, what are we supposed to do?” Hanna breaks Emily out of the internal flashback, speaking with impatience and bitterness.

The blonde continues, “Share secret stories and run-away memories with one another over pink drinks? Sing _kumbaya_ and blow forgiveness kisses? I don’t see any of that happening anytime soon,” she hisses while looking at each individual girl.

“Not with that attitude,” Spencer narrows her eyes and tilts her head, sitting in a chair closest to Hanna and semi-adjacent to Aria, the blonde wedding planner making sure to separate the two in the shorter brunette’s best interest.

Really, everything had been relatively quiet up until the moment, the only noise in the room being a nearby wall clock. Alison and Emily sit across from the other girls with a coffee table in the middle of the room, both uncomfortably sitting in hard, wooden kitchen chairs as their eyes bounce between each of their former best friends. For a while, there was an extreme awkwardness filling the room ever since each girl arrived one by one, but now there’s just… _anger ━_ not to mention mistrust and betrayal; it’s a very thick atmosphere, and Alison truly feels like she’s about to get sick.

“Shut up, Spencer,” the feisty blonde fires back, not missing a beat. “You’re the reason why Aria is practically shaking right now. You’re the reason why she fucking left, in the first place.”

“And _they’re_ the reason why all this shit happened to begin with,” the doctor-to-be raises her voice, looking towards Emily and Alison to get her point across, “but you don’t see me holding it against them, do you?”

Alison and Emily glance at each other for a moment, the blonde looking down at her folded hands afterwards. Spencer looks at them for a split second, partially regretful yet not feeling deterred when she’s being verbally attacked by Hanna.

“Yeah, why _aren’t_ you pissed at them?” Aria finally speaks, albeit quietly, and she barely looks at Spencer in the process; she always thought that Spencer would be the most angry, after everything.

“I never said I’m not pissed,” Spencer corrects, making sure to keep her tone less… snarky. “I just know what having a fucked up family can do to you and, honestly, I don’t blame Alison for leaving. Do you even remember what her mom was like? And, _God_ , she had stalkerish crap to deal with on top of it. Jeez, Hanna, at least━”

Emily looks down at her hands, remembering Spencer’s reaction when she had brought up Alison’s family, even though she didn’t exactly share specific details of that night. The brainy brunette who was driving at the time had timidly glanced at Emily, afterwards shaking her head with a quiet _“I knew they were bad, but I never paid much attention to it.”_ Emily, in the passenger’s seat, didn’t exactly know what she meant, but she never asked because it all seemed pretty understood for the most part.

“A ‘fucked up family’?” Hanna air quotes and crosses her arms with narrowed eyes as she interrupts Spencer, ignoring everything else. “Little Miss Hastings having a fucked up family? _Right_ , okay.”

“You don’t know the half of it, Hanna,” Spencer’s voice sounds like a mixture of disbelief and anger, making Aria flinch in her seat.

Emily and Alison’s eyes furiously bounce back and forth between the three sitting around the room now that everyone is beginning to throw their thoughts back and forth. Aria’s physical appearance is reserved and more than a bit timid, whereas the other two girls look like they’re about to throw down at any given moment.

“I know that they’ve been paying for your schooling since you left Rosewood,” the angry blonde finally speaks again, acting like she just said something super scandalous. “Funny… they pay for you to go to medical school and my mom nearly drank herself into an early grave.”

“My life isn’t all peaches and rainbows,” the taller brunette starts to lose it, leaning further in her seat and running a hand through her hair. “Do you know _why_ and _how_ they agreed to pay for my schooling? Which, by the way, I don’t even want to go through.”

When she doesn’t respond, Spencer asks again, a bit louder, “Do you?”

Hanna remains silent, shifting her jaw as she looks away for a brief moment.

“We agreed that avoiding each other would be best. They’d pay for my schooling as long as I went to a private institution to finish high school, then went to college and medical school. My mom used my original disappearance for the base of her campaign,” she scrunches her face in disgust while tears spring into her eyes.

“‘ _My daughter ran away for God-only-knows what reason, so please vote for me so I can prevent it from happening to your child’_ ,” she mocks before continuing, “then she bragged to others about my impending success once we ‘reunited.’ So, yeah, keep implying I had it easy. Go ahead.”

Hanna breathes out a laugh, “Don’t act like you’re upset with her campaign. Not too long ago, I saw you promoting it on the down-low.”

“What choice did I have, Hanna?! What choice _do_ I have? They’re still paying for my schooling. I can’t drive it into the ground or else I’m fucked!” Spencer yells.

“You can scratch and claw your way to the top like I did. _Without_ help,” Hanna raises her voice so it covers Spencer’s.

“Okay!” Aria steps in, surprising everyone else in the room as they whip their heads to face the girl. “None of us had the best time after leaving Rosewood. This isn’t a freaking contest.”

“Says the girl who became famous with her high school sweetheart,” Hanna focuses on Aria now, earning a glare.

“I didn’t accept your offer to come here so you could belittle what I’ve accomplished, Hanna.”

“Look, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t talk about not having the ‘best time’ when things could have been much worse.”

The shorter brunette’s eyes bug, “Are you _kidding_ me, Hanna?”

Hanna shrugs and tilts her head in a questionable manner as Emily and Alison remain silent. The blonde doesn’t respond; she simply stares at the other girl as Spencer finally slides back into her seat, rubbing at her knees as the room falls into a deep silence ━ which, of course, Hanna decides to break after a few more minutes.

“So,” she directs at Emily, “you brought us here. Talk.”

When the brunette goes to open her mouth, Hanna cuts her off.

“No, scratch that,” her eyes move to Alison who looks down. “Alison, you talk. I want to hear your famous excuse for leaving. What _really_ happened?”

Her voice is conniving and Alison locks eyes with the other blonde in a sinister manner, clenching her jaw and breathing out a bitter laugh.

“Fine,” she starts. “You want to hear what happened? Okay.”

Instead of explaining, Alison’s words die in her throat and she looks like a deer caught in headlights. As the brief period of silence flows through the room, Hanna taps on her ear as if she’s getting impatient, earning a scoff from Spencer sitting nearby.

“Don’t act like you’re not curious, too, Spencer.”

“I am curious, sure, but at least _I_ know that bitchiness won’t get me anywhere.”

“You know what? Fuck you━” Hanna abruptly stands up, purse in hand, and that’s when Emily stands up as well, cutting the other girl off with a shout.

“Calm down,” the brunette hisses at the girl whose nostrils flare. “Sit down and be fucking patient. We all want answers, don’t we? We’re not going to get them out of each other by arguing.”

Hanna rolls her eyes, “What did you expect, Emily? Laughing? Gratefulness? _Hugs_? Fuck that. You lost the chance for that when you left with her,” she points at Alison who stands up next to her fiancée.

Emily grabs the other girl’s hand to keep her from slapping the shit out of Hanna, though it doesn’t stop her anger from finally surfacing.

“Fuck you, Hanna,” Alison bites. “Fuck you and everything you’ve said since you’ve been back. I’m so damn tired of it. I did this, I did that. You could get into a car accident and it’d somehow be _my_ fault when I didn’t do shit.”

Tears well up in Alison’s eyes while she yells at the other blonde who stands there, chest expanding and caving rapidly as she doesn’t blink.

“I didn’t _willingly_ come back into your life, Alison,” she narrows her eyes. “You came back into _mine_. Before that, I didn’t give a damn if you were dead or not.”

Emily takes a step forward, a warning look written across her face while she tilts her head, morphing the expression into that of remembrance.

She hums and then speaks, “So, that conversation we had yesterday… did you mean any of it?”

Hanna looks visibly shrunken back, standing there as she bites her inner cheek. The two other girls sitting nearby bounce their eyes back and forth in slight confusion, Spencer cautiously glancing at Alison who sniffles hard and takes a step backwards.

“What was it you said?” Emily continues. “ _‘We will be with each other’_ ? _‘We have to be’_?”

When the furious blonde in front of her seems caught off-guard, Emily lowers her voice, “Was that a show, or is _this_ the show?” she raises her eyebrows and, now, Hanna takes a dangerous step forward with her anger resurfacing at full force.

Spencer leans further in her seat, making sure to get ready in case anything happens ━ and it does. Hanna lets out some sort of angry laugh, looks towards the ground nearby, and then slaps the other girl across her cheek, backing up immediately as Spencer separates the two of them. She’s only able to keep them apart, however, and Aria has to help keep Alison on the other side of the room so she doesn’t try strangling Hanna, herself. Much to Aria’s surprise, Alison stands there with a rough expression, yet doesn’t attempt to get closer to the altercation. Meanwhile, Emily and Hanna throw jabs back and forth, and Alison catches the tail end of something that her fiancée says, causing her to shrink back.

“Do you hate me now, Hanna?” Emily seethes as Spencer keeps them apart with extended arms.

“Fuck. You,” the other girl stresses both words.

Alison, upon hearing Emily’s tone, freezes; it honestly terrifies her and she soon takes a major step back, Aria shooting her a concerned look as she stands next to the other girl, too awkward to ask what’s wrong. The blonde swallows hard while she watches Hanna bicker with Emily more, suddenly feeling light-headed as she leaves the room quickly. Aria watches her with parted lips, not knowing what to do. When she sees that the other two aren’t going to cool off anytime soon, however, she follows Alison through the back hallway and into the guest room.

As Aria enters the room, she sees the blonde standing near the bed, arms crossed as she stares at the ceiling while taking deep breaths.

“Alison?” Aria’s voice is soft.

“What?” the other girl snaps quickly, though she isn’t facing the brunette who had followed her.

The blonde hands her head immediately, sharply sniffling as she turns around with a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” Alison recovers, taking another deep breath as she only looks at Aria briefly.

Aria shakes her head and rubs at her arms, “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. It’s just… out there━”

“It’s a war zone,” she nods her head in silent understanding.

“I’ve never seen Em like that,” her voice is shaky.

“I’ve never seen any of them like that,” Aria agrees.

Alison whispers, “It’s scary,” and Aria evades her gaze, looking around the room.

“I guess it’s just built-up anger and betrayal.”

“God, this really is all my fault,” tears begin streaming down Alison’s cheeks and she turns around again, this time walking the length of the guest room.

“No, Alison, it’s not━”

“Aria, look at me and tell me it’s not my fault.”

The brunette does as she’s told and looks at Alison, firmly stating, “It is _not_ your fault.”

When Alison shakes her head and begins walking around again, Aria takes the time to explain further.

“I don’t know what happened, Alison, but we _all_ contributed to this. You only got the ball rolling.”

“Like that’s any better,” the blonde looks at the ceiling and breathes out a laugh, only masking a sob partially.

Right as Aria goes to open her mouth once again, Emily nearly passes the guest room’s door but backtracks when she sees the two girls, her eyes instantly flying to Alison who is trying to wipe her tears before the taller brunette can see. Immediately, Emily’s eyebrows furrow at Aria and she gets out a harsh “What did you say to her?”

Aria glares and goes to respond when Alison shakes her head violently.

“It wasn’t her, Emily,” she breathes out. “God, what the hell is wrong with you tonight? First Hanna and now━”

“You’re saying that was _my_ fault? I was defending you, Alison.”

“Well then defend me a little less if you’re going to be that vicious! You were acting like an ass out there,” Alison shouts and Aria glances between the two before walking out of the room.

Emily opens her mouth and then closes it, not knowing how to respond to the other girl. Alison, upon seeing this, rolls her eyes and goes to pass the brunette, however her arm is caught by a gentle grasp on her way by. She backs up to see a few tears in Emily’s eyes, causing her to look away when it hurts her just as much.

The brunette shakes her head, “I’m sorry, Ali. I know I’m not being the best person right now.”

They both take a deep breath as Emily runs a shaky hand through her hair. Alison eyes her fiancée, biting her inner cheek as they stand there with remaining tension floating between them. Suddenly, she whispers a small “Okay,” kisses the other girl on the corner of her lips, and walks out of the room with crossed arms. Emily follows suit soon after, both sitting in their respective, wooden chairs as the three other girls stare at them. Hanna’s arms are crossed as she leans back against the cushions, Aria plays with a ring on her finger, and Spencer holds onto her own hand as her eyes flash back and forth between the couple that gets situated. Overall, the air seems much lighter, though there’s still that nagging, angry vibe, especially when Hanna throws a sarcastic “Welcome back” to the two girls.

“Look,” Emily speaks up first, her voice sounding slightly raspy, “I know that none of you particularly want to be here,” Hanna raises her eyebrows at the statement, “but I also know that you three want to know what happened. After we’ve all said what we need or _want_ to, you can go on your merry way and do whatever.”

Hanna looks away and crosses her arms tighter.

“What really happened that night, Alison?” Spencer’s voice is stern yet a bit comforting.

“My mother happened,” she answers initially, earning an eye-roll from Hanna.

Emily sees this and shoots her another look of warning, causing said blonde to raise her chin slightly before she locks eyes with Alison again.

“Can you expand on that?”

Alison glares at her but explains, “I remember getting threatening messages for a bit. Days before I left. At first, I thought it was someone we knew… like Jenna or Ian, but that assumption fell through quickly. I tried getting more and more answers, confronting people left and right, and I thought I won once the texts stopped coming. Almost like they were scared that I was closing in on them.”

Aria and Spencer listen intently while Hanna eyes the other blonde skeptically. Emily, on the other hand, pays attention to the story while she side-eyes her fiancée, having heard this story a time or two before when she asked what happened. Initially, when she had asked the blonde for the entire, specific story, Alison just said, _“It’s best if you didn’t know everything right now, Em,”_ and Emily nearly lost it. Alison, of course, provided her with minimal details during their first night together in that rusty motel, but it was enough to hold Emily over since she was overtired that day ━ and most days after.

“That night… I was walking around while you all were back at the barn, and I saw my mom in the window,” tears form in her eyes as she gets further into the story, causing Emily to reach for her hand as she squeezes it tightly.

“She saw who did it. She saw who practically impaled me,” she grits her teeth as a teardrop drips down her nose. “And then she buried me.”

_Alison’s nostrils breathe in specs of dusty dirt as she hears slight thumping coming from the space surrounding her body. She vaguely feels a rocky matter between her fingertips, but otherwise her limbs feel tingly and her head… fuck it hurts ━ not to mention the icy, numb sensation that she feels on the back of her skull as blood obviously pours out beneath her._

_“God,” she hears her mother’s voice come from somewhere above her, but her eyes won’t open any wider than a crack, just to peek up and see one of her parents pouring thick dirt on her body._

_She feels her body pass a few coughs, but nothing comes out ━ though she isn’t sure if her hearing is completely gone, or if there’s really no sound. So, she tries her hardest to call out, just to tell her mother that she’s alive and breathing, but her lips won’t part and the words won’t come out. A cluster of swears swirl in her mind, along with regrets of the people she’s hurt time and time again. She’ll never get to tell them how sorry she is now, and she’ll never get to make up for everything she’s done._

_Another large clump of dirt ends up flat on her face, and she’s surprised that she doesn’t puke when multiple pieces of gritty matter pass her lips. Her eyes fly completely shut as she prepares for the inevitable and, as Mrs. DiLaurentis continues to shovel soil onto her daughter who rests in a makeshift hole, the young girl lets darkness consume her._

She finishes the majority of her story through deep breaths, afterwards taking a long time to steady her breathing as the other girls stare at her with varying expressions.

“Are you sure that she thought you were dead?” Aria finally asks, her voice strained.

Three pairs of wide eyes study Alison. Spencer holds her hand over her mouth as her eyes grow misty with every word, Hanna looks as though she’s about to get sick as she hugs her body, and Aria’s mouth remains agape as she stares at the reminiscing blonde with great sympathy. Emily, on the other hand, rubs small circles on her fiancée’s hand using her thumb.

Alison swallows hard to answer the question, “She was hysterical. She kept saying the same thing over and over again. _‘What have you done? What have you done?’_ ” she takes a deep breath, sniffling, “I still don’t know who she was protecting. I still don’t know…” her voice trails off.

“God, I knew your mom was…” Spencer shakes her head as her voice trails off, “but _burying_ her own daughter? How could someone…” she can't get any more words out.

“What happened next?” Hanna’s question is soft and perhaps a bit cautious.

“Mrs. Grunwald, someone who helped me before that, took me to the hospital. I was still scared so I ran. I barely remember what happened after that,” she shakes her head, “but I _do_ remember coming face to face with Mona, and she’s the one who helped me leave Rosewood for good.”

“But she was A,” Aria’s eyebrows furrow. “The original.”

Alison looks away and shifts her jaw, knowing full well about Mona’s ulterior motives.

“She was helping me with money for a while. So was Noel,” she adds quietly. “Then it was just Noel.”

“Noel?” Spencer raises an eyebrow and Alison nods.

In response, the brainy brunette just rubs at her eye sockets and grunts. No one really knows where to go from here, so they sit in silence for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. Emily clears her throat and silently asks if Alison’s okay with a raised eyebrow and a look, earning a curt smile and head nod. The blonde holds onto the other girl’s hand as Hanna glances between the two, breathing out a sigh.

“So,” the wedding planner starts with a new-found impatient tone, “what about you, Emily? What’s your story?”

Emily locks eyes with the girl, glaring a bit as she takes a deep breath.

“Honestly? My story is that I got myself into a dangerous situation, and Alison saved me.”

“Oh, are you kidding━”

“That’s the truth, Hanna. I was looking for Doctor Sullivan and I got trapped in a gas-infused barn. I passed out and, next thing I knew, I was waking up in a strange car while wearing a dirt-covered dress. Alison was there, she gave me the option to go with her or stay in Rosewood, and I chose the first option. I, _myself_ , chose the first option.”

“And, let me guess, you forgave her after two seconds of seeing her once again?” Hanna raises a bitter eyebrow, smiling as if she just won some prize.

“Actually, no,” it’s Alison’s turn to speak. “She was stubborn as all hell, and I was trying to cooperate but━”

“ _Cooperate_?” Hanna breathes out a laugh.

“Just let her speak, Hanna,” Spencer interrupts.

“No, she doesn’t━”

“Hanna,” it’s Aria’s turn to intervene. “She deserves to explain. You want to know what happened? Shut up and listen.”

The blonde rolls her eyes and shoots Alison an expectant look, waiting to hear more.

“She questioned every little thing━”

“Rightfully so,” Hanna tries, earning a “Seriously?” from Aria.

Alison continues, ignoring the other blonde, “It took a while for us to get onto the same page. Something happened and I guess we finally just… got it. It took a few days. She walked away from me in a dangerous area of New York, and… yeah.”

“‘Something happened’,” Hanna quotes with her fingers. “Could you be any more vague?”

Instead of fighting with the other blonde, Alison looks down at her lap, her eyes trying to ignore the scar that currently feels like it’s on fire. Her jaw clenches and she feels more tears springing into her eyes, causing Emily to attempt to change the subject.

“It doesn’t matter what happened, Hanna━”

“Oh, like hell it doesn’t,” she shakes her head. “I want to know what the big thing was that brought you two togeth━”

“I got stabbed, okay?” Alison chokes out, eyes locking with the other girl who finally shuts up.

“Alison━” Spencer tries, only to be cut off by said blonde.

“A guy… he took my phone and just… but it wasn’t that bad, and I wouldn’t let Em take me anywhere because we couldn’t, and…” her voice trails off as her breathing quickens.

Emily notices and whispers to the other girl “Breathe,” before kissing her temple. Aria looks on and smiles softly, though she still grimaces at all of these memories. Hanna chews on her inner cheek and remains silent, her expression unreadable as Spencer’s features show sympathy.

“Who left next, again?” Emily clears her throat, directing the question at everyone else.

“Aria did,” Spencer glances at the shorter brunette who averts her gaze completely and _very_ noticeably.

When the girl doesn’t speak or even acknowledge the topic, Hanna emphatically clears her throat and calls Aria’s name again, though she earns the same response. They sit there as Aria stares at the floor, her breathing shallow as she ignores everyone else.

“Aria,” Spencer speaks again, and the smaller brunette shakes her head heavily, hugging her own body tight as she turns a bit in her seat.

“Aria, please,” the brainy brunette’s voice cracks and then she begins to stutter. “Tell me what I did. I’m… I don’t know… I━”

“Spencer,” Hanna interrupts with a fierce tone, trying to get her words through the other girl’s skull once and for all, “she thought you were on the fucking A-Team.”

Aria shakes her head again, her timid eyes locking with Hanna’s as the blonde leans back in her seat, confused. The planner dips her head, tilting it as if she’s trying to hear better, and that’s when Aria’s soft voice fills the now-quiet room.

“That’s not the only reason why,” she confesses, swallowing hard.

_Aria lies on her back, slightly shifting against the hotel room’s mattress as she sighs at the circumstances surrounding her abrupt stay. After Spencer was “discovered” to be on the A-Team, the brunette had a complete breakdown, first kicking Hanna out and then practically begging Ezra to help her get away. At first, he was reluctant but, eventually, they compromised and he booked Aria a nice hotel room just outside of Rosewood where she’ll be able to stay for a few days. Of course, he’ll be popping in every now and again but, honestly, Aria shook her head when he offered to stay overnight, promising that she’ll be okay and lock everything up at all times; really, she just wanted to be alone for the time being ━ to think._

_It’s 1:03 A.M. and she’s been trying to sleep for the last two hours, however can’t seem to shake her sinister thoughts tonight. They’re louder than usual, unfortunately, and no amount of pillows can quiet the voices, thoughts, and images. She thinks about calling Hanna (actually, she’s thought of it multiple times), but refuses. How could she after she practically shoved the other girl out of her house days ago? And Spencer… oh, Spencer━_

_“You shouldn’t have left,” Spencer’s raspy voice jolts Aria awake._

_But, wait… she wasn’t dreaming, she’s not home, and Spencer’s not━_

_“It’ll be more difficult this way,” her voice sounds again, this time on the other side of the bed and Aria pushes herself up, leaning against the headboard in fetal position as a wide-eyed Spencer stands at the bottom, right corner of her hotel bed._

_“Spence━what? What are━” Aria chokes out, though she’s on the edge of a panic attack._

_The taller brunette cracks her neck and makes a weird groaning noise, forcing out a comical-sounding “I’m so sorry” before she slowly leaves the room after dropping an unseen, kitchen knife onto the floor, keeping Aria’s hotel room door open on her way out._

_Quickly, the smaller brunette scrambles to the door after tripping over her feet a few times. She stands a short distance into the room, staring out into the hall and silently debating whether or not she should check if the other girl is still there. Eventually, after a moment or two more, she peeks her head out of the doorway and doesn’t see the taller brunette down either side of the hallway. Aria breathes out a sigh of relief and closes the door, locking it and then panicking even harder when she realizes that it had been secured before she went to bed. She breaks down right then and there, stumbling back over to the phone and dialing Ezra’s number not even a second later, crying into the speaker, “I need you.”_

All four other girls sit there, silent. Spencer is bug-eyed with lips parted, tears streaming down her face as she scratches at her skin in anxiousness, Hanna’s face is frozen in shock, and both Emily and Alison have their jaws dropped slightly, not blinking at all while Aria takes a few more deep breaths. It takes a while for anyone to speak, but Spencer is the first to break the silence, sucking in a bunch of air and looking at the ceiling.

“I remember that,” she breathes out. “I remember… walking through a weird hallway and smelling everything, wondering why my house didn’t smell like it always does. I remember talking to a few bellhops, and then I… wandered. I didn’t think it was real.”

Aria sits there, slightly side-eyeing Spencer yet not feeling strong enough to look at her completely.

“Aria, I didn’t…” her eyes slam shut. “I was so fucked up. I was on drugs and I guess I just…”

At this, everyone’s face morphs into that of surprise ━ well, except Aria who sits there with a stone-like expression, save the few tears rolling down her cheeks.

“They made me do so many things,” Spencer’s voice cracks again as she begins to cry harder, burying her head in her hands as she pauses. “I thought… I thought Ezra was A, at one point, and I had countless dreams of trying to convince all of you,” she locks eyes with Emily and Alison who purse their lips.

“And I thought I killed you,” she directs the confession at Aria who finally meets her gaze, eyebrows furrowing at the statement.

Spencer pauses another time, taking three deep breathes and bowing her head before she gets the strength to explain.

_She rubs at her eyes and feels something… damp. It’s probably just another dream, she thinks, so she rolls over. Suddenly, when Spencer brings her hands up near her face to itch her nose, the damp sensation returns but, this time, it’s sticky and smells like metal. Her eyes flutter open to, first, view her alarm clock which reads 5:13 A.M., and she groans when her head feels like someone is taking a power drill to her temple._

_When she flops onto her back, her eyes roll back into her head a few times before she can focus. It takes a moment longer before she’s able to lift her hands, but, when she does, they’re covered in blood, and she immediately shoots up in her bed, looking down at her shirt to see that it’s also blood-stained and damp. She looks around the room frantically, trying to figure out what happened when she sees a hotel keycard on her nightstand ━ Aria’s hotel keycard, which she’d gotten where? A day before, Spencer had forced Mike into telling her where Aria was staying, and she was grateful… but where the fuck did she get the keycard from?_

_Her hands shake as she turns them, looking at both her shirt and blood-covered skin, tears welling up in her eyes as various possibilities shoot through her mind ━ including very, very sinister ones._

_“What did I do?” her voice rasps and she’s freaking out now._

_When she stands up, she nearly falls to the floor when her legs feel nonexistent, but she manages to make her way over to the nightstand where a variety of pills are stashed in an old jewelry box. She tries to open it but fumbles quite a few times, beginning to cry harder when her bloody hands can’t undo the lock. Soon enough, she throws the object on the floor, scratching at her scalp and pulling her hair while sobbing._

_Her eyes snap to the box on the floor, medication now spilt everywhere._

_“What did you make me do?” she cries harder, directing the question at the drugs that lay strewn along the floor._

_Black and blue dots cloud her eyes within the next thirty seconds, and she needs to balance herself with the nightstand. Once her vision is clear, however, she looks into the mirror and sees her reflection, touching the glass while more blood pours out of her nose._

Alison shifts uncomfortably nearby, looking at her hands folded in her lap as Emily bites on her thumbnail, sitting next to her fiancée. Hanna crosses her arms and leans back, almost in some sort of defensive manner, as Aria rubs at her own biceps in order to comfort herself. Spencer cries freely, wiping at her face repeatedly as she mumbles repetitive _I’m sorry_ ’s and _I didn’t mean to_ ’s.

“I thought I fucking killed you,” comes another repeated confession, her sobbing practically muffling the entire sentence.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were drugged up, Spencer?” Hanna’s voice is accusatory and, this time, no one plans on telling the blonde to step down.

“Why would I?! On top of everything, you didn’t need━”

“That wasn’t your call to make, was it?” Hanna interrupts the other girl, and Emily and Alison look at one another for a split second.

“God, we would have helped you,” it’s Aria’s turn to speak, and it takes everyone by surprise.

“How, Aria?! _How_?” Spencer snaps, but it doesn’t deter the smaller brunette this time.

“I don’t know,” she snaps back, “but we would have figured something out. We always did.”

“It wasn’t your addiction,” Spencer shakes her head, her voice now much quieter.

Hanna’s eyes bug, “But it affected us too, Spencer. Now that we know… _fuck_ , we were being _tortured_ while you were fried.”

“I couldn’t handle it anymore, Hanna! Any of it. Nothing good was happening. _Nothing_.”

“But we had each other!” Hanna yells back. “You gave up.”

“It was just too much, Hanna, I’m sorry,” she whispers, a tired tone taking over her words.

The blonde rolls her eyes, “Yeah, everyone’s sorry nowadays.”

“I’m sorry, Aria,” Spencer’s voice is barely audible, and she can’t even look the smaller brunette in the eyes ━ which works out because Aria hasn’t looked up from the floor within the last minute.

Again, they sit in silence while Spencer gathers herself. Aria steals glances at the girl, seeming less afraid than she was before she explained what happened. Hanna, between them, stares absentmindedly at the coffee table, not blinking for minutes. When no one else changes the subject after another long period of time, Emily takes it upon herself.

“What happened next?”

“I went back undercover, this time _with_ Hanna,” Spencer shrugs, sniffling a bit. “We made a plan to corner A. Toby, Mona, and I.”

“You were working with Mona?” Alison quirks an eyebrow.

“Briefly. We didn’t know it, though. She was in the dark about A’s identity just as much as we were,” she mumbles.

“Yeah, and that worked out great,” Hanna rolls her eyes and huffs. “I thought I was going to die in that lodge.”

Once that last word leaves Hanna’s mouth, Alison’s eyes snap upwards, begging to meet the other blonde’s before she continues but the girl isn’t staring back at her. As Alison’s fingers anxiously drum on her knees, she looks at Hanna in a pleading manner, but the girl’s too busy looking at Aria to make sure she’s okay. For a moment, she thinks about steering the conversation away with an abrupt change in topic, but, instead, she swallows hard as Spencer starts again and, when Hanna’s eyes lock with hers for a split second, she thinks that everything will be okay ━ but that assumption soon fades when she realizes that Hanna didn’t really _see_ her.

“I really thought it would work,” Spencer stresses, running a hand through her hair. “Everything was carried out accordingly, but clearly I was wrong.”

“Well, at least we made it out alive,” Hanna rubs at her eyes.

“What happened?” Emily’s eyebrows furrow, and Alison wants to crawl into a hole as her fingers drum even faster, looking around the room frantically; really, she’s surprised no one has commented on how anxious she looks at the moment.

“A fire,” Spencer bites her bottom lip. “A really big fire. Set by A, I guess. I don’t know anymore, but I still taste the smoke.”

The room falls silent once again, and Alison can barely breathe in the meantime. After another minute passes, she thinks that someone is going to change the subject, but then Hanna speaks in a shy manner, directing her question at the anxious blonde without exactly looking at the girl.

“Was it really you?”

Alison’s nostrils flare and her jaw clenches in a far-beyond-nervous manner as Emily’s eyes wander to her fiancée, curiosity eating away at her. Hanna waits, suddenly having no courage to look at Alison as she fiddles with her fingers. Truthfully, for years, she believed that Alison had only been a figment of her imagination because of how close she was to being out cold for weeks, but then she began to remember the smell of Alison’s perfume, and how concerned she looked. Spencer waits for the answer as well, though she has a clearer idea than Hanna does regarding the answer because of the other blonde’s hesitation. No one notes Emily’s obviously-curious body language, and they wait for Alison’s answer, though the blonde can’t exactly speak because she’s so close to throwing up.

After another minute, Alison nods gently and she looks down to the floor, making sure to watch Emily out of her peripheral vision. Much to her discomfort, the brunette scratches at her knees and looks away with a very deep breath ━ and what sounds like a sinister laugh ━ clenching her jaw as her body language becomes cold. Hanna and Spencer finally catch onto Emily’s reaction and immediately feel a tinge of guilt, though it isn’t exactly their fault ━ Alison should have told Emily and they realize that, but they can’t exactly help but feel bad for the couple. Hanna, in a way, still loathes Alison for everything that had happened ━ not to mention the fact that, clearly, she’s still keeping secrets ━ but she really does wish that they could patch things and move on. Spencer, on the other hand, shakes her head in sympathy and averts her eyes; she knows that she, herself, can’t fix anything. Meanwhile, Aria sits there awkwardly, not knowing what happened since everyone is seemingly dancing around specific details.

“And after that?” Emily gets out, though her throat feels like it’s closing up quickly.

“I left,” Spencer senses their impending argument and decides to keep things short. “I left without a word, and I moved on.”

“And then I left with Caleb,” Hanna detects the same and has some sort of mutual agreement that they should leave soon.

When the other three girls sit awkwardly, Alison takes a chance and reaches for her fiancée’s hand, however the brunette quickly shifts and clasps her own hands together in her lap, forcing a smile to the others who, now, face the couple once again. Suddenly, everyone’s phone chirps, and each girl’s heart drops at the sound, cautiously pulling out their respective devices and breathing out a sigh of relief when they see that it’s only an emergency weather alert for the area.

“I better go before the storm gets here,” Aria is quick to get up, gathering her bag and throwing it onto her shoulder. “Um… call or text me if you need anything. Maybe…” she trails off, a sigh flowing through, “I don’t know. We’ll see how we all feel, I guess.”

The girl’s voice is quiet, but Alison nods her head when she sees the hesitation. Aria flashes Spencer and Hanna a pair of curt smiles before she sighs again, turns around, and leaves. Once the front door slams shut, Hanna looks at the couple and bites her lower lip when she sees Emily’s body language and Alison’s nervousness. She bows her head slightly, muttering a quick “Alison, can I see you for a minute?” and walking into the kitchen so no one else can hear. The other blonde follows quickly, hastily looking back at her fiancée who still has her jaw clenched as she stares at the coffee table.

Before they’re fully in the kitchen, Hanna is speaking.

“I really didn’t mean to━”

“I know you didn’t, Hanna. It’s fine,” Alison tries to put the other girl at ease, though she isn’t the happiest.

“We aren’t on the best terms, well… we’re on pretty shitty terms, but I really wouldn’t━”

“Hanna, I know,” she speaks more sternly. “It’s my own fault.”

“Okay,” the other blonde breathes out, hanging her head and crossing her arms as they both stand there awkwardly.

Truthfully, Hanna is taken aback by the fact that the other girl so willingly admitted that it’s her fault since, well, she’s never seen that side of Alison ━ _never_ , especially considering that she’s been M.I.A. from everyone’s (except for Emily’s) life for years. It’s impressive, the wedding planner thinks, that Alison really has, apparently, changed; internally, she scolds herself for not giving Alison an unbiased judgement from day one but, also, she knows that she has her own reasons.

“I didn’t mean what I said before. About you being dead,” Hanna sucks up her pride and apologizes. “I guess I was searching for a low blow.”

Alison raises her eyebrows as she evades the other girl’s gaze, wringing her own hands; she wants to voice her thoughts, but she can’t find the strength to ━ not now, at least. Instead, she asks a general question, her voice even more quiet than previously.

“Do you think that we could start over?”

Hanna shakes her head, totally caught off-guard by the question, “I don’t know.”

The other blonde bows her head again, slightly in rejection, though she figured that’d be the answer.

“But we could try,” Hanna finishes, taking both of them by surprise.

Before either of them get a chance to speak again, Spencer walks into the kitchen with her own bag slung over her shoulder, a regretful (and a bit pained) expression falling over her features upon seeing the two blondes talking in such a hushed manner.

“I’m leaving,” she barely looks at either of them at first. “It looks like we’re going to get hit pretty bad and I promised Toby I’d be home beforehand.”

“Okay,” Alison’s voice is quiet as she tries not to cry.

“Call me if you need anything,” Spencer offers Alison, giving her a regretful expression.

“Thanks,” she turns away.

“You can, too. If you need anything,” she speaks to Hanna now.

The blonde girl sighs slightly, offering her a tiny smile and a head nod.

With that, Spencer leaves and latches the front door behind her as Hanna remains standing in front of Alison. Neither of them break the silence, and they’re not sure if it really feels awkward but, eventually, Hanna sighs.

“I don’t…” she tries, but the rest of her sentence fails to come out. “I don’t know.”

Alison looks at the other girl with a quirked eyebrow.

“Sorry, I’m tired,” Hanna rubs at her eyes. “I’m going home too.”

Immediately, Alison feels her heart sink, even if she understands that 1) Hanna isn’t the happiest around them, and 2) there’s a storm coming, so Caleb probably wants her home. She must have made a panicked expression because, suddenly, Hanna’s eyes show severe sympathy.

“Em loves you,” she reminds the timid girl. “Obviously _I’m_ not your biggest fan, Alison, but even I know it.”

A tear falls from Alison’s eye and she hugs her own body.

“Fix things,” Hanna speaks again. “Stop lying and just… fix things.”

The other girl just nods.

“I’ll talk to you guys soon,” and, with that, Hanna throws her voice into the living room where Emily still sits, offering the brunette a goodbye before she walks through the front door. Immediately, Alison shuffles over and locks the barrier, not turning around afterwards. Instead, she stands there and stares at the wood, breathing deeply as her eyes slam shut. When she finally turns to face Emily, the brunette remains staring at the floor with an empty expression covering her features. Alison waits for a sign to speak, but, when she finds none, she tries anyway.

“Please, just━”

“Don’t,” Emily holds a finger up and her voice is cold, causing Alison to physically recoil and wander into the kitchen.

The blonde is at a loss and her eyes are permanently widened as she leans against the center island, arms crossed with parted lips; she’s never heard that tone come from Emily ━ not directed at her, at least ━ and, if she’s being honest, she never wants to hear it again. Her eyes well up with tears quickly as she leans against the center island, rubbing at her eye sockets and taking sharp breaths when she looks up at the ceiling.

Suddenly, her breathing stops when she hears a loud thud, but she knows that it’s likely Emily just kicking something angrily, so she bites on her lower lip and looks at the floor, wishing that it would just swallow her whole. She internally screams at herself for not telling the other girl the truth from the very beginning but, as always, she truly thought that she was protecting Emily in some, weird way. And it’s not like she never _wanted_ to tell her; Alison just never found the correct time to confess, and that’s how she excused the entire lie.

“Tell me what happened,” Emily’s cold voice causes the blonde to snap her head upwards, tired, red eyes locking with the brunette’s broken, brown ones as she stands only steps into the kitchen.

“I wanted to tell you when it happened,” she starts, but the other girl shakes her head in protest, a sob ripping through her throat as she sniffles hard.

“You lied to me… for years,” the girl looks completely shattered, and Alison’s cheeks are soaked with tears.

“I━”

“Even when you proposed… you _knew_ you were lying.”

The blonde’s hands shake by her sides as she looks around the room frantically, her tears never stopping as the other girl’s gaze practically burns a hole through her temple. Truthfully, she had forgotten about her trips to Rosewood after her and Emily had agreed to cooperate. Really, Alison shouldn’t have forgotten, especially because of that massive fire, but she wasn't lying when she said she just… blocks things out.

“I went to Rosewood a few times. I told you that I had to work late… and I took a bus to Rosewood to check up on everyone. Usually, I stayed for thirty minutes maximum,” she takes a deep breath and slams her eyes shut, “but one time I followed them to that lodge and, _God_ , it was engulfed in flames faster than anything I’ve ever seen. I had to save them… I just _had_ to.”

Emily shakes her head in disbelief, eyes widening with every second that passes. Alison, upon seeing the reaction, feels her lip quiver when the other girl looks at her with such distrust and betrayal. She cries harder when the brunette takes a step back, crossing her arms in a defensive manner.

“Ali, I thought we were in this _together_.”

“We are.”

“No, we’re not,” Emily shakes her head again, gritting her teeth.

“I told everyone you’ve changed, Ali, I━” she continues, taking a deep breath when she chokes up. “I stuck up for you. Against _everyone_. For years now. Even before you left, I…” she can’t continue this time, and her eyes widen as she shakes her head harder, almost knocking herself off balance.

“Emily━”

The brunette’s voice is completely drained as she rubs at her face, her hands shaking similarly to the blonde’s, “What else have you been lying to me about, Alison?”

"That's it, Em, I swear," Alison's tone is uneven and she swallows hard.

"How do I know that for sure, Ali?! You told me that you stopped visiting Rosewood once we left! How do I know if you're telling the truth now? After all these years..." her voice trails off.

"Em━”

“God, after all these years, how do I know if _anything_ was real?" the brunette looks up with a quivering lip and tears flooding down her cheeks: a sight that's enough to make Alison break into hysterics.

"I promise," Alison's voice is deep and she's choked up.

"What about _us_?" her voice is practically inaudible, more tears flooding to her eyes as her mouth opens and closes a few times. “I don’t know where the truth begins and the lies end.”

The blonde chokes on a sob, “I love you so fucking much, Em. I'm not lying to you. I would never lie about that.”

When she takes a step forward, Emily moves further away, shuffling backwards and nearly stumbling. Her expression is cold and completely empty, and it causes Alison to fully break down as more and more tears flow; at one point, the blonde truly believes that she’s going to pass out at any moment. The brunette, seeing this, hesitates and feels the urge to comfort the other girl, but she shakes her head gently, instead.

“I’m going out for the night,” Emily sucks in some air and swallows, though her throat is extremely sore and tightened from trying not to fully fall onto the floor.

“No,” Alison shakes her head sternly, “it’s going to storm and I don’t want━”

“I don’t care right now, Alison,” Emily chokes out and forces herself to stop crying.

Alison, on the other hand, doesn’t hold back any tears ━ she doesn’t want to and, really, she can’t afford to be stubborn tonight.

“Em, please, don’t go.”

“I’m sorry,” Emily takes a step back when the other girl moves forward again. “I need to breathe.”

That one hurt, Alison internally chokes, and her eyes visibly widen as more tears stream down her face.

“Let me come with you,” she gets out through an oncoming sob.

“No, Alison,” she takes a deep breath, “I have to think for a little.”

The brunette bites her inner cheek and looks at the other girl with foggy, sunken-in eyes as she backs up, mutters a sad “Please, don’t follow me,” and exits the kitchen. The sound of the front door unlatching and slamming shut can be heard nearby, though Alison now slides down against the kitchen island, ending up on the floor where she cries into her own arms for the next hour as an impending storm approaches rapidly. Within the hour, she hears thunder shake the house, and lightning illuminates the dark kitchen as her tears pool along her tucked-in knees, causing her to tilt her head back and slam her eyes shut.

Eventually, when the blonde finally gets up with a sore back and blurry vision, she slowly makes her way to the bathroom, kneels on the ground, and throws up into the toilet, breathing heavily once she’s heaved every last bit of her stomach contents. The taste makes her eyes water again, though her head begins to throb at the sensation since she’s been crying for over an hour.

So, after sitting on the bathroom floor for another fifteen minutes, she forces herself up the stairs and into bed. She pulls her phone out of her pocket (since she didn’t even bother changing out of her clothes) and sends a “ _Stay safe_ ” text to the brunette, another tear falling once she doesn’t even see a _“Delivered”_ receipt underneath the message.

Her thoughts run rampant as she lies there, staring at the ceiling with a dazed expression. Really, she knows that it’s all her fault, and she really _should_ have told Emily ━ or even invited the girl to accompany her on the multiple trips to Rosewood ━ but she never found the words, and she just wanted to keep the girl safe. Alison blinks once as she remembers the large, plush elephant, and she makes her way over to the reading area in order to grab it. Without wasting any more time, the blonde slides back into bed and, eventually, cries herself to sleep while keeping a death grip on the stuffed animal.

 

X X X

 

Alison’s eyes flutter open around 3 A.M. after hearing the sound of a door latch somewhere in the house. At first, she panics as she turns towards Emily’s side of the bed, ready to shake the brunette awake so they can check it out together, however finds no one sleeping beside her. She bows her head and hugs herself tightly before sliding out of bed and looking down the hall. She sees nothing, even with the hallway light still on because she was too nervous to turn it off, so she cautiously walks downstairs, descending the steps quietly as thunder continues to flow, albeit much quieter than before.

When she turns the corner and looks into the kitchen, Alison feels as though everything is moving in slow motion with no sound, especially when she sees Emily’s engagement ring on the counter next to a tear-stained note. Her heart sinks immediately ━ well, there’s not a proper word for how she feels ━ and she’s surprised that her legs even function enough to bring her over towards the piece of paper and ring. The blonde’s face turns pale when she approaches the two items, swallowing hard as she feels ten times more sick than she did before she fell asleep. In some scary way, however, no tears fall just yet, but her hands shake as though she’s killed someone.

At first, she thinks it’s some sick joke and Emily hadn’t written this note but, when she sees the brunette’s unmistakable handwriting, the girl has to turn away for a moment in order to gather her bearings. Alison, after taking a deep breath, finally reads the note, her eyes scanning each and every line, noting where tears had fallen onto the piece of paper before her own teardrops finally begin to cover the girl’s words.

_“Alison,_

_I got your text and I’m safe, so please don’t worry._

_I don’t really know what to say or write, honestly. I think you’re already aware of how much I wish you told me the truth so I guess I don’t have to say it again. I’m hurt ━ to say the least. The one person I’ve always trusted… has been lying to me for years and it stings. Have you ever trusted me at all? I stuck up for you, in front of everyone. Against everyone. I told them you’ve changed but…_

_I don’t know. I love you, Alison. I really do. I want you to know that. But, for now, I can’t wear this ring if it means more to me than it does to you. I can’t think with it on. It just feels so fucking heavy now._

_I’ll be back in a few days and maybe then we can talk. For now, please don’t message me. I meant it when I said that I need to think, and maybe you do too._

_Stay safe._

_━ Emily”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is why we have a (mostly) fluffy Christmas story to read while you wait for Ch 11; check out “A Rosewood Blizzard” for your (four-day) daily dose of fluff. You’re welcome. 
> 
> Before you attempt to form some kind of angry mob, let me remind you that 1) I hold the power to put these two back together (already written and ready to go), and 2) Emison is endgame. I don’t care if me saying that spoils the “unknown.” Like… sorry (not sorry), but they’ll be back together. Honestly, sometimes I want to be like “Sorry for this one” at the beginning of chapters, but I know that’d ruin the “omg” factor, so… 
> 
> To address your impending #?! reactions, I’m also #?! ━ honestly, as I was writing the end of this chapter, I felt like crying. Mostly because I have an extreme soft spot for Emison, but also it’s just really heavy. This walk-out situation was intended to mirror Emily’s original leave (in Ch 2), so we’ll obviously see Alison dealing with the aftermath (similar to Ch 3), especially since we’ll be staying with Alison for the next multiple chapters.
> 
> So, I have some questions for you, and I’d love it if you’d answer them in some reviews:  
> Who thinks Emily’s reaction (to walk out) was completely justified, and who thinks she kind of… overreacted? I feel like it’s debatable because, really, this happened years upon years ago. I’d be angry in her situation, but I’m not sure if I’d walk out. Additionally, who thinks that Emily really overreacted when leaving a note and her ring? Or, again, was it a valid reaction? I’m curious.
> 
> Anyone surprised by Hanna slapping Emily? I was thrilled (even though, yeah, I’m the one who wrote it). Also, Alison finally bit back at Hanna, but then they had a sweet moment (which I was stoked about because I got to use their infamous jail conversation). And Spencer vs. Hanna vs. Aria is always interesting to see. Side note: I don’t know about you, but I’d be 100% out of Rosewood faster than the speed of light if I opened my eyes to see Spencer standing at the foot of my bed ━ especially if I already thought she was on the A-Team. 
> 
> This chapter was a mess. Let’s just leave it at that.
> 
> I apologize for writing yet another lengthy author’s note, but this was the first high-point of the story. Yes: first.
> 
> Next update: Tuesday (the latest). 
> 
> Until then, check out “A Rosewood Blizzard”, PM me, answer my questions in the form of reviews/comments, talk to me on Tumblr (“capn-charlie”), make voodoo dolls, etc. I’ll be keeping an eye out. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays or, if you celebrate something entirely different or don’t celebrate anything, have a nice few days as well.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back.
> 
> Most of the reviews I received for Ch 10 start off with "Wow" and I'd have to agree with you. Much wow. Additionally, a lot of you agree that Emily might have… *makes various hand motions* overreacted. Sure, Alison lied, but I think we all agree that communication is key ━ always. As for Emily leaving her ring… it's interesting. If you re-read what she says in the note, she writes, "But, for now, I can't wear this ring if it means more to me than it does to you," which is different from her leaving the ring solely because she wants to; basically, she'd love to wear the ring, but she feels as though it's meaningless if Alison can't be completely open with her. I feel for Emily (both of them, actually). It must be hard taking off a ring that means so much to you solely because you feel as though it doesn't mean enough to the person who gave it to you.
> 
> Now that we've made it a full however-many days living with the pain of Emily leaving (and, additionally, leaving the ring), we can get this show on the road. I've gotta say beforehand… I think many people are expecting them to be thrown back together within a chapter, leading to them making up another chapter after that. To those people: Bear with me. Take TM&HS for example; I take my time gluing these characters back together. Nevertheless, like I said previously… we'll get there. Yes, I dug myself into a small hole by totally tearing these two apart, but I have my ways…
> 
> Who's ready? (Not me).
> 
> Okay, I'll meet you at the bottom.

_“I’m sure she’ll be home soon, Ali. Like she said, she’ll be back in a few days. It hasn’t even been one yet,”_ Spencer’s voice comes through Alison’s cell phone speaker as she massages her temple at the kitchen table.

“No, I know,” Alison swallows hard, her voice extremely hoarse.

Overnight, she had gotten three times more sick. Really, she doesn’t know if it’s due to emotional stress, her prior cold making another round, or a combination of both; all she knows is that, around 5 A.M., she began puking much like before she had found the note except, this time, she had nothing to puke up. Quickly, she became dehydrated, almost to the point of passing out, before she forced herself to drink some watered-down juice. The chills returned also, and the blonde (begrudgingly) put on those warm, fuzzy pajamas, smiling softly when she remembered her fluffy argument with Emily a few days prior. She didn’t sleep much (if at all) due to worrying about the girl whom she loves, plus her body temperature wouldn’t allow it. So, up until the current time (5:23 P.M.), she’s been trying to juggle eating (without overeating), staying hydrated, and resting as much as she can. Thankfully, it’s Saturday, so she doesn’t have work today or tomorrow.

It was only recently that she gave Spencer a call, though hesitant at first. Initially, Alison wasn’t even sure what she’d say to the other girl aside from “I fucked up,” but, technically, everyone already knew that. She was surprised, however, when Spencer picked up the phone and automatically began comforting her as much as possible, offering things such as _“Yeah, you did mess up by lying, but I know it was out of protection,”_ and _“She has a right to be upset, Alison, but you and I both know that she can’t stay away from you for too long. It’s like you two have some, extraordinary gravitational pull,”_ she laughed into the phone, causing Alison to chuckle for a short moment.

 _“What are you going to do until she does come home?”_ the brunette asks, a cautious tone taking over.

“Well,” Alison sighs deeply, “right now I’m getting ready to head down to the corner pharmacy. I need something stronger than Motrin or Tylenol, and that’s all Em bought the other day,” she rolls her eyes.

 _“Okay,”_ Spencer sighs as well. _“Call me again if you need anything. I’d be happy to stop by, if you’d like.”_

“I’ll let you know. I might want some company, but I don’t want to get you sick.”

_“I don’t care about that, Alison. Just let me know.”_

“I will. Thank you.”

 _“Take it easy,”_ comes the final words from Spencer, followed by a “You too” from Alison who hangs up afterwards.

The blonde remains sitting at the kitchen table for a while longer, occasionally glancing at Emily’s ring that still lies on the center island. She feels her own ring, looking down to adjust the piece of jewelry with two of her other hand’s fingers. Tears well up in her eyes as she swallows hard, yet she doesn’t cry ━ she _can’t_ cry; she feels like she’s cried herself out for the entire week. So, when Alison slams her eyes shut, she earns that familiar sting and grimaces at the sensation, chewing on her chapped bottom lip and peeling the skin until it reveals a speck of blood.

She rubs at her eye sockets and pushes her chair away from the table, causing a loud scuffing noise to fill the kitchen’s formerly-silent air. It’s weird, Alison thinks, how the entire house seems to have… _died_ ever since Emily walked out ━ like it’s a part of them, as a whole.

Walking over to the front door, she grabs Emily’s navy blue hoodie off one of the hooks and wraps herself in it, smiling softly when it still smells like the other girl. She grabs for her keys and purse, opens the door, then shuts and locks it behind her before she bounds down the front steps. Her eyes scan the driveway, lingering on the area where Emily’s car is usually parked, and she has to force herself to look away when her chest feels heavier. Before she steps onto the sidewalk, Alison checks her purse to make sure that she has her wallet and phone. When it’s confirmed that she’s all set, the blonde begins to walk down the street at a very slow pace.

She starts to think about everything that happened yesterday, from the other girls’ initial arrival, up until her argument with her fiancée (or former fiancée…), and sighs as she takes a turn with the sidewalk. One thing that stands out in her mind, however, is how Hanna actually seemed open to starting over, especially after she realized that Alison is still lying to Emily. Alison shakes her head at the thought; maybe Hanna _shouldn’t_ be so forgiving. All Alison knows is that, when or _if_ Emily comes back, something’s gotta give, and there’s going to need to be change ━ _genuine_ change.

A few cars pass by while she walks, and she snuggles further into the hoodie she’s wearing when a gust of wind flows through the street. It’s pretty cold outside, especially due to last night’s storm. Alison steps in a puddle, semi-intentionally because she just can’t help but enjoy the splashing sound it makes ━ something that Emily’s teased her for time and time again on their nightly walks. When the memory fills her mind, Alison smiles and hugs her own body, having new-found confidence that Emily _will_ return, and maybe things will work out. Suddenly, an uglier thought beats the other one out, forcing Alison to wonder where the brunette slept last night. Did she rent a hotel room? Did she stay at a coworker’s, or a friend’s? Did she stay with one of the girls (aside from Spencer)? Surely, the blonde thinks, Emily wouldn’t have slept in her car for the night; Alison knows she fucked up big time, but the other girl wouldn’t _willingly_ sleep in a cramped car, during a storm, would she?

Alison almost gets run over by a bicyclist who appears out of nowhere, and she stops for a moment to ease her racing heart. Shaking her head, the girl continues on her path to the pharmacy, sighing thankfully when the building comes into view: a simple, brick structure surrounded by other businesses, stationed _just_ at the end of a busy, city-like block.

She enters immediately, walking through the various aisles and picking small things off of the shelves. Alison first moves over to the medicine aisle, trying to find something that’ll help with her throbbing headache, runny nose (okay, that’s because of the crying), soreness, and slight fever. While Alison’s looking at the various boxes, she feels as though she’s being watched, and timidly looks up to see a store employee standing nearby.

“Need help finding anything?” he asks once Alison’s eyes are on his.

“Oh, um,” she shakes her head in response, “yeah. I need something stronger than Tylenol,” they both laugh at her description.

The man walks over, searching the shelves to find something that’ll be her best fit. Once he finds what he’s looking for, he hands her a small box with a kind smile.

“Here. This should help with whatever. It’s good for anything from simple soreness to a complex cold.”

“Thanks so much,” Alison smiles back as she tosses the box into her basket.

“Anything else I can help you with?”

“No, I think that’s it. Thank you, again.”

The worker gives her a head nod and disappears when he enters the next aisle while Alison walks away, wandering off to the drink area where bottles are stuffed into wall-inserted refrigerators. She picks out a bottle of orange juice for the next morning, hoping that it’ll help her sporadically-appearing sore throat. When the blonde turns around, she feels herself being watched again, yet pegs it as nothing when she can’t see any other store employees in the area. Shaking her head, she walks up to the registers and throws a bag of cough drops onto the counter at the last second, smiling once the transaction is over. The cashier offers a short “Have a nice day” and Alison returns the sentiment with a slight “You too.” Before Alison leaves, she stuffs her items into the purse she'd brought, and takes a deep breath before bracing herself for the walk home.

Two sliding doors allow her to exit the pharmacy, but she’s stopped almost immediately by a familiar, dark brown-haired man: Noel Kahn. It takes her a minute to react but, when she does, he’s already talking.

“Well, if it isn’t Vivian Darkbloom,” his teeth shine through his smile. “How’ve you been?”

She tries to smile but fails, especially because she knows he’d call her out on it if she flashed him a fake expression.

“I’ve been okay,” she settles on saying.

He waits a moment, nodding as he looks towards the street.

“ _‘Okay’_ as in…?” Noel tries, tilting his head.

“I’m fine,” she forces the words to come out but straight away feels like throwing up again.

“Are you _sure_ you’re okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I’ll be fine. I just need to get home,” Alison tries, tears already springing into her eyes as she passes him.

Noel catches her wrist ━ not harshly, but not too gently, either. She turns back with anger, and that’s when he releases his grip, taking a step back with surrendering hands.

“I’m sorry,” she shakes her head, “I’m just…”

“Not okay?”

Alison bites her bottom lip and looks away.

“I get it, Alison,” he says, but Alison just wants to slap him because no, he really doesn’t.

“Em left,” the blonde whispers, a tear actually falling from her eye in the process.

Noel’s eyebrows raise and he looks taken aback, humming a curt sound as he looks around the street.

“For good?” comes his eventual reply. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “She said she’ll be home in a few days, but I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t come back.”

“It’s her loss.”

“No, it’s definitely mine.”

Alison stands there, hands shaking as she clears her throat and tries to control her tears, but she can’t, and her blue eyes water even more than before. Noel senses the breakdown and wraps her in an awkward hug ━ not because they’ve never hugged before, but due to the amount of time it’s been since they’ve even spoken. She stiffens when his arms are around her, but forces herself to hug him back, mostly because she just wants some sort of comfort right now.

Noel backs up, “I’m staying just outside of Jersey City while I’m here for a small meeting. You can come back with me if you’d like to vent,” he offers her a smile.

“I don’t know,” Alison shakes her head. “I want to be home just in case Em comes back.”

“Alison, if she comes back, it’s for a reason. She’ll stay until you return too.”

She hesitates, opening her mouth and closing it when she has no response.

“Come on. It’ll be just like old times,” he opens his arms in a comical manner and she breathes out a laugh while rolling her eyes.

“I don’t remember _ever_ venting to you about _anything_ ,” Alison raises an eyebrow.

“Sure you do. There’s that one time,” they begin walking towards his car which is parked in a nearby lot.

“Why are you around here, anyway? Jersey City is like… twenty minutes from here.”

“I was trying to find a place one of my friends told me to go to, but I couldn’t. I thought he said it’s on this street,” Noel looks at the street sign, shrugging.

“What kind of place?”

“A bar.”

Alison nods, more so to herself since the only bar in the area is Emily’s, and she’s not sure if she wants to trust Noel with that information just yet. They reach his car quickly (a black Mustang), and Alison slides into the passenger’s side, though she feels like walking back home for a moment. She forces herself into the car, however, hoping that talking to someone face to face will make her mind and body feel lighter. He slides in and starts the engine immediately.

“Are you sure you want to come?” he asks a final time.

“Yeah,” Alison nods, though she’s really _not_ sure.

“Alright.”

He starts onto a main road, taking the vehicle through the New Jersey streets. Although Alison is looking out the window, she occasionally feels Noel glance in her direction, causing her to shift in the passenger’s seat as she listens to the faint hum of the radio. Her eyes scan the area as they drive, remembering when she and Emily had first arrived in the state.

_“Aw, look at the cute little restaurants,” Alison smiles big as she’s practically glued to the glass window._

_“Ali,” Emily chuckles while driving, “they look the same as they did in New York.”_

_“Okay,” she drawls, “but these feel… new.”_

_“I guess.”_

_“Come on,” Alison shoots her a pointed look once she’s turned around. “You can’t tell me that you’re not excited about this move. Aren’t you happy we’re finally starting over?”_

_“I’m just nervous, I guess,” the brunette shrugs. “We’ve never exactly made a big move before, and what if I fail at being my own boss? Then what?”_

_“We’ll deal with that when or if we have to,” Alison tries to provide comfort._

_The other girl bites her lower lip, still worried._

_“Em, just focus on us, okay?” the blonde’s voice sounds sweet. “You and me, in a new town with new jobs, starting a better life together. Isn’t that worth the nervousness?”_

Noel cuts the car’s engine and it breaks Alison out of her thoughts. Overall, the ride took ten minutes longer because of some Saturday traffic ━ not to mention that it’s now nearing six o’clock ━ but the blonde shakes her head because she must have zoned out for most of it. They step out of the car once they’ve pulled up to a two-story motel-looking building, though it’s much nicer than all of the motel’s Alison’s stayed in. She fastens the purse on her arm as she focuses on the lot. The place seems pretty busy, judging from the amount of cars parked in front of the first floor’s porch, and all windows have industrial-looking flower boxes. She smiles at the aesthetic, laughing when she realizes that it’s totally _not_ Noel’s personality.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s so cute,” she speaks in a babyish tone.

He shakes his head, “It was the only thing available at the last minute.”

“Your company didn’t pay for your trip ahead of time?”

“They didn’t pay, at all.”

“So, _you_ had to pay for your own trip?”

“Money isn’t everything, Alison,” he snickers.

Alison hums, nodding her head slightly as they ascend steps to reach the second-floor porch. She follows Noel who moves over to room number seventeen and unlocks the door with ease, pushing the white barrier open to reveal a cream-colored room with brown decor. She passes over the threshold and walks the length of the room, casually looking at the furniture as if it were _actually_ interesting.

“Want anything? Water, soda, vodka?” he throws out some options, though the last one was more of a joke.

Alison shakes her head, “No thanks.”

He leans against the extended TV stand after grabbing a water bottle out of the mini fridge. Alison looks around the room, not knowing where to situate herself, but she eventually settles on sitting on the edge of the mattress, straight across from Noel. Once her bag is placed on the floor next to the bed, she looks at her hands and rubs her palms together, hugging her own body afterwards.

“I’ve never seen you so torn up over someone,” he comments, “or even _something_.”

She raises her eyebrows, “Yeah, well, Em’s more than just a someone.”

He nods, “So, what happened? Why’d she leave?”

Alison swallows hard, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have━”

“No, it’s just… the question. I know why she left, but I hate that it’s my fault.”

“How?”

“I should have told her everything,” she shakes her head again. “I should have told her about my visits to Rosewood, about seeing Spencer again… _everything_.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I thought I was protecting her,” a tear falls.

“You can’t always protect her, Alison,” he looks at her, forehead creased.

“I can try.”

“Yeah…” he drawls, “but clearly she’d rather you two work as a team.”

Alison sighs, “I know. I just wanted her safe. I thought that, if she knew I was going to Rosewood, she’d either be angry with me or she’d want to go. I couldn’t risk that.”

“But you _did_ risk something by going alone, _and_ by not telling her.”

The blonde rolls her eyes, hugging her own body tightly as Noel stares at her from across the room.

“You’re a real pain, you know that?” Alison speaks with a shaky laugh, moving over so he can sit next to her.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “but it’s part of the whole package.”

She playfully scoffs, looking away as her throat tightens up.

“I’m sorry, by the way,” she looks back towards him a split second later, “for everything that happened before.”

“You mean the time you blackmailed me into oblivion?” Noel narrows his eyes with an amused grin.

“I’m trying to apologize, here.”

“It’s all water under the bridge.”

Alison nods, and that’s when they lock eyes with one another. He smiles big, laughing at Alison who raises an eyebrow at the sudden expression.

“What?” her eyes widen.

“Nothing,” his laughter dies down, “just nothing.”

“No, tell me.”

“I just didn’t expect to see you today,” Noel shrugs, slightly shifting closer. “You look good, Alison.”

She offers him a tight-lipped smile and looks at her hands again.

“I don’t feel good,” comes the blunt response.

“Trust me, okay?”

The blonde bites her inner cheek and looks away, not liking that particular phrase at the moment. What _is_ trust? Do certain people even deserve it? She feels a sickening sensation swirling in her stomach, and she hugs her body tighter ━ which Noel comments on.

“It’ll be okay, Ali.”

He wraps his arm around her shoulders, though her body stiffens at the gesture. Even if he noticed, he doesn’t do anything about it; Noel only pulls her closer, and she doesn’t struggle because, well, she doesn’t exactly have the energy right now. She backs up, however, and goes to say something while searching his features, but he leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of her lips, his stubble brushing against her soft skin before she gets the chance to move away. Alison quickly places a few feet between them, which means she’s now sitting on the _very_ edge of the mattress, and that’s when he speaks again.

“I’m sorry,” Noel shakes his head. “I read the situation wrong.”

She doesn’t respond.

“To be clear, I _did_ read the situation wrong, right?”

Alison’s mouth opens as she searches the room for an answer. Honestly, she wishes she could get some sort of payback against Emily for walking out on her ━ though she knows it’s deserved ━ but definitely not this way; she doesn’t want to fuck up their relationship even more by merely kissing Noel, never mind anything further. Her ring feels heavier with every, silent second that passes, and she suddenly feels like throwing up again. Her heart belongs to Emily, that’s for sure, and, right now, she’s not sure why her thoughts are being so intrusive that she even debated letting Noel kiss her harder ━ even if just for a moment.

“I have to go,” she shakes her head, grabs her bag, and bolts for the door, but she’s stopped when he calls after her.

“Alison, here, let me drive you home.”

“No, I’ll catch a cab,” Alison flings the door open and steps onto the second floor’s platform.

“Alison,” he calls again.

“Look, Noel,” she stands on the staircase’s landing and shakes her head violently. “I love Emily more than anything in the world. I’m vulnerable right now, and I’m sorry that I made you think anything other than the fact that I just need a friend.”

He stands there, speechless, as she runs down the steps and across the parking lot.

Alison’s heart races and her eyes become blurry as she jogs down the sidewalk as fast as she can (without collapsing because of her body ache). Eventually, a taxi catches up to her and she slides into the backseat with ease, leaning her head against the headrest once she’s told him her home’s address. Her mind goes through a constant cycle of _“Why are you such an idiot?”_ and _“Why didn’t you just tell the truth, in the first place?”_ causing her eyes to slam shut with that stinging sensation she’s become accustomed to. Really, Alison just wants to pick up her phone and text Emily a really long message of how sorry she is, how upset she is, and the truth about what just happened, but she’s granting the brunette some well-deserved space, so she leaves the device in her purse as the vehicle advances back towards their house.

 

X X X

 

“Here,” Spencer sympathetically hands Alison a cup of tea before sitting down on the cushion adjacent to her.

“Thanks,” she whispers back, her sleeves covering her hands so only her fingertips are showing.

The brunette eyes her, making sure that Alison takes a sip of the tea in order to soothe her throat.

When Alison first called, she sounded like a complete wreck over the phone, and Spencer immediately drove over to the blonde’s house. It didn’t take too long, but it was around 8:50 P.M. when she finally arrived, and Alison opened the door with sunken-in eyes and a red nose.

_“You look horrible,” Spencer stresses._

_“Yeah,” the response is barely audible, and Alison raises her eyebrows._

_“Have you been eating or drinking anything?”_

_“Crackers and juice every now and then. Toast maybe once,” she shrugs._

_“I’m making you some tea,” the brunette moves into the kitchen, Alison in tow._

_The blonde sighs, “I don’t think we have any.”_

_Right as the words come out, Spencer deadpans as she flashes the girl a pair of tea bags while she stands behind the center island, having pulled the items out of her own purse. She begins to search through Alison’s kitchen, casually attempting to find a pair of mugs and, possibly, a tea kettle._

_“Go sit down,” she instructs upon seeing Alison lingering in the doorway._

_“Do you need any h━”_

_“No,” Spencer raises her eyebrows in an authoritative manner, “go sit down.”_

_Alison’s forehead creases, “Well, fine.”_

“So, what happened? You sounded kind of panicked over the phone,” Spencer places her mug down onto a coaster which rests upon the coffee table.

Alison sighs, “I ran into Noel today.”

Spencer quirks an eyebrow.

“I know,” the blonde agrees with the reaction. “I almost literally ran into him when I was leaving the pharmacy. We talked a little, he offered to let me vent about Em, and then we went back to his motel room in the city.”

“Mhm,” Spencer hums as she follows along with the story, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Alison swallows hard, “And then he kissed me.”

The other girl’s mouth opens slightly as she leans back into the couch, a curious yet concerned expression crossing her features.

“Did you kiss him back?”

The blonde shakes her head violently before speaking again.

“I didn’t, but something in my head kept telling me to,” she looks at her ring, fiddling with the piece of jewelry as she explains, “just so I could get back at Em, I guess. The thought really bothered me to the point where I felt physically sick, so I ran out and caught a cab.”

“I think that’s a normal thing, Ali,” Spencer shrugs. “Humans are designed to want to ‘get even’ when they feel threatened and-or hurt.”

“I don’t want to be human, then,” her hands shake and she hugs her body again ━ a reaction that’s become part of her arsenal of defense mechanisms.

“Did you tell Emily?”

“I haven’t heard from her!” Alison’s voice cracks when it raises a level, causing Spencer to offer her a sad expression when she sees the blonde’s eyes watering heavily.

“ _God_ ,” Alison breathes out, “what if I _never_ hear from her again? What if she never comes home? Then what? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that.”

“Don’t talk like that, Alison,” Spencer warns with a stern head shake. “She even said that she’ll be back.”

Alison shakes her head in response, looking away.

“What if… she lied, just to get back at me for lying? Maybe she has no intention of coming home. She could be in California by now, for all I know!”

“Alison,” Spencer's voice is louder than before, hoping to get the blonde to stop freaking out, even just for a moment.

When Alison looks at her with those same, watery eyes, she continues, “She’ll be back. Breathe.”

Alison does as told and takes a few deep breaths, followed by gently sipping her tea which Spencer does as well. Silence fills the air while Alison gets sucked back into her destructive thoughts, which is why Spencer speaks again.

“Tell me your story,” she tilts her head. “Your relationship story, I mean. How did it finally come about?”

Alison smiles softly, even though she feels pretty shitty right about now; truthfully, not many people have ever asked the question and, even if they had, Alison’s sure that she would’ve tried to give minimal details ━ mostly due to the couple only knowing “strangers” for the last few years. It’s nice, she thinks, that Spencer sounds genuinely curious.

She looks at her hands, “I think I’ve always loved her,” the blonde confesses, slightly glancing at Spencer who doesn’t seem all that surprised.

“Even before I left…” Alison sighs, “I think I was just too stuck up to allow myself to _feel_.”

The brunette tilts her head in slight agreement and the other girl rolls her eyes.

“So, when I finally got her back into my life, I promised myself that I’d make things right. No matter what it’d take. That didn’t last long,” she lets out a sad laugh. “Em and I fought almost immediately after walking into my New York safe house, just a day after we ran away. I was under-the-table waitressing at a bar… a _sleazy_ bar…”

Spencer looks down when she puts two and two together.

“I thought I was going to go crazy once she left. She was out there, _somewhere_ , in one of the worst parts of New York… and it was because I was too stubborn to consider her feelings.”

Alison breathes out deeply, clearing her throat when she remembers what happened next. Although she technically told the girls what happened a day prior, she feels compelled to rehash the events again.

“I went looking for her every day. She was gone for less than a week, but I felt so damn depressed after the first day. First _hour_ , even. That’s when a man took my phone and stabbed me in the thigh,” she slams her eyes shut.

“Alison, you really don’t have to━”

“No, I do. If you want to hear the story, then this is a big part of it.”

The brunette leans back against the couch, bringing her legs onto the cushion so she can wrap her arms around her knees and get comfortable.

“It wasn’t deep and I knew that already, but I could barely move. It was raining and I was in so much pain,” the blonde grimaces, “but then Emily showed up. She tried pleading with me to let her call 911, but I refused. We couldn’t risk it. So, she helped me back to my apartment. And… when we got there, I tried to take care of the cut but, _God_ , it hurt so bad.”

Spencer gets a gross taste in her mouth at the thought of the event, her eyes carefully watching Alison as she basically relives the memory.

“I tried to apologize for what happened before, but she told me nothing else mattered. I think, in that moment, I realized how deeply she cared for me and, even if I was a stubborn asshole, she’d push her anger aside just to take care of me. I didn’t want to take advantage of that anymore, and I wish I never had in the first place.”

The other girl nods, “She always admired you so much, Ali. Even after you left. It’s like she never forgot what your presence felt like.”

Alison offers a sad smile.

“When did you two start… _dating_?”

The blonde lets out a slight laugh, “Well, first, we ‘accidentally’ kissed a few times, basically like we had before I disappeared from Rosewood, but this time she was the one pushing me away.”

“How do you _accidentally_ kiss someone?” Spencer arches an eyebrow with a smirk.

Alison shrugs, “We both wanted comfort, I guess, and it sort of… happened. Usually I initiated it. She only did a time or two.”

“Jeez, Alison, how many times can two people _accidentally_ kiss?”

They both laugh while the blonde shakes her head.

“We started officially dating eleven months after we ran away. It was sort of a mutual agreement, and we decided to give it a shot. After all, we were living together and there weren’t _too many_ arguments. It was nice. Almost like we were already married.”

Her voice trails off towards the end as she fiddles with her ring, Spencer noticing and making sure to keep Alison’s focus on the topic at hand.

“And you two stayed together all this time?”

“Yup,” comes the initial reply, “there were times after a year or so when I could feel Emily pulling away, but we actually talked things through. Turns out, _I_ was the one putting walls back up, and we both tried harder after that.”

“Wow,” Spencer raises her eyebrows as she sips her tea.

“We moved here together, and it felt like everything was finally falling into place. I proposed this past December━”

“ _You_ proposed?”

Alison quirks an eyebrow, “ _Yeah_ , why?”

The other girl shakes her head and shrugs, “Nothing. I always just pictured Emily proposing.”

“I could tell she was too nervous to do it,” Alison smirks. “We’d walk into a jewelry store and she’d suddenly get super fidgety and practically pull me back through the doors so we could leave. At first, I felt offended, but then I understood.”

Spencer snorts at Emily’s anxiousness, shaking her head when she realizes it’s classic Emily. Alison’s smile fades and she flexes her hand slightly, the piece of jewelry burning her finger with every passing moment that Emily doesn’t call and/or come home. The brunette sitting nearby looks at Alison with a sympathetic expression, letting the silence linger for a few seconds longer until she finds a good time to break it.

“You know,” she starts, “just the other day, I was in awe of how close you two are now. It’s so different, Alison. I know I haven’t been in your life for quite some time, and I can see that you’ve changed as a person, but I’m sure you’re still that stubborn, fierce Alison DiLaurentis and, for her to put up with _that_ girl for a number of years… it has to mean something.”

Alison bites her bottom lip and several tears make their way down her cheeks as she looks up at Spencer, forcing a smile when the other girl offers one of her own. The blonde chokes out a laugh and nods, sniffling before her face falls back into that same, regretful expression. The other girl notices and tries to get her point across again.

“She’ll be back, Alison.”

“I’m not so sure,” she searches the coffee table for a more-solid answer.

“Well,” the other girl shifts along the cushions, getting even more comfortable, “you have me for the entire night, so you better have a more-positive attitude by the time I leave tomorrow morning.”

The blonde smiles (albeit she rolls her eyes playfully), “Thank you. For everything.”

Spencer nods in understanding.

“And I really am sorry for━”

A silencing hand is raised in her direction, “I really want to move on, Alison. I know you’re sorry,” and her eyes show genuine acceptance.

Alison mimics the other girl’s previous nod, once again looking down at her hands as the night rolls on.

Over the course of the next few hours, friendly stories are flung from girl to girl as they share memories, some sweet and others not so fun to relive, occasionally extracting more tears. Alison explains how she felt when she found out that her mother had died (A.K.A. not all that affected), and Spencer surprised the blonde when she was super understanding and almost empathizing, though Mrs. Hastings is very much alive. The two watch movies together, but, as the picture rolls on, Alison finds herself playing more and more with the ring on her finger while she also feels a magnetic pull towards Emily’s which remains sitting in the kitchen; she just wants to go into the kitchen and snatch the piece of jewelry so she can hold it as tight as she can ━ almost as if it’s the last part of Emily she has in her possession, even if that’s not true.

Eventually, Spencer falls asleep on the couch whereas Alison drifts in and out of her own dreams on the other, adjacent couch. Really, the blonde wakes up every now and then, just hoping she’ll open her eyes and see Emily walking through the front door with open arms. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen, and the blonde’s blue eyes slam shut once again, a few tears leaking out of the corners as she cries quietly, careful not to let the other girl hear. She gasps for air a few times and buries her face into the back of the couch, crying hard into the fabric when she remembers the day’s events and that dreaded note that also still sits on the counter. Her nails scrape at the cushions while she grits her teeth, her hands balling into fists as she wraps Emily’s hoodie even tighter around her body, practically hiding herself in it.

After another hour of harsh, silent crying, Alison gets fully sucked into her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel for Alison. I really do. Buuut… at least she has Spencer who genuinely adores Alison/Emily's relationship. I think that type of support system is somewhat rare (considering what they've been through) but very, very important.
> 
> Alison is very complicated ━ all the damn time. Writing for her is so interesting, though. She's so vulnerable and self-loathing, but she has so much pride and hard-headedness that it's very polarizing. For this chapter, I wanted to show her maturity; she's grown up a ton, coming a long way from the young, snarky teenager she used to be. I mean… it's clear she wants some sort of upper hand when it comes to what happened with Emily. Like Spencer said: "Humans are designed to want to 'get even' when they feel threatened and-or hurt." The important thing is that, although Alison wants "revenge," she's finally mature enough to decipher whether or not she needs it. Here, we can see Emily is worth more than revenge or "power": "I don't want to be human, then."
> 
> Moving on: *Whispers* Noland… you frisky seed. I mean… up until the moment when he put some moves on Alison, he was pretty insightful. Kinda weird, also kinda random.
> 
> I know Emily didn't return this chapter, but we'll see her again very soon. I told ya'll previously that these chapters are meant to mirror Ch 3 when Alison was wracking her brain trying to find Emily, and I'm going to hold true to that. It'll be bumpy, but we'll get there.
> 
> Additionally, Ch 12 will be very flashback-heavy, and they're pretty darn emotional. It's one of my favorite chapters (if not my absolute favorite).
> 
> Next update: Sunday (the latest) ━ A.K.A. New Year's! So, I guess I can be corny and use the joke "I'll see you next year."
> 
> Hope everyone is still enjoying this story, even if it's such a big clusterfuck right now. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it, and we're a little more than halfway through, so I'm enjoying these final chapters with you guys. For those wondering: This story has twenty chapters and an epilogue chapter.
> 
> Have a nice day/rest of the week. I'll be back to kick off your 2017 year with an emotional bang. Until then, message/comment/do everything I always ask you to do whether it's on here or via message at "capn-charlie" (on Tumblr). Thank you for your continued support.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll, I haven't seen you in a year… wow…
> 
> Anyway. My New Year's weekend (so far) consisted of Harry Potter. That's pretty much it. What about yours?
> 
> I've wanted to post this chapter for like… three days now, but I promised myself I'd wait until the new year, therefore here I am.
> 
> Read and meet me at the bottom for a hella long author's note (sorry not sorry).

Alison bites her thumbnail as she paces back and forth in front of the kitchen island. It’s a rainy Sunday evening, just a bit past five o’clock, and her nerves are beginning to eat her alive ━ not to say they weren’t beforehand; she just had more things to distract her, A.K.A. Spencer, personal workouts, and Disney movies (which she only watches when she’s feeling vulnerable or cuddly).

For the majority of the day, she’s felt fine in the sense that her “cold” seems to be fading. Her nose is clear for the most part, her body isn’t as sore, and her throat feels okay. Unfortunately, Alison still feels like throwing up every now and again, but that’s likely due to the entire situation instead of her own health.

This morning, Spencer left around nine o’clock, regrettably having to tear herself away from the broken blonde girl huddled into the couch’s corner. 

_ “Do you want me to stop by after work?” she offers with a sad smile. _

_ “Spence, the jail is at least forty-five minutes away from here. I’m not making you come back after a long shift, and I’m sure Toby wants to see you.” _

_ Spencer sighs, “It’s really no problem, Alison.” _

_ The other girl nods, swallowing although her throat is killing her from being constantly choked up. _

_ “I’ll call you if I need something.” _

_ “You swear?” _

_ “Yes, Spencer. Thank you, again.” _

With that, the other girl left and Alison ran upstairs, immediately throwing her shirt off although she ended up covering her chest when she felt too exposed ━ even if no one else was around to see. A quick spark of anger flooded her veins, and she flung the workout room’s door open as hard as she could, causing a loud noise to vibrate the entire second floor. She slid on some sneakers and kicked at the standing, firm bag, attempting to release everything that she’s been holding inside. Kicks turned into punches ━  _ rapid  _ punches ━ until her body grew sore and sweaty as she leaned against the bag, slightly hugging it. 

Next, Alison made her way across the hallway to clean herself off. What was initially going to be a quick shower turned into another harsh sobbing session while the blonde’s chest felt like it was constricting. Her throat felt like it was on fire (and, well, it  _ still  _ does), causing her to choke on her own cries as she attempted to clear her eyes while exiting the confined space. Once she stepped onto the foam, bathroom rug, the girl dried herself off as she approached the mirror. She swallowed hard upon seeing her bloodshot eyes and dark circles, noting how gross her face looked from the constant crying. Shaking her head, she left the bathroom and changed into a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and Emily’s hoodie, eventually feeling comfortable enough to settle down and watch a few movies in the living room as she’d wait for Emily to return home ━  _ hopefully _ . 

Unfortunately, those hopes died quickly when the brunette never walked through the door, nor did she call or text. Alison grew more worried by the passing hour, constantly checking the clock and her phone simultaneously. Throughout the day, she even forgot to eat again and, honestly, the thought of food makes her feel like throwing up. Multiple times, she wondered if she should take a chance and text Emily herself, but she’s been determined to give the other girl space like she asked.

Alison runs her hands through her hair as she continues to pace, letting out some distraught and conflicted noise as her tired feet carry her from wall to wall. Without wasting any more time, she grabs her cell phone off the center island and dials Spencer’s number. The other girl picks up almost immediately, and Alison begins talking straight away.

“She’s still not home, Spencer,” her voice cracks. “I’ve been waiting, I’ve been… I don’t know. I’m panicking. What if something really did happen? What if she’s lying in a ditch somewhere?”

_ “Woah, woah, Alison, slow down,” _ Alison can almost hear Spencer shaking her head.

The blonde takes a deep breath and leans her elbows on the countertop.

_ “She said she’ll be home in a few days,”  _ Spencer reminds.

“It’s been a few days! I haven’t heard from her at all!”

_ “Calm down. I’m sure she’s just trying to think everything through before she comes back. She probably doesn’t want to walk out on you again, so she’s making sure her thoughts are clear before she comes home.” _

“If she really loved me, she’d be back by now. It shouldn’t take her this long to…” tears fly into Alison’s eyes and she presses her forehead against the cool countertop. “I wouldn’t be this easy to ignore for days.”

_ “Don’t do that, Alison. Don’t even imply that she doesn’t love you. It’s not fair, and you know it.” _

“Then why won’t she just come home?” she cries, and Spencer remains silent for a minute, just listening to the other girl break down. 

_ “I don’t know what you want to hear, Ali. I wish I did,” _ Spencer confesses.  _ “I really believe that she’s trying to get things straightened out before she faces you again and, when she does finally come home, you two have a lot to talk about.” _

Alison stays silent, wiping at her eyes. 

_ “I’ll tell you what…”  _ Spencer starts again,  _ “I’ll drive around a bit, and I’ll keep an eye out for her. If you’re really worried, call the others and ask them to do the same. I’m not sure if Aria is still around, but just let her know we’re looking for Em.” _

“Okay…” her voice is tiny and a sniffle comes after. 

_ “I’ll be here if you need anything else, okay?” _

“Mhm.”

_ “Talk to you soon. Relax, Alison. You’ll see her again in no time.” _

The blonde doesn’t respond. Instead, she hangs up the phone and massages her right temple, placing the phone back onto the countertop before making any other moves. For a moment, she debates on dropping the entire “mission,” but quickly shakes her head and picks up the device once more, dialing Aria’s number as if her life depends on it. 

_ “Hello?”  _

“Hi, um,” Alison slams her eyes shut and her voice sounds tired, “it’s Alison.”

_ “Oh,” _ Aria’s tone displays surprise,  _ “what’s up?” _

She clears her throat, “Em’s missing. Well, I mean, she walked out not even an hour after you guys left the other night, and she said she’d be home in a few days…” her voice begins to shake and no more words come out.

_ “Oh my God, Alison, what happened?”  _

“I lied to her. I lied,” she takes in a huge breath, “about going back to Rosewood years ago. I never told her. I was trying to protect her and, well, that worked out great.”

She hears Aria sigh,  _ “Is that why everything got super quiet the other night? I didn’t realize… gosh, Ali, have you heard from her at all?” _

“She came back sometime after walking out. Around three in the morning, I think. I walked downstairs to find a note and her engagement ring sitting on the kitchen counter. After that, no. She asked me not to contact her.”

_ “She left her ring?!” _

Alison doesn’t answer, but another, lone tear falls. 

_ “This is my last night in New York, but do you need anything while I’m still here? I’m heading back to Connecticut tomorrow, but if you really need something…” _

“Actually, can you just… look out for her? I’m scared, Aria. I don’t know where she is, or what she’s doing…”

_ “Of course. Do you want me to ask some of my guys to look for her? They’re good trackers,”  _ she tries to joke.

“No, can you do it, please? I just don’t want anyone scaring her off. I’ve already done that enough,” Alison mumbles. 

_ “I’ll let you know if I find her. Call or message me when you hear from her, just so I know.” _

“I will. Thank you.”

Both girls hang up, and Alison puts the device down again, biting her nails and wondering if she should skip informing Hanna on what’s happening. She takes a few deep breathes and slams her eyes shut, hanging her head as she debates. Before making a decision, the girl stretches her legs backwards in hopes that she’ll defeat whatever knots are attacking her limbs ━ and it’s a success, especially when she feels her back crack. Now, it’s time to call Hanna, and she takes another deep breath before her shaky hands find the other blonde’s number. Without any more hesitation, her thumb taps the girl’s contact, and she holds the phone to her ear.

_ “Yes?”  _ it’s not the friendliest greeting, but it could definitely be much worse, and Alison chews her inner cheek, wondering if this was a bad idea. 

_ “Hello? Alison?” _ the voice comes again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry to call you on a Sunday, um…”

Hanna sighs,  _ “It’s fine. Do you need something?” _

Before the other girl can finish her question, Alison is talking again, her tone sounding cold. 

“Emily left.”

_ “Oh,”  _ she sounds like she feels…  _ guilty _ , and Alison isn’t exactly sure why, causing her to narrow her eyes ━ though Hanna can’t see.

“You haven’t seen her, have you?”

_ “No, no I haven’t,”  _ Hanna breathes out,  _ “I just… I felt like it was going to happen. I’m sorry.” _

“I deserve it.”

Silence.

“God, I should’ve been honest all along.”

_ “You may deserve it, Alison, but she’ll be back.” _

“Yeah, Spencer keeps saying that too, but Em’s been gone for days. I haven’t heard from her, and I just keep staring at her damn ring.”

Alison hears the sound of Hanna taking a deep breath, almost like a sharp inhale, before she’s speaking again with a cautious tone and hushed voice.

_ “Her ring’s there?” _

“She brought it back hours after she walked out. I was asleep at the time, but I woke up to a door slamming downstairs.”

A quiet  _ “Jeez, Em” _ can be heard on the other line, almost as if Hanna is silently scolding the other girl for walking out. Alison looks around the room, not too fond of the growing silence. She hears the other girl clicking something, possibly a pen, until she breathes out a heavy sigh. 

_ “Do you need something, or did you call to let me know what happened?” _ her voice isn’t sassy or bitter; she sounds like she’s genuinely wondering, and Alison chews on her lower lip. 

“You two always had a stronger relationship than any of us,” Alison starts, shaking slightly. “Can you… let me know if she stops by to see you? I’m not sure that she will, but if she does…”

_ “I really don’t think she will, Alison,”  _ Hanna pauses,  _ “but I’m almost done with this weekend work, and I’ll drive around after. I need to clear my head, anyway.” _

“Thank you. I’m sorry to bother you and the others with this… I know it’s my own problem, but I’m just worried.”

_ “I know you are. I am too.” _

“Why are you worried?”

_ “Because I know what goes through someone’s mind when they feel like everything they know is actually shit.” _

Alison stays quiet, barely breathing.

_ “I didn’t mean it like that, Alison, but I meant what I said the other night. Stop lying and just fix things. That’s all it takes.” _

She nods, afterwards remembering that the other girl can’t exactly see her through the phone. Either way, Hanna breathes out yet another sigh and continues.

_ “I’ll call you later.” _

“Thanks.”

When she hangs up the phone, her legs shake and she just wants to sleep it off; Alison wants to clear her head, make her body feel weightless, and, well, gain some energy back. So, she huffs and forces her body into the living room where she sits down, stretching along the cushions. She thinks about their bed and how comfortable it used to be, but her mind refuses to sleep in it while she's alone; her thoughts never shut off, creating an endless night. The bed gets cold, Alison thinks, and she hates the feeling against her skin when she already  _ knows  _ she’s alone ━ she doesn’t need to be reminded by the sinister feeling of the bed sheets. Alison blinks hard for a few seconds, biting her lower lip when all she can hear is deafening silence aside from the ticking of a nearby clock.

_ “Do you really have to go?” the blonde pouts hard, somewhat hoping that the face will make the other girl change her mind.  _

_ Emily chuckles, “Yes, Ali, I still have to go. I haven’t changed my mind since the last time you asked… five minutes ago.” _

_ Early morning light shines through their bedroom windows, and Alison rubs at her arms as her pout turns into an actual frown, walking away afterwards. She begins to wring her hands as Emily watches her with curiosity and a tinge of sympathy, not understanding why her leaving for one, entire day is getting the girl so upset; the brunette has left before for an all-day staff-training session, so why is this time any different? _

_ “Alison,” Emily narrows her eyes with growing wonder, attempting to use a stern yet comforting voice so the other girl will turn around where she stands. _

_ “Hmm?” Alison purses her lips, eyes darting along the floor as her back still faces the brunette who lingers on the other side of their bedroom. _

_ “What’s going on?” _

_ “I don’t know,” she finally faces Emily, breathing out a heavy sigh as she tries to avoid those brown eyes, “I just really don’t want you to go.” _

_ “It’s not like I’m choosing to leave,” a sad smile is offered, but the blonde bites her bottom lip and nods as she looks at the floor between them. _

_ Emily continues, approaching the other girl, “I’ll be back later tonight. It’s only a day. Not even an overnight. I’ll be here in a few hours, sleeping in our bed… with you.” _

_ Alison wants to roll her eyes at “a few hours,” but she doesn’t. Instead, she looks downwards again. Meanwhile, Emily rubs her hands along Alison’s arms, hoping to calm the girl down. The blonde smiles shortly after, though it’s still partially hidden by a sad facade, and Emily pulls her into a warm hug, meshing their bodies together completely as she drags her nails along Alison’s back. _

_ “I hope you know that I’m always here, Ali. Even when I’m not physically spending the day with you, my presence is still here, and I’m still wishing that you’re in my arms.” _

Alison looks around the room, scratching at her forehead as she tucks her knees up to her chest. She takes deep breaths as her eyes slam shut, slightly rocking back and forth as she attempts to keep herself occupied. Soon, her head lies down against her knees, and she rubs her lips together.

“I don’t think I believe that anymore,” comes the whisper, more so to herself ━ unless the brunette’s presence is  _ actually  _ there.

She can’t get comfortable whatsoever, but she decides to force herself to sleep, so she stretches out and lies against the cushions, attempting to get as warm as she can. Her shaking hands reach for a bunched-up blanket, and she drapes it over her body. The time reads 6:27 P.M. as she checks her phone one last time, and she groans because, if she sleeps now, her mind won’t be able to shut off during the actual night ━ no matter where she attempts to sleep. Before she has any chance to debate her choice, much to her surprise, sleep takes over like a heavy cloud, and the girl’s phone falls onto her chest as she rests her cheek against her own shoulder. 

_ “It’s okay. You’re with me now,” Alison lays the other girl’s head down in her lap, playing with her hair as gently as possible. _

_ “Alison?”  _

_ She can barely keep her tears at bay as she looks down at the dazed brunette. The girl’s eyes look straight at her, but Alison can tell that she’s not completely there ━ not after her latest near-death experience in that dreaded barn.  _

_ “Is this what dying is?” Emily’s sweet voice brings the other girl back to the situation at hand, and she forces a smile so the girl doesn’t worry. _

_ “Do you know who A is?” the next question comes as she tries to focus, failing miserably as her voice comes out near-completely incoherent. _

_ Alison sighs and looks around, mumbling “Why’d you even come here?” to no one in particular, however the girl on the ground hears, and her eyes dart around the scenery above the blonde’s head. _

_ Suddenly, her brown eyes begin to droop as barely audible mumbles come forth, causing Alison’s own eyes to slam shut in regret. The brunette’s head rocks back and forth as her breathing slows partially, but the jumbled sounds keep flowing from her lips. That’s when Alison realizes that the girl is barely there at all. She swallows hard and looks around, trying to figure out what to do; she knows she can’t just leave Emily here on the cold ground with no one else to help out in case there’s something severely wrong.  _

_ “You can stay here or you can come with me,” Alison whispers close to Emily’s face, desperate for an answer.  _

_ The other girl mumbles again, but her fingertips twitch against Alison’s hand, and the blonde looks down with more tears flooding to her eyes. Finally, she makes a decision and stands up, somehow wiggling her arms underneath Emily’s body as she tries to stand her up-right. The girl’s body only half-complies, and it takes most of Alison’s strength to drag the girl’s dead weight to the car, an arm around her waist while the other keeps a firm grip near her wrist. The two reach Alison’s beat-up car within a minute or so, and that’s when the blonde shoves her into the passenger’s seat.  _

Alison hears the car door slam much louder than she remembers, and she jolts out of her dream. Her eyes are practically thumping, and she struggles to read the time but manages to catch sight of the numbers through the massive blur: 9:51 P.M. A groan erupts from her throat when she stands up and stretches, her back cracking again as she grimaces. She sits there, just staring ahead at the wall before her text tone sounds, causing her to jump.

**S** ━ “Nothing yet. Do you want some company for a bit?”

The blonde tosses her phone onto the coffee table without responding, rubbing at her temples immediately afterwards. Truly, she didn’t think that any of the girls would find and/or hear from Emily, but she figured they’d be a great asset to her “search.” After all, each, individual girl always claimed, _ “We’re stronger when we’re together,”  _ and, although Alison never necessarily believed it before, maybe they’re right; maybe, as one unit, they would have gotten shit done instead of having to run away and break each other’s hearts. 

“Whatever,” Alison says aloud, mostly to herself. 

She forces her body off of the cushions and snatches her phone before walking through the kitchen, making her way into the bathroom so she can splash some water on her face. That takes five minutes in total, having looked into the mirror again and, upon seeing her reflection, grimacing at the sight. Internally, she wonders if her confidence will come back once Emily does but, really, she doubts that it’ll ever return ━ and maybe it shouldn’t; maybe Alison deserves to feel timid for the rest of her life. The girl shakes her head and exits the bathroom, eventually throwing her phone onto the kitchen table before moving over to the fridge. 

It’s in her best interest to eat something and she knows that, but what? Her stomach hasn’t really been able to handle anything substantial and, honestly, she just wants to guzzle some of the cabinet’s tequila until she passes out for the rest of the night. Opening one of the snack cabinets, she picks out a box of cereal and makes a weird face, not too keen on eating dry cereal but knowing that it’ll probably be best right now. As soon as a piece of cereal hits her tongue, she makes another face, hastily chewing on the dry food and trying her hardest not to spit it out. Really, it’s not that she doesn’t  _ like  _ eating cereal, but her taste buds are making everything seem stale, and she’d much rather just…  _ not  _ eat. Unfortunately, Emily’s caring voice is ingrained into her memories, and she knows that her health is important no matter what. 

Her backside hits the countertop as she leans against the cabinets, eating as much as she can without stuffing herself. The floor becomes extremely interesting for whatever reason, and her eyes are glued to the tiles within a few minutes. She barely blinks, and it’s only when her eyes feel desert dry that she actually slams them shut, her headache starting to re-form. Suddenly, her phone’s text tone sounds from the table, and she brushes off her hands before moving over to look at it. It takes her a moment to focus on the words, but, when she does, her jaw clenches slightly. It’s from Noel, and the message makes her heart feel hollow:

_ “Meet at our old spot.” _

Her throat tightens up and she automatically feels gross because of the day before, followed by an extreme fear when another text comes through:

_ “We’re going to make a trade.” _

Alison’s eyes water, knowing full well that it likely has something to do with the brunette, yet the girl hopes that she’s completely wrong. Without thinking, her feet bring her to the basement steps on instinct, and she flings the door open. Her eyes float up to the ceiling because, fuck, she hates their basement so damn much ━ or  _ any  _ basement, really ━ but there’s a reason for her legs carrying her down those dusty, creaking steps. She reaches the concrete basement floor quickly and takes a sharp left, rounding the staircase’s corner and coming face to face with a hidden closet underneath the stairs. Her breath hitches in her throat for the time being while her shaking hands absentmindedly punch in that specific safe combination. 

She fucking  _ hates  _ the thing, but it comes with slight comfort, especially when A could still be out there ━ and maybe she’s about to look him in the eyes. Her hands delicately wrap around the dark-grey and black gun, pulling it out of the safe without looking at the object ━ she refuses to. 

“Okay,” she breathes out.

Her fingers fumble through the safe and she prepares the weapon, making sure it’s loaded like Emily had once taught her when she first got it licensed.

_ “Em, I know you think we need it for protection, but…”  _

_ “Alison, it’ll be locked up and only we’ll know the combination. My dad had one and he never had to use it. It’s just a peace of mind, okay? If you really don’t feel safe with it in the house, I’ll store it somewhere else, but it just makes me feel better.”  _

It didn’t take long for Alison to give in. She agreed that the other girl could keep it locked in the basement as long as she didn’t have to see it or hear about it, but, once it was in their possession, Emily gave her a quick lesson on what to do and how to use it. Alison was never fond of guns, and she never will be. In fact, it’s weighing her hand down so heavily and, honestly, it burns.

Nevertheless, the blonde sucks it up and runs up the stairs with the pistol’s carrying case in hand, immediately storing it in her large purse. She frantically searches the kitchen for whatever else she may need to bring, but her mind is racing so she mutters a sharp “Fuck it” and grabs her keys. 

In the blink of an eye, she’s sitting in the front seat of her car and her breathing is rapid. She doesn’t exactly know what to do and, really, she can’t remember the quickest route to their “old spot.” It’s in New York, yeah, and she knows the street, but she’s never driven from Newark to the spot.

“Fuck it,” she hisses again, putting the car in reverse and immediately flying into the street. 

Her driving is ten times more intense than usual, and she’s surprised that she doesn’t hit a mailbox or two on her way out of their neighborhood. With two hands practically tearing into the steering wheel, she tries to keep her breathing as steady as possible, but her eyes keep glancing at her purse with that damn gun inside. Alison shakes her head and focuses on the road.

Next, her thoughts eat away at her. Is it about Emily, or is she driving straight into a trap? What if she’s completely overthinking it? Or, fuck, what if he knows where the brunette is, and it’s nowhere good? As in… what if she’s dead somewhere? The blonde’s lips part and she sucks in a sharp breath, tapping on the steering wheel when the red light doesn’t turn green quick enough. As the girl waits at the stoplight, she decides that she has to be smarter than she used to be. So, within seconds, her right hand is fumbling around in her purse so she can pull out her cell phone. She scrolls through her recent contacts as her blue eyes focus on the light in front of her, still waiting for the signal. Her finger taps Spencer’s name, and then she hits the speaker button right as the light turns green, causing her to speed off.

_ “Ali━” _

“I think Emily’s in trouble,” she cuts the other girl off.

_ “We already went through━” _

“No, I mean that Noel messaged me and told me to go to our old spot for a trade. It’s about Emily, Spencer. I just know it.”

_ “Okay, okay, don’t go alone, Alison. I’ll send Toby━” _

“I’m already on my way. I’m keeping the phone in my pocket while I’m there, okay? Don’t talk. I’ll tell you when I’m pulling up.”

_ “No, Ali━” _

“Spencer, I’m  _ not  _ waiting around.”

Her eyes scan the broken-down neighborhood and she spots the old, abandoned cafe. She lets out a sigh as Spencer rants on the line, though most of it is missed because Alison is far too distracted. She parks on a separate street, just inside an alleyway. Her eyes don’t notice the vehicle parked in front of hers at first, but, soon, they snap upwards and she looks at the back of Emily’s black car. Her eyes widen while her heart sinks, and that’s when she talks into the speaker again, her voice completely monotone. 

“She’s here. Her car is here.”

_ “Alison, be smart about this. It could be a trap.” _

“I know, but she’s in there, Spencer.”

_ “I’m using my house phone to call Toby right now, okay? We’re coming as fast as possible. Stay on the line, Alison, and stay fucking safe.” _

“Okay. I’m going to find Em,” comes the final whisper, and she turns the speaker off.

Her thumb presses against the sound button, lowering the volume as much as possible so Spencer can’t be heard. She reaches into her bag and pulls out the gun’s carrying case, immediately breaking into the container until she grasps the weapon firmly. She nearly throws up at the feeling, but there are more important things right now, so her other arm shoves the car door open.

Once her feet are on the ground, her legs feel like jelly but she pushes forward, gun in hand while her phone rests in her back pocket. Really, she knows that no one exactly comes around this part of town since it’s pretty much abandoned, so her hands don’t bother hiding the weapon much; it sticks out of her hoodie pocket as she keeps a harsh grip on it, making sure to hold the object like she was taught. 

That gross, pukey feeling comes up again, and her eyes are practically in a trance as she walks. Alison can’t hear anything while her limbs continue to carry her along the sidewalk and, eventually, into the abandoned cafe. It’s exactly how she remembers it, both look-wise and scent-wise. Really, she’s surprised that they hadn’t knocked it down within the past however-many years. The girl grimaces and looks around, her grip tightening when only a low humming sound can be heard from a generator outside. The cafe’s windows are glazed over, like always, and there are multiple tables set up along the floor, almost like people could still come here and eat pastries if they really wanted to. Alison knows better, however, and remembers the first time they met up in this exact spot, hearing how a relative of Noel’s used to always drink coffee here. So much for memories, she muses. 

The hollow sound of a can being kicked is heard from behind the counter, and that’s when Noel emerges from the kitchen area, a dazed Emily in front of him as a knife is just barely scraping her throat. He isn’t smiling, nor is he frowning, and it makes Alison’s stomach flip in fear, especially when Emily’s eyes flutter open partially. The blonde’s lower lip quivers, but she pulls out the gun as fast as possible, aiming it at Noel who, finally, flashes a smirk.

“Great timing, Ali,” he speaks in a sick tone, dripping with something that teenage girls used to dub as seductive. “She’s  _ finally  _ waking up.”

Alison doesn’t respond, but Emily’s head hangs as she nods sleepily while her eyelids twitch. The blonde goes to move forward, but Noel’s grip on the other girl tightens and he makes a taunting noise, making sure she stays in place. 

“Let’s get on with this trade, Noel. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Blackmail me into giving you whatever the fuck it is that you want,” she’s surprised that her voice is steady because her legs feel like they’re going to give out at any moment. 

“Blackmail? Ha,” he laughs dully, “no, not blackmail. That’s  _ you _ . Think of this as… me getting even, kind of.”

The brunette’s head lifts up again, and she mumbles slightly, eventually shaking her head as her eyes open again. This time, they stay open, and she looks around slowly but her body doesn’t move.

“Alison?” her voice is raspy, and the other girl wants to crawl onto the floor and cry for the rest of her life, but━

“Ali,” Noel taunts, “I think she wants you.” 

Something in Emily must’ve finally clicked, because she begins to struggle in the man’s arms, but she’s too weak to break free. Giving up, her arms stop attempting to break his harsh embrace, and she grits her teeth while Alison stares at her with an apologetic expression.

“See, Alison? You can’t  _ always  _ protect her,” he shrugs slightly, readjusting his hand so the knife is pressed against the girl’s throat.

Emily lifts her chin slightly, and her legs feel nonexistent. Her mind feels absolutely cloudy, and she can barely focus on the girl standing in front of her somewhere at the other end of the room, but the brunette knows that it’s Alison, and it makes tears form in her eyes. Alison, watching the change in Emily’s facial expression, feels sick again, especially when tears rapidly fall from her brown eyes. The blonde tightens her two-handed grasp on the gun, clenching her jaw in newfound anger as she looks at the man who she once thought she knew.

“Don’t even try it, Alison,” he frowns, but it’s more demeaning than threatened. “You pull that trigger and, I promise, you’ll have to live knowing that all three of us could have made it out alive, but, instead, it’ll just be you.”

“You’ll be dead before you can even  _ attempt  _ to hurt her,” she throws back.

“Maybe,” he shrugs, “but, with the amount your hands are shaking, how do you know that _you_ won’t kill her?”

Alison swallows hard and Noel notices, smiling as he lets out a small laugh.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t bring you here just so I could kill her. What’s the fun in that? No, we’re going to make a trade, just like I said… and then we’re going to make another next month, and another the month after that,” he rants.

“Money? Fine, I’ll give you money. Let her go.”

“Put the gun down. Right there, on that table,” his eyes show her the proper spot. 

She waits a moment, staring at Emily who doesn’t react to the instruction. It feels like centuries of hesitation pass as she debates obeying the command; if she complies, the worst could happen and Noel could, indeed, kill Emily in the blink of an eye, but, on the other hand, at least they all live for a few minutes longer if she listens to what he says. He stares at her while she stands there, head tilted downwards as she takes deep breaths. Finally, she purses her lips and places the weapon down on the surface of one of the cafe’s smaller tables near the front of the room, her hands falling limp against her sides afterwards. 

Noel stares at her for a split second before he nods, allowing her to step forward. She slowly walks to the cafe’s old counter while he backs up, Emily still in his dangerous embrace. As he backs up, the brunette tries to struggle again, but he snickers at the girl’s lack of strength for the time being, so she goes limp. The blonde’s broken, blue eyes follow Emily’s, silently pleading and apologizing as much as she can without any words. Emily’s expression, however, is completely unreadable, and Alison can see her swallow hard. Truly, Alison wonders if Emily blames her for this, and if the other girls will just as much, but she forces herself to focus because, if she doesn’t, she’ll likely break down right here and now, only to lose Noel’s little game.

“Sign that right there,” Noel nods towards the piece of paper sitting on the counter, and Alison wants to roll her eyes at the request because, really, in some less-scary way, this encounter seems so dramatic and, if he really wanted to, he could’ve just confronted her when they were alone.

Alison looks down and sees one of their joint-name checks lying upon the counter’s surface, making her eyebrows furrow hard. Suddenly, it begins to hit her that, obviously, this was a planned thing and, yes, she  _ did  _ play into his trap ━ but it wasn’t by coming here tonight. Instead, she drove Emily away, and he captured Alison with the most powerful bait he could find but, to the blonde, it seems as though this is much deeper than wanting money; frankly, Noel wants to hurt her in the worst way.

Her mouth opens and closes as her eyes dart around the counter in front of her, and, right when she turns to ask Noel what he  _ really  _ wants, he shoves Emily into the nearest wall as her shoulder smacks into the brick ━  _ hard _ . It’s almost like one, swift motion, and his embrace is now surrounding Alison’s body, holding her hostage just like he had done to Emily for the past hour ━ but  _ much  _ tighter, and with ten times the vengeance swirling in his eyes. The brunette groans and whines nearby, slightly propping herself up against the wall as she holds onto her arm as much as possible. She takes deep breaths as her eyes flicker open briefly, and Alison can hear her wincing at the pain.

“I thought you wanted to make a trade,” Alison hisses, clenching her jaw when the knife’s blade raises against her throat. 

“Oh, I do,” his nose rubs against her cheek, “but money? Nah. That’s not worth much. Ironic, huh?” he snickers at the pun.

Alison is afraid to ask what he really wants now that she feels the cold, sharp knife scraping against her skin, but when she sees Emily slowly crawling across the floor towards the front of the cafe, she figures that she needs to keep Noel distracted, especially because he’s way too busy staring at the knife he’s wielding and, due to their angle, can’t see Emily at the moment.

“What  _ do  _ you want, Noel?”

“You ruined my fucking life, Alison. You know that? The shit I did in high school,” he laughs bitterly, “that’s not even half of it. Fuck, Ali, you blackmailed me for months into helping you and your ungrateful ass, even  _ after  _ you held shit over my head for  _ years _ . I want you gone, that’s what.”

He seethes, “My family went bankrupt soon after you stopped hounding me for cash,” and a shaky laugh exits his throat. “I bet you’d love to know that the money I had given you would’ve helped. We would’ve been okay, even if just for a few more months. That way, my parents wouldn’t have shoved me out of the house.”

After a few moments, another laugh falls from Noel’s lips and he breathes heavily, almost like he’s struggling with the situation, “I bet you think I’m a shitty person. Right? You think I’m a shitty person?” first, his voice is quiet, but it grows louder when he continues, “Have you ever looked in the fucking mirror?”

Alison’s nostrils flare and she side-eyes him.

“I've been searching for you for  _ years _ ,” the blonde can hear him gritting his teeth. “You force me into helping you, and then you leave. Out of nowhere. Right when I was close to snapping, you and Emily just… move further into New York without a trace. I’ve gotta give it to you, Ali, you’ve always had impeccable timing.”

“Are you A?” she finally asks and he laughs harder. 

“You still don’t get it, do you? Alison,  _ everyone  _ was A. Sure,  _ now _ they've given up and moved on, but do you know how many people wanted you gone? How many people  _ loathed  _ you for all the shit you gave them? Even before Mona, there were plans to get rid of you.”

Noel begins to ramble, “God, she was the only one stupid enough to get caught, and it was  _ after  _ she drove you away. What kind of plan was that, anyway? Sure, we wanted you gone, but not  _ that  _ way. I mean… here we are, forming a pretty good goddamn plan, and she comes out of nowhere, just to help you leave Rosewood,” he seems to rant to himself. “And  _ then  _ she just so happens to decide to play cat and mouse with your little friends after a year. Fuck, she's so random,” his head shakes heavily but his grip on the blonde girl tightens even more.

The dark-haired man thinks to himself for a passing moment, calming down slightly, “I don't think she knew who we were. I don't even think she knew what we were  _ doing _ . Not really, at least. She just… did whatever, had her fun, and we took over again once she was locked up. Helped us regather for a bit, I guess,” he laughs.

“How many people were there?”

The brunette continues pulling her body to the front of the cafe, careful not to hit any tables while Noel has his mouth practically pressed against Alison’s cheekbone. Her gaze remains focused on the hostage situation as her eyes narrow with even more anger, but half of her body pulls her towards the gun.

“Hm, if you really want to know, fine, I'll tell you. Let’s see,” Noel pretends to think, making the same stupid face. “You already know Mona was the first A or  _ original  _ A, whatever you want to call her even though it’s not true in the  _ slightest _ . Like I said… she came in later, but she was always a lone wolf, really. We never bothered to invite her into our group.”

His thoughts consume him for a moment and Alison worries that he’s going to glance in Emily's direction, causing the blonde to clear her throat in an impatient manner.

“ _ Anyway _ ,” Noel’s voice drags out the word. “After Mona was stowed away in Radley, we came out of the shadows. We rebuilt our group, formed a game plan, and targeted your posse. Everyone knew that’d drive you insane because we knew you’d still be visiting Rosewood. You freakin’ told me you wanted to go back, especially once Mona was unmasked. I knew you’d never stay away. From the very beginning.”

Alison’s eyes drift down to the floor; just another reason why she shouldn’t have visited Rosewood once she left.

“Me and the others… we had some good times,” he seems to be reminiscing for a moment.

“Like  _ who _ , Noel?” she now grits her teeth, becoming severely impatient when the knife slides up her throat even more than before.

“Your brother, for one. Jeez, Ali, I’m actually sorry to say this, but he was pretty…  _ hellbent  _ on breaking you. God, what’d you do to him?” Alison tenses up, realizing that Jason is likely who her mother was protecting. 

“CeCe, your sister-like friend, was another,” he counts and a tear falls from the girl’s eye.

He continues after a curt humming noise comes from his throat, “She only took on the role a few times. I needed someone who looked like you and she was willing. I knew your three-girl crew would follow the  _ beautiful _ blonde,” his voice drips with sarcasm. 

“Then she said she felt guilty after leading you on when we came here to drop off some money. Once Mona was out of the picture, I mean. You know,” Noel clears his throat, “it's funny. All you requested was money while your friends wanted their  _ lives  _ back.”

“Why didn’t you just target me once I was alone in New York? You could’ve told your creepy friends. You knew where I was staying, so why didn’t you just do something about it instead of making a scene?”

“Is Rosewood’s Queen Bee  _ really  _ asking why I’m making a scene?” he smirks against her temple. “We’re full of ironies tonight, aren’t we?”

Noel takes a deep breath, afterwards humming, “We didn’t want to hunt you right away, so we sat back and waited. Afterall, only Mona, CeCe, and I knew where you were staying, so you probably would have figured out my motives pretty quickly. You were always good at sniffing out secrets,” he clears his throat. “But, then again, you didn’t realize what Mona was doing after-hours, so who knows.”

Alison’s heart continues to sink into her chest, so her voice begins to shrink more than anytime previously.

“What do you want?” she speaks quietly.

Before he can taunt her again, the gun makes a sliding noise when Emily grabs it off of the table. She stands up as fast as she can, pointing the weapon in his direction with a clenched jaw and watery eyes. He moves Alison in a threateningly slow manner, positioning her in front of his body with a slight smirk. The brunette’s line of fire doesn’t alter one bit, and she holds the weapon sturdy as Noel locks eyes with her, an ever-growing smile on his face. Her brown eyes flash to Alison looking as though she’s about to break down, and she has to force herself to focus on their tormentor since she, too, feels as though she’s about to break into hysterics.

“So, we’re playing this game again?” his voice is drown out by nearing police sirens.

Emily stares into his dark, sadistic eyes, and she blinks hard after another few seconds.

_ Alison jolts awake from a deep sleep, scrambling along the thin, fitted sheet below her body as the lone comforter practically flies off of the mattress. Emily, having been sleeping next to her while facing the other direction, wakes up to the girl frantically scratching at her head with her knees against her upper torso. The blonde’s chest rises and falls rapidly, almost as if she’s hyperventilating, and Alison cries hard, whining and shaking her head with a few, rambled phrases such as “Nonono” and “Please don’t” falling from her lips at a constant rate. _

_ The brunette’s eyes widen as she crawls towards the other girl as fast as possible, gaze sympathetic as she gets situated in front of Alison, grabbing the blonde’s clasped hands and holding them between her own while she asks, “Alison, what’s going on? What happened?” _

_ Again, Alison can only get out jumbled, pushed-together phrases as she occasionally rocks back and forth, and Emily begins to worry hard; the brunette has no idea what to do in this situation. Sure, Alison has woken up a time or two before from a vicious nightmare, but never like this. Usually, it’s the same nightmare of a dark-hooded figure running after her with knives, eventually holding them to her throat before she hears a slashing noise ━ much like in the movies ━ and her body jumps once everything goes black. Every time, Emily holds her tightly and rubs her back, wishing that she could kiss the girl in some way, but, most times when she wants to, she chickens out. They’ve kissed a time or two, yeah, but it’s always Alison initiating it. She’s the brave one. _

_ Emily hears a few police sirens pass their “safe house,” but, within the majority of the darkness, she focuses on the girl who struggles with her memories.  _

_ “He had you,” Alison finally chokes out, afterwards crying so hard that Emily almost forgets what she had just confessed. _

_ “He… what? Who, Ali?” _

_ “A,” tears stream down her cheeks and the brunette has never seen this bad of a breakdown come from the girl sitting in front of her ━ not in the slightest. _

_ “What? Ali, A’s gone. Mona is A━” _

_ “No,” she grits her teeth, shaking her head violently.  _

_ When Emily doesn’t respond and, instead, just stares at her with a conflicted expression, Alison bows her head and chokes on another sob, “Please don’t make me relive it. Please, please━” _

_ “Okay, Alison, you don’t need to. I promise,” Emily moves closer, rubbing her hands up and down the blonde’s arms in some small form of comfort. _

_ “Please,” she repeats, bowing her head even further. _

_ “Come here,” the brunette breathes out, moving slightly so the other girl can curl up with her head against Emily’s thigh as she lies in fetal position.  _

_ Emily runs her fingers along Alison’s scalp as she tries to calm the girl, watching her body shake occasionally as her cries die down. The brunette bites her lower lip as she studies Alison’s body language with sympathy, using her nails to create little heart-shaped patterns. _

_ “I promise, Ali, I’ll protect you,” she whispers, feeling multiple tears springing into her own eyes. “You’re always safe with me. Always.” _

Emily, again, blinks hard and shakes her head slightly, refocusing her determined eyes on Noel’s posture like before. In front of him, Alison’s bright eyes flash with red and blue, a notification that police cars are sitting right outside the cafe ━ just behind the foggy windows. Noel doesn’t react, and neither does Emily. Instead, they continue having a silent stare-down. Meanwhile, coming from somewhere outside, all three hear someone speaking through a loudspeaker, and Alison wonders why they don’t just barge into the cafe, not exactly pegging Noel as the type to slash and run. She waits for someone to rush in, she really does, but a few more minutes pass before Noel takes a deep breath, almost sighing in the end.

“Put the gun down, Emily,” he speaks as if it’s some game that he’s tired of playing. “You can walk away from this. I have no business with you, and I never did. As long as Alison’s gone, alright? It’s just… you got tied up in this entire thing for whatever reason. I’m sorry she dragged you into this. I can’t speak for Mona, obviously, but I would’ve left you alone if Alison hadn’t escaped.” 

“Sure,” now, he begins talking to himself, “your friend group was targeted by Mona and others, but only because everyone knew, deep down, that _ this one _ , right here, was still alive, and we knew she’d be back once we used you as bait. You’re always the bait.”

The brunette doesn’t even blink at his words; she continues to hold the gun steady, pointing it at Noel’s figure, though Alison is blocking his path. The blonde, on the other hand, feels her lower lip beginning to quiver; really, she wouldn’t be shocked if Emily just put the gun down and walked away. Maybe she should, Alison thinks. It’s not self-pity, she muses to herself, but… maybe it’s common sense.

Noel suddenly laughs, pausing for a moment before explaining, “Honestly, I’d say that you should have stayed with Paige, Em, but she was a bit busy with A stuff, too,” he shrugs and Alison breathes out a shaky, partial hiss, feeling her chest gain a massive heaviness.

“What, Ali? You don’t like when I mention Em’s ex? I could tell you more about their relationship if you’d━”

“Shut the fuck up,” Emily chokes out, looking even angrier than seconds ago.

His smile turns completely twisted, and everyone seems to have forgotten about the police parked just outside, still yelling into the loudspeaker. Emily glares at him with flared nostrils, raising her chin slightly as her arms seem even sturdier than when she had first wielded the gun. For the first time in minutes, her eyes dart to meet Alison’s, and Emily’s expression seems much softer and almost pleading. The blonde’s lips part as she mouths a small “I’m sorry,” and Emily swallows hard as she focuses on Noel again. Something in his eyes grows darker when they’re met with Emily’s, and his smile fades before he speaks, whispering into Alison’s ear while he stares straight ahead at the furious, gun-wielding brunette. 

“You know, too bad you left early the other day, Ali. I thought we were really connecting.”

Emily’s eyebrows furrow and her pointer finger twitches a bit. Alison knows what he’s doing and, really, she doesn’t know if she wants him to achieve his death wish or if she should plead with Emily to ignore his words, so her eyes look like she’s panicking as they glance past the brunette, trying to peek through the foggy windows to figure out what the fuck the police are attempting. As the blonde waits for Noel to make another move, she forms a mental plan after swallowing hard when she can feel the knife under her chin starting to loosen a bit, likely resulting from their abductor losing focus on his grip.

Noel continues to stare at Emily, pausing before half-whispering one last “My mouth against yours” into Alison’s ear. Staring at the brunette nearby, he presses a sloppy kiss near Alison’s jaw, and that’s when everything seems to…  _ explode _ . The blonde girl somehow manages to get her shoulder free and elbows him hard as she separates his arm from her neck, causing his knife-wielding hand to release quickly and, just as she shoves herself away, Emily pulls the trigger.

_ “Em,” they lie on the couch as Alison cuddles up to the other girl, both staring at nothing in particular. _

_ “Mhm?” the brunette hums as she looks at Alison with curiosity since they’ve been silent for most of the night ━ especially since they’ve been making out for hours. _

_ “Do you think we’ll…” she pauses, licking her lips as her forehead creases in thought, “do you think we’ll make it?” _

_ “What do you mean?” Emily frowns slightly, narrowing her eyes as she now stares at the dirty ceiling above them. _

_ Alison props herself up on an elbow, staring into Emily's brown eyes as she searches for something, though neither know what it is. _

_ “Us,” her voice is barely audible, and the other girl’s eyes flicker away for a brief second, still not knowing what Alison means, exactly. _

_ “Us together, I mean,” she continues, whispering. “Our relationship. Will it last?” _

_ “I like to believe so,” Emily purses her lips. “I want… to stay with you. For a while…” she wants to say “forever,” but the word won’t come out, and Alison watches her carefully. _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Because…” again, she can’t get the desired words out, even though she and Alison both desperately want to hear them. _

_ “You can say it,” her voice remains barely audible, and the brunette feels like her chest is going to cave in at any given moment. _

_ “Because… I love you,” Emily’s eyes dart away, still fearing rejection after months of actually calling Alison her official girlfriend. “I feel so safe with you, and I just… I love you.” _

_ Alison swallows hard, but she gets a smile out as her eyes water for a split second. Emily waits, though she isn’t expecting much, and the silence practically strangles her as they still lie only inches apart. Really, she wants to slam her eyes shut once she sees the blonde having some internal struggle, looking away for a brief period as her mouth opens and closes multiple times. _

_ “I love you too, Em.” _

A thick wave of slow motion hits both girls. Emily falls to the floor, wide-eyed as the gun slides somewhere nearby, and Alison stares at the blood that pools on the floor underneath Noel’s body, having been shot twice in the chest. Her mouth hangs open as officers rush in, but, when she sees the brunette’s state of distress, she stumbles over to the girl and wraps her in a warmer embrace. Emily immediately begins to cry hard, being rocked in Alison’s arms as the blonde girl mutters things such as “It’s okay,” “You’re with me now,” and “You did what you had to do.” The brunette cries hard, and Spencer rushes in behind Toby now, both immediately locating the two girls and crouching down beside them. Toby speaks into a radio clasped against his shoulder regarding two females (which Alison correctly guesses that he’s speaking about them), while Spencer brushes hair away from Emily’s face and checks on both girls. 

“Are you okay? Shit, Alison, what happened?” 

Alison can’t speak and she can barely hear, so she just looks at Spencer with glossy eyes and parted lips. Spencer swallows hard and looks at both girls, eventually glancing at Noel’s lifeless body and shaking her head furiously. Her breathing starts to speed up as her eyes widen and water, meanwhile still trying to comfort the two on the ground. 

“We couldn’t━” she stops herself, frantically stuttering, “they thought he’d━ if we came━”

Emily continues to cry, this time burying her face into Alison’s neck as she sobs hard. Her body shakes severely, and Alison’s eyes are stuck in a widened state when she realizes that she can’t provide the amount of comfort that Emily needs at the time. Without speaking again, Spencer rubs at her forehead and stands up, soon being joined by Toby.

“Why couldn’t we have come in sooner?” she speaks with her hands while facing her boyfriend. “We could have tried the back door, Toby. They shouldn’t have had to go through this!”

“I know they shouldn’t have had to, but we couldn’t just barge in and risk Noel going ballistic. We had no idea what he’s capable of,” he stresses back, trying to calm her down as much as possible while officers circle the area, filing in and out of the abandoned building. 

“Do you see her right now?!” Spencer emphatically points at Emily, next gesturing to Alison. “And do you see  _ her  _ right now? They’ve been through enough in their lifetime, and now look at him,” she glances at Noel’s body, now covered in a tarp.

“You know these situations just as well as I do. It wouldn’t have ended up well if we just came in here while he was armed. We both know the statistics━”

“ _ Fuck _ the statistics, Toby. This isn’t an everyday hostage situation,” she breathes heavily, tears rushing down her cheeks.

“An ambulance is already on its way,” he changes the subject, speaking with a lighter tone. “It’ll take them to the local hospital to get evaluated,” he tries his best to keep calm with his girlfriend. 

Continuing with the same tone, he explains, “You can ride with them if they’d prefer that, but otherwise, I don’t know what to tell you. You know I’ll do everything I can.”

Spencer stares at him with a softer demeanor as he walks away. After a few seconds, she kneels down next to the two huddled girls, wiping her cheeks free of any stray tears because she knows that they’ve been through a much denser part of hell tonight.

“An ambulance is coming to get you guys so you can be checked out,” she states, regret laced in her voice. “Do you want me to ride with you?” 

Alison’s eyes slam shut and she clears her throat when her head continues to pound. A ringing attacks her ears, but she can finally hear much more than a few minutes prior, and she tries to focus as much as she can.

“Can you, um, drive my car to the hospital? It’s parked in a nearby alleyway,” she can’t even look at Spencer. “I’ll figure out how to get Em’s back home later.”

Spencer nods, “Of course. Where are your keys?”

The blonde girl finds the strength to reach into her pocket, pulling out the keyring and dropping it into Spencer’s palm. The same brunette offers both girls a curt smile as they’re interrupted by two EMTs filing through the cafe’s door, crouching down next to the girls and trying to make simple conversation. Spencer backs up and watches as her eyes get misty again; she regrets not getting here faster or, possibly, coming  _ alone  _ so she could do things her own way ━ hopefully without anyone getting killed and/or scarred for life. 

Alison responds to every question, answering whatever she’s asked when it comes to how she feels and if she can hear everything clearly. Emily, on the other hand, doesn’t speak at all; the brunette is practically catatonic now that her sobs have died down, so the EMTs focus on her more. She doesn’t pay attention to the two men, honestly. In her mind, she’s reliving the entire altercation repeatedly, but it’s going frame by frame; her thoughts, as they flow through, start to make her wonder: _ “Did I shoot him out of self-defense, or through a jealous rage?”  _ especially when she begins to remember his scruffy mouth against Alison’s jaw.

The thought makes her feel sick to her stomach and, before another second passes, she leans over to the side and throws up whatever she ate hours prior. Alison rubs her back and holds the girl’s hair, tears streaming down her cheeks as she makes sure the brunette is okay. Spencer offers help to the EMTs who scramble to stand Emily up, and all three bring the girl to the ambulance while Alison takes one last glance at the tarp located on the other side of the room, clenching her jaw and balling her fists. Toby notices this and walks over to her, wringing his hands as he whispers so only they can hear. 

“Don’t linger on it, Alison. You’re thinking too hard right now. Go and be with Emily. She’s going to need you.”

Alison’s feels as if she’s about to cry again while she stares past the officer, eventually shaking her head and walking away without saying a word. Her feet carry her over to the ambulance, quickly being helped into the vehicle by one of the EMTs. She takes a seat next to Emily, silently wondering why and how the girl is sturdy enough to be sitting instead of lying down. The brunette stares ahead, barely blinking as absolutely no emotion stirs in her eyes. It scares Alison completely, and she takes a deep breath as she tilts her head back. Much to her surprise, however, Emily’s hand grabs for hers, and they stay that way for the rest of the ride to the nearest hospital. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there's that... so let's get right to it: After a random show-up in Ch 11, we can confirm that Noel is/was a bad apple (who had a feeling?), and at least these two are back together ━ yes, under terrible circumstances.
> 
> Keep this chapter in mind. Analyze it while you wait for Ch 13. Read between the lines. Trust me, you'll find a lot of useful information in this chapter (and Ch 11, even) as we progress through 13 & 14\. I've made sure to include a lot of hidden things and even symbolism. For example, Ch 11 has Noel saying, "Money isn't everything, Alison," and yet, for a bit, we're lead to believe that he wants money. If you caught onto that, kudos to you.
> 
> Flashbacks, flashbacks… Originally, I hadn't included any flashbacks in this chapter. None, whatsoever, except for Alison's dream (which doesn't exactly count). I'm happy with how they came out because I think they added something to the situation. Basically, while Alison thinks it's her fault that they're in the predicament, Emily thinks the same about herself; if Emily hadn't walked away, they'd be safe.
> 
> Spencer's relationship with Alison is very important. Like I said before, their relationship is super strong considering what they've gone through. Here Spencer is, willing to get in an argument with her significant other because of how much she cares for Alison (and Emily), even after everything. Additionally, it seems as though Alison's relationship with Hanna is slightly improving (as per their phone call), whereas Aria has never exactly held a grudge against Alison, in the first place.
> 
> In rough terms to explain the "A-ness" (and to sum everything up), Mona was a "solo A" and Noel was part of "A and Co." ━ which are totally make-believe titles, so just go with me on this. So, to clarify, A isn't the central topic of this story, but I had to shove it out of the way so we can move on. The central topic moving forward: Emily's internal "Did I shoot him out of self-defense, or through a jealous rage?" battle. It will be an important focal-point. In her mind, there was enough time for Alison to get away from Noel as the knife dropped to the floor, and, in that case, she didn't have to shoot him, but she did and, now, she's going to have an argument with herself because of what happened.
> 
> On a lighter note, this chapter marked the roughest point. From now on, it's an uphill climb, even if it'll take a little bit. Nevertheless, they're together again, and they have a lot to talk about.
> 
> Next update: Friday (the latest).
> 
> I'm sure a lot of you have things to say, so write whatever in the reviews. I'll be checking them ━ as always. See you soon, and have a nice day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you having a nice week? Did you miss me? Are you happy I'm updating early?
> 
> The ending author's note is superhellafreakin' long (as per usual), so I'm sorry. I just get excited when it comes to discussing.
> 
> To answer a question I've received ━  
> Q: Will we ever hear from Jason and/or CeCe? ━ A: It's complicated (see directly below for the reason as to why). For these twenty-one chapters, I didn't have a place to include them since, from now on, we're trying to patch things up between these two, and I feel like throwing Jason and CeCe into the mix would set Alison's progress back a shit ton which would take a while to recover from. Additionally, Alison hasn't spoken to either one of them in years, so she doesn't exactly plan to. Right now, her focus is Emily.
> 
> HOWEVER (and this is why I can't directly answer the question above), I have a somewhat hypothetical question: Do you guys n gals enjoy this story enough to the point where you'd like to see it… continue... after Ch. 21? As in… would you like a second part? I know we haven't finished this story yet so it's very probably that you have no idea if you're even going to enjoy this ending, but are you invested enough to read further? Again, if I were to continue, this part two would likely dive further into A-related nonsense, what happened during the girls' time away, and it'd involve more angsty (and very dark) downfalls including some not-so-pleasant current on-screen plots (but, trust me, I'd make it worth your time). Please let me know in the reviews if you'd read this (hypothetical) "sequel" that may or may not be outlined already. Again, I must reinforce the notion that, if you say you'd like one, I still don't know if I'll do it, but your opinions will help me figure it out. Either way, I'm sure I won't fall off the fanfic wagon after these twenty-one chapters are finished.
> 
> Before you review, though… read this chapter and enjoy these two being back together.

“Do you think we’ll be charged with anything?”

_ “No, Toby and I don’t think so. He held both of you hostage, Alison. You had a right to defend yourself. If you didn’t, you both could be dead right now.” _

Alison sits on one of their living room couches, huddled into the corner with her knees almost touching her chest as she holds the house phone to her ear. She’s been talking to Spencer for the past ten minutes, simultaneously keeping an eye on Emily who lies across the other, adjacent couch, just staring at the wall. Occasionally, the blonde can see the other girl picking at a loose string on her pajama pants whenever she feels…  _ anxious _ . 

It’s been difficult, that’s for sure ━ not to mention  _ tiresome _ . After getting home from their not-so-peachy hospital visit, Emily broke down the second she passed over the threshold, crying hard as Alison ran in front of her and guided her into the kitchen. The blonde sat her down on a kitchen chair and brought her a bottle of water, begging the girl to drink something. She complied, of course, once Alison pleaded with her for five minutes;  _ “You have to drink something, Em. I don’t want you passing out on me, please. Don’t leave me again.”  _ The brunette’s eyes locked with hers for the first time in a while and she nodded gently as she took the liquid, cautiously sipping on it. 

Not even ten minutes later, Emily stumbled into the bathroom and threw up again, though Alison wasn’t sure if it was because of the night’s events, the girl’s new medication, or a combination of the two. She followed her into the bathroom, nevertheless, and rubbed her back while whispering,  _ “It’s okay.”  _ Emily backed up and began crying again afterwards, leading to a fit of hyperventilation. 

They barely spoke the entire night (well, early morning), but neither really slept either. In fact, they didn’t go up to their bedroom until later this morning, and it’s only because Emily wanted to use their master bathroom’s shower. Alison followed her again, watching the brunette’s every move. The girl’s brown eyes had scanned the bedroom as if she’d never seen it before, and then she shook her head while walking into the bathroom. Alison sat on the bed while waiting for the other girl, worrying when Emily’s shower took much longer than usual. She didn’t barge in, however, and the blonde distracted herself by playing with her dry skin until Emily came out of the room wearing a bathrobe.

_ “You don’t have to follow me around, you know,” comes the monotonous statement.  _

_ Alison looks at her, surprised by the sudden hostility; even if she understands, it still hurts to know that Emily’s frustration is about to be directed at her ━ or maybe she deserves it.  _

_ “I’m not going to run away again, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she continues.  _

_ The blonde looks away with watery eyes, hugging her own body as Emily nods her head at no one in particular, eventually walking into her closet and shutting the door behind her.  _

Alison rubs at her left eye socket and grimaces, forgetting she’s on the phone until Spencer speaks again.

_ “Ali? Are you still there?” _

“Yeah, sorry. I’m here.” 

_ “Did you hear what I said?” _

“Yeah,” she pauses, “do you think I’ll be charged for blackmail?”

Spencer sighs,  _ “Probably not. They found Noel’s car a few streets away from your house and searched it, but never found any proof that you were ever blackmailing him. They're still trying to figure out where he lived but, if this was planned, he did a shitty job of keeping records. Plus, he isn’t here for a written statement, obviously…” _

“This was planned, no doubt about it.”

_ “What do you mean?” _

“I just… last night, I remembered that he told me about a bar he was looking for. At the time, I didn’t put two and two together, but… the only bar around at the time was Em’s. Then he had one of our checks and… God, I should’ve known.”

_ “None of this is your fault, Alison, so don’t even go there. He never let go of something that happened years ago and that’s not your problem.” _

“Clearly it  _ is  _ my problem.” 

_ “Listen to me. There’s going to come a time when you’ll need to let go of the shit you put people through. I don’t care if they hold a grudge against you, Ali. You need to stop blaming yourself. I’ll be one of the first to admit that you hurt me back then, but that doesn’t make it okay for me to press a knife to you and your other half’s throat.” _

Alison swallows hard and her eyes glance in Emily’s direction. The girl is still in the same position, staring straight ahead at the wall as if she’s talking to it. The blonde’s jaw shifts and she plays with the ring on her finger.

_ “Do you know how he found where you two live? Like… have you have any communication with him, as of late?” _

“No,” Alison whispers, “I━I don’t think so,” she stutters. “I have no idea how he could have…” her voice trails off when she can’t really focus.

_ “How is she?”  _ Spencer asks after a long pause.

“She’s breathing,” Alison shrugs.

The brunette nearby doesn’t even blink.

_ “Have you two spoken since…?” _

“Barely.”

_ “Give her time, Alison. You both need it and, fuck, you really deserve it right now.” _

“I think I’m taking the entire week off,” Alison confesses, though she’d likely be granted far longer than that, but it’s all she can come up with at the moment. 

She continues, “I can’t stomach the thought of teaching students how to protect themselves right now. It’s all too ironic.”

_ “You’re alive. That counts for a lot. Remember that.” _

Before she can respond, the phone beeps, signaling that there’s another call trying to come through. Her blue eyes scan the caller ID, sighing out a quick “I’ll call you later, Spence. Emily’s mom is calling” before transferring to the other call. 

“Hello?” Alison tries to keep her voice steady and slightly positive-sounding.

_ “Are you two alright? Toby Cavanaugh called me and filled me in on what happened, but I didn’t get many details. Where’s Emily?”  _ her tone sounds surprisingly okay, even if it’s tinted with slight fear (which is expected).

Alison nods, silently thanking Spencer for giving Toby the O.K. to call Mrs. Fields because, if the blonde had to do it on her own, she wouldn’t have been able to hold herself together.

“She’s right here,” the girl sighs. “She hasn’t really spoken much, but let me see if she’ll take the phone.”

_ “Okay. Don’t bug her if she doesn’t feel good enough to talk. I just wanted to make sure you two are okay.” _

Alison walks over to Emily and sits in front of her feet, disrupting her stare partially. The brunette blinks and her eyes lock with Alison’s, drooping slightly. The other girl holds the phone out cautiously, whispering a low “It’s your mom.” 

Emily’s lips part and she looks at the device, eventually taking it after another moment or two. Her shaky hands raise it to her ear, and Alison watches the girl’s body language: cold and broken.

“Hello?” Emily’s voice is raspy.

_ “Are you okay, sweetie?” _

Alison can hear Pam’s voice clearly ━ not that she has a very loud voice ━ and she chews on her inner cheek as she waits for the answer as well. A tear dribbles down the brunette’s cheek and all Alison wants to do is wipe it away, but she doesn’t want to cross any newly-set boundaries ━ if there are any.

“I guess I will be,” she speaks quietly, “ _ eventually _ .” 

_ “I know that I’ve never been in your specific situation, Emily, but I’ve been in a similar one with your father. Something terrible happened and we both had to deal with the aftermath. It stunk and it was painful, but we dealt with it… and I think that’s the most important thing.” _

Emily breathes out a pained “Mhm” as her lower lip quivers and she looks down. More tears fall down her cheeks and Alison feels a sharp sensation in her chest at the sight. The mention of Emily’s father probably didn’t help anything, but the blonde knows that it could, potentially, get the point across. 

_ “You and Alison have an unbreakable bond, and it’s time you use it to your advantage when it comes to getting through this, alright? Lean on each other. Focus on the wedding, if that’ll make you feel better. Anything it takes.” _

Alison’s eyes slam shut when their wedding is mentioned, then they begin to water as she hears Emily choke on a sob. They haven’t even spoken about their argument, so how the fuck could they ever focus on their wedding? Alison isn’t even sure if they’re engaged or not at the moment. It isn’t Pam’s fault, though, Alison thinks; Emily obviously hasn’t told her mother about their huge argument for whatever reason, so maybe she hasn’t made a decision yet. 

_ “I’ll let you go. Get some rest and stay hydrated. You don’t sound great,”  _ the older woman instructs over the speaker.  _ “Tell Alison the same and just… comfort each other. Call me if you need me. I’ll even visit, if need be.”  _

“Thank you, Mom. I will,” Emily gets out. “Love you.”

Emily’s thumb ends the call and she tosses the phone onto the coffee table. Alison’s eyes slam shut again, pursing her lips as she shifts against the cushions. When she opens her eyes, she’s surprised to see the brunette staring at her with a timid expression, almost like she wants to say something but can’t get the words out. Alison offers her a smile, but it falls flat and her nostrils flare as she takes a deep breath. Her blue eyes stare ahead, getting lost in thought while looking at the wall. Emily’s gaze bores into her temple, and Alison jumps when she feels the brunette grab her hand.

“I’m sorry,” Emily whispers. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Alison shakes her head, avoiding the other girl’s sympathetic eyes, “I just didn’t expect…” she trails off.

The brunette swallows hard, “I’m not talking about just now.”

Their eyes lock once Alison looks back at her. Her eyebrows furrow as she silently wonders what Emily means, exactly, but the brunette never explains. Possibly, she’s talking about the fact that Alison had been pacing the floor since she left nights ago but, really, the blonde has no clue, so she drops the conversation. Emily’s lips part, leading Alison to believe that she’s going to offer an explanation after another minute, but her mouth closes within seconds. 

“I’m going to check on my shoulder and fix the bandages,” she notifies Alison once she’s slowly getting up.

“Do you need any help?”

“Um,” Emily stops in the doorway, “I’ll call you in if it hurts too much.”

“Okay,” Alison nods, “I’m going to be in the kitchen. I want some water.”

Emily returns the nod, “Good.”

The blonde partially follows the other girl, watching her as she walks into the bathroom semi-attached to the kitchen. Alison follows through and takes a bottle of water out of the fridge before she sips on it, taking a long gulp or two as she stands. She can see Emily out of the corner of her eye, and she hears a few pained hisses that make her look away. It isn’t until a minute later that she carefully walks over to the bathroom doorway and leans against the frame, quietly glaring at the large, newly-formed bruise covering Emily’s shoulder. 

_ A nurse tends to the brunette’s shoulder as she’s propped up on a stretcher.  _

_ The hospital is super packed and most rooms are taken ━ thankfully, since neither girl wants to stay overnight for multiple reasons. Alison lingers outside the room, watching from the hallway as Emily doesn’t speak a ton to the nurse who is taking care of her already-bruised shoulder. Minutes prior, the woman had given Emily the good news “It’s not broken, nor dislocated… but there’s a lot of internal bleeding that’ll eventually stop. We’ll be giving you some heavy-duty pain medication, but take it as instructed.” Emily nodded at the time, clearly unhappy with the entire hospital visit.  _

_ “There you are,” Spencer breathes out once she spots the blonde, “Han━” she grunts, “Harlow is here too. She was in a small car accident nearby.” _

_ “What?! In what room?” _

_ “Down the hall, take a left, and then a sharp left into two-eleven. She doesn’t look too bad, but I was surprised to see her.” _

_ “Okay,” Alison looks back towards Emily who is still listening to the nurse speak, “can you watch her for me? I don’t want to leave her alone right now.” _

_ Spencer nods, “Of course. Take your time.” _

_ The blonde reluctantly tears her eyes away from the injured brunette and walks down the hallway. She follows Spencer’s directions and quickly comes face to face with the door adorned with a label that reads “211.” Hanna notices her right away, grunting as she sits up with a forced smile. As Alison walks further into the room, the other blonde watches her with sympathy.  _

_ “Spencer told me what happened,” Hanna’s eyebrows furrow as she speaks quietly. “Ali, I’m so sorry you guys had to go through that.” _

_ Alison shoots her a regretful expression and, immediately, Hanna interrupts her inevitable, rampant thoughts. _

_ “It’s not your fault, Alison,” she stresses. “This time, I’m happy to say that you didn’t deserve anything that happened tonight. You or Em.” _

_ Before the other blonde can reply, another voice comes from behind her. _

_ “I beg to differ,” Caleb walks in, arms crossed and an accusing expression cascaded upon his features as he walks over to stand at Hanna’s side. _

_ He continues, directing the statement at Hanna, “I think Vivian deserves everything she gets.” _

_ “Alec━” Hanna tries using his “name,” but is cut off by his impending rant. _

_ “You’re the reason why she’s lying in a hospital bed right now,” his nostrils flare as he steps towards Alison. “If it wasn’t for you, she’d be safe and happy. Instead, she’s here because she went on a wild goose-chase looking for the girl that you lost because you can’t own up to your shit.” _

_ Alison takes a step forward with a furiously-clenched jaw, not too keen on being thrown under the bus by anyone right now; it’s been too long of a night to be bitched at for something like this. _

_ “We were happy for years without you,” he snickers, “then you come back and suddenly we’re back at square one. Doing your dirty work and fixing your fucking mistakes. I’m sick and tired of━” _

_ “Caleb!” the other girl gets off the bed, not caring what name she uses anymore. _

_ “Lie down, Hanna. The nurse said so,” his voice grows quiet. _

_ “No, not when you’re being an absolute ass. You can be pissed, sure, but she went through fucking hell tonight and I’m drawing the line, okay?”  _

_ “So you’re defending her?” he asks, an incredulous look covering his face. “After everything she put us through, you’re going to defend her?” _

_ Hanna stands there, straight-faced and unaffected.  _

_ “Unbelievable. You’re choosing her, someone who abandoned you and your friends years ago and never looked back, over the one person who stuck by your side as you broke down and nearly━” _

_ “Go cool off,” she instructs, her eyes tired. “You can come back when you’re done throwing a fit.” _

_ He looks at Alison again and shifts his jaw, then his eyes bounce back to Hanna before walking out of the room, punching the door on his way out. Alison’s eyes remain focused on the door, even after he’s been gone for over thirty seconds. She swallows hard and the other girl’s voice startles her a little. _

_ “He was out of line, Alison. I’m sorry about that,” she breathes out while they stand across from one another. _

_ Alison offers a sad smile, shaking her head a fraction, “No, I think he pretty much hit the nail on the head. I know I’m a shitty person, and he probably shouldn’t trust me. I wouldn’t.” _

_ “Stop doing that, Ali,” Hanna sighs. “We’re never going to be able to start over if you’re going to be the same, self-loathing person as you were before.” _

_ The other girl slams her eyes shut and lets out a shaky laugh, looking down at the floor.  _

_ “I don’t want to cause any problems between you and Caleb. You’ve been through hell and back together.” _

_ “You’re not causing any problems,” she rubs at her own arms. “We’ve been going through a rough patch for a while now. He just doesn’t understand me lately.” _

_ Alison nods, offering some sort of sympathy without saying anything. They look at one another again, having some form of silent conversation with their eyes ━ a mutual apology, of sorts.  _

“Ali, did you hear me?” Emily’s voice breaks the other girl out of her thoughts.

“No,” Alison shakes her head, “sorry. I zoned out.”

The brunette chews her inner cheek, “I asked where the wrapping for my shoulder is.”

“Oh, it’s upstairs. I’ll get it.”

She waits a second before walking away, though she doesn’t exactly look into the brunette’s eyes anyway. Her legs take her up the stairs at a slow rate and, as she hits the halfway point of the stairwell, she starts to hear footsteps behind her. Glancing backwards, Emily is following while looking at her bruises, slightly poking at the color. Alison purses her lips and continues down the hallway, soon stepping into their bedroom. Her feet bring her into the attached bathroom so she can grab the medical wrap from underneath the sink and, when she turns around to give it to Emily, the brunette is only inches away, and her eyes are full of…  _ something _ . Alison swallows hard and can’t exactly breathe normally, so she just stares at the girl who seems to be studying her. It feels like she’s suffocating and, at the moment, she can’t tell if the air is electrified in a good or bad way. Eventually, she’s able to get out a question, but it’s almost inaudible ━ especially towards the end.

“Do you need help putting it on?” she holds the tan fabric between their bodies, eyes never leaving Emily’s.

The brunette’s gaze floats downwards, staring at the medical wrap for a moment. When she looks back up, her lips part and she shakes her head. They continue holding a silent stare-down while the blonde is trapped between the other girl’s body and the bathroom counter. Abruptly, Alison goes to slip away from between the two barriers so the injured girl can tape herself up, but Emily steps even closer, one of her legs pushing between Alison’s thighs. The blonde’s eyes slam shut for a brief second, feeling like she’s being preyed upon, and her lower lip quivers due to frustration as Emily’s breath hits her mouth repeatedly, growing closer and closer while the room seems to heat up. As Alison opens her mouth to whisper something, the words die in her throat when Emily’s thigh rubs against the inside of her right leg, and the blonde takes a deep breath.

“Em,” Alison tries, though it becomes even harder to speak when the other girl’s nose begins to brush against hers, “are you okay?”

Emily nods, her eyes flickering up and down as her arms trap Alison between her body and the sink more than ever before. They’re almost fully pressed together, and the blonde is leaning against the sink as much as she can be, arms behind her own back as she grasps onto the medical tape with a hard grip.

“Please don’t lie to me,” Alison whispers and she feels her lips brush against Emily’s when she speaks. 

The other girl doesn’t respond. Instead, her eyelids flutter shut and she connects their lips in a gentle kiss. Alison feels herself shaking, especially when Emily pushes their bodies together further. She returns the kiss briefly, then backs up as much as she can, still feeling the brunette’s thigh in between her legs as they stand. She’s practically on the tips of her toes, and technically she could sit on the bathroom counter if she wanted, but the blonde can’t really do anything at the moment. 

“Emily, we need to talk about what happened,” she tries as she turns her head so the other girl can’t muffle the statement. 

Obviously, however, that doesn’t work out well because the brunette’s lips start trailing down her neck, kissing messily at the skin underneath her mouth. Alison moans at the sensation before she can stop herself, nails digging into the fabricated tape she’s been holding, and that’s when Emily finds the blonde’s hands and walks backwards, guiding them out of the master bathroom. Alison drops the medical tape as a soft grip keeps a hold on her hands, and her eyes close for a moment. As Emily slowly brings them more towards the bed, she reconnects their lips and kisses Alison harder than before. Soon, the brunette turns them around and lies the other girl down onto the mattress with a gentle thud, quickly regaining the kiss from seconds prior. Suddenly, she backs up a fraction and looks at the girl lying beneath her, a confused and hurt expression written across Alison’s face when her eyes flutter open.

“We’ll talk later,” Emily whispers, “I promise.”

Although she says it now, Alison internally feels like she’s crumbling ━ like  _ they’re  _ crumbling. Emily’s tone has never sounded so empty, and Alison hates everything that’s happened within the last week. Even now, when the brunette’s mouth is planting hollow, open-mouthed kisses down her neck, she can feel how meaningless this entire altercation is ━ almost like there’s no love existing at all. So, when the brunette’s brown eyes meet her icy, blue gaze, she tests the waters with a shaky voice.

“I love you,” Alison studies her face, not receiving any reaction at first.

Soon, Emily smiles and slightly licks her lips, leaning back down and whispering a soft “I know you do” to the girl lying beneath her ━ and that’s when tears stream out of Alison’s eyes. The other girl doesn’t realize it, however, and continues to offer pecks to the side of the blonde’s face. It isn’t until she tastes salt on her tongue that she backs up and sees a number of tears rolling down Alison’s cheeks and, when she does, she stumbles off of her with shaking hands. The blonde sits up and furiously wipes at her eyes, hugging her own body afterwards. Emily looks around the room frantically, eyes widening as she balls her fists and backs up a few steps, keeping some distance between them.

“Alison, did I…?” she makes a pained expression before continuing, “I didn’t mean to…”

The other girl just shakes her head and chokes on a sob.

“I’m sorry,” Emily’s voice cracks when the strangled whisper falls from her lips.

“I just want to talk, Em,” Alison’s broken eyes meet the other girl’s, and Emily looks away with parted lips and watering eyes. 

The brunette doesn’t respond, and that’s when Alison begins to plead.

“Please, Emily,” she cries. “I feel like I’ve lost you and I can’t…” she inhales and hyperventilates for a minute, attempting to slow her breathing but failing time and time again.

When Alison doesn’t calm down, Emily walks over to the bed and kneels at the other girl’s feet, staring at the ground while she speaks.

“You haven’t lost me, Alison,” her own tears land on her wrist as she plays with her fingers. “I just need…” she struggles with her words and the sentence ends there because she has no idea what she needs right now.

Alison can’t come up with an answer and her lower lip quivers so severely that she feels like she’s going to bite her tongue off, so she gets up and walks out of their bedroom. Emily looks at the ceiling and takes a few, long, deep breaths when she hears the steps creaking as Alison heads downstairs.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk about things. Really, that’s what she  _ wants  _ to do, but there’s something holding her back and she has no idea what it is. What if things don’t go smoothly, or what if they become even  _ worse _ ? She shakes her head and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. When she opens her eyes, they dart around the room and she looks at the bed, eventually flashing a tiny smile when she sees that Alison’s been cuddling with the plush elephant while she’s been gone. Suddenly, a new wave of guilt hits Emily and she gets up to hug the stuffed animal for some sort of comfort. 

_ “You and Alison have an unbreakable bond, Emily, and it’s time you use it to your advantage when it comes to getting through this, alright? Lean on each other.” _

Her mother’s words cycle through her mind repeatedly ━ not to mention what she said right after that. What if their bond  _ is _ , indeed, breakable? What if it’s already broken? Then what? She grits her teeth and hangs her head. How can they lean on each other if they both feel like they’re not sturdy enough to stand on their own? 

She looks at the clock and sees that it’s 5:43 P.M. Sighing, she pushes her body forwards and heads into the bathroom, picking up the medical tape once she sees it on the floor. It doesn’t take long to bandage her shoulder, and, right away, her feet carry her towards their bedroom door. Once she reaches the edge of their room, her thoughts conflict when it comes to whether or not she should just go to bed, or try and communicate with Alison as much as possible. She tries to remember what the blonde usually likes: being left alone or comforted. Shaking her head at herself for not being able to decide, her feet push forward as the upstairs hallway looks much longer than usual. Soon, Emily is walking down the stairs as the wood creaks with every step and, eventually, she ends up on the cool, tiled floor. When she doesn’t see the other girl in the kitchen, she continues into the living room, glancing at the blonde who hugs her knees close to her chest whilst cuddled into the corner of the couch, facing the brunette’s direction but not noticing her due to being lost in thought.

Before the brunette can get a word out, her thoughts consume her, especially because the girl sitting nearby looks just as broken as she had when Roman, her pub’s head bartender, walked past her office door two nights ago.

_ Emily sits at the desk situated in her pub’s back office, elbow propped up on its surface as she rests her cheek on her hand, slightly massaging her jaw as her eyes droop every now and again. She stares at the picture of her and the blonde girl, her focus locking with Alison’s glossy, blue eyes and a smile that says “I’m the happiest I’ve been in years.” The brunette’s in-photo smile matches ━ and maybe it’s even amplified by thirty ━ but her real-time expression is much more dreary. Tears drip off of Emily’s nose and onto the cherrywood below her face, causing a small heart-shaped puddle to gather along the dark red finish. The room is quiet, for the most part, only disrupted by her sniffling and the soft music coming from the main part of the pub. _

_ It’s well after one in the morning on Sunday and she’s been hiding out in her office for the majority of the last day. Briefly, Emily left the bar to get some fresh air, but returned only an hour later to find Roman clocking in. Throughout his shift, she offered him minimal conversation while acting as if she’s okay, and he never dared question it with customers around; they were too busy to discuss anything and Emily was thankful. _

_ As she continues to stare at the photo in front of her, Roman walks semi-past her office while tugging on an old canvas jacket. Once he sees her position, he backs up, especially when it’s time for his shift to be over. At first, his green eyes just stare into the room and Emily doesn’t notice him, but he notes the scattered blankets and a pillow thrown into one of the room’s corners, and then his deep voice flows through the open doorway. _

_ “Are you okay, Boss-lady?” he uses the brunette’s loathed nickname in hopes that he’ll draw a smile, however fails. _

_ She frantically wipes her eyes and sits back in her chair, very-obviously forcing a grin until it falls flat within seconds.  _

_ “No, I’m not,” Emily shakes her head while clearing her throat and, before he can ask what’s wrong, she continues, “but I don’t want to talk about it.” _

_ He nods and zips his jacket, afterwards stuffing his hands into his pockets while he looks at her hands that rest atop the desk, noting the finger that used to have a pretty engagement ring which he had fawned over a time or two with Alison. Roman frowns at the sight, soon locking eyes with Emily who realizes what he’s seen, but, before he can comment, she shakes her head again with a soft “Just don’t.” _

_ “I won’t,” he speaks matter-of-factly, afterward exhaling deeply, “but call me if you need anything. Even if it’s a place to crash.” _

_ She finally offers a sad smile, nodding and humming a pained “Mhm” before muttering, “Have a nice night” to Roman who backs out of the doorway, leaving the brunette in a dark, empty pub for the night.  _

Emily crosses her arms and leans against the wall, just watching the other girl who has puffy cheeks and a red nose ━ in addition to those heartbreaking bloodshot eyes. The sight breaks her, it really does, and she suddenly finds herself taking a deep breath before saying what’s been on her mind for the first time since she’s been home from the hospital.

“I came home,” the brunette’s raspy voice breaks Alison out of whatever thought she was consumed in.

“What?” the other girl’s forehead creases and Emily walks over to sit across from her on the same couch. 

She closes her eyes for a moment, “I came home yesterday.”

“When?” Alison breathes out, hoping that she hadn’t somehow missed the other girl when she came back.

“Sometime after nine-thirty at night,” she crosses her arms.

_ The brunette glances at the car’s digital clock, noting how late it’s already getting.  _

_ As the day progressed, she felt herself growing more and more homesick ━ regarding Alison and their actual farmhouse. She misses the comfort that both provide and, although things have been shitty, she just wants to go home and hug the other girl. It’s been rough, to say the least, sleeping in her bar’s office as she tried to get some work done while thinking everything over. Unfortunately, in addition to the dreaded emotions she’s been going through, the girl can’t seem to stop absentmindedly playing with her finger ━ well, her “ring,” forgetting that it isn’t currently being worn.  _

_ Emily turns onto their street and, soon enough, into their driveway. She takes three deep breaths and looks at herself in the rearview mirror, noting the dark circles around her eyes. When she finally works up the courage, she opens the driver’s side door and pushes it with her foot, sliding out of the seat. Before she can even close the door, a cloth-covered hand restricts her breathing as it presses against her nose and mouth. At the same time, another arm wraps around her torso, and, within what feels like seconds, she’s shoved over the center console and into the passenger’s seat. As everything grows blurry, she hears the driver’s door shut, and then her eyes go black as the cloth recovers her nose and mouth. _

Sometime during Emily’s story, Alison began to break down severely, shaking her head as she buried it into her hands. The brunette watches the other girl cry hard and she frowns at the response because, well, they already knew that Noel is shit. 

“Ali, what’s going on?”

_ Alison hears the car door slam, much louder than she remembers, and she jolts out of her dream. Her eyes are practically thumping, and she struggles to read the time but manages to catch sight of the numbers through the massive blur: 9:51 P.M. _

“I heard the car door,” she shakes her head, “but I thought it was just wishful thinking.”

Emily looks away.

“ _ God _ ,” Alison breathes out, “this could have been avoided if I had just…” her eyes slam shut. “ _ All _ of this could have been avoided if I didn't━”

“Please, Ali, I can't stand to hear you blame yourself right now.”

“But this wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me,” her voice is choked up and Emily can see her shaking.

“Alison, you didn’t ask for any of this to happen. None of us did, really,” the brunette’s forehead creases as she pauses, “but it  _ did _ unfortunately happen and we can’t change that.”

The girl’s words cause Alison to break down heavily and she begins to cough after choking on a sob. Emily reaches for the bottle of water which sits on the coffee table, handing it to the girl who sounds like she’s going to pass out. The brunette mutters a soft “Drink” and Alison takes a few sips, breathing heavily and shaking her head again afterwards, scratching at her scalp. Emily looks at her with extreme sympathy and possibly a bit of guilt while the other girl avoids those sad, brown eyes. Alison looks at the ceiling and takes another round of deep breaths, shakily exhaling each time.

Her lower lip quivers once she believes that she’s done crying and her knuckles ball up as she hugs her knees close to her chest. At this point, the other girl has no idea what to do, so she places a comforting hand on Alison’s knee, squeezing gently. Alison stops whimpering at the contact and she glances at Emily who tilts her head. Soon, the blonde’s hand covers hers as they both breathe out. 

“Em, I’m so sorry,” Alison shakes her head. “I fucked everything up, I know. I just…” she trails off.

Emily studies the other girl’s body language and she listens to her words, noting what tone the blonde uses. Over the last few days, the brunette decided that, when they  _ do  _ talk about things, she needs to pay attention to the deeper meaning laced into the words that Alison speaks. Emily wants to trust her, she really does, but that’s going to be a challenge ━ at least for a bit. It’s not all on the other girl, however, and Emily knows that; really, she should have paid more attention, or possibly should have been more open-minded. Maybe Alison didn’t tell her everything because, well, the brunette  _ can  _ be stubborn ━ or determined, depending on the situation. It’s not an excuse, definitely not, but they both need to work on things… and maybe that’s the upside: Emily  _ is  _ willing to work on things. 

The brunette voices her thoughts, “I know you’re wondering whether or not we’re…” a sigh ends her sentence, not knowing how to word what she really wants to say. 

Alison swallows hard and removes her hand from Emily’s, more tears already causing a stinging sensation to fill her eyelids.

“No, Ali, don’t━” she cuts herself off and slams her eyes shut. “Don’t think that I’m leaving you.”

The blonde hugs her knees again, rubbing at her pajama pants as her eyes timidly meet the other girl’s. 

“Why aren’t you?” she finally finds her voice.

Emily opens her mouth and furrows her eyebrows, not really knowing how to answer that however  _ wanting  _ to. She lets out a soft grunt and clenches her jaw when her thoughts begin to fumble over one another, and Alison looks away.

“I wanted to come back the night I left,” she confesses suddenly. “I didn’t want to leave that note. I actually wanted to  _ talk  _ to you, but I knew that, if I did… things could have gotten so much worse. I was furious. I wanted to scream at you, honestly. I wanted to say that I’m done with you and just… leave, even if I knew I’d regret it.”

Her throat tightens up while speaking, so her voice regains its raspy sound before she attempts to take a deep breath.

“But, at the same time, I just wanted to forget it all. I keep saying that we left everything back in New York, but that’s clearly not the case and maybe it’s my fault for putting so much pressure on you.”

“Em, don’t excuse what I did, please,” she shuts her eyes and shakes her head while burying her face into her knees.

Emily plays with her bare fingers, “The entire time I was gone, I wanted to come back and talk to you. I wanted to know why you lied. For protection, fine, but… I kept feeling like there was more to it. Maybe, if there was, I’d understand better, but…” she takes another breath.

Alison falls silent, now sitting upright as she watches Emily’s eyes bore into the couch.

“I really don’t know how I’m going to get past the constant thought that you’re still hiding things from me,” she shakes her head with a sad whisper. “What if I can  _ never  _ get past it? What do we do, then? I can’t marry you if…” the brunette trails off with a teardrop falling.

Meanwhile, Alison is choking up severely as she watches the other girl’s inner struggle. She wants to reach out and hold Emily’s hand, just to feel her soft skin and tell her that she promises to never lie ever, ever,  _ ever  _ again, but who’s to say she’d even believe  _ that _ ? She wouldn’t, and Alison can’t blame her.

“I really thought I was protecting you,” the blonde’s voice is barely audible and the other girl watches her with sympathy and attempted understanding. “I know I keep saying that, but it’s the truth. I just wanted you safe.”

Emily bites her inner cheek, her eyes darting along the floor as she tries to focus on something other than Alison’s sad, regretful expression. 

“I know it’s the truth,” comes Emily’s eventual response. “At first I didn’t, but…” she trails off, “it still doesn’t mean that I understand how lying to me is protection.”

Alison’s eyes flicker to hers, a few tears sitting at the bottom as she blinks them away as quick as they appeared. She doesn’t want to cry anymore and she’ll try her hardest not to, but━

“Alison, what if you had died in that lodge fire?” Emily’s jaw clenches as she looks away suddenly, her voice now hard. “How would  _ anyone  _ explain that to me? I wouldn’t be able to connect the dots on my own and the only thing I’d be able to remember you by was how you constantly lead me on━”

“I wasn’t thinking at the time, Em,” her voice is strained and, really, it sounds like she’s pleading. “I just knew that, when I saw the fire, I  _ needed  _ to do something. I needed to  _ help  _ them. After all, it’s my━”

“Don’t you dare say it was your fault,” she warns. “They’re the ones who wandered off there in an attempt to capture A. You didn’t lure them to the lodge.”

“But there wouldn’t be an A if it wasn’t for me, Emily! There wouldn’t be anyone vengeful enough━” 

“The people who were A are  _ not  _ the only crappy people in the world, Alison! If it wasn’t A, it would be someone else who hurt Hanna, or Aria, or Spencer. Or you,” she rants, “or  _ me _ .”

Alison shakes her head.

“Why won’t you listen to me?!” she leans forward with wide eyes. “You didn’t  _ ask  _ for any of these  _ A’s _ to exist, and I know that you’d give anything to erase them from existence, including everything they did in the past.”

“Sure, I didn’t ask for A to exist, but I sure as hell was an easy target with the way I used to treat people. I’m not a good person, Em.”

“Then tell me why I can’t seem to not love you, ever. Why can’t I stop loving you if you’re such a bad person?” her voice cracks while two tears roll down her cheeks. “Even after I found out you lied to me time and time again…”

“You have such a big heart━”

“Oh, bullshit, Alison. You and I both know that I’ve learned to cut people off within seconds if need be. I had to, remember? I chose to leave with you, years ago, even though I knew I’d have to leave my  _ family _ .”

Alison looks down at her hands, playing with the ring she’s kept on her finger. 

“If you’re not a good person, then neither am I.”

“That’s not true, Emily.”

“Look at what I did last night! I killed a man and you can tell me that it’s what needed to be done as much as you want, but that doesn’t mean I believe it! I still see his face. I don’t even feel guilty for killing him and that  _ terrifies  _ me because what if I really  _ did  _ only shoot him out of jealousy? Just because you’re  _ mine _ and his words affected me. Not to mention…” she grits her teeth, eventually getting back to the main topic, “What then?! Am I still a good person?” 

Silence; extensive, thrashing,  _ sinister  _ silence. 

“Him and I… we didn’t…” Alison starts after two, long minutes, her voice trailing off. 

“He kissed me and, honestly, at the time, I wished that I could've kissed him back because I just felt so  _ abandoned _ …” she sucks in some air and Emily shifts her jaw.

“But I couldn't, and I don't know why even a fraction of me wished I could have,” Alison shakes her head. 

“I love you so much and I don’t want anyone else trying…” her eyes water again and this time a sob forces the tears out.

Emily chews on her lower lip, looking away from the crying girl in front of her. 

“How did you end up with him?” she asks, her voice solid and unreadable.

The blonde breathes deeply, “I went to the store to pick up some medicine. Something stronger than what we have here. I felt someone watching me while I was in there,” she raises her eyebrows, “I should have known, from the feeling, that the altercation was anything  _ but  _ friendly. He showed up too coincidentally.”

The brunette watches her relive what happened a few days prior, a sharp pain attacking her stomach and chest when she sees how troubled Alison looks. 

“He sounded so caring and I was so  _ tired  _ that I just broke down,” she continues while Emily immediately feels a tinge of guilt. “That’s when he asked me if I’d like to go back to his room and vent, and I really just… gave in. I wanted someone to hear me out. Someone who hadn’t been around for a while.”

“You could’ve called one of the girls,” Emily’s forehead creases.

Alison shakes her head, “No, I was afraid they wouldn’t listen because, well, I shouldn’t have lied. They probably wouldn’t have known what to say.”

“But Spencer did.”

“Yeah, that was  _ after  _ shit went down with Noel in his motel room. I needed someone who would listen  _ and  _ not try any moves on me,” she chuckles, sniffling afterwards.

“And she didn’t judge you for lying,” Emily says with a pointed tone.

Alison raises her head and rolls her eyes, causing Emily to shoot her a “just saying” expression. 

“Em, I really don’t know what else to say to you. I know I’m an idiot and probably far beyond that… but tell me how I can…” she sighs, “just tell me how to fix things and I’ll do whatever, even if that means giving you space.”

The blonde’s blue eyes swirl with heavy regret and Emily notices instantly, frowning slightly before she looks away; she doesn’t want space and she just wishes that they could go back to normal, but she knows that it’s far-fetched because her own inner thoughts are clashing more and more by the second. So, she sighs before she’s able to speak again.

“I need time, Ali. Not necessarily  _ space _ , but time to heal. I’m just so  _ damaged  _ right now. I want to be with you and, honestly, I really just want to kiss you,” the brunette laughs sadly when a tear falls, “but I know that, if I do, I won’t be able to stop… and then my thoughts might end up killing me.”

Alison swallows hard, nodding while she bites her bottom lip.

“I don’t know how I’ll get over the things you’ve hidden from me, small or not,” she confesses suddenly. “I don’t know how I’ll ever silence the rampant thoughts that keep telling me you’ll do it again, or that you’re still doing it right now,” she sighs, “but we can work on it. I  _ want  _ to work on it.”

Their eyes meet, albeit they’re blurred with tears, but it’s a mutual understanding.

Emily sighs again, “I know you want to protect me, Ali, but not telling me things  _ won’t  _ protect me. Lying only drives me away and puts us in dangerous situations. You should know that by now. If you want to protect me, then you need to be open with me. I’ll always try to understand and we’ll compromise.”

Alison nods, looking at the cushion between them.

“I want to protect you just as much, but I can’t do that if I don’t know where you truly are,” the brunette finishes.

“Okay,” comes the whisper.

They sit there, semi-awkwardly, the only audible sounds being their sniffles and position-shifting. Alison clears her throat, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand as Emily tries to focus elsewhere, still not trusting herself when it comes to staring at the blonde because she  _ really  _ just wants to kiss her.

“Should I call Hanna and tell her to forget about the planning?” Alison asks out of nowhere, her eyes avoiding Emily because she won’t be able to face the potential flat-out rejection.

Emily shakes her head after a long pause, “Give me a few days to  _ really  _ think and we’ll work from there.”

Alison nods, “However long you need.”

The brunette wrings her hands and grimaces at the bare feeling on her finger, eyes beginning to water once again. Alison notices but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she watches Emily stand up and walk around the coffee table, sniffling hard as she makes it to the kitchen threshold before the blonde calls her name suddenly.

“Hm?” she turns around to face Alison who is now standing, a cautious look written across her features.

“Can I…” she bites her inner cheek. “Can I hug you?”

Emily’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but she doesn’t reject the other girl; she simply walks over to the blonde and wraps her in a warm hug, tightening the embrace as much as she can without making both of them uncomfortably squished. Alison melts into the hug, nuzzling her head into the crook of Emily’s neck as she takes in the brunette’s scent, feeling more at home than she has in days.

“I love you,” another tear falls from Alison’s eye, landing on the other girl’s shirt.

Emily settles on kissing the blonde’s temple, muttering a small “I love you too” as they remain embraced for minutes longer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, so much packed into this chapter. Umm… alright, let's start at the end:
> 
> They finally talked about a lot. Sure, they still have some ways to go, but they definitely talked through some of their complications. I think it's realistic that Emily wants to stay with Alison despite what happened before she walked out. A lot of people may be like "Why the hell would she stick around after Alison lied?" but I feel like most people can't fully put themselves in this position. Emily's been with this girl for years upon years, and she's fully aware that this lie took place before they even got together, so she's somewhat walking the line of "Okay, this was so long ago so why should I let this ruin our future?" and "She lied and that's a definite no-go." So, because of this, she may or may not quickly "get over" Alison lying (both because of time-purposes and circumstances).
> 
> Moving forward, we're going to enter a massive clusterfuck of Emily trying to sort out of her internal thoughts and she's going to be a bit awkward. Alison, on the other hand, will grant Emily her space while wondering what's going too far and what's being too distant. Speaking of Alison, it's nice to see how much she's grown, individually. In one of the first chapters (after the prologue), she says, "I don't want to talk," and almost uses Emily for physical comfort. Now, it's the other way around, and Alison says, "I just want to talk." She's grown a lot, if you go backwards in the story, and she'll continue to grow.
> 
> How about Halison? For Hanna to stand up against Caleb on Alison's behalf… it has to mean something. Halison's going to be improving a lot. For this story, I decided to mix up the "best friend" pairings. A lot of times (including in TM&HS), Hannily and Sparia are the main focus. For this story, we're going to have a lot of Halison, Hannily, Sparia, Spalison, and (my personal favorite for this) Emaria. Like I said previously, I think Aria is always just… there. For this, she has a prominent part in a future chapter (revolving around Emily), and she's an equal part of the story.
> 
> To address Caleb's entrance: He's going to be a pain for a good chunk of the remaining chapters. He won't appear much, but he'll be brought up quite a bit for a few reasons. Also, did anyone catch how "You're the reason why she's lying in a hospital bed right now" was basically foreshadowed by Ch. 10 Alison saying to Hanna, "You could get into a car accident and it'd somehow be my fault when I didn't do shit"?
> 
> Okay, time to generally talk about what Emily's going to deal with as we move forward: I know I tagged this story with PTSD, but I'm going to expand and clarify… There are variations of PTSD, and what Emily's going to deal with is something that stems from guilt which was created by the hint of jealousy she was struck with towards the end of Ch. 12 when she shot Noel. Because of this, it'll be tricky. I don't want anyone thinking I'm ignoring obvious signs of PTSD, but, for the sake of this story, there will be a clear-cut trigger and she'll heal over time.
> 
> I'm excited to say that next chapter has all five of our babies back together. It's a much-needed venting (sort of) session and it'll feel kind of warm. On the other hand, Alison will somewhat unravel, but it's good because she's starting to heal as an individual and she's beginning to accept events that have happened in the past.
> 
> Now that I've written what looks like a whole separate chapter for this author's note…
> 
> Next update: Tuesday (the latest) since I early-updated today.
> 
> I'll see you then, and don't forget to let me know what you think about a possible second part to "January of 2011", even if it's via PM on here and/or over anonymous (or otherwise) asks on Tumblr ("capn-charlie").


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early again, I know, I know, I'm sorry.
> 
> Guys, we're under 100 days until 7B (see my Tumblr for the countdown) and I couldn't be any more anxiousexcitednervousscaredupsetandorhappy.
> 
> Alright, so… for now, I'm locking away the idea of a part two for this story ━ but, by the way, I think I made it seem way darker than I was intending, I'm sorry; I was attempting to shorten the synopsis of it which basically cut out all the fluffy aspects so everyone was giving me feedback like "...um…" On the other hand, I'm not getting rid of the concept completely, don't worry (to those of you who would like to see it), but I took some time to think of a new storyline for a multi-chapter and, alas, I have found one and I've already written a chapter and a half. For those of you who have read "Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories", it'll likely have a similar vibe. It'll be AU for the most part (except the girls actually went to school together six year prior to present-day; no "A" nonsense), the story is not very dark (and, honestly, it's pretty entertaining), but there's a bit of drama to spice things up. Honestly, I agree that we all could use a little reprieve from angst, which is what some of you said. So, I won't tell you too much about the idea right now, but I'm in the process of writing the second chapter (yes, everything is already completely outlined) and I hope everyone likes the sound of it because I'm going to be sticking to this idea. Extra hint: If you like anything related to clichés or scenarios that basically scream "HOWDIDTHISHAPPEN" with a side of stubborn Emison, you'll probably enjoy this new multi-chapter.
> 
> For now, let's stay with this story.

Emily sits at the kitchen table, using her thumbs to rub at her eyes. She’s been staring at this work spreadsheet for merely two hours now and everything is starting to blend together. Initially, she was planning on taking a quick look at it but, eventually, the numbers sucked her in and she thought a little work would take her mind off of everything. Really, the girl doesn’t know if she’s right or wrong when it comes to the distraction; the entire document began to annoy her within the first twenty minutes. She sighs.

“Why don’t you take a break, Em?” Alison makes her way over to where the brunette is sitting, tilting her head with slight sympathy. 

The other girl breathes out, “I don’t want to put work off just because of…” her voice trails off.

It’s been five days since you-know-what happened with you-know-who and, although most people would thoroughly enjoy taking their free time to heal, Emily’s been on edge for at least three of those past five days. Alison, on the other hand, took the week off just to comfort Emily as much as possible ━ not to say that she, herself, doesn’t need some time to recuperate; it’s just easier to admit that she’d like to help Emily instead of herself. 

“Emily, you’ve been through something traumatic,” she shakes her head and kneels down so she’s looking into those brown eyes. “You need to let yourself breathe.”

The brunette purses her lips and looks at her hands which rest atop the table.

“If I let myself stop and take a moment to breathe, then I allow myself to think about what happened and I just can’t afford to do that, Alison.”

Alison nods slightly as she stands up straight. After a few seconds of mounting silence, she bends over and kisses the side of Emily’s head, though she wishes that she could connect their lips instead. Although it’s been five days, they haven’t exactly progressed in  _ that  _ department and Alison isn’t about to rush anything.

“I’m going to shower before everyone gets here,” the blonde informs in a quiet tone. “I left the door unlocked since they should be here within fifteen or so. Do you need anything before I go upstairs?”

Emily just shakes her head.

Alison sighs, “Okay. I’ll be back soon.”

As she walks away, the brunette slams her eyes shut and turns around in her seat.

“Alison,” the girl’s name falls from her lips before she can stop it and then she’s stuck.

“Hm?”

She bites her lower lip and evades the other girl’s curious gaze, internally smacking herself for saying anything. 

“Thank you,” she settles on saying, “for everything.”

The blonde stares at her, head tilted and eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and then she hastily nods. Emily offers her a shy smile before turning back to her laptop, attempting to refocus herself although having a difficult time. 

She thinks about the past however-many days and how they’ve been…  _ improving _ . At first, Emily thought that they wouldn’t be able to get back to normal easily; she thought that, maybe, something big would have to happen in order for her to regain trust when it comes to Alison but, surprisingly, she feels comforted. Since everything happened, the blonde has done nothing but spill her guts about each and every thing, not allowing herself to leave out any detail in fear that the other girl will catch her in an unintended lie. At one point, Emily had to tell Alison to slow down because she rambled for a solid two minutes about one of her Rosewood visits. The brunette wasn’t exactly the  _ happiest  _ camper because, well, she still loathes the fact that Alison visited the other girls when she so pointedly expressed that they couldn’t do that, but she’s content with the information she’s learned over the past few days. Overall, the blonde hasn’t left out any details and Emily genuinely  _ feels  _ the honesty beginning to flow between them. She’s thought about how soon it may seem for her to trust the other girl again, but Alison’s been her home for years and she’s willing to sort through feelings just to fight off her insecurities; really, she knows that Alison is trying her hardest and that’s more than enough at this point.

Additionally, Emily’s been feeling solid aside from the fact that, at night, her hand cramps up as if she’s still holding that damn weapon ━ and one time she even woke up crying frantically. The other girl held her tight for hours after, making sure that the brunette fell back to sleep before she did.

_ “Em, maybe you should see someone━” _

_ “I am not seeing a therapist,” she shakes her head and sniffles harshly.  _

_ “Okay, okay, I’m just suggesting it. I’d even go with you, if you’d like.” _

_ “Alison, I’m not━” _

_ “Emily, relax. I just want you feeling better, okay? Whatever you want or need to do, we’ll do it. It’s your call.” _

_ The other girl swallows hard as she nuzzles into Alison’s neck, “I’m sorry I’m so snappy.” _

_ Next, she feels a pair of lips pressing against her forehead and she smiles slightly, though Alison can’t see. _

In her dreams, she’s haunted. Not because she’s still seeing Noel’s face, but because she hears a loud crack and then a white light consumes her until her eyes fly open. Often, her skin is sticky once she’s woken up and it causes her to grimace at the feeling when attempting to roll over. Emily’s even tried to sleep downstairs one night, feeling afraid that her constant sleeplessness would bother the girl who laid beside her ━ and even cuddled her.

_ Alison rubs her eyes as she wanders into the living room, dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt.  _

_ “Emily? What are you doing down here?” she tries to focus on the girl who’s stretched across one of the couches.  _

_ “I kept waking up and I didn’t want to disturb you,” the brunette shakes her head as she continues to stare at the ceiling.  _

_ “The only thing that disturbed me was you not being there when I woke up,” Alison moves Emily’s feet so she can sit down.  _

_ “I’m sorry.” _

_ “Don’t be sorry. I know you feel like your insomnia is a problem for me, but it’s not. I promise.” _

_ “You deserve to get a good night’s sleep, Ali.” _

_ “Mhm,” the blonde pushes the other girl’s body slightly so she can shimmy into the space behind her, pressed against the couch’s back, “I know I do. You do too.” _

_ “Ali━” _

_ “Shh,” Alison shushes while rubbing her thumb along Emily’s lower lip, “I’m not going upstairs until you come with me.” _

So, because of Emily’s stubborn ass (and Alison’s), the two slept on the couch for the entire night ━ actually  _ slept _ . The brunette remembers how the other girl’s body always fits so perfectly against her own and how Alison’s nose crinkles sometimes as she sleeps ━ two things she had paid attention to before falling asleep that night.

She smiles while sitting at the kitchen table, glancing at her engagement ring which sits near the edge of the surface. Her eyes look away for a moment, almost as if the sight of the piece of jewelry not being on her finger is painful ━ because it  _ is  _ painful, she huffs. Before Emily knows it, she’s reaching for the ring and twirling it between two of her fingers, just examining the beautiful circle as she leans back in her chair. Tears well up in her eyes as she thinks about what could have been ━ and what  _ still  _ could be if they just repaired everything. 

A quiet knock on the front door flows through the kitchen but Emily doesn’t move; she continues to play with the ring, her eyes shifting around the piece. She doesn’t even notice Hanna walking into the kitchen, a slight, sad smile covering her features.

“She  _ sure  _ picked out a nice ring,” the blonde smiles gently, sitting down adjacent to Emily who finally snaps out of her trance. 

“Sorry,” the brunette shakes her head violently, practically dropping the ring onto the table, “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Hanna nods and looks at the piece of jewelry, timidly glancing at Emily like she’s asking a question. The other girl bites her inner cheek and tries to look away as Hanna picks up the ring to take a closer look, nodding to herself with raised eyebrows.

“Damn,” she comments, “Ali has good taste. It’s very…  _ you _ .”

“How do you know what’s  _ me _ ?” Emily questions with a mocking tone, breathing out a small laugh.

“Well, judging based on the Emily I once knew… I’m sure you didn’t change into someone who loves super flashy things,” Hanna dares.

The other girl’s smile grows a fraction bigger and the blonde nods when she realizes that she’s correct. They look at one another, having some sort of unspoken conversation for a few seconds before Hanna decides to break the silence with great sympathy.

“Are you okay, Em?”

The brunette licks her lips slightly, getting annoyed with the constant chapped and peeled skin. She breathes out and looks down, concerning the girl who sits nearby.

“I don’t know, honestly,” she settles on saying. “I keep scaring myself. I don’t feel guilty for what I did. Not one bit. Honestly, part of me wishes I did. Because of that, I feel like I’m kicking myself in the ass and I’m…  _ drained _ .”

“I probably wouldn’t feel guilty, either. Your life was threatened, Emily.  _ Alison’s  _ life was threatened. That’s the girl you’ve built your entire world around. She matters.”

“But I don’t think I shot him out of self-defense, Hanna. He said a ton of shit before…” she shakes her head. “I don’t know if I pulled the trigger because of the thought of him with Alison, or…”

Hanna purses her lips and crosses her arms.

“Is that why you’re still not wearing your ring? Because you think she and him…” she trails off, not wanting to say something that’ll give Emily any other ideas.

“That’s not the reason, no,” Emily shakes her head and swallows hard.

“Is it because of the lying?” 

The brunette’s nostrils flare and a tear escapes her eye. Hanna’s eyes slam shut and she breathes out. 

“Are you two trying to work on it?” she pries.

Emily nods, “She’s been telling me everything that happened when she had visited you guys back then and we’ve been talking.”

“That’s good, then,” the blonde tries to get a smile out of the sad girl sitting a chair away from her.

“What if…” Emily starts, trailing off soon after, “what if we can’t make things work? God, I love her so fucking much,” a few more tears fall and she looks like she’s about to panic.

“I know you do,” Hanna offers a sad smile, quick to calm Emily as much as she can, “and I know she loves you just as much. It’s nice to see.”

The brunette looks up and locks eyes with the other girl, raising a slight eyebrow when Hanna offers a pair of surrendering hands.

“I’m allowed to admit things,” the blonde’s eyes widen as she leans back again.

Emily falls silent and her expression becomes unreadable as she stares at the table’s surface ━  _ and  _ the ring that sits in the center. 

“Look, things are tough now,” Hanna gives some insight, “but they won’t always be this way. You’ll make things work. I can see it written across your face that you still want to marry that girl because you haven’t stopped looking at your ring since I got here and we both know she’d drive to a chapel tonight if you asked.”

Emily gets out a small laugh, sniffling after.

“Don’t give up on you two, Em,” she shakes her head. “You’ve come this far and you’ve risked everything just to be together.” 

The brunette nods.

“Plus, I’m not about to lose a pair of clients, so get your act together,” she jokes, earning a playful eye roll from the other girl. 

Before either girl can say anything else, Alison comes walking down the stairs. She smiles upon seeing Hanna sitting next to the brunette, offering a quiet “Hey, Hanna” as she steps onto the kitchen floor. 

“We were just talking about you,” Hanna returns the smile and Emily’s eyes widen as she looks back at the feisty wedding planner.

“What?” the same blonde squeaks out. “Just because you’re damaged doesn’t mean I’m not going to rat you out twenty-four-seven.”

“What about me?” Alison raises an eyebrow and Emily clears her throat. 

Another knock sounds at the front door and the brunette breathes out as Alison leaves the room to answer it. The pair hear the door open with a round of greetings and Spencer walks into the kitchen. Hanna offers her a brief yet genuine smile and Spencer returns the sentiment, immediately turning her attention to Emily afterwards.

“How are you doing?”

“I wish people would stop asking that,” she gets out a slight laugh. “I don’t know. I’ll be fine, eventually.”

Alison stands near Spencer, biting her bottom lip as she avoids Emily’s apologetic eyes. Hanna, on the other hand, sighs.

“Do you want to move into the living room? It might get a bit cramped in the kitchen once all five of us are in here.”

“Yeah,” Emily nods.

The four girls walk into the living room, getting situated in whatever seat they decide to claim. Right when they sit down, another knock at the door flows through the space and Alison begins to get up.

“I’ll get it,” Emily interrupts and Alison cautiously sits back down.

Hanna’s eyes flicker between the couple (she refuses to title them as anything else) and she sighs again. Spencer, on the other hand, types away at a message on her phone before sliding the device back into her pocket so she can get comfortable. When Emily makes it over to the door, she opens the barrier to reveal a shorter brunette who flashes a sympathetic smile.

“How━”

“I’m fine,” Emily offers a short laugh and Aria smiles sheepishly. “Thanks for asking, though. Come in.”

Aria passes by the girl who locks the door. Eventually, Emily turns to see everyone else already situated ━ and Aria is actually sitting next to Spencer, as per Hanna’s not-so-subtle hints, A.K.A. her leaving a  _ very  _ obvious gap in-between her and Spencer. Emily bites her inner cheek and walks further into the room, cautiously sitting down next to Alison on one of the couches with the three remaining girls sitting on the other. 

Sometime during the week, Spencer declared that she was stopping by and, surprisingly (or maybe not), she invited the two other girls;  _ “Alison and Emily need us right now. I don’t care what kind of terms we’re on.”  _ Neither Aria nor Hanna put up much of a fight. Actually, they didn’t refuse one bit. All three girls ended up,  _ somehow _ , planning this little get-together and Spencer notified Alison just yesterday of the abrupt visit. 

_ “I don’t know, Spence,” Alison sighs into the phone while rubbing at her eye. “We’re still so exhausted and Em hasn’t been sleeping much. I just want her comfortable.” _

_ “She needs support, Alison. I’m sure you give her plenty of it, but it couldn’t exactly hurt.” _

_ “Yeah…” she drawls, “but I’m sure all of you will want to know, exactly, what happened and I don’t know if she’s ready to face that yet. She could barely explain anything to me the other day.” _

_ “If we strike any nerves, we’ll leave if you think it’s best for her, but you need to ask Emily how she feels about the visit because, in the end, you don’t know what she’s thinking.” _

After the call, Alison had asked Emily what she thought about the idea of a group visit and the brunette didn’t really give her a direct response. It was more along the lines of a shrug and a curt humming noise. In the end, Alison said,  _ “Okay, well, they’re coming. Tell me if you change your mind,”  _ and the other girl nodded. 

“So, um,” Hanna clears her throat, “I’m trying to figure out a way to ask how you are without directly asking how you are,” she chuckles.

Emily breathes out a tiny laugh and shifts against the couch. Alison looks at the girl beside her with a nervous expression and the brunette gives her a slight “it’s okay” kind of head nod. 

“I’m… managing,” she nods again. 

Hanna mimics the gesture. 

“And what about you, Ali?” Spencer wonders aloud, causing the blonde’s head to raise at her name. 

“Some days are better than others,” comes the cryptic reply. 

Silence flows through the room and it’s pretty damn awkward which makes everyone shift in their seat. The only nearby sound is the ticking of a wall-clock and, while it fills the room with the same annoying sound for minutes, Emily wants to rip it off the wall. Finally, when the brunette can’t bear the silence anymore, she speaks up in a slightly raspy voice. 

“I’m sure you’re all wondering what happened,” she clears her throat and Alison looks at her again with nervous eyes.

The other girls all exchange glances, especially because Emily is right ━ but Spencer and the others all vowed not to flat-out ask.

“After everyone left the other night, I had to think for a while,” she tries her hardest not to look at Alison who shrinks back against the couch. 

“It’s not important,” Emily shakes her head once she starts again, “but, when I was coming home Sunday night, I don’t know. I remember stepping out of my car and a hand wrapped around my face, and then…” she trails off, “I woke up to a vice grip around my body, and then I saw Ali…”

“Em, you really don’t have to━” Aria tries, only to get cut off by the brunette who wants to explain what happened.

“I know I don’t, but you’re all involved in this,” she confesses and each girl’s eyes narrow in confusion. 

“Wait,” Hanna interrupts, “he was… A?” her voice is barely a whisper at the end and Alison shares a look with Emily. 

Based off the look shared between Emily and Alison, Hanna scoffs and crosses her arms. Aria’s eyes are widened as she shakes her head and Spencer’s expression is a mixture between Hanna’s and Aria’s. Alison shifts again, wishing that she could take everyone’s pain away. 

“He tortured us,” comes Hanna’s soft realization.

“I  _ dated  _ him,” Aria grits her teeth once her own memories hit.

Alison looks away before turning back to share another piece of information. 

“Noel wasn’t the only one.”

At the statement, three pairs of eyes shoot her way once again and Emily reaches for the blonde’s hand to comfort her a bit. Alison looks at her with genuine surprise, but she takes the girl’s hand with a tiny smile. 

“He wasn’t the only A?” Hanna asks, forehead creasing. “So, you mean to tell me that there was more than one A, after Mona?”

Alison sighs, “Actually, he said that Mona came in  _ after  _ other A’s already existed.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Hanna━” Spencer attempts to interrupt but she’s cut off by the same blonde girl.

“No,” she shakes her head, “I’m allowed to be upset. You are too. We  _ all  _ are. Seriously? More than one A? As if one person wasn’t sick enough.” 

“No, I know we’re allowed to be upset,” Spencer tries, “but…” she tries to subtly nod her head towards Alison and Emily, however fails when the couple looks away with slight annoyance of being babied. 

“So, who was it? Tell me so I can go and find them right now,” she continues her rant. “I’m not that scared little teenager anymore. I’ll make their lives ten times worse than they ever made mine.”

“Hanna, just chill out,” it’s Aria’s turn to try and calm the angry blonde girl, giving her a stern expression. 

Hanna finally relents, relaxing back against the couch cushions with a huff. Alison looks at the ground, playing with Emily’s fingers as she debates on telling the other girls or not. In the end, her conscience pushes her to because, well, she promised that she’d be honest from now on ━ even if Emily’s giving her those eyes that say “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“From what I got out of Noel,” Alison takes a deep breath, “it was him, Paige, CeCe, and my brother,” she looks down again, slamming her eyes shut and shaking her head repeatedly, “but I’m not sure if there were others.” 

“Jason?” Spencer’s eyes bug and Aria stiffens a bit, hugging her body.

“And Paige?” Hanna directs at Emily who clenches her jaw and looks away.

“And CeCe,” Aria softly adds. “But… we only met her once after you guys ran away. Why would she care?”

“I think she was just helping Noel,” Alison sighs. “Apparently she only acted as A a few times and I doubt she did much. Noel said he needed someone who looked like me but, after a bit, she felt guilty, so…” her voice trails off.

“Well, did he give you any explanations as to  _ why _ everyone decided to target us?” Spencer furrows her eyebrows.

The blonde girl swallows hard, closing her eyes before she looks at her hand that’s holding onto Emily’s. The brunette looks at her curiously, noting how she’s likely struggling to tell the truth because she doesn’t want any arguments tonight. When Alison continues to avoid speaking, Emily leans over and whispers.

“Ali, be honest with them. I’m not going to hold anything against you, okay? I promise.”

Alison looks at her with watery eyes, nodding slowly. It takes another minute to gather herself, even if the information isn’t all that scandalous to begin with. 

“I think that a lot of it had to do with the way I treated people before I left,” she speaks quietly. “I held a lot of secrets near and dear to my heart, but they weren't  _ my  _ secrets and that was a type of…  _ control _ . I tore into a lot of people using that power, even more than I’ll ever allow myself to remember,” the girl grimaces, looking away.

Silence; four pairs of eyes watch the troubled blonde, not wanting to interrupt when she looks like she's thinking hard. 

“Also,” comes the whisper, “when I first left Rosewood, both Mona and Noel were helping me with money… because I was blackmailing them.”

No one in the room blinks and Alison internally rolls her eyes at their blatant lack of surprise.

“More so Noel than Mona because Mona didn’t seem to need convincing. She was happy I was gone, which is why I didn’t ask for a lot from her. It’s shitty, but I think I only fought against Noel more because I knew it bothered him. With Mona, she didn’t care, so it wasn’t as interesting. I don’t know about any of the others’ specific motives other than the secret-snatching. Not even my brother’s,” again, she looks away from their partial sympathetic expressions.

“What were you blackmailing Noel with?” Aria asks after a few seconds of silence, narrowing her eyes.

“Something having to do with the N.A.T. videos I found. I barely remember,” she shakes her head and bitterly laughs. “God, I’m so fucked up.”

“You’ve done some fucked up things, Alison,” the other blonde nods, “but that doesn’t mean  _ we’re  _ saints,” she motions to the two girls sitting next to her. 

“You could’ve had such normal lives if it weren’t for me,” Alison’s voice cracks. 

Emily’s eyebrows furrow and she glances at the blonde sitting next to her. She’s upset, to say the least, that Alison is, once again, blaming everything on herself, but she’s trying to understand where the girl is coming from. It’s difficult, however, because Alison doesn’t seem to understand, herself, that she’s not in this alone and that they’ve all messed things up at least a time or two before ━ or  _ thousands  _ of times, Emily muses. On the other hand, throughout the last few days, Alison has died down on the self-loathing and she keeps her mouth shut whenever the brunette shoots her a tired look once she can tell that the blonde is even contemplating saying that it’s her fault; they’re both improving, Emily notes.

“Normal is overrated,” Spencer offers a smile.

Aria hums in agreement, looking at Spencer and offering her a tiny smile.

“I’m so sorry,” comes Alison’s soft voice again, tears now dripping down her cheeks as she looks at each girl individually. “You guys were practically used as bait to lure me in. I messed up so many lives that people targeted my  _ friends  _ just to get back at me.”

She continues, “I’m so sorry that I roped all of you into this. I was so young and so,  _ so  _ stupid, and I can’t tell you how much I wish I could go back in time and erase everything. Take back every lie I told and unbreak every person’s heart.”

Emily glances at Alison and Hanna doesn’t miss it, so she looks away with a tinge of pain in her chest.

“You’re right, Hanna,” Alison takes a few deep breaths and continues again, “I did abandon you. All of you. Even Em, at the beginning.”

“But I chose to run away with you,” Emily interrupts.

“Yes, I know you chose it,” Alison looks at the girl, “but that doesn’t erase the fact that I did, initially, abandon you.”

“Ali,” Aria speaks up, “this isn’t all on you. I told you that the other day. We all messed up and we all drifted apart because of one thing or another.”

“I don’t know if I believe that,” the blonde shakes her head and wipes her eyes with her free hand. “I’m trying to, but…”

“ _ I _ believe that,” it’s Hanna’s turn to speak. “Look, when you first showed up in my office, I thought I was going insane. Honestly, I thought that I had passed out and I was in the middle of a nightmare, but I wasn’t.”

“I hope there’s a point to this story, Hanna,” Spencer interrupts with a blunt tone. 

“There is,” she continues. “Before that day, I had shoved everything so far back into my mind that I forgot what it was like to really  _ feel _ . Even if it wasn’t a good feeling, I didn’t realize how numb I was until you two walked through that door. After that,  _ fuck _ , it’s like everything hit me at once. I was torn between wanting to punch you both and hug you both. Even now, I’m still trying to figure out which I want.”

Alison studies the other girl’s expression, not being able to read Hanna’s thoughts as clear as she wishes she could. 

Hanna nods, more so to herself, “For the longest time, even after we came face to face again, I blamed you. It was  _ always  _ Alison DiLaurentis’ fault, in my mind. That is… until I learned that you haven’t had it easy and now I know that I was only putting everything on you because I thought the perfect Alison DiLaurentis ended up with the best life after she put me through hell. Now I see that’s not the case and, no offense, but I feel relieved to know that your life sucks just as much.”

Spencer rolls her eyes hard and Alison breathes out a small laugh while Emily and Aria furrow their eyebrows.

“I can’t say that my life sucks entirely,” Alison mumbles and Emily feels the girl’s grip tightening a little bit. 

Hanna looks at their clasped hands and raises an eyebrow at Alison who blushes while looking away. 

“I  _ really  _ wanted to hide from you guys  _ forever _ ,” Aria confesses out of nowhere, looking at Emily, “but when I saw you and Spencer that day, I just knew… I  _ couldn’t _ . I knew I was going to have to face all of you sooner or later. Don’t get me wrong, I was going to try my hardest to delay the inevitable as much as possible, but that didn’t work out since you and Hanna were at my door soon after.”

Emily ducks her head.

“She was persistent!” Hanna’s eyes bug, motioning to the brunette who continues to duck her head.

“So were you!” Aria throws back, laughing a little. 

“Because I was━”

“Anyway,” the small brunette cuts Hanna off, earning a frown, “I’m…  _ glad  _ you convinced me into talking again. I didn’t realize how much I had bottled up until we all got together a week ago. I’ve felt lighter since then, regardless of everything that’s been happening, and I actually want to thank you for that.  _ All  _ of you, really,” she looks at Spencer, “even you.” 

Spencer offers her a smile and feels her eyes starting to water, and Aria gives her a short head nod in understanding. When Spencer looks at the ceiling, she takes a deep breath before turning her attention back towards everyone.

“Maybe we’re all meeting up again for a reason,” she shrugs. “Maybe it’s like a second chance, of sorts. A do-over, I guess. We don’t have to be how we were, but it doesn’t need to be a mosh pit every time shit gets brought up.”

“Mhm,” Hanna hums in agreement, “but, don’t get me wrong, I haven’t forgiven everyone just yet. You’re all still on my list.” 

Everyone nods in sync, eventually being taken over by a big wave of silence ━ until Hanna speaks again.

She groans, “Does this mean we can stop tiptoeing around while using our ‘new’ names? I’m so sick of not knowing whether to call someone their old name or legal name.”

“I mean… I can’t exactly  _ change  _ my name back,” Aria eyes Hanna, “but you’re all welcome to call me whatever you feel is appropriate.”

“Okay, Short Stack,” Hanna raises an eyebrow.

“ _ Except _ that.”

“Wait, we can just  _ use  _ our old names? Won’t that be a bit odd if we go from one to the other? Not that I’m complaining. Honestly, I got sick of using ‘Harlow’ years ago,” her eyes widen towards the end of her confession.

“People use weird nicknames all the time,” Spencer makes a face. “They won’t track us down and hound us if we don’t use our legal names.”

“A would,” Hanna offers.

“A isn’t here anymore,” Aria intervenes.

Everyone nods in agreement, though they’re more so silently hoping that they’re correct. 

“I’m the same as Aria,” Spencer speaks again. “I’m not afraid of A or whoever-the-hell decided to make our lives nightmares back then, so you know I’ll always answer to ‘Spencer’ when you guys call me.” 

“I’m still Harlow,” Hanna nods her head, earning a round of looks.

“You literally just said━”

She huffs, “I’m kidding, jeez.” 

“Hanna,” Alison speaks and the other blonde’s eyes snap to hers, “ _ please _ stop calling me Vivian,” she breathes out a pained laugh and Hanna playfully rolls her eyes.

“But Vivian is listed as my client,” she challenges and Emily’s lips part.

Alison slightly bites her bottom lip, trying to avoid the brunette’s gaze since she feels as though Emily might be a bit upset by Hanna’s words. In reality, however, Emily just wants kick Hanna in the shin for bringing it up in front of everyone. 

Spencer clears her throat, “And I’ve been calling you Em this entire time, so,” she directs at the brunette who offers another solid head nod.

“Wait,” Aria interrupts as she looks at Emily, “what did you change your name to, again?”

“Embrey Fields,” Hanna answers for her, causing the tanned girl to throw a glare at the blonde who interrupted. “What?” she squeaks out.

“Aw, you kept your last name?” Aria smiles. “I love it.”

Alison smiles softly as she looks at her hands, earning a knowing look from Aria who decides not to put the girl on the spot.

“Okay, so now that  _ that’s  _ settled,” Hanna shifts in her seat. “I  _ have  _ to bring it up… Caleb isn’t too happy with this.”

The other blonde glances at Hanna who wears an apologetic expression.

“But,” Hanna continues, “I make my own decisions and he needs to understand that.”

“Ezra is the same way,” Aria confesses. “When he found out about our visit last week, he flipped. He’s fine now, but pretty annoyed that I lied. I originally told him I went out to dinner with an old colleague.”

Emily bites her bottom lip and glances at Alison, carefully looking away when the blonde turns her head a fraction. 

“Toby’s unbiased about the entire thing. He’s just trying to do his job when it comes to the whole thing with Noel. Other than that, I think he just wants me happy,” Spencer adds her piece.

“Speaking of Noel,” she continues, “Alison, Toby mentioned that you’ll have to give an official statement sometime soon.”

The blonde girl nods and Emily’s forehead creases.

“What about me?”

“No, Em, I’ll do it. It’s fine,” Alison rubs at Emily’s knuckles once she takes her hand again. 

“I don’t want you to have to do it alone,” she shakes her head.

“Spencer will be with me. I’ll be okay.”

She turns to Spencer, “Can we go tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, definitely. I don’t have work or school.”

“Good,” the blonde shifts.

“Shit,” Hanna breathes out whilst looking at her phone, “I’ve gotta go. I forgot that I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out. I’m sorry, um,” she gets up and looks around at the others. 

When no one moves, she huffs, “Come on. I wanted to hug you guys before I leave but, if I have to yell at you, it  _ kind of _ loses its sentiment.” 

One by one, each girl gets up and hugs Hanna who thoroughly enjoys every embrace ━ even with Alison who Hanna actually squeezes harder. She leaves immediately after, running out the front door with a quick “Okayokaybye.” They all chuckle at the girl and then Spencer sighs.

“I should probably get going, as well. I have a late shift tonight and I want to take a short nap beforehand.”

“Yeah, and I have an hour drive to get through before I get to cook dinner, so, I guess I’m leaving too,” Aria rubs at her arms. 

Again, everyone hugs, even though Aria and Spencer take a long look at one another before embracing. It’s heartfelt and Emily smiles at the two. They leave a few moments later and that’s when Alison whispers that she’ll be right back. She exits the living room, leaving Emily alone with her thoughts as she leans against the wall. Within seconds, however, she jumps when a knock at the door sounds again. Opening the barrier, Aria comes into view and Emily raises an eyebrow.

“Forget something?”

“Yeah, actually. My phone,” she chuckles. 

Emily nods and leads her back into the living room, quickly grabbing the device and handing it to the shorter brunette. Aria offers her a sweet smile and goes to walk down the front porch stairs, however pauses when she hears her name, turning around to see Emily standing on the porch.

“Mhm?” she hums with a tight-lipped smile and Emily stands there with a shy expression.

“I was wondering… can we hang out sometime? Just us two? I think I need some advice.”

“You  _ think  _ you need some advice?”

Emily breathes out while nodding, “Yes, I need some advice.” 

“Definitely,” Aria whispers. “Is it about…” she trails off, motioning into the house and hinting at Alison.

Emily nods again.

“Okay,” Aria thinks for a moment, “would you be willing to drive to Greenwich? It’s not as far as it seems, I swear.”

“Yeah. A drive would probably clear my thoughts, actually.”

“I’m free tomorrow, if you’d like.”

“That works. Alison will probably be gone for a while and I don’t want to stay home alone, honestly.”

“I understand. Stop by. I’ll send you my address later tonight,” she smiles.

“Thank you,” Emily mirrors the smile.

A few seconds later, they part ways and Emily closes the door once Aria is out of sight. She takes a deep breath and rolls her neck slightly, eventually pushing herself off of the barrier and walking into the kitchen. Alison makes her way into the room just as Emily pulls a bottle of water from the fridge and the blonde stares at the other girl as she stands there. Emily side-eyes Alison, not knowing why she’s being watched.

“Is everything okay?” she puts the water bottle down.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry,” Alison shakes her head. “I was just… I don’t know.”

Emily nods and pauses before asking another question, “Are  _ we  _ okay?”

Alison seems taken aback by the question and she purses her lips while the brunette looks away, seeming stunned by the words falling from her own lips. 

“That’s not up to me,” comes the honest reply.

Emily studies the other girl, just watching her body language and facial expressions. Alison tries to avoid Emily’s brown eyes as much as possible, not wanting to cry or get sucked into the healing gaze she’s obtained over the last few days ━ even if it’s better than the girl being broken. Finally, when Alison continues to focus her eyes anywhere  _ but  _ on Emily, the brunette cautiously walks over and wraps her arms around the girl. The blonde doesn’t exactly know what to do at first, especially because the embrace came out of nowhere, but she eventually relaxes and nuzzles her head into Emily’s chest. 

Emily kisses her head, letting her lips linger for a few moments. 

“We will be,” the brunette’s whispered statement holds a tint of conviction and, in response, Alison breathes out a small sigh of relief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I don't want to sound too confident, but these final chapters' endings are my favorites. I can't choose just one. It's likely because I enjoy the smallest gestures, but whatever. These two are adorable and they're both improving.
> 
> Let's discuss: I think that Emily trusting Alison again is a given, at this point. If the thing with Noel hadn't happened, it likely would've taken three times as long to get back into the swing of things simply because of the amount of anger. Due to the entire hostage situation, however, they both feel like… "Okay, there are more important things than arguing over something that happened years ago." So, maybe Emily forgives Alison too easily or maybe she doesn't, but I sure as hell wouldn't be able to hold myself together as well as Emily is right now ━ or Alison, for that matter.
> 
> How about that Hannily conversation at the beginning? Very different from past chapters, don't ya think? It's probably my favorite exchange between them, especially because of Hanna's line: "You'll make things work. I can see it written across your face that you still want to marry that girl because you haven't stopped looking at your ring since I got here and we both know she'd drive to a chapel tonight if you asked." ━ She's very honest during this conversation, and there's definitely a hidden reason for that which you'll read about in the future.
> 
> Speaking of Hanna… each girl said their piece within this chapter now that everything's calmed down. Whose venting part was your favorite? Mine's probably Hanna's because of how raw and realistic it is. I mean… yeah it's shitty for her to say that she feels better knowing that Alison's life isn't the most perfect but, personally, I think it's pretty damn realistic because, well, who really wants someone who severely bullied them to have a nice, fulfilling life? Forgiveness is real, sure, but I don't know. I think Hanna finally understands that they're all human and, obviously, they've all made mistakes.
> 
> I love next chapter because I love me some Emaria since they're severely underutilized in the show (and a lot of stories, sadly). They have a very solid conversation and we'll finally get to see what's going on inside Emily's head. On the other hand, next chapter's events might take a small turn which will push us forward. It's very important, actually, and imperative for the progress of Emily's relationship with Alison.
> 
> Next update: Saturday.
> 
> And, now, I shall leave you until Ch. 15 comes out. Have a nice week, study hard, work hard, live freely, and eat as much food as you can handle.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the weekend, everyone!
> 
> How've you been? I know I've been hard at work writing this new story. I already have… *counts* four chapters completed. It's actually moving along smoothly because I have most of the dialogue ready to go (because I'm pretty damn entertained by these exchanges, so I've written at least ten scattered pieces).
> 
> Did someone ask for some Emaria?
> 
> Leggo.

Echoing footsteps can be heard descending the staircase at a slow rate. Alison stands in the kitchen, drinking a glass of orange juice as the other girl appears on the last step while running a shaky hand through her fixed hair. When her blue eyes look up to see the other girl, the brunette is wearing an opened, plaid button-up, accompanied by some jeans and sneakers. Compared to the past several days, she looks extremely put-together ━ and like she hadn’t just gone through a severely traumatic experience roughly a week ago.

The blonde looks down at her own outfit; she decided to go for a nicer ensemble, hoping that she looks presentable enough for the station when she goes with Spencer to give an official statement ━ not that she  _ has  _ to look decent. Her hair is wavier than usual (while slightly pinned up), and she’s wearing a black and flower-patterned sundress. Really, she nearly rolled her eyes at herself once looking at her outfit in the mirror, feeling as though it’s too…  _ preppy  _ for the occasion.

“You look nice,” Emily bites her lower lip with a sheepish expression.

Immediately, she scurries past Alison and opens the fridge, ready to prepare her own glass of juice for the morning.

“It’s not too bright, considering everything?” Alison mumbles as she swirls the juice in her cup, feeling kind of awful about the entire thing. 

“Alison,” the brunette gently scolds with a sympathetic tone, “you don’t need to walk on eggshells. Wear what you want and act how you want. Just allow yourself to feel, okay?”

“How’s that working out for you?”

Depending on the context, the response could sound bitchy ━ and maybe it really does ━ but Emily understands what Alison means, so she sighs as she places her glass down onto the center island, leaning against the edge as she bows her head a fraction.

Emily bites her inner cheek, “I’m trying.”

Alison’s eyes drift to the floor.

“I  _ want  _ to let myself feel, but it’s not as easy as it seems,” her voice is barely audible. 

“I know, Em. I’m not pushing you,” she walks over to the brunette, standing only a foot away. “You have all the time in the world to figure things out.”

The other girl shakes her head, “That’s not how I look at it. From my standpoint, everyone and everything’s waiting on me to be better, but I’m not sure when that’ll happen.”

The blonde doesn’t say or do anything; she stares at Emily, speechless, as she blinks occasionally and places her hand atop of the other girl’s. She’s about to say something, finally, when her phone rings and Spencer’s name pops up.

“Hey, Spencer,” Alison rubs at her forehead once she picks up.

Emily watches the blonde out of the corner of her eye, wishing that they’d be completely okay but knowing that they can’t simply fix things. She feels stuck, in a way, because something constantly nags at her throughout every minute of the day, but she’s not sure what it is. Trust, maybe, but what if there’s something else? What if something is close to snapping, but Emily isn’t even aware of it? She still hears the giant pop and sees the white light, and common, daily activities have become excruciating because of the cramping in her hand, but she still remains unmoved by the fact that she killed a man. Overall, she has no idea what's really wrong inside of her, but it gnaws at her endlessly.

Her eyes bore into the countertop and, because of the lack of blinking, they begin to water slightly before she shakes her head and shuts them hard. 

“Em?” the blonde’s sweet voice is closer than before. “Did you hear me?”

“Sorry, no, I drifted.”

Alison nods, “I said I’m leaving to meet Spencer. Do you need anything before I go?” 

“No,” she shakes her head, “but are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? I can reschedule with Aria━”

“It’s okay, Em. I got it. This started with me and it’s going to end with me.”

“Ali, this isn’t  _ your  _ mess,” Emily furrows her eyebrows and stands up straight. “We’re both involved in this. If we’re being technical, all of us are, but what recently happened involves both you and I.”

Alison goes to say something, but it’s quickly lost and she hangs her head as she sighs.

“I know you’re trying to understand that this isn’t all on you, Alison. Thank you for that,” Emily grabs for the other girl’s hand. “So, I’ll ask again, do you want me to come with you?”

She shakes her head, “Involved or not, I don’t want you to have to relive everything that happened. I’ll be okay and, if I need you, I’ll call.”

“Okay,” Emily agrees with a stern head nod. 

They mirror each other’s smile before Alison walks over to the other side of the counter and grabs her small purse. Emily watches her closely, partially smiling and feeling something flutter in her chest while just noting the girl’s movements. The blonde searches through the small bag quickly, tilting her head back and forth as she wonders whether or not she has everything that she needs. She breathes out a small “Okay” and zips the bag. Suddenly, before either girl has a chance to react, Alison’s lips press a small peck to Emily’s mouth, and the blonde girl backs up wide-eyed when she realizes what she’s done. 

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out, “I didn’t…” her cheeks turn a bright red and she pushes past Emily, mumbling something to herself as she practically runs out of the house. 

The brunette remains standing there, head slightly turned in the direction of the door as a tiny smile graces her face, and she raises her fingertips to her lips as her thoughts begin to race. Before walking away from the kitchen island, her smile grows while her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. She shakes her head soon, however, and forces herself to carry on with whatever she has to do before leaving for Aria’s. 

 

X X X

 

The hour-long ride (well, a little over an hour) helps smoothe out Emily’s thoughts. It’s not that they’re exactly tangled, but Alison’s soft lips didn’t help sort out any confusion that she’s had for the past few days ━ if anything, the brunette just wants to melt against the other girl and forget everything else.

Throughout the lengthy ride to Aria’s house, she found herself sighing often, wishing to hear from the blonde. No texts or calls ever came, however, and it bummed her out a bit more than she’d admit. She also rolled her eyes at herself a lot because, well, she’s supposed to be working on  _ herself _ but, realistically, she just wants to get lost in Alison; she wants to be a solid couple again but, right now, she’s not even sure what they’re called.  _ “Are we even anything right now?” _ she could practically hear her thoughts pouting. Next, those thoughts began to grow vicious (out of nowhere, honestly), and they shot at her heart with phrases such as  _ “She’s going to get sick of waiting around”  _ and  _ “She’s probably out with someone, right now.” _ Emily shook her head again, tightening her grip on the steering wheel as she approached the  _ “Welcome to Greenwich”  _ sign. 

Her car’s tires currently crunch along Aria’s pebble driveway. It’s a lengthy entrance, Emily muses, and the girl’s driveway (alone) is probably half of a mile long. The house is beautiful, however, and completely worth the drive. It’s an old, two-story, white-brick building with tall shrubs, a curved, black roof, and a circular driveway in the front. Trees surround each side of the driveway and, from what Emily can see, more forest starts further away in the backyard.

The entire town is nice as well. While driving through, Emily noted the various buildings and small businesses. They look straight out of an old, colonial movie, and different sections of the town are dedicated to farmland or hold busy streets with pedestrians walking to and from their locations. The brunette could tell, right away, that the town is pretty wealthy, and she nodded to herself while continuing to drive until she reached the beginning of Aria’s driveway. 

She parks somewhere in front of the house and gets out, immediately getting hit with a few raindrops. The sky is grey and she takes a deep breath while hoping that she doesn’t get stuck at Aria’s place for the entire day ━ not to say she wouldn’t enjoy spending time with one of her old best friends, but it isn’t exactly ideal. So, before delaying for too long, Emily pushes forward and ascends the stone steps, ending up on a small landing in front of big, oak doors. She rings the doorbell next, feeling a sudden wave of anxiety smack her the lungs while waiting for someone to answer the door ━ and it doesn’t take long before someone does. 

“Emily,” Ezra looks taken off-guard, but he forces a smile in hopes that she didn’t see.

“Um, hi,” she mirrors the expression, “is Aria here? I texted her a little bit ago.”

He stares at Emily for a brief moment, narrowing his eyes slightly while the brunette just stands there awkwardly. Finally, Aria comes up from behind him and smiles (a  _ genuine  _ smile) at the visitor.

“I invited her, Ezra,” Aria looks at her husband. “It’s okay.”

Again, he stares at the taller brunette but, soon enough, he turns his focus to the shorter girl, looking at her as if he’s silently trying to read her. Emily continues to shift on her feet as she stands underneath a small porch roof, listening to the rain that begins to pick up by every passing second. 

“Ezra,” Aria tries again, “she’s not going to hurt me.” 

The man glances at Emily one last time before nodding and taking a deep breath. When he turns back to their guest, his smile is much softer yet timid and Emily tries to match it but falls flat. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I’ve just been with her this entire time and I can’t stand the thought of━”

“We’re fine,” the smaller brunette interrupts.

“I understand,” Emily nods gently. “I’m not forcing Aria into anything and I respect that you want the best for her. I’m not asking you to accept me. I just need some advice.”

Ezra looks around the front yard and eventually backs up, motioning for her to come inside. When she passes the two homeowners, Aria lingers near the doorway and glares at him with a look that says “we’ll talk later.” Meanwhile, Emily takes in the giant house. Her lips are parted as she looks at the various, abstract decor, and she smiles when realizing how “Aria” everything is. The smaller brunette huffs as Ezra walks back into the adjacent study and she soon approaches Emily who continues to look around.

“Too bold?” Aria breathes out a small laugh.

“No, I was just thinking,” Emily stops to look at the other girl, smiling again, “it’s totally you.”

“That’s because it  _ is  _ mostly me. Ezra didn’t feel like helping decorate once we bought the house, so I worked privately with a designer and this is what we came up with.”

“I like it,” she nods. “It’s colorful, yet pretty familiar.”

Aria grins at the description, “Thank you.”

Emily stands there in silence while Aria passes her on the way to the kitchen. She motions for her guest to follow and Emily complies without hesitation, following the girl into the large, high-ceiling kitchen adorned with grey, marble countertops and white cabinets. It’s completely airy in contrast to the room from which they just walked out of and the space smells like fresh vegetables and spices.

“Do you want anything?” Aria asks as she moves over to the fridge, side-eying the girl who stares through the backdoors so she can see the huge backyard. 

“No thanks,” comes Emily’s absentminded reply and the other girl chuckles.

When she’s done looking at the backyard, she finally takes a seat at the extended, bar-like countertop area while Aria pours herself some iced tea. Emily bites her inner cheek as her thoughts take over, creating a huge wave of silence for at least two minutes. When the shorter brunette finally notices Emily’s empty expression, she eyes her curiously and cautiously. 

“Are you okay?” comes the soft question and her guest shoots her a look. 

Aria raises her hands in surrender, “I know, I know, but you just looked… lost.”

Emily sighs, “Yeah, that’s been happening a lot lately.”

“So you’re  _ not  _ okay?” Aria squints playfully.

“I don’t know. I really don’t,” she purses her lips. “I want to be, but I’m not sure why I can’t just…  _ be _ .”

“Healing doesn’t happen overnight.”

Emily raises her eyebrows in obvious agreement, staring ahead at the countertop. 

“What’s going on, Em? And try  _ not  _ saying that you don’t know. Think for a minute, then say whatever comes to mind. I don’t care how jumbled up your thoughts are.”

The damaged girl smiles a fraction, muttering a small “Okay” as she rubs her temple. It takes a minute of opening and closing her mouth, but she finally gathers up some thoughts and courage.

“I feel like… there’s this blank spot in my mind. Almost like I’m missing an entire time period within my life, but I don’t think it exists at all. I feel like my brain split into two halves after everything happened and I don’t know why. I don’t feel guilty for killing Noel, but I feel guilty for… holding Ali back because of everything, I guess.”

“Holding her back?” 

“What if she’d be better off without me? I know she says the same thing and I get so damn pissed when she talks like that, but what if  _ she’d  _ be better off if we weren’t an ‘us’? We’ve been together for so long and, yeah, I know she loves me and,  _ God _ , I love her so much, but she shouldn’t have to wait for me to feel better after this happened.  _ Especially  _ since I don’t know why I’m not feeling okay.”

“Em, even if the thing with Noel didn’t happen, you’d still need to heal, remember? You originally walked out of the house because you needed to think things through.”

“But that’s my point, Aria,” Emily’s voice cracks slightly. “We were together for  _ years _ and I allowed this roadblock to ruin everything. I know she shouldn’t have lied and, trust me, I’m not paving over that, but what if I’m holding this against her way too much? She’s changed more than I can explain, but…” she trails off with a shake of her head. 

“I know she’s changed,” Aria nods with a whisper. 

“On the other hand, I get sick at the thought of anyone else touching her,” her lower lip quivers, but she looks at the ceiling to stop herself from crying. “I don’t want her to be with anyone else, but I feel like I’m pushing her there and I don’t know why because she still looks at me like I’m everything. It’s like there’s some blank space between us and  _ I  _ created it.”

The other girl looks down when she can’t find anything to say. 

“Do you think I’m making a mistake by delaying everything?” Emily looks at the girl standing across from where she’s seated. “Do you believe that I’m going to ruin things if I continue to put off this wedding?”

“You have to make your own decisions, Emily. Whatever you feel is best━”

“Aria, please. I want to know what you think about everything that’s happened. I’m asking for your honest opinion because I’m just too tired to form my own.”

The other girl takes a deep breath, “I think… we’ve all made mistakes. I think that, even though Alison lied, it was  _ years _ ago, Em, and you know it was out of protection. Heck, even  _ I  _ know that, and Spencer, and Hanna. It was a shitty plan, but you two were young and A was still around at the time. Alison knew that and she felt like she couldn’t afford to lose you after she had finally gotten you back.”

“So, you think I’m stupid for putting off the wedding?”

“No,” Aria corrects with a soft tone, “I don’t think you’re stupid for anything. I think that, if you  _ really  _ want you two to work out, you’ll stop doubting everything and you’ll chase her as if you’re trying to win her heart. Things won’t always be this complicated and I really do believe that you two love each other more than anyone I’ve met. I can tell.”’

Emily looks down at her ring-less hand, internally feeling annoyed by herself. 

“She’ll wait for you, Emily. Don’t doubt that.”

“I don’t want her to have to wait.”

“Then you better get thinking,” Aria jokes a bit and Emily lets out a small laugh. 

Soon, the taller brunette nods in understanding as she swallows hard. Aria eyes her skeptically, but she doesn’t say anything else.

For the rest of Emily’s visit, they take a bigger tour of the house, filled with comments such as “Holy crap, Aria” and “This bathroom is worth more than my car…  _ and  _ Alison’s.” After, they sit down in the living room and talk further in-depth whilst catching up on things that happened within the last few years. Aria asks about the other girl’s mother and offers her support when it comes to her dad, followed by Emily wondering about Mike and the rest of the Montgomery family. When hearing about how solid their family is nowadays, Emily smiles and feels like a weight is lifted off her shoulders which makes her overall thoughts feel lighter than they have in days.

She calmly breathes out as they sit on a large, soft couch; roughly, she’s nervous yet anxious to get home and see Alison. 

 

X X X

 

Emily stares through one of the kitchen windows whilst waiting for Alison to get home. The blonde has been out with Spencer for the majority of the day, extending from the time she left up until, well, now: 8:30 P.M. 

About fifteen minutes ago, Alison had messaged Emily with an  _ “On my way home” _ text, just notifying the other girl since it’s pretty damn rainy outside ━ not to mention completely stormy. Thankfully, Emily came home before the impending storm gathered above their small farmhouse and quickly sent Alison a worried  _ “Where are you?”  _ message about an hour ago. It’s not that she wants to be overbearing and worrisome but, at the same time, she can’t help it and, honestly, she wants to discuss some things with Alison. That being said, her slight determination isn’t exactly covering up her nervousness when thinking about the possible conservation outcomes, and her heart rate keeps quickening with every passing minute. To keep herself from turning into a nervous wreck, she gives into her thoughts every now and then, remembering one of her conversations with Aria.

_ “So, your family took things well? When you met up with them again, I mean,” Emily pries as she studies Aria who sits on a nearby cushion. _

_ “Um,” the other brunette makes a thinking noise as she looks around, “yeah, considering everything.” _

_ After looking at the floor briefly, she begins to explain, “Mike was the hardest to patch things up with. He didn’t want to forgive me. Before I left,” she shakes her head, “I don’t know. He started distancing himself from our family in total, mostly because of Mom and Dad’s differences. I mean… I was able to talk to him about things, but not everything.” _

_ Emily watches the other girl’s body language: she shows slight regret but, for the most part, she looks like she’s remembering everything. _

_ “Once we thought Spencer was on the A-Team, Ezra got me that hotel room and I spilled to Mike where I was going. I needed someone else to know, just in case something really did happen. I made him promise not to say anything to Mom and Dad, and he didn’t ask questions. Once that night happened with Spencer,” her eyes slam shut, “I left. I couldn’t even tell Mike.” _

_ “Are you two okay now?” _

_ “Mhm,” Aria forces a smile and hums in a thankful tone, “it took a little bit but, when my parents got remarried, we had a few, nice brother and sister moments. I liked it.” _

_ The other brunette smiles during the short period of silence. _

_ “I’m so glad I had Ezra through everything,” she shakes her head suddenly. “If I hadn’t…” her voice trails off before she starts a new sentence, “We always stuck together. He was always there and I knew it, even if we weren’t romantically together the entire time.” _

_ “You weren’t?” Emily frowns. _

_ Aria shakes her head, “No. There was a time when I just… lashed out. At everyone. I acted out and, honestly, I went through a big identity crisis,” she licks her lips, afterwards starting another new sentence, “But he was still there. The entire time. Eventually, I gave up on being that immature teenager and I grew up. After that, I knew he’d be by my side at any and every given moment.” _

_ She smiles for a second, nodding to herself and whispering, “I’m so grateful, and not in an ‘I’m obviously happy since I married him’ type of way,” a small laugh falls from her lips. _

_ Emily locks eyes with a suddenly-knowing Aria, smiling softly when she feels warmth flooding to her cheeks. The taller brunette swallows hard and looks at her hands folded in her lap, trying to take a deep breath when finally realizing that she needs to talk to Alison.  _

As Emily breaks out of her memories, she looks back through the window but, when a knock sounds at the door, she jumps. Shaking her head quickly, Emily takes a deep breath and runs over to the front door, opening it to reveal Alison who’s moderately damp from the heavy rain. 

“Did you forget your key?” the brunette tilts her head and allows Alison to pass through.

“No,” she huffs, “but my bag’s zipper has been a little bitch all night so I decided against attempting to go through it while outside.” 

Emily hums in response, nodding her head as she follows Alison into the kitchen. She hears a rumble of thunder in the distance, sounding like the storm is finally starting to approach their town, and she walks past Alison in order to stand in front of the fridge. The blonde grunts while peeling her bag open and she begins to remove her items as the other girl reaches into the fridge to grab a bottle of water. 

Alison huffs, “I’m going to change. Do you need anything while I’m up there?”

The other girl shakes her head.

Once Alison disappears, Emily’s thoughts begin to rattle through her mind again. It’s not like the blonde has said anything to  _ cause  _ these intruding theories and/or assumptions, but Emily can’t help it. What if Alison really does get tired of waiting around? What if she’s already moved on and they’re simply roommates? Emily’s stomach flips when the last thought smacks her dead in the face and she feels like she’s going to throw up as she hunches over the sink. She forces herself to take five deep breaths and her eyes slam shut which is when Alison bounds down the stairs, body covered with a t-shirt and pajama pants ━ a basic outfit she’s been wearing to bed every night since━

“Are you okay?” Alison’s worried voice snaps Emily out of her thoughts.

“Hm?” comes the short, questioning hum. “Yeah, I’m fine. Tired.”

Alison doesn’t believe the brunette’s words and it’s written across her face, but she doesn’t question Emily because, well, she isn’t planning on  _ forcing  _ the girl into discussing whatever’s on her mind. 

“So, how’d things go at the police station?” the brunette leans against the counter behind her while Alison walks back over to her broken purse.

Alison sighs while rummaging through her stuff, “It went… smoothly. We’re not being charged with anything, but they’re trying to blame everything on his emotional state and I just don’t think that’s the case. Not all of it, at least.”

The other girl looks away and raises her eyebrows in slight agreement with Alison; sure, he was acting insane during that particular moment but, otherwise, Noel was cunning ever since he was born. 

“How was your day with Aria?” Alison turns around to face Emily, a whole kitchen island (and then some) separating them. 

“Well, for one thing, her house is huge,” Emily’s eyes widen. “Ezra wasn’t the happiest to see me, but I guess everything went alright.”

“Did you two discuss anything specific?” 

The brunette goes to speak but nothing comes out and Alison shakes her head with a soft “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business,” which honestly hurts Emily who goes to offer a quick “No, no, no,” but the other girl is already turning back around. So, in the end, Emily just sighs and rubs at her head repeatedly. 

She sniffles and raises her head again, “What’d you do after you left the police station? You were gone for a while.”

“Oh,” Alison resumes her former position with a cheery tint to her voice, “I almost forgot… Spencer and I went celebrating because she quit medical school.”

_ “How’s school?” Alison asks cautiously, afterwards sipping her drink. _

_ “I quit,” Spencer smiles big, almost in a smug way that makes the blonde feel proud. _

_ Alison raises her eyebrows with an ever-growing smile, “You… quit?”  _

_ “Yup,” again, she smirks at the entire situation, “after everything that happened recently…” she pauses, trailing off before she begins a new sentence, “Life’s too short. Honestly, that’s all there is to it. That’s what helped me decide. I’m done.” _

_ “But what about your parents? Won’t they throw you under the bus, money-wise?” _

_ “Well, that’s the thing,” Spencer’s smug expression grows even more, looking away for a few seconds as she shifts in her seat. “When we made the agreement, I was at least smart enough to have them sign a few things. I knew that, someday, they’d try to weasel their way in or out of something having to do with my schooling. So, before I agreed through a massive amount of tears and exhaustion, I had them sign and date a few documents. I don’t owe them a thing and they willingly paid for my education.” _

_ Alison nods in an impressed manner, afterwards squinting her eyes, “Okay, but didn’t they work with legal issues before this entire… campaign thing? Couldn’t they find a way to weasel out of this, anyway?” _

_ “Maybe. Well… probably,” Spencer’s eyes widen before she purses her lips, “but, right now, I don’t care. If they want to go out of their way to screw up my life more than they had before, let them. I have plenty of people who care for me and that’s all I need.” _

_ Alison smiles heavily and Spencer returns the expression, afterwards sipping her drink again. _

“Really?” Emily smiles in shock.

“Mhm. She basically gave a big ‘Fuck you’ to her parents and dropped out. I was pretty impressed when she told me.”

“So, where’d you go?”

“We went out to eat at some nearby bar,” Alison explains while squinting her eyes in thought. “It was fun, I suppose. Good food. Not as good as  _ your  _ pub’s food,” she smiles before continuing with an absentminded tone, “Some guy bought us drinks,” and she shrugs. “He tried to buy us more, actually.”

At that, Emily can physically feel her heart sink and her smile falls completely as she looks to the floor. Alison, on the other hand, doesn’t realize the change in atmosphere, so she continues.

“I don’t know,” the blonde shakes her head. “He was nice, but I kept feeling like he was trying too hard to get with━”

Towards the end of Alison’s story, Emily’s partial hurt blooms into actual jealousy. Right as she goes to turn around with a stiff expression, a loud crack of thunder shakes the entire house and the brunette’s eyes widen as she sinks to the floor. Suddenly, she can’t hear a thing and her eyes are permanently open as she cups her ears and tucks her knees to her chest, and the next thing she’s aware of is Alison frantically grabbing onto her hand. Mistakenly, however, Emily’s hands begin to cramp up and she tears them both away while staring at the floor as tears stream down her cheeks. The other girl sits close and pulls Emily into a gentle yet warm embrace, and the brunette begins to cry into her neck ━  _ hard _ . Currently, she feels like she’s back in that same, abandoned cafe. She smells the dust and old furniture, and feels the cheap tiles underneath her feet.

“Hey, I’m right here,” Alison feels like her throat is closing up as she watches the other girl have some internal battle, “I promise.”

Emily shakes her head and chokes out a sob, causing Alison to back up a fraction with a hurt expression.

“Of course I am, Em,” she breathes out. “I always have been.”

Again, the brunette shakes her head and takes as many deep breaths as she needs. Alison watches her every move and swallows hard when she tries to find some sort of comforting gesture or declaration. 

“Ali,” Emily’s voice immediately breaks Alison out of her deliberations.

“Yeah? I’m right here,” she repeats, wiping the other girl’s tears. 

Another rumble of thunder hits the house and Emily’s eyes slam shut at the sound but, this time, she grabs onto Alison’s hand. 

“I don’t want you to leave me,” the brunette confesses suddenly and the other girl tilts her head in confusion.

She continues, “I don’t want you to leave me for someone else. I can’t stand the thought…” her voice trails off and her lower lip quivers. 

Alison furrows her eyebrows in slight frustration and sadness, “Where is this coming from, Emily? I’d never leave you.”

“You deserve better.”

“Don’t do that, Em.” 

“Alison━”

“No,” her eyes widen as she raises her voice. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you down-talk yourself for God only knows what reason!” 

Emily lets go of her hand and looks away, furiously wiping her cheeks as Alison purses her lips in mounting frustration. Thick silence fills the air and only small rumbles of thunder sound nearby accompanied by quick flashes of lightning filtering through the dimly lit kitchen. Meanwhile, both girls sit on the tiled floor, feeling the cold surface beneath their bodies as they figure out what to say.

“Look at me, Em,” Alison’s voice is shaky and she mentally scolds herself for sounding much less confident than intended. 

The other girl is reluctant at first but eventually complies, only partly glancing at the blonde’s blue eyes that swirl with something unknown. When she doesn’t look at Alison more than just a fraction, the blonde sighs.

“Please,” comes the whisper.

Emily sucks in another sharp breath and fully faces the other girl with drifting eyes when they begin to sting from crying. Truly, her ribs hurt and her hand continues to feel numb, but she’s trying to focus anywhere other than on the subtle pain. 

Alison reaches for her hand again, only taking it gently just in case the other girl feels the need to snatch it away like before. The blonde looks down and uses her fingers to trace Emily's palm, hoping to calm her ━ almost as if she knows what's happening with the brunette’s grip. It takes Emily by surprise, admittedly, but she revels in the gesture while trying to steady her breathing. 

“I’m  _ yours _ ,” Alison exaggerates the word whilst looking into Emily’s eyes. 

She licks her lips and continues, “I don’t want to be anyone else’s, okay?”

Emily looks away again.

“No, look at me.”

This time, she immediately faces Alison with watering eyes, and that’s when the blonde girl moves her hand and slides the engagement ring off her finger. She holds it between two of her fingers and raises it in front of Emily’s face and her own, slightly eyeing the piece of jewelry.

“Do you know why I still wear this, Em? Even after what happened. Do you?”

No answer.

“I wear it because I’m taken. My  _ heart  _ is taken,” she states with more confidence than before. “And I’m genuinely happy that I’m one-hundred percent yours. I’ve never been anyone else’s and I never will be, even if you walk through the front door within the next five minutes. Even after that, I’d still wear this ring.”

Emily maintains eye contact until the other girl finishes speaking, and then her eyes drift downwards in slight embarrassment yet comfort; she feels at ease that Alison still feels so strongly after all these years but, really, she feels sick for guessing that the other girl has moved on so quickly ━ or  _ is  _ moving on. 

“You don’t need to tell me that you’re mine forever, Emily,” Alison confesses even though her heart feels like it’s breaking just at the thought of the brunette leaving, “but I need you to understand that I’m yours forever. Please.”

It takes another moment of understanding, but Emily nods her head just enough so the other girl can see the gesture. Once Alison sees Emily trying to let everything sink in, she breathes out and gets off of the floor, quickly offering her hand to the brunette who looks up with timid eyes. Finally, she complies, and Alison keeps a gentle grip on the girl’s hand as they move into the dark living room. When they make it over to one of the living room couches, Alison sits first, afterwards tugging on Emily’s arm so she gets positioned on the next cushion. The brunette follows the girl’s lead and sits down (albeit her body language is extremely awkward), all while Alison watches her with sympathetic eyes. Next, once Emily continues to side-eye Alison, the blonde lies back across the cushions and pulls the other girl down with her. At first, Emily’s body stiffens, but soon relaxes once she allows herself to cuddle up to Alison who draws circles on her back.

“I’m so sorry, Ali,” comes the broken whisper, followed by multiple tears falling onto the blonde’s shirt. 

“Shh,” she shushes the other girl while planting a soft kiss on the top of her head, “we’ll be okay,” comes the recitation of Emily’s declaration from the previous day. 

A few more tears fall from Emily’s brown eyes, but she slams them shut as she cuddles further into Alison’s side. The blonde breathes out a tiny sigh of relief when she feels the other girl relaxing into the embrace and her own eyes begin to shut when exhaustion starts to consume her.

Within minutes, Emily is fast asleep and softly snoring through her stuffed nose, as well as Alison whose chest rises and falls as she sleeps soundly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll be okay.
> 
> The entire ending part of this chapter is one of my favorites. Mainly, I enjoy Alison's emotions whilst dealing with Emily's breakdown. It's moments like these that I wanted to use to reinforce the idea that both of them took their relationship for granted towards the beginning of the story. Here, they're having a solid, heart-felt conversation about what they are without kissing or getting fully distracted by physical gestures. I mean… the only real gesture is Alison tracing her palm, and that's also important because it's so tiny yet means so much to Emily.
> 
> Next, the Aria/Emily conversation is another one of my favorite pieces within this entire story. I love how deeply Emily is able to confide in Aria out of everyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm big on Hannily, but I wanted to try something different and I'm far beyond happy with how the conversation played out between them. When I look at Aria (here and on-screen), I see a hopeless romantic ━ not only for relationships, but when it comes to life, in general, as well. She wants to see the good and beauty in everything, even when it's not, well… good and/or beautiful. That's why, for this particular "I need advice" type of scene, I decided that Aria was the better fit.
> 
> Alright, I am happy to say that we've braved the twists and turns of this story, as well as the tiny bumps (as seen in this chapter). For Emison, they're finally nearing the end of this very dark tunnel. (Slight spoiler: Next chapter, overall, is one of my favorites.) For one other character in this story, there's one last bump.
> 
> Nevertheless, you people made it through the ideas that fell from my dark mind, so congratulations. I think ya'll deserve some nice fluff, which is what you're very likely to get… very soon.
> 
> Next update: Thursday.
> 
> As always, thanks for coming, reading, loving, hating, reviewing, etc. It means the world to me. Always. ("After all this time?") So, keep doing just that and I'll see you soon. In the meantime, I'll be writing this new story for ya'll. Have a nice rest of the weekend and week ahead.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, reader.
> 
> This is the final update before I start school again on Monday. Wish me luck, please, and good luck to everyone else who's starting soon/has recently started. Also, don't think school's going to affect my posting schedule because I'm usually pretty good at making time.
> 
> So, I've decided to give you a "new story hint" within a few author's note until we reach the end of this story. So, once you're finished reading today's lovely update (A.K.A. my favorite chapter), head on down to the bottom author's note to find the #hint. But, for those of you who don't want any hints (don't worry, though; they're not spoilers), I've already written seven chapters. Not too shabby considering I only had four done last weekend, right?
> 
> *throws flower petals* Have fun.

Emily nuzzles further into Alison’s side as they lie together in bed. They’ve been like this for most of the day (Sunday, to be exact) and the butterflies in the brunette’s stomach have repeatedly appeared at the most random times. Occasionally, her brown eyes will float over to the other girl’s lips as she silently reads a part of Aria’s book and a fuzzy feeling will stir in Emily’s stomach as she shifts along the mattress to get even further pressed against Alison. Other times, the blonde’s laugh will plaster a small smile onto her face and then she’ll quickly shake her head before resuming her own reading as they scan the same novel.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to read out loud? Really, I wasn’t doing  _ that  _ bad,” Alison side-eyes the girl who lets out a quiet laugh. 

“Tell that to the multiple paragraphs you skipped.”

“Em, you’re a slow reader and I have to keep waiting an extra five minutes for you to finish the page.” 

“I’m not a slow reader!” she laughs harder. “Like I said… you just skip things so you  _ think  _ you’re faster than I am.”

“That is  _ not  _ true,” the other girl laughs as well, placing the book page-down on her stomach as she tries her hardest to look at Emily while she’s at an angle. 

“Really?” comes the challenging tone. “How did last chapter end?” the brunette tests.

“The characters made up!” 

“ _ How _ ?”

“A kiss.” 

“What’d the girl say after they kissed?”

Silence.

The brunette smirks while she hums, “Mhm.”

“I didn’t think it was important!” Alison continues to stare at Emily, wide-eyed. 

In response, the other girl flops onto her back with a grunt and she rubs her eyes as Alison watches her carefully. When Emily continues to massage her face, her shirt lifts up a fraction and the newly exposed skin catches Alison’s attention, but the blonde mentally scolds herself and forces her gaze away. 

They’ve been improving ━ though it’s only been a select amount of hours since they’d woken up together ━ and it’s nice, but Alison still doesn’t want to cross any invisible barriers too soon ━ or  _ ever _ , if you’d ask her. She’s noticed, however, that she’s not the only one having a hard time keeping a safe amount of distance between their bodies; a few times during last night and this morning, Emily had clung to the other girl tightly, leaving no wiggle room. Alison isn’t complaining, obviously, but she’s having a difficult time understanding how Emily would like this to work out. Are they still together?  _ Will  _ they be together? Do they still have things to talk about regarding everything that’s━ 

Her thoughts are derailed when the brunette’s body presses against her own once again, the girl’s leg hooking in between her thighs as they cuddle. Alison rests there, motionless with lips parted as she debates whether or not she should  _ try  _ and get as comfortable as possible without getting too… handsy. 

“Em,” she settles on saying, “we should really eat something. I don’t even remember having breakfast and it’s already six-thirty.” 

“But I’m comfy,” the other girl slightly whines. 

“I’m glad, but really.”

Emily huffs and rolls onto her back again. Alison turns and partially leans over the girl with a small pout.

“We can come back up here after. I just want to make sure you stay fed and hydrated.”

“I’m not a dog,” Emily raises an eyebrow. 

“People need food and water too, Emily. Don’t give me that look.”

Her brown eyes flicker to the girl’s lips, then meet her gaze again, and Alison barely breathes the entire time. It’s been pretty evident that Emily is having a difficult time keeping her eyes off Alison’s lips but, once again, the blonde doesn’t say anything because, like usual, she doesn’t want to mess anything up; she told Emily that she’ll give her time and she intends on sticking to her word.

Emily rolls out of bed with an exaggerated sigh and Alison laughs from where she sits up on the mattress. 

“Why so grumpy?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I don’t mean to be.”

“That was a joke, Em,” Alison rolls her eyes (more so at herself) and pushes her body off of the bed. 

She follows the brunette who slowly descends the staircase and she wonders when the awkwardness will finally disappear entirely. Sure, it’s much less awkward than when Emily first came back home, but the feeling is still there ━ and it’s super prominent.

“Do you have work tomorrow?” Emily wonders as she rummages through the cabinets. 

Alison, now sitting at the kitchen table, nods, “Unfortunately. It won’t be a long class, though, so I should be home around eight-ish.”

“Okay,” Emily mimics the nod.

“Do  _ you  _ have work tomorrow?”

“Mhm,” the brunette gets situated in a chair adjacent to Alison as she munches on a few crackers, “I actually have to go  _ into  _ work tomorrow.” 

“Why?” she furrows her eyebrows; it’s not often that the other girl has to physically go to the pub, but when she does, it’s usually important. 

“We’ve been working on hiring a couple of new servers, so I need to make sure they’re being instructed properly. Plus, I’ve been slacking on a few things, so I need to find a few of our old files.”

“So… I won’t be seeing you tomorrow?” Alison frowns.

“Maybe in the morning,” she shrugs, “but, otherwise, not until you get home at night.”

The blonde nods sadly and looks down, playing with her hands. Emily notes the change in attitude and bites her bottom lip as she stares at Alison. 

“What’s wrong, Ali?”

“I just…” she trails off, first evading the other girl’s concerned look but locking eyes with her eventually, “I don’t know. I guess I’ve been enjoying your company so much, no matter the circumstances.”

A tiny smile tugs at the corner of Emily’s lips and she reaches across the corner of the table in order to grab Alison’s hand. When she does, the blonde grins even though her demeanor still seems pretty let down, but it changes once Emily responds.

“Me too,” the brunette’s smile grows. 

Again, although Emily tries her hardest to stay focused, her eyes drift to Alison’s lips and she looks away as fast as she can without being caught but, unfortunately, she is, and the blonde blushes when the girl purses her lips while so-forcefully peering through the window.

Suddenly, the brunette feels the need to clean herself up (and she hasn’t really cared up until this very moment), so she pushes her chair away from the kitchen table as Alison stares at her with curious eyes. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To shower,” comes the simple response. 

“Your shoulder has been okay, right?” Alison gets up and walks over to where Emily stands on the bottom step.

“Uh, yeah,” Emily forces a smile. “Just sore, but otherwise it’s fine.”

“Do you need me to…” her voice trails off and she doesn’t exactly know what she was about to ask but mentally kicks herself for opening her mouth. 

Emily narrows her eyes in curiosity but, once she turns around and continues to run up the stairs, a blush covers her features and she wonders when and  _ why  _ she’s turned into such a smitten teenager again. Alison, on the other hand, lingers in the same spot, rubbing at her forehead as she mumbles, “Dumbass,” at her rambling self. 

Within seconds, her phone buzzes on the kitchen table and her eyes slam shut at the familiar text tone. It brings back memories, to say the least, or should she call them real-life nightmares? Either way, Alison hates it, but she walks over to the device while squinting her eyes at the contact name. She breathes out a sigh of relief when seeing that it’s only Hanna, but then she grows confused since the other blonde has barely (if ever) texted her before this moment.

**H** ━ “How is everything?”

**A** ━ “Fine…”

She knows that the punctuation can be taken as a “bitchy” response aspect, but she’s pretty damn confused and, well, doesn’t exactly know what else to say. 

**H** ━ “Why the dots…?”

Alison rolls her eyes as she walks over to the center island and leans her back against it. She hears the shower turn on but continues to message with Hanna. 

**A** ━ “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, sorry.”

**A** ━ “You’ve just never really texted me before, so I was confused.”

**H** ━ “I know. It feels pretty weird but I wanted to know how things are.”

**A** ━ “Good, I guess. Em’s holding up so that’s all I could ask for.”

**H** ━ “I’m sure it helps that you’re there.”

Alison’s eyes narrow again but she smiles a fraction; truthfully, she really does think that Hanna is starting to accept things (including the past), but it’s likely that there will always be a hint of doubt. Either way, Alison is happy with how things are going between those involved in their friend group, no matter how they got to this point. 

**H** ━ “Let me know if you need anything.”

**A** ━ “I will. Thanks again, really.”

Before she can place her phone back down onto the table, it begins to ring with Mrs. Fields’ number popping up and she answers immediately.

“Hello?”

_ “Hi there, Alison,” _ the woman’s voice comes through.  _ “I figured I’d call your cell just in case you’re out somewhere.”  _

“Is something wrong?” her forehead creases. “Em’s in the shower right now, but I can get her if you need to talk to her.”

_ “No, no,”  _ Pam’s voice is cheery and Alison breathes out,  _ “I just called to check in, actually. I’m sorry it’s pretty late in the day, but… how are you two dealing with everything?” _

“We’re… dealing.”

_ “Is Emily okay? She’s always been a fighter, but she’s not made of stone, no matter how much she wishes she was.” _

Alison lets out a small laugh, “Yeah, she’s definitely a fighter,” and smiles to herself. 

_ “So, you two are okay?” _

“We’re getting there. Things have been complicated.” 

Immediately, as soon as the words leave her mouth, she scolds herself for even using the word━

_ “Complicated? How so?”  _ the woman sounds slightly panicked now.

“Nothing in particular,” she generalizes, “but everything is… in slow motion, I guess. One day we’re here and the next day we’re feeling… I don’t know. It’s been tough.”

Mrs. Fields hums,  _ “I get it. Things will get better, Alison. You and Emily… you’re tougher than what you’re facing right now. Together, you two…” _ she trails off,  _ “sorry, I don’t mean to get all sentimental right now, but you know that you two will make it through anything.” _

“I know,” Alison says, but how long until they “make it through”?

_ “I’ll let you go. I’m really glad that you seem to be holding up, dear. Call me if you need me and tell Emily to call me soon.”  _

“Definitely,” the blonde smiles, though the woman on the other line can’t see it.

_ “Have a nice night.”  _

“You too.”

She puts the phone onto the kitchen island behind her. Next, she rubs her eyes and groans at the stinging sensation, allowing her hands to linger over her sight for a bit longer.

“Who was that?” 

Alison jumps and breathes heavily, placing her palms flat on the island’s surface as she chokes out a “Jesus, Emily, don’t sneak up on me like that.” The brunette, in response, chuckles and rounds the other side of the kitchen island, facing Alison who continues to catch her breath. 

“It was your mom,” the blonde finally gets out. “She was just checking in.”

Emily nods, “Did she ask questions?”

“Of course she asked questions, Em. We’re talking about your mother.”

The other girl laughs.

“She wants you to call her soon.”

The brunette nods again, “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

Silence fills the air as they stare at one another. Alison notes Emily’s clean outfit and how her hair is falling against her shoulders as opposed to how it’s been put up for the past few days. The girl’s tanned skin looks smooth and clear while pajama shorts and a t-shirt cover her body. Additionally, Alison can smell the girl’s body spray and she has to refrain from making it known that she’s completely stunned by the girl’s clean turn-around. 

“What are you staring at?” Emily asks, but she’s already fully aware so her tone is pretty damn smug ━ and Alison wants to roll her eyes.

“You,” Alison decides on saying just so she can turn the tables ━ and it works, judging by the way Emily’s lips part as she breathes out a shaky laugh while looking away.

Seconds later and their eyes are locking again, like some silent yet understood conversation bouncing off each other’s expressions and neither girl looks away for an extended period of time ━ until Emily clears her throat and forces a nervous smile.

“I’m going out to sit on the front porch,” she explains as she takes a few steps towards the door.

When Alison doesn’t move, Emily stops and tilts her head with furrowed eyebrows.

“You don’t want to come?” 

“What? No, that’s not it,” Alison shakes her head quickly. “I just didn’t know…”

The brunette nods her head in understanding, “Yes, Ali, I’d love it if you’d join me.”

Alison just bites her inner cheek and looks around the room once Emily flicks the porch light on and exits through the front door; again, where did all this awkwardness come from and when is it going to leave? Eventually, the blonde girl follows and steps onto their wooden, white front porch to see Emily already sitting on the left side of the small staircase, legs stretched along the descending steps. Alison smiles shyly and waits a minute before moving closer; really, she knows how much this spot relaxes the other girl, especially because this just so happens to be one of her favorite “thinking spots.” Soon enough, Alison sits next to Emily, mimicking her position while her legs stretch out and her hands get tucked between her knees. 

They sit there, absolutely silent as a few frogs croak from somewhere nearby. Their street is practically abandoned, so no cars drive by, but they can hear the faint sound of traffic down some conjoining street. The weather is grey (not that they can see much after sunset) and, according to the weather station’s radar, they should be getting hit with more heavy rain at any moment which is likely why everything seems ten times more quiet than on a normal day. When Alison breathes in, she smells freshly mown grass and green leaves, as well as the soft scent before a rainstorm hits, and it makes her feel lighter than she’s felt in the past however-many days. 

Emily sighs in content and Alison smiles at the noise, but she looks down at her knees as she remains silent, trying her hardest not to disturb the brunette’s world. 

“You know,” Emily surprisingly breaks the silence first, “I  _ really  _ hated walking away from you that night. I always hate it, but… that night…” her voice trails off. 

“Well… good,” Alison is only semi-joking and Emily breathes out a small laugh.

“I guess.”

“Do you wish it was easier?” she’s curious even though she’s terrified of the answer because, really, it sounds like Emily feels as though she’s being  _ forced  _ back into this relationship. 

The brunette’s silence is met with Alison’s head bowing as she purses her lips and looks at her hands that now lie flat against her thighs while she stretches out further along the porch steps.

“I mean…” Emily starts, but she sighs straight away, pausing for a moment.

She continues, “I  _ did _ . That night… I kept thinking that you mean more to me than I do to you━”

“Em━”

“No, Ali, let me get this out,” her brown eyes contain no tears and Alison wonders if that’s a good thing or not.

To comply, she falls silent.

“I kept wondering if this entire relationship was part of some elaborate dream. I was  _ so  _ conflicted and I just wanted to come home, but I honestly didn’t know if you really cared,” Emily confesses. 

Again, she breathes out but continues, “I think, deep down, I knew you wished I’d come back, but at the same time… I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if I was crying while you were drinking and getting over it, or if you were pissed and ready to get back out there without me by your side. I just didn’t know anything.”

Alison feels her heart cracking but her expression doesn’t exactly show it; she sits while remaining completely quiet as she allows Emily’s words to sink in as much as possible. Truly, the blonde doesn’t really know what to say. She and Emily have both thrown back endless _ I love you _ ’s and  _ forever _ ’s, but it seems like that’s not enough in this moment.

“Now, I feel guilty for not knowing,” again, she makes a whispered confession. “I feel guilty for even wondering if I was the only one broken-hearted over everything and I’m sorry for that,” her eyes meet Alison’s, albeit briefly, and she tries her hardest to put on her most sincere expression.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Alison’s voice is barely audible. “We both have things to feel guilty for, Em, but it’s important to remember that we have a right to feel things, even if they’re just for a moment. We’re both human,” she swallows hard and smiles a fraction when remembering her conversation with Spencer.

Emily nods slowly, attempting to let the blonde’s words sink in. Again, silence quickly consumes the porch area aside from the frogs’ croaking noise coming from somewhere near the distant railing. Alison tilts her head and searches the sky, noting the cloudy atmosphere as the storm approaches. Suddenly, Emily breathes out another small laugh out of nowhere and the other girl side-eyes the brunette with a shaky glance, wondering what’s so funny since they were just having a pretty serious conversation. 

“I also wondered if you took your ring off,” comes the explanation. “After I left mine here… I expected you to take yours off. I don’t know.”

“The thought never even crossed my mind,” Alison responds in a solid tone.

She lifts her hand so she can look at her ring, using her other hand to play with it slightly. 

The blonde girl continues with a small grin, “This is the second most valuable thing in my life.”

Emily swallows hard and blushes, looking at Alison and allowing a tiny smile to cross her features as the other girl mirrors the expression. Soon, the brunette forces herself to look away after her eyes, once again, drift downwards and, honestly, she’s getting real tired of this “time” nonsense. Alison, on the other hand, continues to stare at Emily who seems to be trying her hardest to focus on something else ━ like the tree across the street, for example.

A firm rumble of thunder sounds from somewhere northbound and Alison looks at Emily who doesn’t even flinch. Her blue eyes continue to stare, especially when another wave of thunder rolls through the air, and that’s when the brunette finally turns to her with a creased forehead. 

“What?” her eyes scan Alison’s worried expression.

When another piece of thunder passes through, Alison raises an explanatory eyebrow and Emily’s lips part with a soft, understanding head nod. 

“I’ll be fine,” she says.

“Are you sure, Em? I know you love sitting out here, but━”

“Alison,” comes the gentle interruption, “I’m okay. We can go inside if it gets bad.”

“Okay.”

Suddenly, small raindrops begin to hit the ground in front of them and Emily sighs again. It doesn’t take long before even more rain pours from the sky, creating growing puddles along the walkway, driveway, and road. Alison glances at one of the new puddles and chuckles softly, remembering how she had intentionally stepped into the small hole of water while walking to the pharmacy. Emily hears the other girl make a noise and her eyes float over to the source. 

“What?” it’s Alison’s turn to wonder why the other girl is staring at her.

“What are you laughing at?”

“I wasn’t laughing,” comes the mumble.

“But you were… giggling,” Emily narrows her eyes.

“Was not.”

“Don’t be a pain.”

“ _ Fine _ ,” Alison breathes out, “I was just thinking about how you used to tease me for going out of my way  _ just  _ to step in puddles during walks.”

“You remember that?” the brunette is impressed yet pretty surprised and her smile grows.

Alison playfully scoffs, “Of course I remember that. Do you remember when I tried tripping you for laughing at me?”

“How could I forget? I nearly fell into a tree,” Emily rolls her eyes.

The other girl starts laughing hard and Emily shoots her an offended look. When the blonde doesn’t stop making fun of her, Emily huffs and pushes herself off of the steps, standing under the roof’s dripping edge and getting soaked almost immediately. Alison laughs even harder and that’s when Emily’s eyes narrow ━ and the blonde shuts up with wide eyes.

“No, Emily,” she shakes her head, but the other girl begins to approach her.

“Aw,” she pouts, “come on, Ali.” 

“No,” her head continues to shake as she crosses her arms and tries to protect herself. 

“You don’t want to splash in some puddles with me?”

“Don’t make it weird,” comes the girl’s laugh. 

Another large rumble of thunder hits the sky right above them and Alison’s eyes float upwards while Emily just stares at the blonde with a growing, devilish smirk. Before the sitting girl can react, she’s being yanked forward with a sharp, whiny grunt, and the brunette is laughing as she’s repeatedly swatted at. 

“What did I just say?!” Alison continues slapping at the girl who won’t stop laughing.

“I didn’t want to be the only one who’s wet!” Emily chokes out before she can stop herself and, afterwards, her eyes slightly widen as Alison snorts at the comment. 

“You, Alison, have a dirty mind,” comes the next statement before Emily walks further onto the grass.

“Oh, and you don’t?” she challenges as she follows the brunette with her hands on her hips. 

“Nope. I was talking about the rain,” Emily gestures at the sky. 

“Yeah, the real face of innocence,” Alison raises an eyebrow while Emily blushes slightly. 

As Emily continues to stand in the middle of their front yard while the rain pours down, Alison moves closer with an ever-growing smirk, much like the expression she used to always use when they were teenagers.

“What was it that I said back then?” she asks rhetorically.

Emily bites her lower lip and blushes harder, looking away from the girl who now stands right in front of her. 

“ _ ‘Shy on the streets, sexy in the sheets’ _ ?” the blonde girl recalls with a smile.

“That was so long ago,” Emily shakes her head with a quiet laugh.

“But I was still correct,” her smug expression causes the other girl to crumble with furiously blushing cheeks as she barely breathes.

Their faces are only inches away and neither girl makes any sudden movements because, really, it’s become a game to see who will cave first. Emily, on one hand, seems to have a more difficult time steadying her breathing due to the entire “kissing in the rain” cliché that dances around in her head, whereas Alison puts on a stone-like, lovable expression as she waits for what  _ could  _ happen ━ or what  _ won’t  _ happen. The blonde slightly licks her lips but doesn’t advance forward and, instead, takes a step back to see Emily’s confused gaze ━ and partial frown. When she smiles, the brunette’s confusion deepens, but her internal questions are answered when Alison takes her hand and drags her into the house. In the blonde’s mind, she figures that, sure, a kiss in the rain would be magical, beautiful,  _ whatever _ , but who’s to say they wouldn’t catch pneumonia before Emily ever made a damn move? So, she kills the idea and pulls Emily through their front door, snickering when she hears the other girl’s grunts of displeasure while feeling her damp shirt and pajama shorts.

When the brunette continues to whine while trying to loosen her shirt, Alison laughs.

“Come on, sticky,” she pulls Emily into the kitchen and up the stairs, carefully moving across the room so they don’t slip on the tile and, eventually, wood floors. 

The two walk through the narrow hallway and turn into the bedroom while remaining hand-in-hand. Once they get inside, Alison lets go of the other girl’s hand and immediately pulls her shirt over her head ━ until she realizes that it may be a bit too straightforward.

“I’m sorry,” she offers Emily a cheeky smile while she covers herself with her discarded shirt, “do you want me to change somewhere else?”

The brunette’s cheeks turn the same shade of pink as outside and she looks away as much as she can with a negative humming noise. Alison narrows her eyes but smiles nonetheless and that’s when Emily passes her so she can grab some new clothes from her closet. The blonde not-so-subtly checks out Emily while she walks away and her eyes widen once she realizes that the brunette has been glancing backwards for a few seconds.

“What are you staring at?” Emily repeats her words from earlier, a knowing look covering her features as she stands in her closet doorway. 

“You,” Alison tries to control the situation with a shrug and solid admission.

The brunette smirks as her eyes roam the other girl’s partially-covered body.

“Good,” comes the simple reply, and she disappears behind the closet door as Alison’s lips part when she’s caught off-guard by the tone and gesture. 

To both girls, it feels like hours pass before their eyes meet again, and that’s because Emily paces back and forth in her medium-sized closet before finally emerging; it’s nerve-wracking, to say the least, to feel like a lovestruck teenager all over again. Really, the brunette thought that she was over these constant butterflies and nervous feelings but, most recently, they’ve come back ━ and they actually feel stronger than way-back-when. Alison, meanwhile, sits on the edge of their bed while absentmindedly biting her thumbnail; she still wonders if she’s pushing Emily too hard or if she’s flirting too much but, honestly, she can’t help it. After all, this is  _ Emily _ : the girl she’s come to love and hold onto for dear life after so many years of being on the run together━ 

“What are you thinking about?” Emily interrupts the other girl’s thoughts, leaning against the frame of her closet door.

“You.”

“Is that your answer to everything?” she moves further into the room.

“Mm,” Alison puts on a thinking face as she stands up, “would you rather me say that I’m thinking about something else?”

Emily doesn’t answer; she stands there, motionless, as the other girl approaches until she’s standing with only a foot of space between them. When the brunette continues to stare at her without answering, Alison takes another step forward, smiling when she can actually see Emily’s breathing hitch. 

“Good,” Alison whispers before walking into the bathroom, leaving a dumbfounded Emily in the same spot. 

The brunette, getting sucked back into her thoughts, begins to pace again ━ but, this time, covering a shorter distance. A weird feeling bubbles in her stomach ━ not to say that it’s particularly  _ new  _ ━ and she takes a deep breath as she pauses her motions for a moment. Her eyes float to the bathroom door as she purses her lips and stands there looking like some deranged, confused animal, and then she internally groans. It doesn’t take long before she’s pacing again; she wonders if she should just crawl into bed and hope that Alison cuddles her, but she also wants to feel the other girl’s lips against hers since it’s been so long ━ too damn long. But, then again, is it too soon? Are they ready to go back to that?

Her thoughts are completely derailed when Alison walks out of the bathroom.

“Why are you still standing there?” the blonde raises an eyebrow.

Emily just looks at her, breathes out, and mentally declares,  _ “Fuck it,” _ before she walks over to the other girl and kisses her with a timid yet steady force. Alison doesn’t exactly relax into the kiss initially because she’s pretty stunned, but eventually she allows herself to melt into the lip-lock and savors the feeling of Emily’s lips against hers for the first time in a while ━ aside from that brief, “accidental” kiss the day prior. The brunette smiles against the other girl’s mouth, being content with her decision as her hands cup Alison’s jaw so she can deepen the kiss. Alison moves as close as she can without practically stepping on the other girl and her fists grip at Emily’s shirt as she sighs into the kiss.

When the brunette finally pulls back, breathless, she rests her forehead against the blonde’s as her hands remain lingering on Alison’s cheeks.

“I missed you, Ali,” her thumb moves against the girl’s cheek.

Alison smiles while whispering, “You don’t have to miss me. I’ll always be right here,” earning a smile, a head nod, and another long, meaningful kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't enjoy a good cliché? Those damn, cheesy words. Alison, pls.
> 
> How was the fluffy? Average? Fantastic? Could use some work? Either way, more fluffy moments will be smacking you in the face as we progress and, well, *various hand motions*... you'll see.
> 
> Again, let me say that this is/was my favorite chapter because, ultimately, the two characters really do "make up" with a kiss. Additionally, the rain scene gets me because I like the thought of these two having a nice heart to heart conversation while sitting somewhere that's pretty damn calming. Emily was able to brave the thunder at the same time, so to speak, so they pretty much progressed a lot in that one little scene.
> 
> "We both have things to feel guilty for, Em, but it's important to remember that we have a right to feel things, even if they're just for a moment. We're both human." ━ Alison remembering her conversation with Spencer is also something that I wanted to put in solely to show that, yeah, she didn't like the concept previously, but now she understands what Spencer meant.
> 
> Ch. 17 is going to be nice. It's basically a final push to patch things up between Alison/Hanna/Emily. It's a smooth wrap-up ━ not to say that you won't be seeing the other girls again because, trust me, I wouldn't close out the story without them.
> 
> Next update: Tuesday (the latest).
> 
> New story hint: The characters are much different in the new multi-chapter compared to this story. Of course I kept the personalities that we know and love, but it's cool to think about:
> 
> In this fic, Emily is guarded but mushy (around Alison), Alison is pretty darn open to things and quick to understand what she should/shouldn't do, Hanna is mature (and maybe a bit harsh), Spencer is logical and the "grown up" out of everyone, and Aria is the hopeless romantic who's quiet (for the most part). ━ In the new story, Emily tries her best to stay out of situations however won't hesitate to put up a fight if she begins to feel determined, Alison is teasing, sassy, and reluctant while knowing what battles are worth fighting, Hanna is silly yet "let's get down to business" when necessary, Spencer is mature but knows how to have a fun time, and Aria is actually very excitable with a dash of that soft, knowing nature.
> 
> Let me know what you think and, as always, message me or whatever. I say the same thing every time so you probably know the drill by now, but I love to type which is why I'm creating such a long-ass run-on sentence right now, thank you. Have a nice day and whatnot.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading a day early because your feedback makes me happy and I just had the worst day.
> 
> I mean, I can't say it was the worst day but, well, I had three panic attacks after finding out that one of my courses required us to act out our written works almost every single meeting. I don't act. I don't… perform. I write. With that being said, I dropped the course and I'll be taking a different variation of it later on. So, apparently, my schedule just freed up a little.
> 
> Also, I recently found out that my pup (well, she's almost five) has a ruptured ACL that may, in the future, require surgery. Just… send her good vibes while she continues hobbling like a little tripod, thanks.
> 
> Nonetheless, like I said… your comments make me happy, so I hope this chapter is enjoyable enough that you'll leave me some nice notes.

“Ali,” Emily whines with a slight laugh, “you’re sweaty and gross. Go shower.”

“Mm, no,” the other girl hums against the brunette’s neck, kissing her skin while she stands behind where Emily’s seated at the kitchen table.

Emily’s hands fall from her laptop’s keyboard and she tries to keep her breathing steady, however continues to fail miserably. Alison smirks against her neck, nipping at the skin every once in a while.

It’s currently 9:07 P.M. and Alison just arrived home from teaching a short self-defense class. Emily, while the blonde girl was gone,  _ attempted  _ to get more work done but Alison’s overall existence was a big distraction because, really, the brunette is extremely frustrated as of late. 

They’ve been like this for four days now: getting closer and closer to falling into bed with one another for the first time since everything happened, but then they stop. It’s not one girl’s fault more than the other’s, but neither Emily nor Alison want to push the boundary all too soon. On the other hand, they both feel as though they’re  _ ready  _ for that step, but it just hasn’t come yet. Also, it’s not like Emily hasn’t  _ tried  _ to get them there; within the last few days, there have been plenty of times when they were heating up in bed before going to sleep and Alison just… stopped.

_ Emily feels her body pressed against the mattress as Alison straddles one of her thighs. Their lips connect again ━ like most of the night ━ and the brunette sighs happily into the kiss, never wanting the feeling to end. Alison, leaning down, bites the other girl’s lower lip and smiles when she hears Emily inhale sharply, which is when she lets go and resumes kissing the brunette. Once again, Emily smiles against the other girl’s mouth and her hands begin to roam even further downwards, ending up just past the waistline of Alison’s pajama shorts. _

_ Suddenly, the blonde pecks her on the lips one last time before rolling over and lying flat on her back, shoulder brushing against Emily’s while the brunette’s eyebrows furrow in deep confusion. _

_ “That’s it?” Emily finally chokes out.  _

_ “Hmm?” the other girl’s eyes are shut but she hums. _

_ The brunette rolls over so she’s facing Alison, “Are you going to sleep?” _

_ “Mhm.” _

_ “Why?” comes the near-squeak and the blonde opens one eye so she can look at the girl who seems pretty frustrated at the abrupt stop ━ a sight that makes her want to chuckle but she knows how offended Emily will get if she makes a comical sound.  _

_ “You said you needed time, so I’m giving it to you.” _

_ “But━” _

_ “Em,” Alison sternly interrupts, “we’re not going to rush things. I won’t risk that.” _

_ Emily huffs, “So, you’re just going to go to sleep?” _

_ “Yup,” the blonde girl says, though she’s not all that convinced, herself. _

_ Grunting, Emily flops onto her back and stares at the ceiling. Alison smirks at the frustration, hoping that it’ll take her mind off her own ━ which, in the end, it doesn’t and she internally curses at herself for getting mildly heated with the brunette before killing the entire mood. “How considerate,” she rolls her eyes at herself. Meanwhile, Emily feels as though her entire body is on fire and she shifts when trying to get comfortable but never can; her skin is too sticky at the moment and, whenever she moves, the sheets bunch up. “It’s going to be a long night,” her eyes slam shut at the thought. _

“How are you able to get so lost in thought while I’m practically devouring your neck?” Alison laughs once she’s resting her chin on Emily’s shoulder. 

Emily shifts so Alison allows her to turn around and, when they’re face to face, the brunette narrows her eyes as she tilts her head. Soon, however, she smirks and stands up, immediately kissing the girl who now stands in front of her. She walks their meshed bodies towards the staircase, keeping a firm hand on Alison’s lower back as they move and, once they’re at the landing, the blonde gives her one last peck on the lips before running up the stairs. Emily looks up the staircase, dumbfounded, as she doesn’t even have time to react before Alison is disappearing somewhere within the upstair’s hallway. She looks around the kitchen, internally debating on whether or not she should chase the other girl and, within the next few seconds, her feet are bringing her up the staircase and down the hallway. 

Once she turns into the bedroom, her brown eyes land upon Alison’s bare skin as the girl pulls her shirt over her head with her back facing the doorway. Emily’s eyes widen but she shakes her head and smiles, immediately walking over to the blonde and wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist as she kisses her neck.

“Em,” Alison breathes out, “you told me to shower.”

“Mhm,” she hums, “but then you didn’t listen and now I don’t care if you do.”

Her lips continue to travel the length of the blonde’s neck, kissing and sucking on the skin as she makes light red marks along the way. Alison lets out a few moans during the time being and Emily smirks against the damp path she’s created. When Alison feels Emily’s smirk, she turns around with a pointed yet playful expression, putting some distance between them with a firm poke to the brunette’s chest.

“I need to shower.”

“You can shower after,” Emily closes the distance right before Alison creates more.

Emily groans when Alison takes another large step backwards.

“Aw, what’s wrong?” the blonde shoots her a mocking pout.

“Why do you hate me?” 

Alison raises an eyebrow with a chuckle while Emily frowns severely. When the brunette doesn’t change her expression, Alison smiles and approaches, locking her wrists behind Emily’s neck as she rests her forearms on the girl’s shoulders. She presses her lips against Emily’s, letting their mouths briefly linger only an inch apart afterwards. 

“I don’t hate you and you know that.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Emily,” comes the gentle scolding. 

“Come on, Ali,” the brunette leans in again, pressing a soft kiss to the lips she’s become re-accustomed to feeling.

Alison melts into the kiss, allowing herself to press against the other girl more than before but, once she realizes what she’s doing, she pulls back with a smile and walks towards the bathroom. Emily catches up, however, and tries to get into the bathroom, but Alison only peeks her head out of the doorway so she can glare at the other girl.

“I’m sorry, did you need something?” she raises an eyebrow at Emily who huffs.

When the brunette doesn’t respond, she hums a curt “Mhm” and closes the door fully. She hears Emily groan from the master bedroom and smirks at the sound, though she’d be lying if she said she doesn’t feel the exact same type of frustration.

Within recent days, it’s become harder and harder to keep her hands to herself ━ and, apparently, Emily is having the same problem. Alison  _ wants  _ to go further, definitely, but she feels…  _ nervous _ ; she feels as though it’s going to be another “first time” and she just wants it to be perfect.  _ “But when is the right time?” _ she stresses as she turns the shower on. She steps into the confined space not even a moment after and cold water hits her skin because, really, she can’t stand to be in a steam-filled shower right now ━ no way. 

Suddenly, the thought of Emily’s ring crawls into her mind and her eyes squint when she realizes that she’s barely seen the piece of jewelry in recent days. The brunette still isn’t wearing it ━ and Alison would know because they’re constantly playing with one another’s fingers ━ but she wonders if it’s still sitting on the kitchen table. The blonde sighs as she leans her head back, washing her hair.  _ “What if she never puts it on again?” _ her negative thoughts intrude. Truthfully, she’s been getting better when it comes to her pessimistic mindset, but ugly thoughts still find their way into her mind every now and then ━ which, Alison knows, is common but it still sucks. 

Emily has been improving as well, especially when it comes to dealing with what happened regarding Noel and the confrontation before that. Overall, the blonde feels as though Emily is beginning to trust her again (using the term loosely) and they’re regaining a bond that they had lost over the course of when the brunette was gone ━ and maybe even before that.

She smiles but her expression falls flat when the bathroom door unlocks and Emily peeks in.

“Get out,” Alison lets out with a slight laugh, shouting over the sound of the shower. 

“I just needed to get something, Alison,” she plays innocent and the blonde rolls her eyes. 

“Are you  _ sure  _ that’s why you came in here?” Alison teases and she knows it’s an idiotic move but she just can’t help it.

When the brunette opens the shower door a fraction and the other girl tries so hard to cover herself with a surprised frown, Emily chuckles with a casual “I mean… it  _ was _ , but then I remembered that you’ve been teasing me for days.”

Alison swallows hard, not having a rebuttal.

“But it’s fine. I feel better now,” Emily smirks before she walks out and Alison’s frown from before intensifies when she has no idea what the other girl means. 

She hears the bathroom door close and she turns off the shower seconds later. Reaching for a towel, Alison wraps it around her torso so it covers everything down to her mid-thigh and she wrings her hair before stepping out of the wet space, onto the small rug. She takes a deep breath, trying to rid her mind of any unnecessary thoughts, and then prepares herself so she can walk out of the room ━ though she scolds herself for not bringing her clothes into the damn bathroom. 

Within seconds, her head peeks out of the small crack she’s made with the door while her eyes scan the room as much as possible. When there’s no sign of the other girl, she tightens her grip on the towel wrapped around her torso and bolts for her closet which is located on the further side of the room. On her way to the closet, she sees Emily sitting in the reading area nearby and, naturally, she tries to move faster. She’s surprised, however, when the brunette doesn’t even attempt to chase her and, honestly, it’s a bit suspicious. So, as Alison enters her closet, she tries to open some drawers and her eyes widen while she groans loudly. Meanwhile, Emily smirks from where she’s seated. 

“Emily  _ Fields _ ,” the blonde storms out of her closet, rounds the corner, and comes face to face with the girl who sits there with an expectant expression.

“Mhm?” Emily hums with a now-unreadable facade, though it seems like a new kind of smirk.

The brunette blinks repeatedly as her features turn cunning and Alison shifts her jaw as she huffs, approaching even further with a dangerous demeanor. When Emily stands up, however, the blonde takes a few steps back and tightens her towel with a nervous laugh. 

“Give me the key,” Alison demands, though she’s still partly laughing.

“What key?” she plays dumb.

“The one to my drawers,” the girl gets out through her teeth, ready to strangle the brunette in front of her.

Of course, when they had first moved in, the two went shopping together in order to buy some bigger furniture pieces for the house. Alison, upon seeing a few cheap, cute dressers, made the choice to buy a set for her closet because, well, she has twice as much stuff than the other girl. Emily, when she saw the blonde’s decision, raised an eyebrow with a chuckle.

_ “Alison, you’re going to lose the key within the first week of having these,” the brunette tries to talk the other girl out of it. _

_ “No,” Alison narrows her eyes in response, hands on her hips as she tilts her head at the girl, “I won’t even use the key, Em. They’re just extremely cute and pretty cheap.” _

Emily has done this once before, but that was only because she and Alison were in the middle of a full-blown prank war ━ obviously started by the brunette and won by the girl who asked Roman to help steal one of Emily’s tires.

It’s not like Alison doesn’t have any clothes hanging along racks in her closet, but those are mostly formal things, sweatshirts, and items she hasn’t worn in ages. As for her drawers… they hold  _ everything _ : underwear, bras, pajamas, t-shirts, shorts, jeans, etc. So, as Emily continues to stare at her with a fake-innocent expression, Alison sighs and tilts her head.

“Why are you doing this?” it comes out like a whine because, really, she’s not in the mood for this game. 

Emily shrugs with a grin and that’s when she takes a few steps toward the girl with a slow yet steady pace. Alison’s expression just turns more pointed, meanwhile, and she narrows her eyes with a frown once the brunette is standing not even a foot away from her. Emily leans forward and kisses the other girl’s frown, earning no movement or recognition at all. When she notices Alison’s lack of response, she tries again, placing her hands on the blonde’s hips in order to bring her closer. Alison, on the other hand, keeps a firm grip on her towel as she allows herself to kiss the other girl a fraction ━ but not much at all.

“Okay,” Alison backs up, “now go and unlock my drawers.”

Emily leans back in, smiling when the other girl shakes her head while their lips remain touching.

“No,” she tilts her head back again, “Em, go. I need to get dressed.”

It’s the brunette’s turn to frown and, honestly, it’s a genuine frown because she just doesn’t  _ understand _ ; she’s tried to think about why Alison is so forcefully keeping them physically apart but, really, it’s just not normal for Alison and it’s worrying her.

“Ali, did I do something?” comes the sudden, nervous question.

“What?” Alison tilts her head.

“Like… I know we said we’re going to take things slow, but…” her mouth opens and closes as her voice trails off. 

Emily looks away because she doesn’t really want to see any form of possible rejection swirl in Alison’s eyes, but the blonde takes a step forward and connects their lips again ━ which completely catches the other girl off-guard. The brunette’s hands move up to cup Alison’s jaw and her stomach flips because, really, she just loves feeling genuinely  _ loved _ and  _ wanted _ . Distance is put between them soon after and Alison backs up with a shy smile. 

“You didn’t do anything, Em. Please don’t think you did anything wrong,” she rubs her thumb along the brunette’s lower lip. 

“I just don’t get it,” Emily confesses. “I’m not trying to force you into anything, but━”

“I want things to be perfect. That’s all. I know you said you’re ready and, trust me, I  _ really  _ wish I could just…” her eyes roam the other girl’s body before she snaps back into the conversation.

“Since when have things  _ completely  _ gone our way, Alison?” Emily raises an eyebrow while the girl in front of her laughs.

“Just… be patient,” Alison presses a gentle kiss to the corner of Emily’s mouth, “I promise I’ll make it worth the wait.”

Emily groans, “You can’t say things like that and expect me  _ not  _ to be all over you.”

“You can be all over me,” she shrugs with a smirk, “but I’m not going to give in easily.”

The other girl raises a daring eyebrow, and Alison immediately backs up with a stern point of her finger and a soft “Don’t.”

Alison’s feet continue to take her backwards whenever Emily takes a step forward and, soon, she’s halfway across the room which means she’s only halfway to the bathroom. Before Alison can really react, the brunette speeds up and catches her, pressing her front against the girl’s backside with an arm wrapped around the blonde’s waist. 

“Emily, don’t do it.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to do yet,” she narrows her eyes while Alison’s widen at the last word.

“I mean it,” her voice is shaky.

Alison struggles to break free from the embrace but her arms go limp as her nails dig into the other girl’s forearm once she feels Emily pressing warm, open-mouthed kisses along the back and side of her neck. She moans at the sensation and, in the meantime, nearly loses her towel, but she catches the fabric and attempts to reapply a firm grip.

“Em, please,” now, her voice is a complete whimper and the brunette doesn’t even smirk at the sound because she’s too determined. 

Emily drags the tip of her tongue up the other girl’s neck, eventually trailing back down with small bites as various noises fall from Alison’s lips with every new sensation. It takes another two minutes before the blonde musters up any kind of strength but, when she does, she forcefully turns around in Emily’s arms, grabs onto the brunette’s shirt, and pushes her backwards so they both land on the bed. Once Alison is straddling Emily’s torso with the towel just barely hanging onto her chest, the brunette smiles and the girl on top of her leans down, brushing their noses together.

“I think this was your plan all along,” Alison accuses in a now-solid tone.

“Do you?”

“Mhm,” the other girl hums, “I’m onto you and your little games.”

At that, Emily’s eyes shift to Alison’s position as the blonde doesn’t even realize that she’s made an extremely ironic pun. Next, the brunette feels her wrists being pinned above her head, pressing against their soft comforter as Alison tilts her head with a smirk.

“It’s okay, though. I’m sure that I can play your little games a lot better, anyway,” her smirk intensifies as she sits up straight, managing to keep the towel in place.

When Emily feels that her wrists are free, she goes to move but the other girl resumes her former position with a “tsk tsk” sound. The brunette narrows her eyes in response and Alison kisses the corner of her mouth.

“You’re going to keep them there,” the blonde sits back up again and, this time, Emily complies.

“And if I don’t?” she tries to play along but Alison just raises an eyebrow and that’s the end of her attempt. 

For a moment, Alison seems as though she’s thinking and barely blinks as she stares at the window across from her, and, within seconds, she’s flipped onto her back as the towel only lies across her body instead of around it. It’s Emily’s turn to pin the other girl down and, when she does, she looks into a pair of stunned, blue eyes as Alison’s lips part when she realizes what happened. 

“Never take your eyes off the prize, Ali. You’d know that if you’re so good at games.”

“And you should know that taunting gets you nowhere,” Alison challenges as her chest rises and falls.

“Are you sure?” she leans down to kiss the blonde but, instead, gets her lip snagged between Alison’s teeth with a sharp inhale. 

When Alison lets go, she’s wearing a smug expression as Emily backs up again. The brunette’s eyes narrow before she notices the towel partially below her legs and, when her gaze flickers to the fabric, the other girl begins to shake her head and holds it against her chest. Emily tries to move Alison’s hands repeatedly (yet fails every time) and, soon, the girl pressed against the mattress begins to thrash as she attempts to escape. Emily, eventually, is tossed to the side as she’s pressed against the comforter again, grunting heavily when she’s straddled by the blonde who smiles like she’s won something. 

“Someone got a bit too eager,” she returns the taunting.

“Mm, maybe,” Emily squints, “but I got what I wanted.”

Finally, Alison realizes that she’s no longer wearing the towel and she rolls her eyes hard. Emily smiles below her, blinking repeatedly when she’s glared at.

“You’re such a pain.” 

“Because I won?”

“No, because━”

Downstairs, they hear a knock at the door and both of their heads whip towards the bedroom doorway. At first, Alison thinks she’s hearing things but, when she sees Emily looking towards the hallway as well, she grows even more confused.

“Were you expecting anyone tonight?” she turns to the brunette who lies pressed against the mattress, shaking her head.

Alison looks at the nearby TV clock and notes that it’s 10:43 P.M. Soon, the blonde is rolling off of the other girl, stealing the towel, and wrapping it around her torso again. Emily sits up and walks along the floor, looking back at Alison who raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me,” Alison says bluntly. “I’m not answering the door in a towel.”

Emily rolls her eyes, “Fine, I’ll go see who it is.”

The brunette walks through the bedroom doorway and down the hall, quickly skipping down the stairs as she enters a dark kitchen. Really, their main floor isn’t the friendliest at night while it’s completely dark and, honestly, Emily usually has the other girl come with her ━ and vice versa. So, as her feet take her across the cool, kitchen tiles, her eyes bounce around the room at a fast rate and, soon, she’s facing the front door. She peeks through one of the nearby windows and furrows her eyebrows before unlocking the barrier. Quickly, she opens it to reveal a disheveled, slightly red-faced Hanna Marin holding a couple of duffle bags.

“Is it okay if I stay here for the night?” her eyes look completely pink and, really, she’s a mess ━ even her voice is hoarse and Emily’s forehead creases with an extreme frown.

“Of course, Hanna,” she moves so the other girl can walk further into the house, “what happened?”

Before she can answer, Alison quietly enters the room with a sympathetic yet confused expression. After a thorough search, Alison had found one of her favorite plaid shirts of Emily’s, so she shrugged the baggier button-up on over a bra she found in a recent pile of laundry. To accompany the top, she also found a simple pair of underwear and some of Emily’s old, grey shorts. All in all, she could kill the brunette right now ━ especially since they have company and she looks like they just had sex for hours.

“Is everything okay?” Alison’s timid question is directed at Hanna whose eyes blink hard as she shakes her head. 

“Here,” Emily guides Hanna over to one of the living room’s couches, “sit down.” 

“Thanks,” comes the whisper and the brunette nearly misses it because it’s almost totally silent. 

“Do you want anything? Water? Food?” she lists, hoping to get more answers out of Hanna who looks away.

“Ali,” Emily glances at the other blonde, “can you get some water?”

Alison nods and walks into the kitchen. As Hanna and Emily hear some glasses clanking around, the brunette stares at the quiet girl in hopes that she’ll be able to read her thoughts but, of course, she can’t and Hanna looks at the floor for minutes until Alison returns with a glass of water. Hanna mutters a small “Thanks” again, this time at Alison, and the other blonde nods as she places the glass onto the coffee table. Emily looks at Hanna’s two bags, wondering if she had been planning on doing whatever-it-is for a while now, but she doesn’t ask ━ not now. Alison, on the other hand, sits on the other couch which is adjacent from the two girls.

“I don’t… want to intrude,” Hanna shakes her head as she sniffles. “I just didn’t know where else to go. I couldn’t think.”

Emily nods in sympathy, wanting to hug the girl though she’s afraid since, really, she has no idea where they are on the entire “friendship” spectrum. 

“What happened?” the brunette tries.

“Caleb and I fought again,” she rubs at her eyes. “This time, it got real bad. I don’t know. There was so much yelling and near-hatred, and just…” her voice trails off as she begins to cry.

“Did he… kick you out?” Emily treads carefully as she shoots sympathetic eyes towards Hanna who sucks in a sharp breath.

“No,” she shakes her head with a small cough, “no, he didn’t. He asked me to stay but I couldn’t. I needed to get away for at least a night and, at first, I was going to stay in a hotel, but…” her voice trails off.

“You’re always welcome here, Hanna,” Alison offers more sympathy, really speaking for the first time, “even if you’re having a great day but just want some company.” 

Hanna smiles at Alison, even if it doesn’t reach her eyes (which is understandable) and the other blonde returns the sentiment before looking at Emily who offers a tight-lipped smile. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” the brunette continues to gently pry.

“I really don’t want to ruin your night.”

“Hanna,” Emily quietly scolds with a sad smile, “we’re not going to point you towards the guest bedroom and go on with our night. Talk to us.”

She hastily speaks, “I know how Noel found you guys.” 

The brunette visibly stiffens and Alison barely blinks while Hanna continues.

“We were arguing and he just… confessed,” she looks away from the two. “At first, I didn’t think I heard him correctly but I guess it was because I didn’t want to think that the person I love the most was capable of… being  _ that  _ vengeful.”

“What’d he say?” Alison treads carefully as Emily listens with a slight frown.

“He said that Noel came into his office recently. I don't even know how he knew where Caleb works,” she shakes her head. “Apparently, they went out for drinks somewhere. It’s even more disturbing because Caleb had never liked Noel to begin with.”

The other two girls zone into the story.

“But,” she sighs, “I guess they started talking over multiple drinks and, since Caleb and I were arguing that night, he let loose. He mentioned that I’m working with you two and obviously that caught Noel’s attention. Apparently he seemed interested in where you two were staying, so Caleb told him the area and your occupations since I had brought it up a time beforehand,” Hanna scowls as a tear falls from her eye. 

She finishes in a quiet voice, “He had nothing to lose, or so he said.”

Alison nods with pursed lips and Emily looks at the blonde she’s shared everything with for so long now; she assumes that the wheels are turning in her mind, especially because of the whole “everything is my fault” idea that she’s owned for so long now.

“Hanna,” Alison breathes out, “I’m so sorry.”

“ _ You’re _ sorry? I’m the one who’s sorry, Alison,” she seems offended by the apology. “Because of my asshole of a husband, you and Em were nearly knifed to death by someone who felt as though you deserve it when you  _ don’t _ .”

“Han━”

“God,” she puts her head in her hands, “I’ve been so busy looking at you as if you’re the enemy when my own husband━”

“No,” the other blonde shakes her head, “don’t say it, Hanna.”

“What?” Hanna chokes out. “Don’t tell me you’re defending him.”

Alison looks away, biting her inner cheek, and Emily studies her with a confused expression because, usually, the girl would throw a fit due to this type of information being found out, but━

“I think… we’ve all done and lied about things because of our own underlying agendas, even if we try to convince ourselves that it was for the best…” she trails off.

“No,” this time, Hanna shakes her head, “don’t try comparing this to when you lied to Emily back then, Alison. That was to protect her and we all know it.”

“I know,” Alison nods, “and I’m not defending him. I’ve learned that lying doesn’t help anyone in the end,” she rubs her lips together in thought, “but don’t let this affect you two. Em and I are alive, and we’re trying to move past this.”

Emily looks at Hanna who stares back at her; truly, they’re both impressed at how Alison is taking the information. The brunette nods with a soft smile, trying to reassure the girl that she’s finally feeling moderately okay and Hanna purses her lips as she looks away with a deep breath.

“I don’t know,” Hanna shakes her head again. “It’s all sorts of fucked up.  _ Everything _ .”

After a short pause, the brunette speaks up, “When did the arguing start?”

“A while ago.”

“Tell us about it,” she sounds as if she’s walking on eggshells, just in case the other girl doesn’t exactly want to talk about it but, when she takes a deep breath, both Emily and Alison get comfortable and wait.

Hanna sighs, “Okay. A few years ago, I was like…  _ obsessed  _ with getting pregnant. I wanted to start having kids and, honestly, I don’t know where the desire came from but I just wanted to feel  _ needed  _ by someone.”

Emily furrows her eyebrows but listens intently and Alison does the same as she shifts in her seat.

“Caleb and I tried to…” she makes a face and Emily breathes out a slight laugh, “but we couldn’t. When we couldn’t no matter what we did, I grew severely frustrated and began to take it out on him,” her head shakes in disgust with herself. 

_ “I don’t get it,” Hanna paces through their kitchen, using her fingers to play with her lower lip as she shakes her head. _

_ She continues, “What’s wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me?!” _

_ “No, Han━” _

_ “Like, am I defective? Is that it?” her eyes are wide as she continues to walk around the room. _

_ “Hanna,” Caleb stresses as he stands up. _

_ “What?” she snaps and he looks away.  _

_ “Maybe it’s just not meant to be right now.” _

_ “It has to be, okay? There has to be something…” she clenches her jaw. _

_ “Look, sometimes this happens━” _

_ “What would you know about this?” Hanna’s tone is accusatory.  _

_ “I’m not saying that I do, but━” _

_ “Caleb! You don’t get it. Just one more fucked up thing in my life,” she stresses as she walks away from Caleb who narrows his eyes with an angry expression. _

_ “Hanna, why are you so obsessed with this? I don’t understand. If you explain it, then maybe I’ll know how to help.” _

_ “You can’t help!” _

_ “So, what? You’re going to use me to get pregnant and that’s it? We’re married, Hanna. I’m supposed to be able to help you when you’re feeling like crap.” _

_ “But you can’t!” _

_ He looks away again as his hands rub at his eyelids. Hanna, on the other hand, crosses her arms and frowns at the entire situation.  _

_ “Do you think you need to start seeing someone again?” he starts and the blonde’s eyes widen as she stares at him with a furious expression. “Maybe you want this so badly because you’re feeling depressed.” _

_ “No, Caleb, that’s not it. You’re going to accuse me of being depressed just because I want to start a family?” _

_ “I’m not accusing━” _

_ “Whatever,” and, with that, she walks out of the kitchen.  _

“Ever since then, things have been rocky between us. I mean…” Hanna corrects herself, “we have a good relationship, considering everything, but lately we’re resorting back to those days when I really  _ was  _ depressed.”

“So, do you think he was right?” Emily tilts her head.

“Maybe,” she lets out a sad laugh, “I don’t know. I really wanted to have kids… but, at the same time, I’m not sure if I was ready for them solely because of how immature I was about the entire thing.”

The brunette nods slowly as Alison shifts nearby.

“What did you guys argue about tonight? Before he confessed to the Noel thing,” Alison speaks up and Hanna faces the other blonde with parted lips.

“I don’t even remember how it started. Everything’s so fucked up,” she groans as she rubs at her eyes. 

Really, Alison can’t help but feel like some of this has to do with her. Maybe, once she and Emily fell back into Hanna’s life, the girl’s arguments with Caleb worsened because, really, they  _ are  _ the reason why she fell into a depression in the first place. It’s not that Alison is self-blaming again but, after that hospital encounter with Caleb  _ and  _ the new information she’s learned tonight, she can’t help but think it. Even if they had been arguing for quite some time before that, she and Emily were likely catalysts or at least an outlet so Caleb could take out some aggression but, either way, Alison feels guilty that Hanna has to deal with it. Ultimately, she really hopes that Hanna can find a way to talk to Caleb and, hopefully, move past what he had done regarding Noel. It’s over with, that’s for sure, and Alison just wants everyone to… move on. In the end, she knows that it’s Hanna’s decision and she’s willing to support the other blonde as much as she can.

“Do you want to lie down, Han?” Emily wonders again. “You look exhausted.”

“I  _ feel  _ exhausted,” she jokes. “Honestly, I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Do you want me to sleep down here with you?”

Her voice is tiny, “Can you both sleep down here with me?”

Emily looks at Alison who seems stunned at the suggestion but, of course, they share a nod with Hanna who smiles shyly with a quiet “Thank you.” So, without wasting any more time, Emily gets up, moves Hanna’s glass of water, and begins to slide the coffee table to the other side of the room. Both blondes watch on, neither bothering to help as the brunette grunts repeatedly. Eventually, the piece of furniture is gone from the center of the room and Emily turns to the other girls with her hands on her hips.

“Who’s sleeping where?”

“Well, Hanna can sleep━”

“The floor,” Hanna interrupts. 

“What?” Alison raises an eyebrow.

“I think what Hanna means is━”

“Hanna knows what Hanna means,” she raises a hand in Emily’s direction before explaining, “We’re all going to sleep on the floor so none of us feel left out.”

“Or you could sleep on  _ that  _ couch and Ali and I could━” 

“No,” she shakes her head and Alison snorts at the interruption when Emily’s face falls flat.

“Are we  _ really  _ going to sleep on the floor? All three of us?” Alison makes a face.

“Yeah,” Hanna nods, “just like old times.”

“If I recall correctly, you always called dibs on whatever couch was nearby,” Emily intervenes. 

“Which is why you’re so lucky I’m willing to sleep on the floor with you two.”

“But we didn’t ask you━”

“Well, I’m offering anyway,” Hanna’s voice takes on a stern tone.

Emily and Alison look at each other but whatever silent conversation they were trying to have is interrupted by Hanna who begins talking again.

“By the way, I’m sleeping in the middle. I don’t trust you two sleeping next to one another.”

Emily narrows her eyes while Alison tilts her head back and forth in an understanding manner. Hanna, on the other hand, bounces a pointed look between both of them as Emily remains standing and Alison sits in the same spot.

So, for the remainder of the night, the three girls talk about whatever sparks their interests and Hanna asks the two (not-so-subtly) if they’ve made up yet, noting the faint marks on Alison’s neck ━ which she surprisingly doesn’t mention. At the question, Alison nervously looks to Emily who blushes with a quiet “Yes,” but Hanna’s eyes flicker to the girl’s hand to see that she’s still not wearing her ring. Instead of pushing the topic, Hanna changes it into something lighter and the atmosphere thins out again. Occasionally, Alison will steal a glance at Emily with a soft smile and the brunette will raise an eyebrow while eyeing the other girl’s outfit. She smirks, however, when Alison rolls her eyes and goes back to talking with Hanna. 

Once blankets (piles upon piles of them) are strewn across the floor, all three girls get situated after Emily and Alison share a goodnight kiss ━ at which Hanna groans repeatedly, even if it was a short peck. In no time, both Hanna and Alison are fast asleep, whereas Emily lies awake as she stares at the ceiling. After an hour of cycling thoughts and inevitable, leftover frustration, her eyes shut and she joins the other two in a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sprays Emily and Alison with cold water* Behave.
> 
> This chapter's ending makes me happy in a togetherness sense ━ and I'm happy to say that we get a flashback summary of the morning after their abrupt sleepover.
> 
> About Hanna's story: This is one of the final puzzle pieces I wanted to throw in for her character development. Sure, after she left Rosewood, she was in a deep hole when it came to depression and letting herself feel, but it also threw her for a loop when she couldn't have kids which is why she began to think that she was defective. Maybe she always blamed Alison and she's recently owned up to that, but part of Hanna internally blamed herself for these shitty things.
> 
> Adding onto that, Hanna's relationship with Caleb is not complete crap. I want to clarify that. What they've gone through is their own version of "hell and back." They left together, made a life together, took a swift kick in the throat together, and Alison waltzed (so to speak) back into their life which ultimately was a final blow that, in a way, broke them. So, sure, it's bad, but Hanna is a strong character that won't take Caleb's shit (and vice versa), thus bringing her to Emily and Alison's house to share the news which, surprisingly, Alison took well because of her own character development. Shocking to see how Hanna went from throwing punches at Alison (or slaps at Emily) to wondering why Alison is defending Caleb. Interesting. ━ Caleb will make one last, abrupt "appearance" to wrap up that storyline but, for now, Hanna/Caleb will be working "behind the scenes" to repair their relationship.
> 
> Overall, it seems like things are finally heating up between our favs as we move towards the end of "January of 2011." I'm glad everyone's been enjoying this fic up to now (and hopefully all the way through).
> 
> Next update: Saturday (and these next two chapters are super fun, lemme tell you that).
> 
> New story hint: The line ━ "Emily has done this once before, but that was only because she and Alison were in the middle of a full-blown prank war ━ obviously started by the brunette and won by the girl who asked Roman to help steal one of Emily's tires." ━ from this story heavily relates to a recurring theme in the new multi-chapter: being spontaneous. So, if you enjoy watching these two "one-up" each other or try to reach some sort of common ground regarding a relaxed lifestyle and/or exciting choices, you'll be happy when/if you read the new story.
> 
> Thank you for always taking the time to read my stories and extremely long author's notes. True friends. Anyway, do whatever until I see you on Saturday. I'll always be here for comments, questions, PMs, Tumblr messages ("capn-charlie"), or whatever else you want to throw at me. Thanks for keeping me level-headed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend!
> 
> Thanks for the great reactions/reviews regarding last chapter. Really helped my mood pick up. So, as a thank you, I'm updating this hours upon hours earlier than I usually would. 
> 
> Update: I recently finished revising the epilogue chapter and, wow, I've been working through a huge feeling of "I can't believe it's almost over." It feels like I just began posting this story and it's so surreal that we'll be progressing through the final chapters. Sorry, no need to get sappy right now ━ I'll save that for later.
> 
> So, quite a few of you asked when Emily is going to put her ring back on and, well… just read ahead and find out. I promise your question will be answered.
> 
> Go on.

Emily rests atop their bed’s comforter as she watches the TV that resides against the wall. Nothing interesting is playing at the time being which is odd since it’s seven o’clock on a Saturday night. So, she continues to flip through the endless amount of channels as she listens to the sound of Alison working out in the other room because, well, the past two days haven’t provided them with any sort of release when it comes to their frustrations so, instead, the blonde has been trying to focus herself on something else. Obviously, it’s not like the brunette hasn’t  _ suggested  _ things, but, of course, she’s met with the statement  _ “I just want it to be perfect” _ time and time again ━ or they just get interrupted.

It’s weird, on the other hand, because the last two days have been extremely emotional for both of them ━ in every sense. 

The morning after Hanna showed up, Emily opened her eyes and straightened her back to find the blondes cuddling extremely close with Hanna’s arm draped over Alison’s stomach. Alison, at one point, must have stretched out her arm because, when the brunette looked closer, the girl was actually  _ holding  _ Hanna. In response, once the two fully woke up to join Emily in the kitchen, they were teased endlessly, and the smug brunette earned a few slaps and playful kicks as she chuckled at their embarrassment. 

_ “That probably explains why I slept so well,” Hanna makes a face and looks away with a small laugh.  _

_ “I’ll take that as a compliment,” Alison steals Emily’s piece of toast and walks away from the brunette who continues to hold up her hand since she was about to take a bite.  _

_ Hanna sticks her tongue out at Alison who sits across the table, earning a chuckle. _

As they were sitting around, Hanna’s phone began to ring with Caleb’s name popping up and she groaned with a  _ “Do I have to answer it?”  _ Emily, in response, furrowed her eyebrows with an obvious _ “No, not if you don’t want to, but maybe talking will be good for you two.”  _ Eventually, she walked out of the room and answered the call. While she was gone, Alison sauntered over to Emily and began kissing the girl’s lips but, once she walked away, she heard a mumbled  _ “I wanted that toast” _ and laughed until Hanna re-entered the kitchen.

_ “Okay,” she sighs, “we’re meeting up at an old restaurant we used to go to, so I should probably head out.” _

_ “Are you okay?” Alison looks at the other girl. _

_ “I guess,” comes the shrug. “Just drained, really.” _

_ “Call us if you need anything else. You can always stay here,” Emily speaks next. _

_ “But I can’t guarantee that I’ll always sleep on the floor with you two,” Alison intervenes and Hanna rolls her eyes. _

_ “Thank you both so much. Really,” Hanna offers them individual smiles. “I know that we didn’t get off on the right foot after everything, but━” _

_ “Hanna,” the other blonde interrupts, “go and see Caleb. That’s more important.” _

And, with that, Hanna left, which meant that Emily and Alison were alone ━ at least until Alison’s midday self-defense class which  _ completely  _ derailed the entire mood that they were drumming up.

_ “Fuck,” Alison moans as she feels Emily’s lips trailing down her neck, though she’s the one hovering above the girl because, initially, she was attempting to frustrate the brunette beyond belief but of course━ _

_ “Fuck,” she practically squeaks as she pushes herself away from the other girl and rolls off the bed in one, swift motion.  _

_ “What?” Emily sits up, wide-eyed and panicked which, honestly, Alison snorts at because of the expression and, in response, the brunette frowns with another “Really, what?”  _

_ “Do you see what time it is?!” the other girl runs into her closet so she can rummage through her (finally unlocked) drawers. _

_ “It’s seven minutes before three, why?”  _

_ Alison waits a moment, allowing the other girl’s thoughts to catch up, and that’s when she finally hears an understanding and elongated “Oh” come from Emily who runs a hand through her hair. When the blonde rushes out of her closet wearing one of her favorite, breathable outfits, she nearly runs straight into the girl who stands in the middle of the room. Alison tries to move around Emily but the brunette steps with her, and that’s when the girl’s faced with an extremely fierce glare.  _

_ “I’ll start today’s lesson right now if you don’t let me leave,” she deadpans while Emily can’t keep an expressionless face. _

_ “Okay, fine. Just give me a kiss goodbye.”  _

_ The other girl happily complies, humming into the short kiss followed by a quick “I’ll be back later. Don’t miss me too much.” _

_ “I love you,” Emily gets out before the other girl can run out of the room and Alison nearly falls forward when she stops dead in her tracks. _

_ In response, Alison turns around and approaches the girl again, grabbing her by the shirt and pulling her into an even deeper kiss which lasts longer than intended. Finally, she tears herself away with a sweet “I love you too” and, before the brunette can open her eyes, Alison leaves, ending with Emily shouting a quick “Be safe.” _

Alison got home around 6 P.M. that day and, once again, she walked into the kitchen to find Emily hard at work, furiously typing away at some work-related document. Truly, she planned on walking in and going straight to distracting the other girl but, upon seeing the brunette’s determined and focused expression, she smiled and moved over to the fridge in order to grab some water. Eventually, Emily took a deep breath and leaned back in the kitchen chair, rubbing at her eyelids as she groaned. Alison snickered at the blatant exhaustion, causing the other girl to jump with a  _ “Jesus, Alison. I didn’t hear you come in,”  _ which earned a raised eyebrow and the comment  _ “Em, your laptop screen is practically pointed at the kitchen’s entrance. You should have seen me come in.”  _ She shrugged and that’s when Alison walked over to sit in her lap. 

_ “Boring day without me?” Alison grins as she pushes a strand of hair behind the girl’s ear. _

_ Emily tilts her head and squints as if she’s thinking, earning a pair of narrowed, blue eyes looking back at her. The brunette smiles soon after, leaning forward in attempt to kiss the girl who moves away whilst still sitting. Emily frowns and Alison innocently blinks repeatedly. _

_ After a slight stare-down, the brunette smirks, “I know you want to kiss me,” and Alison shakes her head with a gentle laugh.  _

_ “Really?” the blonde raises an eyebrow. “Of all lines, you choose to use that one?” _

_ “Oh, so now we’re being picky?” Emily matches the expression. “Fine, maybe I won’t speak at all.” _

_ “That’s better,” Alison leans down and kisses the other girl, though the brunette is now pouting at the comment.  _

Eventually, when Alison tried to run upstairs in order to shower, Emily followed just as quick and attacked the girl with kisses and gentle bites along her neck and shoulder area. Alison turned around soon after, ready to just give into the other girl but, before she could, Emily’s phone rang and she let out an elongated whine while pulling the device out of her pocket. Upon answering, they heard Spencer’s voice float through the speaker and the two were met with the news of her and Toby’s engagement. 

_ “That’s great, Spence,” Emily and Alison both sit on the edge of the mattress as the brunette holds the phone while it’s on speaker.  _

_ “I know,” the other girl gets out. “He surprised me at dinner a couple of nights ago and I really wanted to tell all of you as fast as possible,” she pauses, “but I also wanted to know if you two would like to come out for dinner tonight. A double-date, sort of.” _

_ Emily and Alison share a look accompanied by a pair of agreeing shrugs. _

_ “Sure,” Emily speaks. “Where do you want to go?” _

In the end, the group of four met up at a restaurant residing in the absolute middle of their houses and the entire night went smoothly ━ much to everyone’s surprise. Sure, Toby wasn’t the most outgoing at first, but he seemed to warm up after a bit ━ especially to  _ Alison  _ who he spoke with for most of the outing. Spencer showed the two her ring, smiling big, and she shared hugs with both Emily and Alison who congratulated her (and Toby) repeatedly.

It wasn’t all extreme happiness, however, because Alison and Emily were hit with a huge wave of remembrance, even more so when the brunette looked down at her bare hands with pursed lips at one point during the night. Alison watched her and grabbed for her hand at the time, making sure to provide some sort of comfort and silent message telling the girl that there’s no rush. Emily forced a smile but, really, she began feeling pretty guilty, which is why Alison held her for the rest of the night, starting the minute they stepped foot into their bedroom. 

_ “Em, I really don’t want you to feel rushed,” Alison drags her nails along the other girl’s back as they sit on the edge of the mattress. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” _

_ “I know, but I still don’t want to make you wait,” Emily gets out and she feels the blonde’s lips press against her temple.  _

It’s not that she hasn’t made a decision whether or not she wants to call off the wedding for now ━ because she  _ has  _ ━ but, currently, the blonde is still waiting for answer and, honestly, Emily can’t say the words for whatever reason. It’s nerve-wracking, she assumes, because she’s felt as though they’re lovestruck teenagers again and, although it’s nice, she keeps getting the same, weird, butterfly-ish feeling in her stomach whenever she thinks about it.

Suddenly, the brunette remembers that today is Aria and Ezra’s anniversary, so she grabs for her phone and sends the girl a text:

_ “Ali and I wish you and Ezra a happy anniversary :)” _

After, she purses her lips and makes a grunting noise as her eyes stare at the ceiling. She thinks about Hanna’s text from before ━  _ “Caleb and I are renewing our vows!” _ ━ and bites her bottom lip because, really, is this week’s theme “marriage,” or what? Lately, she can’t stop thinking about her relationship with Alison and everything they’ve gone through to get to this point ━ both the good and the bad. Honestly, she’s been zoning out pretty bad and the blonde has studied her body language a time or two when Emily suddenly grew silent. Afterwards, the brunette usually shakes her head and blinks hard, forcing a smile at Alison who continues to narrow her eyes.

Emily stares at the TV in front of her, biting her bottom lip as she begins to get distracted again, this time getting lost in the memory of when they first defined their relationship.

_ “Em, can we talk?” Alison suddenly turns to the brunette, facing her as they sit along the room’s lone couch. _

_ “Um,” Emily clears her throat and swallows hard, feeling strangely nervous so abruptly, “sure. About what?” _

_ “Us.” _

_ “Oh,” it’s barely audible, but Alison can make out the response and she rubs her lips together as she looks at her hands. _

_ “You know I’m, um,” the blonde gets out a small laugh, “not the best at talking about my feelings.” _

_ No response. _

_ She continues, “But I know that I can’t keep shoving them away, Em. I don’t think you can, either.” _

_ Emily’s eyes meet Alison’s, feeling caught off-guard by the entire subject. _

_ “I don’t…” the brunette trails off, looking away, “I don’t know what to say, Ali. We’ve talked about this before and━” _

_ “We always dance around the topic, Emily. I just… I’m sick of it,” her voice comes out like a whine and the other girl stares at her through a shaky focus. _

_ Alison continues again, “I’m so tired of not admitting anything just so we can save our friendship. I’m exhausted. All I want is to kiss you and feel… wanted,” she emphasises. _

_ Silence fills the space quickly and Emily looks as if she’s weighing her options as her eyes dart along the cushion that separates them. Alison watches her with a creased forehead, not knowing how else to explain her position because, for a while, they’ve been attempting to discuss whatever they are since they’ve found themselves in multiple, abrupt lip-locks, but they haven’t been able to get anywhere substantial because Emily always brings up a bunch of “what if” scenarios. _

_ “What if it doesn’t work out?” comes the first of the night, followed by the second, “What if… we just fall apart and then we don’t have anyone, Alison?” _

_ “Stop, Emily,” instead of sounding angry, the blonde’s voice cracks slightly and she’s pleading with the girl who looks taken aback by the sound. _

_ “I know that you’re nervous and, I promise, it’s valid. Honestly,” again, she lets out a nervous laugh, “I’m terrified, but I can’t just pretend that…” her voice trails off and her body language looks conflicted. _

_ “Even before I left…” she shakes her head and suddenly Emily’s head tilts to the side because the blonde rarely talks about anything before her disappearance, “I always made you think that your feelings for me were totally one-sided. That wasn’t true.” _

_ The brunette’s lips part and she stares at her with slightly narrowed eyes, waiting for the other girl to continue as blue eyes search the space dividing them. _

_ “Those kisses weren’t just for practice,” she confesses, finally looking at Emily who almost sucks in a sharp inhale at the weight of the words. _

After that, they had spent a few more hours discussing everything. They laid down every feeling that they possibly could through nervous glances and shaky words, but, that same night, the two girls finally understood that they couldn’t run away from whatever internal battles they were facing at the time ━ or  _ any  _ time. It was strenuous, especially because the brunette still felt as though she’d possibly lose the other girl within months, but it was worth it in the end and Emily smiles at the memory as she shifts along the comforter.

The girl begins to rub at her eyelids as Alison continues to ( _ loudly _ ) take her frustrations out on the bag in the other room and that’s when Emily forces herself out of bed, followed by a short stretching period as her back cracks. She grimaces at the sound, but her eyes glance at her phone which lights up with a text from Aria:

_ “Thanks for remembering, you guys :) Hope to see you soon.” _

Emily smiles at the text before throwing it back onto the mattress and walking away. She slowly makes her way across the hall, towards the source of the kicking noises, and her hand pushes the door open slightly to see the other girl looking sticky and━

“Yes?” Alison narrows her eyes with a smirk when she catches the girl staring at her with wide eyes. 

She shakes her head furiously and leans against the doorway, chuckling when Alison approaches her. The blonde moves even closer, ending up less than a foot away as the other girl eyes her nervously.

“Did you need something or did you come in here to watch?” comes Alison’s smug remark and Emily shifts her jaw with a smile as she tries to look away.

“Actually, I came to ask if you’d like to go out to dinner,” she attempts to focus on the girl’s eyes.

“Hmm, where?”

“It matters?” Emily raises an eyebrow.

“Well, no, but do I have to dress up?”

“I mean… you might want to change at least a little,” she looks down at Alison’s sports bra before forcing her eyes back upwards. 

“Okay. When do you want to go?” 

“As soon as possible,” she deadpans. “I’m starving.”

“Fine,” Alison picks up a nearby towel before approaching the girl even more, licking her lips as her chest brushes against the brunette who doesn’t leave the doorway. 

Emily purses her lips and looks at the ceiling, almost like she’s praying that she doesn’t pass out sometime during the next few hours. Without any more hesitation, she crosses her arms and follows the other girl into their bedroom so they can get ready.

 

X X X

 

Emily’s car pulls up to a familiar setting: her own, recently renovated bar. Sometime during the ride, she had decided (without telling the girl) to show Alison around the completed space since she hasn’t before. Over the course of the last few months, the brunette has worked with various different contractors and designers every now and then in order to get things done a little at a time. For the most part, however, she handed the torch over to her best bartender, Roman, since he has a better eye for design than she does. At first, she had asked Alison if she wanted to assist, but neither of them knew what “aesthetic” would fit the moderately-sized pub, so Roman took over and basked in the feeling of being “the boss.”

Additionally, Emily has recently hired a few new waitresses and bartenders, creating a bigger family in her tight-knit “company.” Overall, she’s happy with the progress and even bumped up Roman’s salary after all of his hard work ━ not to mention the fact that he allowed the brunette to confide in him during her and Alison’s recent…  _ situation _ , though she was reluctant at first.

The brunette cuts the engine and begins to unbuckle, eventually stopping when she sees a pair of blue eyes staring at her, eyebrow raised with an enthusiastic expression covering her face. 

“What?” Emily smiles as she laughs.

“Oh, nothing,” Alison shrugs. “I just didn’t think you’d be taking me to  _ your  _ bar for a date.”

“Who said this is a date?” she challenges.

Alison leans over the center console and smiles as her eyes drift down to glance at Emily’s lips, locking with the brunette’s brown eyes soon afterwards.

“I did,” the blonde dares before opening her car door and getting out.

Emily’s eyes follow the other girl as she slides out of the passenger’s seat and, once again, she takes in a deep breath so she can, hopefully, make it through the rest of the evening.

Alison stands outside the car, fixing her tight jeans and button-up shirt as she looks up at the newly-installed, metal sign. She smiles at the fact that, even though an entire year has passed, Emily hasn’t changed the pub’s name and it still remains the original, bland _ “Hollow Street’s Pub.”  _ The sign, however, is beautifully rustic and, when Emily looks at her with a curious, “what do you think?” kind of hum, Alison nods with raised eyebrows before grabbing for the other girl’s hand and walking inside.

Once they enter, the scent of fresh, pub-style food fills their nostrils and Alison takes in the new decor ━ well, what she can see through the crowd of people. Before the renovations, the place was lacking variety when it came to seating; if you wanted to sit down at an actual table, the only choice was a small, round table with four padded chairs. Now, Alison notes that there are tables (some smaller and some bigger) in addition to multiple booths and the standard barstools tucked into the sleek, wood and metal bar. Various, scattered decorations line the walls, some looking rustic whereas others are more “sporty” (to appease the middle-age crowd) and the place, overall, looks beautiful. Once again, when the brunette faces the girl who’s holding onto her hand, she earns an impressed head nod and they both smile. 

“Well, look who it is,” Roman stands behind the bar and smiles big at the two who approach after weaving through an assortment of bar-goers.

“You  _ just  _ saw me the other━”

“I meant Alison,” he interrupts Emily and the brunette narrows her eyes at her employee.

Alison smirks when she looks at Emily, noting the fact that Roman has always had a great relationship with everyone he comes into contact with. In fact, he’s the main reason why Alison and Emily agreed to use their actual names around the establishment (including with all other employees) ━ not that they told anyone the entire story. 

_ “Wait, your name is Vivian, but your nickname is Alison…?” the man narrows his eyes with a smile. “I must be missing something because that doesn’t add up.” _

_ “It’s a childhood name kind of thing,” Alison shrugs. “Hard to explain.” _

The blonde turns her attention back to the big-boned, tall, tanned bartender who looks between the two curiously, noting the random silence that came out of absolutely nowhere.

“You did a great job designing this place,” Alison looks around.

Emily hums in agreement. 

“Thank you,” he beams. “I figured that things would be better off if we kept everything pretty basic.”

Again, the brunette hums and Alison rolls her eyes.

“Did you need something?” Roman directs the question at Emily who smiles and shakes her head.

“No, we actually came to eat.”

Roman snorts with a laugh while Emily furrows her eyebrows. 

“What?”

“You took Alison on a date to your own bar?”

“See,” the blonde looks at the other girl with wide eyes. 

“What’s the problem with that?” she practically squeaks out, causing both Alison and Roman to laugh.

“I’m with Em on this one,” a waitress whom Alison has never seen before emerges from the kitchen area and the blonde raises her eyebrows because, really, she’s pretty damn attractive and Emily failed to mention anything about this girl. 

Suddenly, her blue eyes bore into Emily’s temple but the brunette doesn’t notice as she ushers them over to a nearby, two-person table. Once seated, Alison continues to stare at Emily with an accusatory expression covering her face and the other girl only catches on after an entire, silent minute. 

“What?”

Before Alison can respond, the new, attractive employee pauses next to the two with a small notepad and beaming smile.

“I think going on a date to your own bar is great, by the way,” the girl chuckles and Emily looks at Alison who seems unreadable at the moment. 

“How are things? Getting the hang of it?” Emily asks the blonde waitress, earning a reassuring head-nod. 

“Yeah, I think I’m doing much better than a few nights ago. Roman’s been great at helping out.”

“He usually is,” the brunette chuckles. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re feeling up to it.”

Meanwhile, Alison watches the interaction like a hawk, noting Emily’s body language and smile. Over the years, she’s learned to detect flirting, especially coming from the brunette’s mouth because, quite a few times, it’s happened ━ and she was  _ not  _ a happy camper.

“Mhm,” she hums before turning to the blonde seated across from her boss, “and you must be Alison.”

“That’s me,” Alison tries to be genuinely friendly, earning a smile from Emily.

“ _ Mhm _ ,” the girl lets out an exaggerated hum while looking at Emily and the brunette blushes furiously as she looks away.

Alison, on the other hand, looks at Emily and chuckles when realizing that she’s likely spilled a few too many stories about their relationship and, now, she looks back to the waitress with curious, narrowed eyes. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” the waitress half-whispers to Alison with a smirk as Emily clears her throat with a curt “I’m ready to order.” 

“Right, right,” the girl giggles. “What would you like?” she adjusts the small notepad in her hand.

“I just want a Coke and chicken tenders, please,” Emily laughs at her choice and Alison rolls her eyes at the girl who seems so amused by the weirdest things.

“And for you?” the waitress eyes Alison.

“Same,” she shrugs and the brunette narrows her eyes.

“Alrighty,” and, with that, the waitress leaves with a smile.

“Copy cat,” Emily mumbles once the other blonde is gone and Alison laughs.

“I wanted the same thing.”

“Sure.”

“I wasn’t going to be the only one drinking and you guys have the best chicken,” she explains as she leans back with crossed arms.

“ _ Copy cat _ ,” Emily sings.

“Whatever.”

They stare at one another for an entire minute, smiles growing ever so slightly with each passing second, and then Alison clears her throat before regaining her “more serious” expression from before. When she goes to speak, however, she’s interrupted by the waitress placing their drinks onto the table with a cheery “Here you go” before walking away again. 

“So, who’s the new girl?”

“That’s Eliza. One of our new waitresses.”

“Are all of your new waitresses super attractive?” she takes a sip of her drink and Emily’s lips part before she breathes out a laugh while looking away.

Alison sits back with raised eyebrows, “I don’t hear you denying it.”

“Alison, you know I’m yours,” Emily grins at the girl who stares at her with the same expression.

“Are you?” 

“Mhm,” the brunette hums and her eyes briefly flicker to the other girl’s lips ━ which Alison doesn’t miss at all.

In response, Alison licks her lips and looks away, careful not to let her thoughts roam too much because, really, a ton of people are surrounding them and it’s just not the time to get lost in any not-so-innocent imaginative things. 

“Good,” she settles on saying, “but I’m not happy about these new waitresses.”

Emily rolls her eyes, “You’ll get over it.”

“Will I?”

“No, probably not, but you  _ should  _ because they’re  _ employees _ .” 

After another, silent stare-down, Alison relents with a soft “Fine” before periodically sipping on her drink.

Internally, Emily smiles because, honestly, she’s happy that she’s not the only jealous one ━ not to say that the blonde’s jealousy hasn’t shown before. Lately, the brunette has felt as though she’s the only one feeling threatened and it’s shitty because her confidence has been slipping through her fingers ━ or so it seems. Tonight, however, Alison is proving her wrong, especially because the girl’s blue eyes narrow whenever Eliza stands near the bar and even more so when the girl comes over to put their food down onto the table.

“She’s a nice girl. Stop glaring,” Emily takes a bite of her food while smiling when the blonde shifts her jaw.

“I know she’s nice, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Ali,” her smile turns into a smirk.

“ _ Dramatic _ ? No. Do you  _ really  _ want to see dramatic?”

“No, I don’t. Eat your food so we can go home,” Emily laughs harder when Alison pouts and stabs at her chicken tenders.

“Some date you are,” comes the mumble. 

“I’m not the one who’s about to fight any and every waitress.”

“Well, then maybe you should hire some uglier staff… or men. I’m sure Roman would love that.”

“He has a girlfriend right now.”

Alison chuckles, “What happened to his boyfriend?”

“Ali, they’ve been broken up for at least three months now.”

“I haven’t been here in a while!” she defends herself.

“And that’s why I brought you here tonight.”

Alison makes a face whilst silently mocking the other girl and Emily rolls her eyes as she finishes her food. Looking around, the brunette smiles at everyone who seems to be enjoying themselves and she even spots a few regulars who smile back at her with slight waves. Alison watches the girl across from her, grinning softly at the fact that the brunette actually seems happy and, after everything that’s happened, it’s fantastic.

“You seem happy,” Alison’s eyes are soft and the other girl lets a shy smile cross her features when she turns back to the blonde.

Emily nods with a growing smile, “I am.”

“You deserve it.”

A few seconds of silent staring pass by until the brunette says, “So do you,” and Alison swears that Emily glances down at her ring-adorned finger before trying her hardest to look away as quick as she can.

Blushing, Alison looks at Emily’s hand in curiosity, but she finds no ring and her heart sinks a little even though they’re still “not rushing” things.

Once Eliza comes back, Emily quickly pays for their meals (on an exceptional discount) and mutters a quick “I’ll be right back” to Alison who watches the brunette disappear into her office located towards the back of the pub.

Overall, Alison thinks, their date has gone pretty smoothly ━ considering the fact that they’ve been super handsy and nothing-but-tension as of late ━ and she’s happy that they decided to get out tonight. Even though she’s still pretty jealous of the fact that Emily hired some beautiful waitresses, she knows that, at the end of the day, the brunette is coming home to her and, really, she doesn’t even go into work all that much. She smiles at the thought and, soon enough, five minutes pass before she gets up and walks over to the bar.

“You can go back there, if you want,” Roman nods to Alison from across the bar. “She’s just scanning through some files.”

Alison smiles at the man before sashaying through the space behind the counter, eventually ending up in the doorway of Emily’s office. She notes the various pictures of them hung along the wall and a few of their group of five from when they were pretty damn young. Her smile grows and that’s when she knocks on the brunette’s office door, earning a pair of curious brown eyes when Emily finally looks up.

“Sorry, I didn’t think it would take this long,” she shakes her head as she flips through a few papers while sitting in a leather, spinning chair.

“It’s fine,” Alison shrugs as she leans against the doorway.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Emily asks absentmindedly as she looks at a specific paper, making a face at the writing before going through a few more packets.

“Actually,” Alison smirks as she closes the door behind her, “I have a small complaint and I’d like to speak to the owner.”

Emily stares at the desk in front of her, but her eyes widen once she hears her office door latch and her attention wavers while Alison approaches more and more. When the brunette doesn’t look up, the other girl forcefully clears her throat and that’s when she’s met with those brown eyes.

“Okay,” Emily swallows hard, “I’m listening.”

When the girl’s gaze seems to avoid making solid eye contact, Alison slightly bends over and puts her hands on Emily’s knees, her mouth curved into that same, “up to no good” smirk, and the brunette’s attention drifts downwards repeatedly. 

“Eyes are up here,” Alison smiles and Emily nervously complies.

“What’s your complaint?”

“There’s too many people and I barely got any alone time with you,” she pouts before licking her lips.

“So,” Alison stands up and moves Emily’s chair a bit so she can sit in the girl’s lap, eventually wrapping her right arm around the brunette's shoulders, “I think you should do something about that.”

Emily doesn’t respond. In fact, she can’t exactly formulate any sort of rebuttal once she feels Alison’s thumb rubbing back and forth along her bottom lip, so she kisses the pad of the girl’s finger and that’s when the blonde leans down to kiss her gently. 

“Do you want to go home?” the brunette half-asks, half-suggests and Alison nods before giving her another peck on the lips. 

Before Alison can stand up, Roman opens the door after a swift knock and he smirks when he sees the two’s position. 

“Hm, I never pegged you as the roleplaying-boss type,” he chuckles and Alison nearly chokes as she stands up. 

“Don’t forget that I sign your checks,” Emily bitterly smiles and shoots the response at Roman who raises his hands in surrender.

When he doesn’t leave, the brunette raises an eyebrow as she puts the papers away, “Did you need something?”

“No, but you’ve been in here for a while and I just wanted to make sure Alison didn’t kill you.”

The blonde looks at him with narrowed eyes and he tilts his head, “What? I saw the way you looked at her when Eliza walked out of the back room. Don’t give me that.”

Finally, she shrugs in slight admittance and Roman leaves the room with a curt humming noise. Emily walks over the door with Alison in tow, turning around once more.

“Ready to go?”

“Mhm,” the blonde nods before intertwining their fingers like previously and, with that, they say their goodbyes and head out. 

 

X X X

 

“I’m heading upstairs to get comfortable,” Alison sways her hips as she tosses her purse onto the kitchen island. 

“Are you coming with me?” the blonde turns around and cups the other girl’s face, kissing her on the lips for a split second.

“Mm,” Emily hums into another kiss, “I have to do a few things before I get comfortable.”

Alison looks at her skeptically but nods a few seconds later. As she walks away, she holds onto the other girl’s hand until she can’t anymore and Emily chuckles at the blonde who grunts when she begins to ascend the staircase.

Emily sits down at the kitchen table, absentmindedly biting her bottom lip as she opens her laptop to see that same, damn, smiling picture of the two of them and she can’t stop herself from grinning at the screensaver. So, before she gets too sucked into her memories, she quickly finds the file she needs to write in and her fingers glide along the keyboard for an extended period of time until she’s finally finished. After, she exits the document and scans her emails but, soon enough, a faint sparkle to the side of the table catches her eye and she tries her hardest to ignore it but can’t. Closing her email, Emily reaches over to the side of the table and picks up the lonely engagement ring, swallowing hard when she feels the cool material against her two finger tips. A smile graces her face soon after, but it’s more of a nervous smile, and a few tears spring into her eyes as she looks closely, remembering the inside engraving: _ “How about forever?”  _

“Whatcha doing?” Alison descends the final step, smiling softly as she sees Emily trying to recover from the tiny scare. 

The brunette pushes some stray hairs behind her ear, stuffs the ring into the palm of her hand before making a fist, and pretends to click around on the computer once more. Alison’s smile grows, but she doesn’t push it as she stands near the girl who, finally, shuts her laptop and faces the blonde.

“Sorry, I was checking something.” 

“Mhm,” Alison hums and takes Emily’s hands, swaying them. 

After a few shy smiles and periods of eye contact, Emily huffs and stands up with the ring in her hand.

“I’m going to get changed,” she forces a smile and Alison raises an eyebrow.

As she tries to walk away, the blonde turns around with crossed arms and a knowing smile.

“Are you going to put it back on?” 

Emily stops in her tracks and Alison can practically hear the other girl panic before she finally turns around. When she does, however, she’s wearing a tiny smile and Alison’s own smile grows as she waits for an answer. The brunette opens and closes her mouth a few times, breathing out a laugh when she can’t seem to find any words but, eventually, she answers.

“Yes,” is her initial response and her smile grows heavily when Alison seems taken aback, her old “I caught you” kind of smile falling from her face as it’s replaced with wide, surprised eyes. 

When the blonde doesn’t react with anything more than a shocked expression, the other girl approaches her casually, getting as close as possible before reaching out and grabbing Alison’s hand. While her eyes never leave Alison’s, Emily places the ring into the girl’s palm and closes her hand so she’s holding onto the piece of metal, and the blonde girl looks down in confusion. 

She looks back up, lips parted with furrowed eyebrows, and that’s when Emily leans forward while whispering, “But, first, you’re going to need it back.” 

Before Alison can react, Emily presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth and disappears up the stairs, leaving a dumbfounded, shocked, and slightly panic-stricken Alison standing in the middle of the kitchen with Emily’s engagement ring in hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is a low-key form of payback in Emily's mind; sure, she'll wear the ring, but it's time for a do-over and she's not going to wear it without one more proposal. Nothing is simple with these two, never forget that, and Emily is prepared to be a little shit now that she's feeling much more confident in their relationship.
> 
> Sometimes I wish I could pause chapters and insert middle author's notes for ya'll because, like in this chapter, shit seems to heat up real quick and occasionally I just want to be like "*insert smirk emoji here*" but, of course, I can't… so just pretend, okay?
> 
> A lot of things happened in this chapter. First, we see Emily being consumed by her thoughts for the first however-many thousands of words (including one of my favorite, older flashbacks). Next, we learn that Haleb is getting better (and renewing their vows), Ezria is still going strong, and Spoby is finally engaged. All concepts that, ultimately, shove Emily into her "okay, I have to do something about this" mindset.
> 
> Side note: Hmm, this blonde, Eliza chick seems eerily familiar… hmm.
> 
> But, anyway, next chapter is going to be satisfying (without sound too creepy) and we'll get shit done. After next update, we only have Ch. 20 and the epilogue before it's finally finished. Worry not, however, because I'll be providing you with (at the very least) a time-range of when you can expect my new story to be out.
> 
> Next update: Thursday.
> 
> New story hint: Here's the summary ━ "[AU] After drifting apart during high school, Emily and Alison reluctantly re-meet and drunkenly get themselves into a sticky situation six years later. Too defiant to fix what happened, the two girls fight to gain the upper hand as they fall into a game of "let's see who submits first" ━ that is… until old feelings catch up to them." ━ What do ya think? Remember, I'm going with some freakin' awesome clichés and, honestly, I'm really excited for you to read the story. It'll be (somewhat) a slow-burn which, I know, it's tedious but I promise it's so, so satisfying. I actually just finished up a 9.2K chapter last night (all written last night, thank you) and, man, it's probably my favorite in a while. So beautiful. 
> 
> Again, thanks for everything, love you, blah blah blah, review, comment, hate me, admire me, whatever. I'll see you soon.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can almost taste the weekend…
> 
> What's everyone been up to? I've been working as a writing powerhouse for days. Each night, I get at least 5K+ words done for you fine people which means the new story is moving along with ease.
> 
> Update on my pup: Her leg seems to be healing. She puts weight on it now and she's back to her happy self (and pain-in-the-ass self). Autumn thanks you for the good vibes and support.
> 
> Let's get to it.

Alison paces back and forth throughout Hanna’s office as said blonde sits back in her chair, arms crossed as she stares at the other girl. Every now and then, Hanna clears her throat and Alison stops to look at her but, otherwise, the nervous blonde just keeps biting her thumbnail as she walks in a sharp circle, barely blinking. She’s been this way for at least fifteen minutes now and Hanna has repeatedly wondered whether or not the other girl is ever going to get tired or actually _sit down_.

A day or two ago, Alison had called Hanna in hopes that they could meet up sometime to discuss whether or not it would be a good idea to re-propose to Emily so soon and, when the blonde on the other line choked out a blunt _“Duh,”_ Alison rubbed her head as they penciled in some plans to talk in person. So, today, the brunette (thankfully) had to go into work for inspection followed by a lengthy “quiz” (as per her words) to see if her employees are still doing their jobs. It’s Friday and Alison had to teach a two-hour-long self-defense class whilst being a nervous wreck, but, afterwards, she showered as quickly as possible and sped over to Hanna’s office.

It’s not like she hasn’t been a pile of nerves for a while, however. After Emily so delicately wrapped Alison’s fist around the ring, smirked, and disappeared upstairs, the blonde stood in the kitchen, motionless, for minutes on end. Before that, she was ready to pounce on the brunette for the first time in a long time but, after Emily’s little stunt, she couldn’t even formulate a full sentence ━ which the other girl laughed at her for.

_“Have I ever told you how cute you are when you’re nervous?” Emily grins at the stuttering blonde who attempts to discuss a TV show’s plot._

_They sit closely ━ A.K.A. Emily is literally pressed against the other girl who swallows hard ━ and the brunette’s brown eyes constantly flicker down to Alison’s lips._

_“I’m not nervous,” she gets out and Emily rolls her eyes._

_“Alison, we’ve been together for… how many years?” comes the rhetorical question. “Trust me, I know when you’re nervous.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“Whatever you say,” Emily leans in to kiss the girl on the corner of her mouth but, as she moves closer, Alison tilts in the opposite direction._

_“Ali,” the brunette glares with a slight smile, knowing full well that Alison is likely throwing a silent tantrum just because she’s been one-upped._

_“Hm?”_

_“Don’t avoid me.”_

Hanna suddenly claps to break Alison out of her trance and the standing girl breathes out as she holds a hand over her chest.

“ _Jeez_ , Hanna,” she finally throws herself into one of the planner’s client chairs.

“Did you hear _anything_ I said?”

“You said something?”

“Alison,” the other girl groans, “why are you being so panicky?”

“Because!” Alison stands up.

“Don’t you dare start pacing again. You’re going to ruin my expensive rug.”

The other girl looks down with narrowed eyes while Hanna remains pointing a finger at her. After a small eye-roll, Alison sits back down and rubs at her eyes. The other girl snorts at the dramatics and a glare is sent her way not even a second after.

“Don’t give me that look, Alison. You’re being dramatic.”

“You’ve never had to propose to someone!” her eyes widen. “ _Twice_!”

“ _Okay_ ,” Hanna nods, “but I’ve been on the other end of it and that’s not much better. Granted, I’m sure it’s much different, but she’s probably anxiously waiting, Ali.”

There’s silence as Alison chews her inner cheek.

Hanna continues, “If she gave you back the ring while saying you’re going to need it, then it’s because she _wants_ you to use it.”

“What if she doesn’t━”

“Oh my God, if you so much as _imply_ that she doesn’t want to marry you, I may kill you before you even get to ask her.”

“Hanna,” Alison whines, “this is serious.”

“What, and you think I’m kidding?”

The other girl rolls her eyes.

“You know,” Hanna continues, “I don’t remember you being this whiny.”

Alison glares at the other blonde who tilts her head in a “what are you gonna do?” kind of way, then looks away with a sigh as she plays with her own ring.

“So, you don’t think it’s too soon?” comes Alison’s next question and the other girl’s expression falls because she’s been asked this question at least ten times during this one visit.

“No, Alison. I haven’t changed my mind since the last time you asked,” Hanna raises an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes out. “I’m just…”

“Nervous?”

Alison crosses her arms and tries to ignore the accusation, though it’s entirely correct and they both know it ━ not to mention the fact that Emily, herself, knows it.

“She’s going to say yes, Ali, and then you two will likely do whatever gross things you two do, and then you’ll be back here within days so we can get a fresh start on this planning.”

“Ew,” the other girl chuckles at Hanna’s bluntness when it comes to her sex life.

“I know. I got a gross taste in my mouth after mentioning it. My innocent Emily…”

“Why does everyone think she’s the innocent one?”

“I didn’t need to hear that,” Hanna shakes her head and moves her hands around as if she’s clearing the air of the entire topic.

Alison smirks and that’s when she’s glared at with another noise of disgust.

“I’m just saying,” Hanna continues, “it’s going to go well. What’s your plan?”

“Um,” the other girl swallows hard, “I’m just cooking dinner and we’ll go from there.”

“Are you good at cooking?”

“Yes, Hanna,” she rolls her eyes with a soft laugh.

Hanna raises her hands in surrender, “Just checking.”

“Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?”

“Mhm,” the blonde sitting behind the desk hums, “even Aria is coming in from Connecticut to join.”

“Connecticut is only like… two hours away. That’s not far,” she arches an eyebrow.

“Yeah but, after everything, it’s still surprising. All of it.”

Alison smiles softly, earning a mirrored expression from Hanna.

“It’s going to be extremely awkward if Emily━”

“She’s _not_ going to turn you down, Alison!”

“I’m just saying it’s possible.”

“No, it’s not,” Hanna rolls her eyes this time. “You two are practically attached at the hip. It makes me sick.”

“Does it really?”

“No, but I wish it did.”

Suddenly, Alison’s cell phone begins to ring and she furrows her eyebrows as she pulls the device out of her purse. When she sees it’s Emily calling, her lips part and she debates on answering it because, really, she’s _supposed_ to be home and the brunette could return home at any given time even though she said she’d be at work until later. So, when Hanna sees the other girl biting her bottom lip with a torn expression, she smirks and opens her laptop.

Finally, Alison answers the call, greeting the other girl with a sing-song “Hello?”

_“Hey, Ali,”_ she can almost hear Emily smiling on the other end, _“I just wanted to check in because we’re taking a break.”_

“Well, thank you for checking in,” Alison gives off a cheeky smile and Hanna makes an exaggerated gagging noise in the background which makes the other blonde’s eyes widen with a silent “shut up” look.

She continues, “How is everything? Did you fire anyone today?” a smirk crosses her features because she knows how anxious the girl gets when she has to let someone go ━ not that it’s really happened often.

_“No, but I almost told Roman to get out because he kept teasing me.”_

“About?” she asks, though she can formulate a pretty good guess on her own.

_“You,”_ and there it is.

“What about me?” her smirk from before returns, but it’s quickly disrupted when Hanna begins to blast some upbeat version of _“Here Comes The Bride”_ at her desk with a smug smile and choking laugh.

She waves at the other blonde frantically, nearly throwing the phone at Hanna who starts to cough when she sees Alison’s panicked expression. Eventually, Alison storms over to the laptop to slam it shut as Hanna tries to muffle her laughter and Emily is silent on the other line for what feels like an eternity.

_“What was that?”_ Emily’s voice finally comes back through the speaker and Alison slams her eyes shut as Hanna looks at her with a red face.

“The TV,” Alison shakes her head and shrugs, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so loud,” she practically growls.

_“It’s fine,”_ the brunette seems to buy the excuse, but then she adds in a quiet _“I’m sure it fits the occasion”_ and, suddenly, Alison panics even more than she was before because she can’t tell if Emily knows or if she’s just teasing; all in all, the statement is way too cryptic for the blonde’s massive headache and she wants to throw a fit and/or ask what Emily means, but she can’t.

_“I miss you,”_ Alison hears Emily’s voice come through the speaker once again and she smiles at the confession.

“I miss you too. Do you know when you’ll be home?”

_“Later.”_

“Gee, thanks, that helps,” comes her sarcastic response and Hanna snorts from her chair, laughing again when Alison flips her off.

_“Well, why do you need to know?”_ and, now, her panicking intensifies when she can’t come up with a decent lie.

She goes to respond (or likely stutter) but, before she can get a word out, Emily is groaning with an exhausted _“Damn, I need to get back. They’re all waiting for me.”_

“Aren’t you the boss?” Alison raises an eyebrow. “Can’t you just tell them to hold on?”

_“No, because if I take too long then I’ll get teased again,”_ she can almost hear the girl pouting.

“That’s not so bad. You enjoy being teased.”

“Ew,” Hanna comments as she plays with a piece of paper on her desk.

Alison covers the phone speaker, “Shut. Up,” and earns a face from the other blonde.

_“I’ll be home tonight. I really don’t know when.”_

“That’s okay,” Alison sighs. “I’ll be waiting.”

_“Good,”_ Emily matches the sigh. _“Okay. I love you.”_

“I love you too. Have a fun time.”

Before the blonde hangs up, she hears a groan from the other girl and then she puts the device back into her purse. Soon, her gaze lands on Hanna who wears a cheeky, devious smile and Alison scoffs as she crosses her arms.

“You _really_ lost your touch when it comes to lying,” Hanna makes a “tsk tsk” noise.

Alison ignores the comment and just narrows her eyes.

“And what’d she say that made you so speechless? Wait, actually, do I even _want_ to know?”

“She said ‘I’m sure it fits the occasion’ and I have no idea what the hell she meant. Did you tell her anything?”

“And spoil your plans so I miss out on seeing you run around like a headless chicken? No way.”

“I don’t know if I should thank you or not…”

“You’re welcome.”

“I said I don’t━”

“But you’re welcome, anyway,” Hanna cuts her off with a smile.

Alison falls silent, not having a rebuttal for the girl who seems to keep the upper hand no matter what.

“You know, I never pegged you as the submissive type,” the girl says absentmindedly and Alison’s eyebrows raise at the comment.

“Excuse me?” she laughs. “I am _not_ ━”

“Again, I don’t need to know, but I’m just saying.”

Alison crosses her arms and looks away with blushing cheeks.

Hanna chuckles, “I’m sure Emily likes it, though.”

“ _And_ I’m leaving,” Alison pushes herself off the chair and stands up, grabbing her purse immediately after.

She begins to walk away from Hanna who remains sitting behind her desk but, once she gets to the door, she hears the girl say, “I really hope everything goes according to plan, Ali. I’m sure it will, but just know that I’m in your corner.”

In turn, Alison smiles at the other blonde with a breathed out “Thank you” and walks away, making her way through the hallway, into the waiting room, and down the stairs so she can go home and get a jump on the night ahead.

 

X X X

 

She’s been frantically cleaning and preparing for tonight’s “plan” over the course of the past however many hours ━ or, to be more accurate, ever since she got home from Hanna’s office. Making tonight perfect has already been an extremely daunting task, especially when she couldn’t find anything “sexy yet casual” to wear (that hasn’t fallen to the floor already) and, well, Alison kind of… lost Emily’s ring sometime within the last few days.

_“What do you mean you lost it?” Aria squeaks through the phone speaker, having called Alison out of the blue to chat._

_“What do you mean what do I mean?! I lost it, Aria!”_

_“Okay, calm down,” the other girl breathes for the both of them since she’s been hearing slams come through the speaker for the last five minutes._

_She continues, “Where did you last have it?”_

_“In my hand. Nights ago. I was in a daze for hours after Emily decided to throw me for a loop,” Alison groans. “She’s such an ass. She probably did this purposely.”_

_Aria snickers and the blonde rolls her eyes at the sound._

_“You know what? No. Fuck the plan. She did this on purpose and━” she cuts herself off, “━okay, I found it.”_

Once she discovered the piece of jewelry on one of the living room end tables (which is where she first looked), she slid it into a visually-hidden pocket woven into her above-knee-length, navy blue, semi-casual dress before running upstairs to finish getting ready. It took another forty minutes of standing in front of the mirror while playing around with her hair until she used another extended period of time fixing the lace top of her dress. After, she took a deep breath while trying to pretend as though the butterflies in her stomach weren’t consuming her from where they still reside, and the blonde walked back into the bedroom in order to slide on a pair of high heels.

The rest of the night’s preparation wasn’t _that_ bad, especially because the food is already smelling great as Alison sips on some red wine while she waits in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter. Once the glass leaves her lips, she glances at the surface to make sure none of her red lipstick wore off just yet, afterwards rubbing her lips together. She brushes her side every now and then, casually making sure the ring is still in its safe spot. A content sigh is released whenever she feels that the piece of jewelry is secure, but she nearly chokes on her drink when she realizes that she’s about to propose for the second time. _“What if Emily says no, even as a joke?”_ Alison huffs at the thought as she slams her eyes shut and shakes her head; she wouldn’t put it past Emily to do something like that, even if the moment is insanely intimate.

It’s currently 7:24 P.M. and the three candles that Alison had previously lit remain flickering on the kitchen table. She smiles at the thought, hoping that everything makes the night feel as though it mirrors their _first_ engagement night. On the other hand, what if Emily doesn’t want it to feel like their first engagement? What if━

The front door swings open and Alison hears a small grunt coming from the brunette who enters the kitchen with narrowed eyes and a soft smile.

“Mhm,” Emily hums in satisfaction as she approaches the girl who places her wine glass onto the counter nearby.

Alison watches the brunette’s eyes drift downwards, raking her outfit with parted lips and a lustful gaze. She laughs at the love drunk expression, arching an eyebrow at Emily who finally stands only a foot away.

“Is this your reason for wanting to know when I’d be home?” comes the playful assumption and Alison blushes as she tries to look away.

“Maybe.”

“Hmm,” her brown eyes narrow, “I think so.”

Their lips connect seconds later and Emily sighs into the kiss as she pushes the other girl against the counter. Although Alison wants to melt into the lip-lock further, she doesn’t want to derail any of her plans (or burn the damn food), so she puts some distance between their bodies after one last peck, and slides out of the trapped space between Emily and the counter.

“Should I go get dressed up?” Emily only half-jokes and Alison hesitates for a moment because, really, she doesn’t exactly care what the other girl is wearing, but she doesn’t want the brunette to feel uncomfortable not being as dressed-up even though the blonde, herself, doesn’t look all that formal.

“Whatever you feel most comfortable in,” she settles on saying and Emily raises her eyebrows at the comment.

The brunette looks down at her clothes; she’s wearing a dark-grey button-up with rolled sleeves and black jeans. In the end, she walks into the bathroom as Alison looks at the door curiously and, when she emerges, a few top buttons are undone, revealing a piece of her tank top, plus her hair is a bit more “fixed up” than when she first walked in. Alison chuckles at Emily who flashes her a cheesy smile, soon sitting down at the kitchen table as she looks back at the blonde with an expectant expression.

“Well?”

“Well what?” Alison moves over to the stove so she can finish preparing their dinner.

Emily emphatically glances at the food near where Alison stands.

“What makes you think that I’m going to serve you?” she challenges.

“It’s a special occasion, isn’t it?” Emily fights back and Alison swallows hard as she quickly faces the stove again, careful not to give anything away.

She can practically feel Emily smiling hard behind her and rolls her eyes at the image because it’s not fair, and there’s no way that she can make tonight a surprise, so she ultimately decides to play Emily’s game.

“Mhm,” Alison hums as she begins putting together two plates of chicken and vegetables ━ one of Emily’s favorites.

“What’s the occasion?”

“If you know that it’s a special occasion, then you should know what that occasion is,” she smiles to herself when she hears the brunette grunt.

Once their plates are full, Alison brings the two dishes to the table and sets one down in front of the other girl, earning an impressed “You know, the entire neighborhood smells delicious right now.”

Alison, in response, smiles at the compliment and jokes, “I’m sure it’ll be better than your pub’s chicken tenders.”

“Mm, I think that _may_ be a stretch,” Emily teases and Alison shakes her head.

When the brunette finally takes a bite, the other girl shyly watches her with a timid “Is it okay?”

“Ali, you know I love your cooking,” she smiles while continuing to eat. “It’s far beyond _okay_.”

“Good.”

They eat in silence with occasional, blushing eye contact and Alison clears her throat when Emily lustfully stares at her for a little too long. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy being not-so-subtly admired, but she wants to finish eating so they can get on with the rest of the night ━ and it’s not just because her shoes are killing her slowly.

Once they’re finished, the two sit quietly and make light conversation about their days (with Alison dancing around her visit with Hanna, for the most part) and whatever else they think of. Really, both girls are nervous, but Emily is surprisingly holding up more than Alison is, and the blonde occasionally feels her hands shake in her lap as they remain sitting at the table, empty plates in front of them.

“You look…” Emily sucks in a breath and glances at the other girl, “really beautiful tonight.”

“Just tonight?” Alison teases.

“You know what I mean.”

She leans forward, careful not to touch her own empty plate, “Well, good. It fits the occasion.”

When the brunette’s lips part, a smirk graces Alison’s face as she stands up in order to put their dishes in the sink. Emily’s brown eyes, once again, rake Alison’s figure, smiling softly as she takes a deep breath and leans back in her chair. The dishes are set down in the sink before the blonde begins to wash them carefully, suddenly wanting to take her time since the moment is starting to catch up with her continuous thoughts. She gets lost in them a second later, staring at the sink in front of her before a pair of arms wrap around her torso while soft lips kiss at her neck. A small whimper escapes her throat when the girl’s teeth scrape against her skin and she feels wandering hands traveling down her front side, but her eyes widen and she presses her front against the cabinet in fear that Emily is _trying_ to feel for the piece of jewelry. When she turns around, she catches the brunette’s confused expression and Alison’s smile turns shy before she leans forward again to connect their lips like almost an hour prior.

“Isn’t this the part where you take me into the living room?” Emily nudges her nose against Alison’s and the blonde backs up with a raised eyebrow that hides the fact that she’s severely annoyed regarding the brunette’s predictions.

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” she plays along, brushing their lips against each other however not granting Emily another kiss when she tries to lean forward.

“Please,” comes the whispered plea.

“Tell me why you want me to, first,” Alison’s smirk is so small that it barely even shows and they both feel as though they’re suffocating because they haven’t felt _this_ kind of tension in a while ━ though they’d be lying if they said it hasn’t been missed.

“I want you,” her eyes can barely focus on anything other than the trapped girl’s red-lined mouth and Alison tucks her lower lip between her teeth when she sees Emily’s expression.

“How?” again, she doesn’t kiss the brunette, but she brushes their lips together much like before, earning a sharp inhale from the girl who tries her hardest not to whine at the lack of contact.

“In every way,” Emily finally gives in and refuses to dance around the thick tension any longer.

She pleads, “Please, Alison.”

The blonde tightens her grip on the countertop behind her and Emily’s hands begin to wander again. Alison, upon hearing her full name instead of her nickname, feels weaker and her lips tremble against the other girl’s mouth. When the brunette’s hands end up cupping her jaw, Alison inhales sharply and Emily leans forward a bit more while whispering, “Don’t hold out on me any longer,” causing the trapped girl’s lips to part.

When Emily feels the other girl’s lips move a fraction, she takes a page out of Alison’s book and tugs on the blonde’s lower lip, earning an immediate whimper.

“I know you want to give in,” she continues to whisper, pecking Alison on the lips, “and you know I want you to, just as much.”

The other girl doesn’t move an inch, but her eyes slam shut as she tries to control her breathing which quickens once she feels Emily’s hands traveling down her sides, casually sliding back until they’re gripping the blonde’s ass. Again, a sharp noise passes Alison’s lips, but she still doesn’t lean forward. In fact, it takes another, whole minute of Emily’s further (and lower) wandering hands for the girl to react more and, when she feels fingertips dragging along the back of her upper thigh, her hands leave the counter so she can grip the brunette’s shoulders.

“I’m trying to be patient,” Alison gets out through gritted teeth, tilting her chin upwards when Emily’s lips trail down underneath her jaw.

Once the brunette hears the other girl’s half-assed explanation, she alternates between pecks and open-mouthed kisses, earning a chain of gasps and whimpers from Alison whose nails dig into Emily’s shoulders. A louder moan falls from her lips once she’s pressed further into the counter as the hem of her dress is bunched up behind her, Emily’s fingertips gingerly sliding underneath the back waistband of her underwear every now and then. Meanwhile, the lips pressed against her neck move faster with more determination, and that’s when Alison somehow gets ahold of Emily’s face, afterwards crashing their lips together as fast as she can without injuring either one of them. She bites on Emily’s lower lip, earning a grunt when it isn’t the most gentle gesture and, once she lets go, she backs up with a soft peck to the same area ━ almost as an apology.

When Emily can finally focus, she sees a pair of dark, lustful eyes staring back at her. Before her lips can part in order to choke out another whisper, she’s being brought towards the living room and a smile forms on her lips. Within seconds, they’re standing in front of one of the couches and Alison turns their bodies so Emily can sit down first. She doesn’t, however, and instead studies the blonde standing in front of her, smiling curiously as her brown eyes constantly (and unintentionally) float downwards.

“I thought you were trying to be patient,” comes Emily’s slight accusation when Alison arches an eyebrow, breathing still uneven.

The blonde grunts and takes a step forward, nudging the other girl’s nose with her own before mumbling a quick “Shut up” as she pushes Emily onto the middle cushion.

For a split second, her thoughts flash back to Hanna dubbing her as the “submissive” one and she smirks hard, causing the brunette to shift with wide eyes because she has no idea what’s going through the other girl’s mind. Emily’s gaze, like before, drifts downwards, raking the standing girl’s body time and time again as Alison tilts her head with a knowing smile. Her blue eyes look at Emily, watching her like a hawk.

“First of all,” Alison’s voice breaks the other girl out of her trance, “these are killing me.”

She bends over slowly, undoing her heels and throwing them nearby. Emily leans back slightly, leaving her hands in her lap because she doesn’t really know where else to put them at the moment. When Alison straightens her back as she stands like before, she silently panics because the ring is still in her pocket and, well, what if it rolls out once the garment hits the floor? On the other hand, she can’t exactly keep the dress on while comfortably━

“Are you just going to stare at me for the entire night?” Emily narrows her eyes with a smile.

“Well, it wouldn’t be _that_ bad of a view,” Alison mentally thanks herself for being so quick when it comes to teasing.

“This view isn’t so bad either,” she throws back, determined to match the blonde’s constant boldness.

Alison seems taken aback at first, but that quickly fades when the smirk from before returns.

“I guess I should leave the dress on, then,” she shrugs.

“I can work around it.”

Now she _really_ has no rebuttal and Emily can tell because her own smug expression appears. The brunette continues to look at her, this time with much more love than lust, and Alison suddenly feels shy. It doesn’t take long for that feeling to disappear, however, because she forces herself into feeling more confident and, in no time, her hands are reaching behind her back in order to unzip the navy blue, half-lace dress. Although Emily has seen the sight multiple times (not to mention the same exact self-undressing gesture), her mouth still goes dry whenever Alison’s clothing drops to the floor. She’ll never get tired of it, more so because it makes her happy that the other girl is so comfortable with their relationship nowadays ━ especially because of the way the blonde used to be regarding the scar on her thigh.

So, when the dress hits the floor with a soft thud, Emily takes a moment to actually focus, allowing her eyes to roam the other girl’s body as Alison places her hands on her hips with a playful, narrow-eyed gaze. The blonde occasionally glances at the floor, searching for the small piece of jewelry and severely hoping that she doesn’t see it. When she doesn’t, her seductive expression from before returns and Emily’s eyes finally lock with hers. Alison takes a step forward, standing between the other girl’s legs as she nudges her thighs open further. When the brunette takes her own bottom lip between her teeth, Alison smiles and decides to skip the blatant taunting because, really, she’s too frustrated for it at the moment. Honestly, she’s still pretty annoyed that she’s about to sexually give into the other girl _before_ proposing, but she doesn’t want either moment to be rushed so, for now, fuck it.

She straddles Emily’s thighs without missing another beat, pressing the brunette into the back cushion once she’s situated. Emily’s hands land on her waist and Alison can actually feel the girl’s fingertips trembling against her skin. She presses forward and kisses her gently, softly smiling afterwards because of the obvious nerves.

“Did you miss me?” the question is laced with seduction in a quiet tone and Emily doesn’t hesitate to nod with a nervous smile.

“Good.”

Alison looks at her for another few seconds before she lets her hands move to Emily’s button-up shirt, undoing the remaining buttons before pushing it over the girl’s shoulders. Without any hesitation, she lifts the brunette's tank top over her head, afterwards allowing her fingertips to drag along the girl’s collarbones as she earns a few sharp inhales. Her eyes remain focused on Emily’s, watching the girl struggle to keep solid eye contact as fingertips brush against her skin with a light pressure. When the pace becomes excruciatingly slow, Emily decides to take matters into her own hands and she grabs the girl’s ass while shimmying down the cushion a bit. As a natural reaction, Alison leans forward with a gasp, leaving her torso exposed as the other girl plants sloppy kisses along the skin of her stomach. The blonde girl’s hands grip the back of the couch as she holds herself up enough to watch Emily toy with the soft skin underneath her mouth and Alison moans at the sight because she wasn’t exactly prepared for it. The brunette’s tongue drags up her stomach and, at the same time, her right hand reaches for the clasp to Alison’s bra as she undoes it quickly. While Emily continues to create small, red marks around her stomach, Alison fully removes the loose piece of clothing, moaning loud when the determined girl moves upwards in order to focus on the newly exposed skin.

Her back arches slightly as her hips move forward every now and then, and Emily helps speed up the motion by wrapping her arm around Alison’s backside as she pulls her closer. A mounting chain of moans and whimpers fall from the blonde’s lips at a rapid rate, but they’re swallowed once her face is pulled down to Emily’s and their lips mesh together. Alison’s tongue slides against the other girl’s within seconds ━ not caring to take anything slow anymore because it’s been way too long ━ and the brunette takes the opportunity to somehow maneuver their bodies fully against the cushions with Alison on her back. The blonde hits the fabric with a thud and a grunt as one of Emily’s thighs lands between hers, causing a fresh moan to erupt from her throat. She feels the other girl smiling against her mouth and her hands move downwards so she can unbutton Emily’s jeans as fast as possible, quickly undoing the button and zipper before shoving them downwards without breaking their messy kiss. The girl assists in removing her pants fully, eventually kicking them onto the floor with the rest of their clothing. Next to go is her bra and Alison sighs happily at the fresh skin on skin contact once the brunette is resting on top of her again.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Alison chokes out, more so into Emily’s mouth because the girl’s thigh presses right against her core whenever she occasionally thrusts her hips.

“Good,” the brunette manages to breathe out and she smiles while taking her own lower lip in between her teeth because she sees how hard Alison’s blue eyes slam shut when her hand begins skating downwards.

Instead of passing the girl’s panty line so she can give into what the blonde really craves, her hand tugs the entire garment down, leaving the underwear only halfway down Alison’s thighs so it creates a form of restriction as she leans to the side ━ but not enough to fall off the couch since that’d likely derail the entire mood. Alison grits her teeth and gets out a desperate “Take them off, please” as Emily shakes her head with the same, devious expression, just looking at the blonde who struggles severely.

Emily’s hand lands between her thighs not even a second later, moving at a painfully slow rate, and Alison bites her lower lip because of the garment that’s preventing much movement. So, when the brunette decides to focus on her most sensitive area while there’s little-to-no room to move or open her legs further, a loud moan can be heard before her hand covers the other girl’s busy fingers as her nails create little crescent-shape indents in Emily’s tanned skin.

“Em, please,” her flickering eyes plead more than the actual, choked-out word and the brunette licks her lips.

Emily leans forward, letting her mouth linger near the other girl’s ear, “How much did you miss me, exactly?”

Alison can’t formulate an answer and, when Emily sees the struggle, she helps her out by pushing the piece of fabric further downwards, creating less of a restriction as it finally slides off. Her hand resumes its position from before with her fingers already creating a mounting friction against the girl’s slick center, and Alison’s head tilts back with a strangled whimper as Emily kisses along her jaw. The brunette straddles one of the other girl’s thighs, pressing down every now and then as she releases some of her own sounds, earning another few whimpers from the girl below who can’t focus one bit.

“Tell me how much you missed me,” she nips at Alison’s ear, eventually kissing her way back to the girl’s lips but lingering an inch away.

The girl pressed against the cushions feels the pressure already climbing with every swipe that flows through her folds and her skin gains a thin, shiny coat of sweat as her body tries to keep up with every motion of Emily’s fingers. She’s about to answer when a digit presses into her, causing her to bite onto the brunette’s bottom lip until she can release it when the small pressure is relieved. Her nails dig into Emily’s back, grasping onto the girl’s skin as much as she can and she hopes that the brunette doesn’t mind when her skin is practically torn off but, really, it’s her own fault for working so well with her fingers.

Finally, Alison finds her voice to answer the question but, as she does, she feels her legs turning to jelly as her orgasm begins to peak.

“So fucking much,” she breathes out, again partly into Emily’s mouth as the brunette focuses on making the girl’s climax unforgettable.

Her fingers move faster against the length of Alison’s center, intentionally rubbing hard against her clit once the girl’s legs begin to shake and her moans get even louder. At the same time, the blonde’s nails scrape upwards along Emily’s back and the girl hovering above matches the sharp moan due to the sudden sensation. The brunette breathes hard against Alison’s jaw, but she begins peppering kisses along the skin like before while the other girl’s chest expands and contracts at a rapid rate as her body tries to regulate itself. Alison swallows hard before her lips part as her eyes remain shut and Emily drags her tongue back upwards so she can come face to face with the girl who tries to steady her breathing as much as possible. In the meantime, Emily’s hand travels upwards, cupping Alison’s jaw so they can kiss deeper once their lips meet again.

The kiss is messy but sensual and Emily sighs into the contact because of how much she’s missed it. In fact, she’s so zoned into the kiss that she absentmindedly ignores the fact that one of Alison’s hands is now between their bodies as she remains slightly hovering above the blonde girl. So, when Alison’s fingertips suddenly pass her panty line, she has no time to react and she chokes out a gasp when she feels a single finger dragging up and down her center. Alison slowly moves her tongue along Emily’s lower lip, smirking hard once she backs up and puts more focus into how her hand shifts within the girl’s underwear. The brunette’s hand lands on the arm of the couch somewhere above Alison’s head, grasping at the fabric as her hips rock while fingers work against her in all the right places. Meanwhile, Alison’s other hand holds onto Emily’s waist, scraping back and forth at the skin at a slow rate that opposes the hand that presses against the brunette’s slick heat.

“I love watching you come undone,” Alison pushes a finger into the girl above her, smiling when Emily can’t focus on anything but the hand between her thighs.

Her hips press down against Alison’s thigh in order to create even more friction and the blonde manages to move her hand freely while allowing the girl to shift her lower half as much as she needs to. When she angles her hand a certain way, however, she’s able to move her fingertips against the girl’s most sensitive area, always earning the same, louder reactions from the brunette who is usually the “quiet” one out of the two. Alison smiles again before leaning up and tugging on Emily’s lip in order to send her over the edge ━ which works on contact.

The blonde’s name falls from Emily’s lips repeatedly along with a swear or two and many moans, whimpers, and breaths. Alison swallows the end of them, however, not wanting to miss the girl’s lips any longer as she presses their mouths together. Their skin sticks together with a warm coat of sweat and Alison removes her hand from between them when she feels it cramping up. Her fingertips wander along the girl’s tanned skin, softly dragging against her torso before squeezing her breast once and earning another sharp inhale. Afterwards, her smile softens and she pushes over in order to let the seemingly tired girl rest in her place.

Emily accepts the silent offer, allowing herself to flop onto her back as she pushes her own panties off. Afterwards, Alison cuddles up to her now-naked body with a smile and content sigh. The blonde looks backwards not even a second later, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and draping it over their lower halves since she’s never been one to lie naked in the living room. Every now and then, Alison lifts her chin and silently asks for a kiss, being granted a peck every time by the girl who smiles. Afterwards, she earns a kiss on the forehead as she snuggles further into Emily’s side.

She remains quietly resting in between the girl’s body and the back of the couch for an extended amount of time as they catch their breath, arm slung over Emily’s tanned stomach. Her leg rests between Emily’s, gently pressing against her center every now and then, earning a small inhale. Alison's light red lips gently kiss at the other girl’s shimmering skin, sometimes down the middle of her chest once the blonde leans over, causing Emily's breathing to pick up for a split second. When Alison backs up, she rubs her lips together in thought and breathes out heavily.

“Is something wrong?” the brunette quietly worries once the other girl is hovering above her, speaking for the first time since their adrenaline has crashed.

“No,” Alison smiles softly, but her eyes drift to the floor, “nothing’s _wrong_ , per se.”

“Are you sure?”

She sighs lightly but the smile never leaves her face. When Emily’s eyebrows furrow further, Alison rolls her eyes and leans over so she can rummage through her discarded clothing, eventually finding the dress. It takes an additional twenty seconds to find the particular pocket as Emily holds onto her so she doesn’t fall but, once she finds the item, she resumes her former position and looks into the girl’s brown eyes with the same smile ━ though it’s now a bit more nervous. Emily studies her face, not knowing what the girl was doing just a few moments prior, and Alison laughs softly at the entire situation because she’s pretty sure she found her “surprise” plan to make this time different ━ _unintentionally_. For once, she thanks their sex drives, but she still hopes that the entire romance factor wasn’t lost because of the order of events.

“Ali?” Emily’s worried voice breaks her out of her thoughts, but it’s extremely raspy and Alison’s lips part because she’ll never get tired of it.

“I’m sorry,” she smiles again, “I just… I didn’t picture the night going this way.”

“Are you upset it went this way?” she doesn’t exactly sound offended, but she sounds… cautious and maybe a bit rejected.

“No,” comes the whisper and another small grin.

She brings her hand in between their faces, ring pinched between her two fingers.

“But I planned on giving you this before anything else.”

Emily’s own smile grows and she visibly swallows hard because she feels super choked up even though she was expecting it for most of the night. Alison bites her lower lip, blinking hard as she takes a deep breath.

“Emily, will you please marry me?” her voice comes out as another whisper and her eyes are soft.

There’s still the overwhelming yet underlying fear that the other girl will reject the idea of marriage no matter if she’s shown recent signs of _wanting_ the commitment, so she feels the need to expand upon the proposal as much as she can without getting too emotional because, given the circumstances, it’s not exactly the most innocent moment, even though it’s beginning to feel that way.

“I know we’ve been through so much, some things not so great, but…” she pauses when she has no idea how to continue that particular sentence, “I want to make it up to you. _Everything_. You can still have as much time as you need for whatever you have to think about, but please do it while wearing this and please do it while being by my side. I love you so much, Emily, and I’m always yours,” she rubs her lips together. “Please always be mine.”

Without hesitation, the brunette’s smile grows again, this time with her eyes watering slightly, and she nods with an unwavering “Yes, Alison. I’ll marry you,” before pausing, licking her lips, and adding, “and I don’t need any time to think. I know you love me and that’s all I need to know.”

She takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve always loved you so much and that’ll never change, I promise. It’s something I’d love to do for the rest of my life and something I _will_ do for the rest of my life. You’ve always been there,” her eyes focus on Alison’s. “It's always been you.”

Alison senses a group of tears forming and she does her best to blink them away, but, before she can re-open her eyes, she feels soft lips being pressed against hers, causing her to sigh happily. Her ring-holding hand lands on Emily’s neck as she attempts to keep a firm grasp on the piece of jewelry while she kisses the brunette, smiling against her mouth when the lip-lock deepens like before. Before it can get too heated, however, Alison backs up, clears her throat, and shoots a pointed look at the girl below her who blushes with a cheeky “I’m sorry” whisper. Alison nods with a smile, eventually grabbing Emily’s hand and sliding the ring onto her finger. The brunette looks at it, adjusting it with her other hand as Alison admires her with a lovable gaze.

“So, I was correct when I assumed it’s a special occasion?” Emily’s tone is smug and Alison rolls her eyes.

“You’re a pain,” she groans. “I almost changed my mind just because you’re an ass.”

The other girl giggles with a large smile, “I was just trying to cover up my nervousness, Ali.”

“Oh, so you let me be nervous _alone_?”

“Don’t give me that look.”

“You deserve it.”

“No,” Emily shakes her head with the same smile, “you deserved to be nervous.”

“What?! Why?”

“Because I said so,” Emily cranes her neck upwards and kisses the other girl, gently cupping her face to bring them back down to the cushions.

Alison shakes her head while she remains kissing the brunette pressed against the couch, eventually humming a short “No” as she backs up and shifts so she’s straddling Emily completely. She straightens her back and puts her hands on the girl’s ribs, dragging her fingertips up and down with only a slight pressure. Emily twitches every now and then, earning a smirk from the blonde above. Her brown eyes struggle to focus and she doesn’t even try to look at the girl straddling her because she knows that, if she does, Alison’s smirk might cause her to melt on sight and she chokes out a sigh at the thought.

“I think it’s your turn to be the nervous one,” she smirks harder, licking her lips as she leans down to kiss Emily on the mouth once more.

“Fine, then. I’ll propose next time,” Emily tries to cover up her weak state by fighting back with her smug tone from before and Alison arches an eyebrow at the statement.

“No way,” she shakes her head. “No more proposals. Next time you try to run out on me, I’m handcuffing us together and dragging you to the nearest officiant.”

Emily laughs at the image, smiling big at the girl who leans down so their lips are only an inch apart.

“You’re stuck with me,” Alison finishes.

The brunette looks away while biting her own bottom lip, grinning at a question that pops into her head because she knows what answer she’d get. The other girl studies the entertained expression and her eyes narrow in curiosity. When Emily sees that she’s being glared at, her lips part but, soon enough, she voices her thought with a cheesy smile.

“For how long?”

Alison breathes out a laugh, nods gently in understanding, and kisses her on the lips.

“How about forever?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I have to be cliché and use the "How about forever?" line. It's a classic.
> 
> I know a good chunk of you were waiting for this super adorable proposal and, believe me, that was my original intention but, given their relationship and what's been happening with them as of late, I decided to go this route. I, personally, don't think it takes away from the romance factor or the beauty of entire proposing concept, mostly because it's not something you see every day. This was completely backwards and oh-so-casual which is what made it special. On the other hand, they do, indeed, need a cold shower.
> 
> Nevertheless, these two are engaged once again (finally, amiright?) and pretty damn happy (so am I, but that's not the point).
> 
> Side note: #Halison, my one true loves━ not really but also yes. ━ Another side note: Alison losing the ring and flipping a nut is my favorite because it's completely me.
> 
> I can't believe we're already getting ready to read Ch. 20 together (yes, I read with you guys once I post). After that, I won't be able to believe that I'll be posting the epilogue. Originally, the epilogue was supposed to wrap up the story on Valentine's Day (and, at first, it was totally unplanned), but it'll come out sooner since I pre-updated a few times during the course of this story. Whoopsies.
> 
> SoOoOo, next chapter is a nice wrap-up for the main story. It'll close a lot of doors and give much-needed closure for a few things which I hope you enjoy. Please savor these final two chapters because, although I have a rough outline for the sequel if I decide to write it, who knows if it'll continue past the epilogue. You have my new multi-chapter to look forward to, however, which now contains thirteen, whole chapters (it'll be twenty with an epilogue, when finished) and 90K words ━ yeah, I move fast. As I write this, chapter fourteen's document is open and bulking up. You're welcome.
> 
> Next update: Tuesday.
> 
> New story hint: I like trying new things, which I why I decided to switch up some friend groups. Although our "core five" were best friends in high school, they broke in half (with no animosity between most of them, I promise): Alison and Hanna brought Mona into their little clique whereas Emily stayed with Spencer and Aria. Other random/important characters include: CeCe, Toby, Holbrook (ew, I know), Sabrina, and Melissa. It's a weird lineup, I realize that, but I'm telling you that these characters are important in different ways. ━ Any questions?
> 
> While you wait for Ch. 20 to be posted next week, leave me reviews/comments and feel free to share your favorite part of this story (thus far). I love hearing what you think and/or whatever struck you as most interesting. Mention your favorite character or favorite line. Anything.
> 
> Until next time, farewell, my friends.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trumpet noises*
> 
> Updating early because my home team won the Super Bowl (and Lady Gaga has me stoked).
> 
> Regardless of who you were pulling for (or if you were in it, at all), I'm sure we all enjoy reading some fic since that's what we're here for. So…
> 
> This chapter. The (almost) ending. My emotions. They're everywhere. Honestly, I did not miss the feeling I get whenever I see a story folder getting more and more empty. I actually think I'll cry once the epilogue is posted (since I did for TM&HS). I'm such a baby, but anyway.
> 
> The bottom author's note is, again, very long (the actual chapter is only 5.8K long)… but that's because I've included a little snippet of the new multi-chapter for your reading pleasure.
> 
> I'll meet you there (while I quietly sob).

“Fuck, Ali,” the girl practically growls through deep breaths as the blonde climbs up her body, eventually smirking hard when they’re finally face to face.

“Mm, told you,” she kisses Emily’s mouth, making sure that the brunette tastes herself on her tongue.

“That was _not_ relaxing,” Emily breathes out a shaky laugh. “I thought I was going to pass out.”

“Oh, so I was that good?”

Another shaky laugh comes and Alison finally slumps against the other girl’s body, sticking to her sweaty skin almost immediately.

About an hour ago, the blonde had randomly straddled her fiancée as she relaxed on their bed whilst scrolling through her phone. Of course, Emily watched her with narrowed eyes, especially when her phone was tossed onto one of the nearby end tables.

_“You know, I was reading something,” she laughs at the blonde who tilts her head to the side, a sheepish expression covering her features._

_“I know, but I wanted some attention.”_

_Before Emily can answer, Alison licks her lips in an exaggerated way, ending it with a big smirk as she pulls her shirt over her head and tosses it somewhere towards the closet. The brunette’s eyes drift downwards but she tries her hardest to keep her focus elsewhere because they’ve been in and out of bed ━ not to mention on and off the couch ━ since the previous night’s proposal ━ and even beforehand._

_Alison leans down and kisses the girl’s mouth with soft, long pecks, afterwards tugging on the brunette’s lower lip. When she backs up, Emily’s eyes are still shut and her lips are almost pursed as if she wants more. Alison smiles at the sight and the girl’s brown eyes flutter open to see the lovable expression. The fluffy gaze turns lustful soon enough and the blonde squeezes her lover’s shirt-covered breasts as her hips grind against the girl’s lower torso. She tucks her lower lip between her teeth, smiling when Emily’s hands grip at her thighs._

_“I missed you,” the blonde’s fingers walk up the girl’s top-half until they reach her throat._

_“Jeez, Ali, didn’t we just have sex like… not even three hours ago?” Emily jokes while raising her eyebrows at the girl straddling her body, shirtless with already-messy hair._

_Alison mimics the raised eyebrows, almost like the question is ridiculous, “We have to make up for the time we lost.”_

_The brunette lying against the mattress shoots her a “really?” kind of look and Alison pushes the girl’s shirt up so it’s bunched just above her breasts. Immediately, her nails drag up and down the girl’s ribcage and Emily bites her lower lip with little pressure._

_“And don’t act like you don’t enjoy it,” Alison smirks once she sees the girl’s blissful appearance._

_“Maybe I just wanted to relax,” Emily teases._

_“Hmm, well I’m sure I can think of something much more relaxing.”_

With that, the girl bent down and kissed Emily’s lips again, slowly crawling down her body while maintaining eye contact ━ something that has melted the brunette time and time again in previous (and sometimes _very_ inappropriate) encounters.

Sometime during the passing time, Alison had crawled back towards the other girl’s face without notice, just to help Emily shed herself of her remaining clothes. Immediately after, she disappeared again, though the brunette’s body already felt nonexistent from her first climax.

Emily feels small pecks being peppered along the spot underneath her jawline and a soft grunt erupts from her throat. Alison breathes out a small laugh at the noise, afterwards placing a few open-mouthed, damp kisses around the same area.

“You’re going to end up killing me soon,” the brunette grumbles with closed eyes.

“Mm, I’m not so sure if I’m really sorry,” Alison smiles against her skin, continuing her ministrations.

She ignores the other girl’s comment, “You better not leave any marks, Ali. We’re going out in a few hours, don’t forget.”

“I won’t make any new marks, don’t worry.”

“ _New_ marks?”

“Em, we’ve been at it since sometime last night. I’m still surprised you have skin on your back.”

“So I was that good?” Emily mocks the girl’s words from before and Alison rolls her eyes.

“ _Yes_ and you know that.”

Alison shifts against Emily, intentionally moving her leg in between the girl’s thighs so she takes in a sharp inhale. She presses her body upwards so they’re face to face again, brushing some of the brunette’s hair away from her face. Emily’s eyes flutter open and she smiles at the girl hovering above her.

“I really did miss you,” her blue eyes struggle to lock with Emily’s when they keep drifting down.

“I missed you too,” she leans up and kisses the girl who smiles, then rests her head on the pillow once again.

“Please don’t walk away from me ever again.”

“I told you I won’t, Alison,” she comforts with a soft voice.

“No, I know you _said_ that,” the blonde bites her lower lip and looks away, “but who knows if I’ll fuck up again. I’m not hiding anything else and I won’t lie anymore, but…” her voice trails off.

“Ali, we’ll cross that bridge if we ever come to it,” Emily leans forward again, capturing Alison’s lips, “but, even if we do, I promise I’m not going to walk away from you. We’ll talk things out, just like we always do.”

“Do you really promise?”

“Of course,” she finds Alison’s hand and intertwines their fingers.

“Okay,” comes the whisper, and her lips are sealed with another, abrupt kiss.

The blonde goes to lean back but she’s pulled forward for a longer, deeper kiss, humming into the lip-lock as the other girl smiles hard against her mouth. Whenever Alison tries to pull away, the kiss deepens more than before and it even earns a breathy moan from the blonde who ends up grinding down on Emily’s thigh.

“We have to get ready for dinner,” she manages to get out but her lower lip is tugged on.

Alison continues through her teeth, “And stop doing that. It’s _my_ thing.”

“ _Yeah_ , but I figured out that it gets just as good of a reaction when _I_ do it.”

“No,” a stern finger is placed against the girl’s lips and Emily kisses the skin.

“Mhm,” she hums.

When the brunette semi-wraps her lips around the girl’s finger, Alison swallows hard and forces herself to look away, earning a soft chuckle from Emily who lies against the mattress.

“I mean it, Em. We have to get ready.”

“Oh, so _now_ you’re finished with me?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Alison shoots back, her eyes regaining their lustful sparkle for a moment, “but we’ll have to wait until after dinner with the girls.”

“And _why’d_ you plan a nice dinner date with the others when you knew you’d be proposing yesterday?”

Alison groans and sits up, “I have no idea, honestly.”

Emily snorts at the reaction and sits up as well, covering her chest with their bedsheets. The blonde’s blue eyes drift downward while her mouth curves into a slight smirk and the other girl rolls her eyes.

“Go shower, Ali.”

“Come with me.”

“No, you and I both know we’ll never get clean if I come with you.”

Alison frowns.

“Now go,” she points at the bathroom.

“Excuse me?” the blonde narrows her eyes with a disbelieving smile. “I _know_ you didn’t just order me to do something.”

“You didn’t seem to mind a few hours ago,” it’s more of a joke (even though there’s _a lot_ of evidence to the comment), but Alison blushes hard with parted lips as Emily smiles with a smug look on her face.

“ _Okay_ ,” Alison starts with a dull tone, “but that was _then_ and we were in bed at the time.”

Emily looks down at the mattress.

“Don’t,” the blonde huffs with a smile. “You know what I meant.”

Again, the tanned girl points at the bathroom with raised, impatient eyebrows and Alison rolls her eyes before leaving the room. She closes the door softly, leaving the other girl to do whatever she needs to in order to get ready. Emily, on the other hand, sits in place, smiling at the events that have unfolded within the last however-many hours. She leans over to her side’s end table and picks up her favorite ring, eyeing the piece of jewelry as she gets hit with every feeling she’s ever felt since putting it on for the very first time ━ and she’ll never get tired of those feelings. The ring is slid onto her finger not even a minute later and she takes a deep breath before flopping back onto the pillows behind her. She closes her eyes but, before she can get comfortable enough to think about anything, her phone begins to ring and she extends her arm in order to reach the device.

“Hello?” she partially sings into the phone after seeing her mother’s number appear on the screen.

 _“Hello,”_ Mrs. Fields greets with an equally sing-song tone, _“just wanted to call and ask how you and Alison have been.”_

Emily smiles and looks down at her hand, “Good. We’re really good.”

_“Everything is good with… what happened?”_

“Mhm,” she nods, even though her mother can’t see, “I feel alright, despite everything.”

 _“What about Alison?”_ her voice is more concerned than intrusive and Emily looks at the bathroom door for a moment.

“I think she’s fine,” the brunette shrugs. “I think she was more worried about me and our relationship than what happened.”

 _“Hm,”_ the older woman hums, _“I suppose that’s better than stressing over what happened with something you couldn’t have controlled. That’s good, then. I’m glad you two are fine. How is everything else?”_

“Great. We’re meeting up with the other girls for dinner tonight.”

_“Ah, so you’re all talking a lot again? That’s such a relief, Emily. I’m sure you feel good about that.”_

“I missed them a lot,” she admits. “Ali did too.”

_“I bet. She’s been away from them even longer than you have.”_

Although that’s not entirely true, Emily nods because, really, the blonde hadn’t held a face to face conversation with the others, so she supposes that the statement still holds _some_ truth. If either of them deserve this reunion… it’s Alison, and Emily is just happy that she’s tagging along for the ride. Her mom is right: it _is_ a relief.

“Yeah, I’m still surprised that they were willing to talk after everything.”

 _“You five were always like siblings, sweetheart. Well… you know,”_ the woman laughs and Emily matches it. _“I’m not surprised about anything.”_

“How have you been?”

_“Good. Keeping myself occupied around the house and at work.”_

“Sounds boring,” Emily chuckles.

_“When you’re older, you’ll understand how nice it is to have a simple schedule.”_

“With Alison? I’ll never have a simple schedule.”

 _“That’s your fiancée you’re talking about, Emily. Be kind,”_ Mrs. Fields half-heartedly scolds her daughter who smirks while fixing her ring.

The woman breathes out over the speaker, _“Alright, well, I’ll let you go. Check in soon, okay?”_

“Okay. Love you.”

_“Love you too. Say hello to Alison for me.”_

“I will,” and, with that, she hangs up the phone before cracking her back, grimacing, and rolling off the mattress.

As she stretches with an exaggerated groan, Alison saunters out of the bathroom, wearing a lone towel too short to cover more than just the beginning of her thighs or the top portion of her chest. Emily eyes her, arching an eyebrow when the blonde shoots her an innocent smile, and she chuckles while approaching. She gives the other girl a quick kiss on the lips, crosses her arms, and walks into the bathroom before shutting the door as fast as possible because she knows that Alison will likely try to follow.

The blonde glares at the closed door, more so because the other girl closed it like her life depended on it. She takes a deep breath, drops the towel, and walks into her closet so she can pick out something to wear for the night ahead. Really, she wishes that she could just wear a t-shirt and sweatpants but, of course, they collectively decided on a semi-casual, semi-formal restaurant somewhere between Hanna’s office and their house ━ which means both Spencer and Aria have some ways to drive in order to meet up with the others, not that either care much. So, while scanning through the contents of her closet, she finds a nice, charcoal-colored blouse, dark jeans, and a pair of flats because she refuses to wear heels two nights in a row. To go underneath, Alison picks out a matching bra and underwear set consisting of lacy, dark green items that Emily had taken a big liking to when she wore them one other time ━ for no longer than ten minutes, technically.

After tugging on the two, small items, her phone begins to ring somewhere nearby and her forehead creases when she can’t remember where she put it ━ or where it landed hours prior. Finally, after fifteen seconds of extensive searching near the bed, she finds the device face-down near her own end table and she kneels on the floor while answering the call after not recognizing the number.

“Hello?” her voice sounds cautious.

 _“Um, hey, Alison,”_ it takes her a few more seconds to make out who the deep voice belongs to but, soon, she realizes that it’s Caleb and her eyes narrow before they widen in nervousness.

“Why are you━” she stops herself. “Is Hanna okay?”

 _“Huh? Oh, yeah, she’s fine,”_ he explains. _“I just…”_ his voice trails off quickly and Alison sits on the edge of the bed, _“I wanted to apologize.”_

“Oh,” is all Alison can come up with.

_“At the time, I felt like blaming you was my best option because I was so scared for Hanna’s safety and everything’s always come back to you. But I know that it wasn’t your fault, so I’m sorry for that. I’m also sorry for, um, basically showing Noel where you live. I just… I don’t know. I was seeing red, at the time.”_

The blonde lets his words sink in, though she shifts her jaw because he’s said and done some fucked up things but, then again, who hasn’t? So, as she fiddles with her fingers, she sighs.

“I accept your apology, Caleb. Thanks for calling.”

_“I don’t want to be on your bad side, Alison. For some reason… and I don’t mean it in a bad way… Hanna seems so much livelier now that you and Emily are back in her life. All four of you, actually. I haven’t seen that for so long, so I… I want to thank you for that, even if I didn’t allow myself to accept it, in the beginning.”_

“Well, the feeling is mutual. We’re just as happy,” Alison breathes out. “Thank you for always being by her side. She loves you a lot, you know. Regardless of everything that’s happened with anything in the past.”

 _“She’s a handful, that’s for sure,”_ he chuckles and the blonde smiles. _“But I wouldn’t change a thing.”_

“Good.”

 _“Um,”_ Caleb pauses, _“okay, then. That’s all I needed, I guess.”_

“Thanks again.”

 _“I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other, so,”_ again, he laughs and Alison’s smile grows because Hanna will, for sure, make them double date ━ if not triple or quadruple date with Aria and Spencer.

“Very likely,” she agrees.

_“Have a nice time tonight.”_

The call is terminated after their goodbyes and Alison remains sitting on the mattress as she lets everything sink in. Internally, she hopes that their giant rough patch ( _everyone’s_ ) is over because, really, she just wants to remember the next few years (and forever) with all four girls by her side ━ especially the brunette who’s currently exiting the bathroom as she absentmindedly fixes the towel that rests on her chest. Alison smiles at the sight, blushing as she quickly looks down at her hands before the other girl can catch her staring. Emily walks into her closet, humming to herself as she scans through her clothes. When her back is facing the blonde who sits on the bed, Alison looks up again, smiling just as soft.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready?” Emily throws over her shoulder with a smug tone.

The other girl playfully rolls her eyes while pushing herself off the bed. She walks around the mattress and enters her own closet, eventually throwing on her outfit since they’re supposed to be at the restaurant within the next ninety minutes. Before she can fasten her blouse, a pair of arms wrap around her torso, followed by the feeling of damp hair falling against her skin.

“I’m supposed to be getting ready,” Alison mocks with a smile.

“Yeah, but then I noticed what you’re wearing and I decided that I’d rather you not.”

The blonde turns around to face the other girl, poking her in the chest, “I told you we have to wait until after dinner. Stop trying to distract me.”

“I’m sure they won’t question it if we cancel,” Emily leans in to kiss the girl who backs up with narrowed eyes.

“Okay,” she lets out a dull laugh during a short pause, “yes, they will. _Especially_ Hanna who, by the way, finds our sex life quite amusing.”

“What? You told her about our━”

“And I _know_ you’re not accusing me of talking about what we do in bed. To _Hanna_ , nonetheless,” the blonde raises a daring eyebrow, causing the other girl to look away with a laugh.

After, Emily waits for an answer.

“I didn’t tell her anything!” her blue eyes widen. “She just… makes jokes.”

“Example?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Alison crosses her arms and pouts.

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Ali…”

“She called me submissive,” the girl passes Emily in order to walk out of the closet, followed by the other girl who tries to contain her laughter as much as she can.

“Aw,” she taunts, “is someone grumpy because they’re submissive?”

Alison turns around quickly, tilting her head with narrowed eyes as the other girl shuts up right away. The brunette swallows hard, taking a step back before letting out a shaky laugh.

“Come on, Ali,” she giggles nervously, “you know you can be a _little bit_ submissive sometimes.”

The girl’s eyes are challenging and she crosses her arms with a “you’re in deep shit” smile.

“Wow,” comes Alison’s next response, “I can see someone’s feeling a bit daring today.”

Emily bites her lower lip, standing a few feet away from the girl who continues to stare at her as if she’s watching her prey. Again, she swallows hard because she’s barely breathing now and Alison nods with a slight hum, looking away afterwards.

“We’ll see,” she warns while walking towards the bathroom. “Just wait until tonight, baby.”

The other girl remains standing in the same spot, lips parted a fraction as her hands wring in front of her. Really, once again, she was trying to joke, but of course Alison has never been one to be teased ━ _especially_ when said teasing is coming from Emily. So, instead of making matters worse (or is it really a bad thing to begin with?), the brunette shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath, determined to finish getting ready for the night ahead.

 

X X X

 

“Aw,” Hanna already begins to tease the two girls who walk towards the table, “look at the happy couple.”

Alison happily tugs on Emily’s hand, bringing her forward since the brunette has been moving at a snail’s pace since they left the house. Hanna and Spencer sit at a round table towards the back of the dimly-lit restaurant, candle in the center of the piece of furniture. Currently, Aria is nowhere to be found, which means that she’s probably stuck in traffic ━ not that anyone minds waiting.

“ _Ooh_ ,” Alison grins, “we get a candle,” she sits down after Emily pulls the chair out for her, earning an impressed “Thank you” in return.

“Yes, we do,” Spencer huffs, “and Hanna’s been nearly knocking it over every two minutes.”

“That was only once,” the accused blonde shoots back with an emphatic hand gesture, nearly tugging on the tablecloth and earning a pointed look from the brunette next to her.

“Okay, twice,” she finishes while sinking further into her chair.

“How long have you two been here?” Emily wonders as a waiter pours water for the two newly-arrived girls.

“About ten minutes for me,” Hanna answers.

“I arrived about three minutes before she did. I waited at the entrance for her because I figured she wouldn’t find me, otherwise.”

“I would’ve just waited for someone else,” comes Hanna’s shrug.

Before Spencer can offer a rebuttal, Aria appears behind Emily and Alison, putting her arms around the two so she can wrap them in a three-person group hug.

“I’m so happy you two worked things out,” she squeaks out in excitement, letting them go afterwards so she can sit between Hanna and Alison at the round table.

“Me too,” Hanna raises her eyebrows. “Alison’s pacing was getting ridiculous,” she continues with a mumble and the other blonde’s eyes widen at the girl with a “seriously?” kind of glare.

Emily snickers as she attempts to stop herself from giggling, earning a sharp elbow in her side as Spencer and Aria chuckle at the sight.

“How did you two make up, anyway?” Spencer tilts her head to the side with a slight smile.

“Or do we even _want_ to know?” Hanna questions with wide eyes.

Alison groans at the other girl’s not-so-subtle teasing regarding her sex life with Emily and the brunette looks away with blushing cheeks as Aria sips her water with a smile. In response, Spencer offers a quiet “Okay, then.”

“Oh, don’t be a bunch of prudes,” comes Hanna’s next response with a huff. “We all know what happens when they━”

“Hanna,” Spencer cuts her off with a small laugh, “we get it.”

“Han, I know you’d _love_ to hear all the juicy details, but I really just… asked,” Alison offers in a coy tone.

“Ew, _juicy_ ,” Hanna makes a face and Aria almost spits her water out.

“Okay,” the small brunette says once she wipes her mouth, “I don’t exactly want the details that Hanna’s searching for, but what do you mean you just asked?”

Alison’s lips part when she can’t exactly come up with an explanation because, yeah, she really just asked… but, admittedly, it was after they had sex.

Hanna clears her throat as she waits, a smug expression growing on her face as both Spencer and Aria wait with growing smirks of their own. Meanwhile, Emily also looks towards Alison, almost as if she’s egging the other girls on and, honestly, Alison wants to kick her underneath the table for it.

“Okay!” Alison relents with a laugh. “It was after we…” her voice trails off.

“Had sex?” Hanna fills in the blank. “You know, Ali, if you can’t _say_ it, then you shouldn’t be _doing_ it.”

Alison offers her an emphatic bitter smile and Emily chuckles as she sits next to her fiancée who continues to get teased.

“No wonder you accepted, Emily,” the blonde across the table throws at the brunette who now has rosy cheeks.

Now, Alison’s bitter smile is directed at Emily who looks away as Spencer and Aria continue to laugh at the entire conversation.

Before anyone can say anything else, the waiter comes back, takes their orders, and leaves with a smile and a polite “Your meals will be out soon.” The girls offer him a round of _thank you_ ’s, then go back to talking about anything and everything that comes to mind. Obviously, the next topic that comes up revolves around Emily and Alison’s wedding, and the two look at one another with clueless expressions as Hanna eyes them like a vulture.

“Tell me you’ve thought more about what you two want to do,” she deadpans.

“Hanna, they literally just got━” Spencer tries but she’s cut off.

“And you, Spencer, do you have or need a planner?” she smiles big, earning an eye-roll from the brunette in question.

“We haven’t talked about that in the slightest, Hanna, and we’re taking things slow right now.”

“ _‘Taking things slow’_ is for when you’re dating. Now, you’re engaged and it’s time for _action_.”

“You’re really passionate about wedding planning, Han, aren’t you?” Aria arches an eyebrow at the girl who’s nearly foaming at the mouth as she speaks with her hands.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Hanna’s eyes widen as she looks back at Aria who laughs hard at her expression and seriousness.

“Okay,” the blonde continues as she turns her attention back to Emily and Alison, “so you’ve thought more about what you’d like to do, right?”

“I thought wedding planning is supposed to be confidential,” Alison challenges.

“Not when Spencer and Aria are around. They’re free game.”

Aria and Spencer smile big, whereas Alison and Emily can’t really argue against that because, honestly, they’re like family ━ or _were_ , maybe ━ who knows.

“Well, no, we haven’t talked about it lately,” Alison answers for both her and Emily.

“But you’re going to, right?” Hanna almost looks… devastated, and Emily wants to smile at the reaction because she finds it adorable how hellbent Hanna is on making their wedding unforgettable ━ and, now, it’s in a good way.

“Of course,” Emily answers with a genuine smile, getting it matched by Hanna who hums in excitement.

“We’re invited, right?” Spencer motions to Aria and herself, smiling at the smaller brunette who offers her a solid head nod.

“Is that even a question?” Alison raises an eyebrow at the two.

Spencer and Aria both lean back in their chairs, obviously happy with the way things have turned out.

“I know I’m your planner so I technically _have_ to be there,” Hanna drawls with a shy tone, “but I’d be invited if I wasn’t, right?”

This time, Emily can’t stop herself from smiling at the other girl and Hanna whines at the expression with a “Stop it, I’m feeling insecure, Em.” Alison swats at the tanned girl’s arm with a scolding “Behave,” turning her attention back to the other blonde who waits for an answer.

“No sex jokes at the wedding,” she points a finger at Hanna who forcefully pouts, eventually nodding in agreement and smiling at Alison who grins at the deal.

“Dates are welcome, as well,” the same blonde throws out to everyone.

“Good. I was going to force Caleb to come with me no matter what,” Hanna comments and Alison wonders if she knows that Caleb had called her prior to this get-together, but she decides not to say anything because, if he wants Hanna to know, he’ll tell her; she feels like it’s not in her place to say anything right now.

“Ezra too. He’s warming up to everything,” Aria explains. “I think he’s just cautious, but I guess we’ll see what happens.”

“I’m sure Toby will be excited to catch up with everyone,” Spencer adds.

“Great,” Emily nods. “That completes our guest list, in addition to my mom.”

Alison side-eyes her, earning a shrug.

“So, Aria,” it’s Spencer’s turn to speak, “what’s new with you?”

“Well,” she answers after taking a sip of her water, “I’m actually working on a new book.”

“Spoilers, I want them,” Hanna motions at the girl with wide, hopeful eyes and Aria chuckles at the impatient expression.

“I can’t tell you much,” Aria continues in a sing-song voice, “but… it’s about us, honestly.”

Four pairs of eyes watch the other girl who studies them all carefully, having a timid body language and soft smile covering her features as she plays with the cloth napkin in her lap.

“I hadn’t been writing for a little now. I couldn’t think of anything new to write, really, and I just… I hit a wall. So, I decided to focus on my signings while hoping that something would come to me and, well, technically something did. _Two_ somethings, or two _someones_ ,” she looks between Spencer and Emily with a growing smile.

“After that night,” she shakes her head, “I told you that I knew I’d have to face all of you sooner or later, but I never let it sink in. It wasn’t until we sat down and spoke, albeit through frustration and tears, that I was smacked in the face with a story. Our story,” the girl swallows hard while she explains.

The other girls continue to stare at her. Alison and Emily wear smiles, whereas Spencer and Hanna both have watery eyes, and Aria remains fiddling with her hands in her lap as she occasionally glances at the others ━ almost as if she’s afraid that they won’t like the idea.

“I changed our names in it,” Aria chuckles at the idea of them being known by three different names each, “but the story… it’s about our friendship before, what went on during the span of a few years for my character, and the angsty reunion. It’s still in the early stages and I haven’t exactly written much, but I feel good. It’s like venting, almost. I just hope I do it justice.”

“I’m far beyond confident that you’ll do much more than justice for it, Aria,” Spencer smiles big, wiping at her eye. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Aria matches the smile, but it’s a bit shaky because she’s caught off-guard by the praise.

“I feel… included. This story… I almost feel like it’s going to become a part of me, even if you’re the one writing it instead of myself. Even if you write me as the villain, I’ll still love it, so thank you for giving me that feeling.”

“I’d never write you as the villain, Spencer,” Aria sounds choked up and Hanna wipes furiously at her eyes as Alison does her best to stop her own tears while Emily rubs circles on her back.

“God,” Hanna interrupts, “the waiter better not come with our food anytime soon. I look like crap because of you guys.”

She pulls out a small mirror so she can make sure that her makeup isn’t messed up. Ultimately, it’s only a bit smudged, but she fixes it quickly as she sniffles hard and looks at the ceiling so no other tears will fall. Spencer, on the other hand, wipes at her own eyes while taking deep breaths and Aria pushes her chair out. She rounds the table a second later, wrapping her arms around Spencer so she can hug her with a quiet “I love you, Spence.” Spencer laughs in response, mostly because that definitely didn’t help with keeping her tears at bay, but she returns the sentiment with an unwavering “I love you too, Ar.” Before going back to her seat, Aria emphatically kisses Spencer on the side of the head, then walks away just in time for the waiter to come with their meals.

Their plates are placed in front of them and everyone gawks at the delicious platters but, before eating, Emily leans over to Alison with a whisper.

“You okay?”

Hanna eyes the two but doesn’t mention anything. Instead, she smiles and goes back to stabbing at her food.

“Mhm,” Alison sniffles slightly, forcing a smile.

“Are you sure?” the other girl’s voice holds a knowing tone.

“I’ll be fine,” she breathes out a laugh. “Thank you for checking on me.”

Alison turns her cheek and leans over to press a sweet kiss on the corner of Emily’s lips, smiling at the girl’s lovable expression afterwards. They nearly get lost in one another’s eyes, but Hanna loudly clears her throat to break the mounting tension and that’s when the two snap back into reality. Alison rolls her blue eyes at the other blonde who shoots her an innocent smile with rapid-blinking eyelashes.

They eat in silence (for the most part), only breaking the quietness with clanking forks, satisfied hums, and laughs whenever someone mumbles something out of the blue. Surrounding them are various, empty tables even though it’s only currently around nine o’clock at night, but everyone enjoys the secluded space. The food turns out to be beyond delicious, which is a plus because it’s practically the cherry on top of the perfect night and the entire restaurant’s ambiance is dark yet light ━ _somehow_. Overall, each girl enjoys herself and, once they finish eating, they make quiet chatter amongst themselves once again before the waiter brings over a tray of special drinks that they ordered a few minutes after dinner.

Somewhere during the random topics and laughter, Hanna quiets down, staring absentmindedly at the still-lit candle in the center of the table.

“Han?” Spencer tries when she sees the other girl’s empty stare. “Are you okay?”

The blonde in question seems to snap out of whatever trance she’s in and locks eyes with Spencer while smiling softly, “Yeah, I am.”

“I’m more than okay, actually,” she continues with a shake of her head and the other girls pay attention to what the blonde is about to say.

Hanna starts again, “It’s weird, honestly. I never pictured us back together. I didn’t think I’d see any of you ever again, but I’d be lying if I tried to convince you guys that I wish we never stumbled upon each other after all these years. Really, I think I _needed_ this. I think… for me to be truly happy… I needed us together again, and I think Caleb can see it too because he’s finally accepting it. I’m happy for once.”

Everyone stares back at Hanna as she makes eye contact with the girls individually and she flashes them small smiles ━ especially Alison who she speaks to next.

“Alison, I know we don’t have the best past and I know that we’ll likely try to tear each other limb from limb sometime in the future… _probably_ when you’re being picky as all hell when it comes to your wedding… but I really am glad you’re in my life. We’ve both grown up a lot and I think it’s better this way.”

Emily, sitting next to Alison, genuinely smiles at the overall sentiment because they’re finally the core five again. She’s missed it so much and she’s clearly not the only one because Aria dabs at the corner of her eye with a new napkin while Spencer sniffles like before with a forced smile to stop herself from tearing up even harder than she was prior to eating dinner. Alison, on the other hand, smiles big at the other blonde, afterwards raising her glass with a thankful (and somewhat devious) arched eyebrow.

Everyone follows suit, raising their respective glasses with varying smiles and laughs.

“To new beginnings,” Spencer speaks for the rest, toasting to their reborn, collective friendship.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanna's speech a few lines before the end of this chapter makes me happy. I'm sure we can all agree that she had one of the biggest turn-arounds when it comes to character development and I'm beyond satisfied with how she turned out. Her speech basically wraps up the entire story (aside from the epilogue, yes), so I'm glad I was able to add it in.
> 
> Yes, I know, a lot of people have done the whole "Aria/Ezra write a book about what's happened" but I really wanted to put my own spin on it so I hope the storyline's not too old at this point. I think it's more of a dedication to their re-strengthened friendship more than anything and, in turn, it'll begin to completely heal each and every girl ━ especially Spencer and her bond with Aria.
> 
> So, we finally gained some closure between Alison/Caleb which I was set on putting into this fic somewhere since we haven't gotten much closure between the two on-screen. Alison is finally coming to a point in her life where it's time to forgive and forget. Caleb, on the other hand, is maturing in a sense and understanding that Alison can't be used as a scapegoat 'til the end of time.
> 
> You'll be able to see all of the girls and their lovers one more time (obviously in the epilogue). Pam will also make a small appearance (and, also, she'll make me cry). Otherwise, I'd advise you to prepare for one final, fluffy chapter ━ not to be confused with TM&HS's epilogue that actually had a Fluffy. Let me be punny.
> 
> Final update: Saturday (and, I'll warn you now, there may or may not be a sappy author's note at the bottom of the epilogue).
> 
> New story hint: I actually have a small, Ch. 1 sneak peek for ya'll to read today. See below.
> 
> ━ X X X ━
> 
> "Why aren't you gambling?" Emily voices her thoughts, not knowing why the girl is sitting with her when she used to be the life of the party.
> 
> Alison seems stunned by the random question, but she recovers and looks back towards the girls who stand around a machine while Hanna plays some slots, "I don't bet on things unless I know I'll win."
> 
> There's the old Alison, Emily internally rolls her eyes; cryptic replies were always her specialty. When a tinge of hurt stabs at the brunette's chest due to thinking about their old relationship, Emily licks her lips and faces the girls just the same, purposely facing away from Alison.
> 
> "I thought Alison DiLaurentis always wins."
> 
> It comes out colder than she intended but, once the words pass her lips, she doesn't backtrack or attempt to apologize. Alison, upon hearing the girl's tone, looks at the brunette with an extreme frown, afterwards turning away and taking in a deep breath.
> 
> "Emily," she glances at the brunette again, eyes narrowed in slight confusion, "did I… do something to upset you? I mean, I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but…" her voice trails off with a quiet laugh, not knowing how to continue.
> 
> "No, not at all," Emily stares ahead.
> 
> "Really, what's wrong?"
> 
> "Nothing's wrong."
> 
> "You're lying to me."
> 
> "I'm really not."
> 
> "I know when you're lying," her facial expressions make her seem amused by the entire thing.
> 
> "I'm not the same person that you knew before, Alison," the brunette sounds insulted, finally looking at the girl who raises her eyebrows with a face that says "clearly."
> 
> "Neither am I," she says after a moment of thinking and Emily nearly snorts at the statement.
> 
> "Mm," her hum is flat and the blonde rolls her eyes.
> 
> "Fine, when you want to stop being a little baby, let me know," Alison grabs her purse and flashes a bitter smile at the girl who remains sitting, walking away fiercely.
> 
> ━ X X X ━
> 
> What do you think? It's definitely not an angsty story, but my writing isn't, well, my writing if I don't add a little inevitable drama. Emison drama is always fun… as long as they end up together. The only reason why I couldn't give you a snippet from a lighter/funnier part of the story is because it'd likely give the plot away and I'm not about that #spoilerlife. If it entices you any further, I've written break-in's, car-keying, slapping, and a LOT of good one-timers for Mona's dialogue:  
> ["There's always more, even if no one has the balls to admit it.”  
> "Do you have the balls?" Mona speaks absentmindedly.  
> Hanna almost spits out her drink, choking slightly before clearing her throat, "That's not funny."]
> 
> In this story's final, bottom author's note, I'll be giving you an estimated publishing date for the new multi-chapter so you can look out for that. For "warning" purposes, I may post a one-shot on "What If (This Happened)?" in case you're following that collection, but otherwise just follow my page and it should alert you ━ unless you're completely sick of me and then oh well.
> 
> The next time I see you, it'll be for the epilogue. Until then, *tips hat*, have a nice day and so forth.  
> P.S. ━ 71 days until PLL comes back.


	21. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are: the wrap-up.
> 
> I'd much rather not see this story end but, as a friend told me, "All good things must come to an end." I only partially believe it, but the sentiment was comforting.
> 
> On an unrelated note, I recently found out that I'm getting a little nephew. And my dog is still improving, for those of you who are wondering. This concludes the random "about me" section.
> 
> Enjoy this epilogue and prepare for a super-fucking-long ending author's note.

DECEMBER 31st, 2016 ━ 11:50 P.M.:

“Does everyone have a glass?” Hanna looks over the small crowd of couples, making sure each person has their own champagne flute in hand.

A round of varying _ yes _ ’s,  _ yup _ ’s, and _ mhm _ ’s flows through the four couples who stand around in the main part of Alison and Emily’s wedding-night suite.

When the two arrived ( _ separately _ ) for their big day, they were individually surprised by Spencer, Hanna, and Aria who had pitched in to rent out a nice, one night stay in the castle-like hotel’s extravagant suite. Obviously, the other girls rented out their own, “normal” rooms with their respective lovers, just so they could fully enjoy the night and, for most, the complimentary breakfast.

Everything went perfectly ━ which may be surprising in the grand scheme of things ━ despite how the actual wedding  _ planning  _ went. First, Emily and Alison (but mostly Alison) were set on a larger, flashier wedding but, after another month of discussing with Hanna went by, the couple changed their mind, which the blonde wedding planner wasn’t the happiest about since they had switched around quite a few things already.

_ “Babe, let me call you back in a bit. Love you,” Hanna ends her phone call with Caleb as she sees Alison walking into her office, wearing a cautious grin.  _

_ She arches an eyebrow at the other blonde, more so because the girl looks like a kid who’s gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Alison matches the expression, beginning to fully smile at Hanna who narrows her eyes. _

_ “Do we have an appointment that I forgot about?” Hanna’s eyes widen suddenly, looking through the papers on her desk when she can’t find her schedule.  _

_ She grunts and Alison chuckles at the frantic nature of the girl who goes bug-eyed at the clutter on her desk. _

_ “Calm down. We don’t have an appointment,” Alison interrupts while laughing at Hanna who sighs in relief. _

_ “Okay,” she nods, “then why are you here? No offense.” _

_ “Well,” Alison drawls, “I was thinking…” _

_ “Oh God. Tell me you’re not about to throw my planning for a loop, Alison, because I swear━” _

_ “It’s not a big change,” Alison breathes out with another laugh and Hanna groans louder. _

_ “What is it?” _

_ “We just… we want a smaller wedding. I don’t know. We’ve been talking and we’ve decided that we don’t care about the details. We just want the commitment, honestly.” _

_ “That’s sweet,” Hanna gushes before she scolds the other girl, “but why didn’t you mention this sooner? Like months sooner?” _

_ “Calm down,” Alison stresses. “I haven’t even gotten my dress yet and━” _

_ “You what?!” _

_ “I haven’t had time!” _

_ “That’s like… the first thing you’re supposed to do!” _

_ “It doesn’t need to be fancy, anyway. It’s just gonna get…” she trails off and Hanna whines at the image, putting her face in her hands as she sits behind the desk. _

_ When Hanna’s hands leave her face, Alison continues to stare at the girl who doesn’t say a word. Instead, the other blonde breathes out, looks around her desk, and pushes her chair away from the large piece of furniture before grabbing her purse. Alison watches her with furrowed eyebrows, her eyes following the blonde who passes her as she walks over to the door. _

_ “Are you coming?” Hanna chokes out when the other girl just stares at her. _

_ “Where?” Alison’s eyes widen because she hadn’t said a word as she walked over to the office door.  _

_ “Dress shopping.” _

_ “I don’t know, Han, I━” _

_ “Fuck it,” Hanna grunts and pulls the other girl forward. “When I asked if you’re coming, I really meant that you’re coming because this needs to get done.” _

Hanna found Alison the most perfect dress after an entire day of searching ━ which isn’t that bad, as per Hanna’s word. The gown was simple yet extremely elegant, showing off her curves with slight cut-outs every now and then ━ and it’s safe to say that Emily  _ really  _ liked it, judging by the way her eyes widened once the girl began walking down the aisle, arm looped with Mrs. Fields’. Emily couldn’t help but get teary-eyed at the sight of her mother walking her soon-to-be wife down the aisle, especially because of the blonde’s past with her own parents. At first, Alison worried because she didn’t want Emily to  _ not  _ have someone when walking down the aisle before she did but, when they presented the problem to Hanna (not that the brunette exactly viewed it as a problem), she spoke to Spencer who happily volunteered herself. In the end, Spencer walked Emily down the aisle as the two softly laughed at something Toby mumbled in a side bench and Aria waited at the “altar” so she could officiate the wedding.

_ “Why didn’t you mention that you have a license to officiate?!” Hanna goes wide-eyed at Aria who stares back at her with the same expression, however more so in a defensive manner. _

_ “I figured you were all set with that part,” Aria throws back. _

_ “Are you kidding me? Alison didn’t even have a dress until a week ago,” the blonde rubs her temple. _

_ “Really?” Aria arches an eyebrow at Alison who sits in a nearby chair. _

_ “I didn’t have━” _

_ “Apparently she didn’t have time but I think that’s a load of━” Hanna starts with an impatient tone but she’s cut off by the other blonde. _

_ “I’m right here!” _

_ Emily looks between the three with sprinting eyes, sitting with parted lips as everyone tosses comments back and forth. Truly, she wishes that Spencer could have came to this meeting but the girl has been working night shifts at the jail lately and their phone call schedule has been severely off due to the hours.  _

_ “So, will you do it?” Hanna questions Aria who snaps back into the conversation at hand. _

_ “Of course I’ll do it,” she smiles big. “I’d love to.” _

_ “Thank God something’s settled,” Hanna groans as she rubs both her temples. _

_ “So, Emily,” Aria directs at the brunette who sits next to Alison, “do you know what you’re wearing?” _

_ “No, I━” _

_ “Are you fucking kidding me?!” comes Hanna’s next squeak, offering her such wide eyes that everyone’s afraid she’s going to combust sometime soon. _

A day later, Hanna dragged Emily into a few stores near her office building, practically forcing the brunette into multiple changing rooms so she could try on a few different pant suits. Initially, the blonde wedding planner tilted her head and wondered aloud  _ “Would you be more comfortable in a dress?”  _ to which Emily’s lips parted and she shrugged. Her shrug turned into a solid head-shake not even ten minutes later, feeling too weird since she hasn’t exactly worn a dress in quite some time. She found a nice outfit within the next few hours ━ one which Hanna, Emily,  _ and  _ Alison came to love, especially since the blonde’s smile grew once they said their _ I do _ ’s followed by a whispered  _ “You look amazing” ━  _ albeit they were both teary-eyed messes, along with Hanna, Spencer, and even Aria who tried to control her tears because she was attempting to read a few super sappy letters. 

Once the actual ceremony was over, the “guests” made their way into a nearby, rented room to celebrate, eventually joined by Emily and Alison. There weren’t a lot of guests ━ in fact, there was a total of three “outsiders,” overall ━ so it was easy for them to go around and say their  _ thank you _ ’s ━ more specifically, it was the four couples, Emily’s mom, and a few of the brunette’s coworkers who only stayed afterwards for a quick  _ “Congratulations.”  _ Nevertheless, it went perfectly, except (in Alison’s mind) when a large chunk of cake was smushed all over her face, neck, and chest while Hanna nearly fell to the floor in hysterics ━ until some frosting was flung her way.

Of course, at one point in time, the couple had their first dance as the others watched on, followed by Emily dancing with her mother to some sappy, childhood song while Alison smiled from where she sat nearby, simultaneously trying not to cry again since she’s been feeling super emotional all day.

_ “Your father would be so proud, Emily,” her mother whispers in her ear, smiling. _

_ “Are you trying to make me cry in front of everyone?” Emily covers up a small sob with a laugh, making sure not to cry too hard because she thought the tears were finally over for the night. _

_ “I just want you to know that he would be so proud of both of you. I’m sure he is.” _

_ “I know,” she swallows hard, holding onto her mother tighter while they dance to whatever song has been playing for a few minutes.  _

_ They continue to sway for the song, laughing softly when Emily tries to lighten the mood by twirling her mother who chuckles when the gesture comes out of nowhere. Suddenly, they’re stopped by Alison who smiles at the two.  _

_ “Care if I cut in?” she asks. _

_ When Emily goes to grab Alison’s hand, the blonde arches an eyebrow, afterwards turning to Mrs. Fields with a soft smile. _

_ “May I have this dance?” she speaks with an exaggerated tone. _

_ “Of course,” comes her mimicked response, smiling at Emily who playfully rolls her eyes and walks back to the table as the two dance away in the middle of the dance floor. _

_ They laugh as they sway, much like Pam and Emily before Alison had cut in, except their dance seems much more fun with an admirable tone. _

_ “Thank you for everything, Alison,” the older woman speaks.  _

_ “What do you mean?”  _

_ “You’ve loved and cared for Emily through all these years, and I am so grateful.”  _

_ “Well, she’s an easy person to love,” Alison smiles, though her eyes water hard. _

_ “I think it’s only easy to love someone who loves you just as much,” Mrs. Fields matches the smile. “I couldn’t have asked for a better person to marry Emily.” _

_ “That means a lot.” _

_ “I know it does,” they both smile. “You’re very deserving of happiness, Alison. Never forget that.” _

Once the slow songs ended, more upbeat tunes flowed through some nearby speakers and the five girls danced together for an hour or so, occasionally being joined by Mrs. Fields who was tugged onto the dance floor by Hanna. Additionally, the girls pulled their respective lovers into the huddle while they groaned and/or laughed when they weren’t allowed to leave the space. In the meantime, Hanna teased Spencer and Toby regarding their future wedding, once again offering her services. Toby, at the time, shrugged and smiled sheepishly at Spencer who didn’t exactly know what to say or do, and Hanna flashed her a devilish grin because she knew that Toby wouldn’t mind her being their planner. Before the blonde could capitalize, however, she was pulled away by Aria who yanked her into a dance with Ezra and Caleb so they could form some sort of ridiculous group. 

Things started to really die down after 10:30 P.M., which is when Emily’s mom decided to head home no matter how many times the young couple asked if she’d like to stay at the hotel and/or enjoy New Year’s with the rest of them. Eventually, the younger brunette relented and gave her mom a big hug once she shook her head a few more times, followed by Alison who muttered  _ “Drive safely”  _ before letting go and departing with another goodbye. Once she left, Emily and Alison sauntered over to the others who sat around while laughing at whatever they were talking about, and the two asked them to come to their suite for a New Year’s Eve party. They accepted, obviously, and everyone made their way up to the large, fancy suite made up of one bedroom, an en-suite bathroom, and an expansive living room with a flat screen TV tucked into a “bookcase.” 

_ “Jeez, maybe I’ll keep the room for Caleb and I,” Hanna pushes through the room’s front door, key in hand before Alison walks past her while grabbing the piece of metal attached to a brown tag. _

_ “No take-backs,” the other blonde smirks as she walks into the bedroom, looking at everything.  _

_ “By the way, your stuff was brought up here,” Spencer follows everyone into the suite. _

_ “I can see that,” Emily’s eyes widen at the amount of hair product sitting in front of their king size bed on a wooden chest.  _

_ “This TV is bigger than I am,” Aria looks at the flat screen in front of her, lips parted as Ezra nods in agreement. _

_ “Most furniture pieces are,” Spencer throws back. _

“Earth to Alison,” Hanna carefully waves her glass of champagne in front of the other blonde’s face, making sure not to spill anything although it would likely break Alison out of her trance faster.

“Sorry,” she shakes her head. “Just reminiscing.”

“You’ll have plenty of time to do that  _ after  _ it becomes the new year.”

Emily chuckles at Hanna’s obvious tone, making her way over to Alison so they can stand next to one another to watch the New Year’s ball drop on TV. The other couples follow suit, standing close together as everyone waits for the clock to go from 11:59 to 12:00. Everyone counts down in the meantime, especially Hanna who counts obnoxiously loud as Spencer and Aria shoot her a pair of glares and judgemental smirks. Once the countdown hits “twelve seconds,” Emily and Alison look at one another with soft smiles, followed by the blonde intertwining their fingers as they continue the count.

Eventually, the eight of them shout out their versions of “Happy New Year,” followed by Alison kissing Emily hard, smiling into the kiss while, seemingly, the other couples do the same, judging by the way Hanna doesn’t make any gagging noises. They break apart a second later, especially when everyone gets ready to toast to 2017.

“Alright, alright,” Hanna gathers them in a circle, “here’s to a  _ wonderful  _ new year, an ever-lasting friendship… and I mean it this time because none of you are escaping me now that we’re back together,” everyone chuckles, “ _ and _ , Emily and Alison, here’s to a memorable beginning of married life.”

The two newlyweds smile at the sentiment, followed by everyone clinking their glasses together before they sip on their champagne with an assortment of enjoyment or displeasure. Afterwards, glass by glass is placed back onto a nearby serving tray while conversations flow throughout the spacious suite. Emily and Alison are practically attached by the hip, and, whenever one of them leaves the room, the other follows. Their friends watch them with love and admiration, especially when Emily playfully mocks Alison who glares at her with a “wow, I’m going to have to kill you later” kind of smile. Hanna, especially, watches the two as her rosy cheeks turn upwards whenever she smiles and she’s hugged both girls a number of times throughout the night. Even Caleb, Ezra, and Toby all held their own side conversations with both Emily and Alison throughout the night, congratulating them and/or discussing things that had happened within the past several months when the group finally got together for a few quadruple dates.

Another thirty minutes pass before things really quiet down in the newlywed suite and everyone seems much more tired than they were a few hours prior. Aria cuddles up to Ezra on one of the living room couches, Toby and Spencer stand and talk with Caleb and Hanna, and Alison sits in Emily’s lap on another couch, mindlessly watching the ending performances for the New Year’s celebration on the flatscreen.

“Okay,” Hanna breathes out as she walks over to Emily and Alison, “we’re gonna get going. I know you two probably want to…” her voice trails off once the other blonde’s eyebrow raises in warning.

She recovers, “Watch a movie and cuddle.”

“ _ That’s _ the best you could come up with?” Aria stands up and smirks at Hanna who goes wide-eyed.

“What did you expect me to say? ‘We’re leaving so you can play Twister’?”

Aria just tilts her head before nodding in agreement while Spencer approaches so they can all exchange hugs. Hanna goes first, exaggeratedly hugging both Emily and Alison who grunt at the harsh embrace while the overbearing blonde squeaks out “All of my hard work finally paid off.”

Next, Aria offers the two a much gentler gesture, hugging them softly and offering a round of “Congratulations, you guys” as they thank her with beaming smiles. Spencer is last, mumbling “I’m proud of you two” as she hugs them, followed by all three boys who offer their own variations of congratulations.

They file through the front door, being followed by Alison and Emily who grin at their guests, and Hanna makes sure she’s last so she can throw the other blonde a wink and a clicking noise, smirking hard once Alison’s blue eyes widen at the underlying message. Emily snorts while Alison silently scolds the girl who laughs hard, followed by her arm getting tugged on by Caleb who is already further into the hallway.

“I’ll see you at breakfast!” Hanna throws her voice over her shoulder so it reaches the two standing in the doorway of their suite.

Again, Emily chuckles at one of their best friends, eventually walking back into the suite with Alison who closes and locks the door. Initially, the brunette expects the other girl to practically drag her into the bedroom because it’s not like she hasn’t hinted at her sexual intentions throughout the night ━ not to mention the fact that she got pretty handsy when they somehow simultaneously ended up in the bedroom to look through some bags ━ but, when Alison lets out a loud, irritated groan somewhere behind her, she turns around to see the blonde undoing her shoes. Emily chuckles at the sight, running a hand through her hair as she watches Alison struggle. Finally, the girl gets one undone and literally kicks it across the room, thankfully not flying through one of the living room’s few windows.

“You know,” Emily laughs, “you didn’t have to wear them the entire time. No one would’ve questioned it if you took them off during the reception or once we got up here.”

She undoes the other, massaging her foot slightly, “Em, I paid a lot of money for these. I would’ve kept them on even if I broke both ankles walking down the aisle.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“It’s not my fault that it costs so much to get married,” the blonde walks into the bedroom and looks in the full-length mirror as she fixes the top of her white dress, all while Emily watches from the doorway.

She continues, “Honestly, this dress probably cost more than the entire service did.”

The brunette’s eyes widen before she blinks hard at the entire reality.

Alison turns around, hair falling loose against her face. She walks over to Emily and stands at arm’s length away, hands on her hips. 

“By the way, we’re not even ten hours into marriage yet, and you’re  _ already  _ questioning everything I do,” she raises an eyebrow.

“What can I say? You’re an easy target,” Emily smirks. 

Alison narrows her eyes and walks away, surprising Emily who, really, thought that the girl would attack her in the  _ best  _ of ways. The brunette stands there, still waiting, as she watches Alison walk over to her purse and pull out her cell phone. The blonde girl types away at the screen and Emily furrows her eyebrows.

“What are you doing?” 

“Trying to find out if it costs anything to get a divorce within the first twenty-four hours of marriage,” she keeps a straight face, typing away furiously before her phone is snatched away by Emily who laughs.

“That’s not funny,” she says even though she’s still laughing.

“What if I’m serious?” 

“You’re not.”

“How do you know?”

“I can see it in your eyes.”

Alison’s lips part before they curve into a small smirk and she takes a step forward so they’re practically nose to nose.

“What do you see, exactly?”

Emily’s confidence begins to fade as the other girl’s nose brushes against her own. Alison maintains eye contact even though they’re so close that Emily can feel the light tickle of the blonde’s breath against her lips. Those blue eyes flicker down to the other girl’s lips for a split second, eventually regaining a lustful ━ and  _ loveable  _ ━ stare-down with the brunette. 

Emily, finally, manages to get out a whispered “I can see how much you love me,” earning a soft laugh from Alison who nods at the statement with a quiet “And it’ll always be there.”

The brunette mimics the nod, smiling hard because she fully trusts Alison’s words, and she leans in to kiss the girl who drapes her forearms over Emily’s shoulders. Their long, warm kiss trails off into many, tiny pecks, cut off by smiling mouths each time ━ and, occasionally, a content groan.

“Was it everything you had envisioned?” Emily stares at Alison.

“Yes, actually. I honestly thought something would go wrong given our history with, well, things going wrong,” her eyes widen, “but I’m more than happy with how things turned out. It was perfect.”

“I agree,” she smiles, “and, hey, you don’t have to propose anymore.”

Alison rolls her eyes and backs up from the other girl with a stern finger-point, “That’s not funny, Em,” she chuckles, “but thank God.”

She walks away, facing the full-length mirror again as she undoes various pins in her hair, tossing them onto a nearby table. Emily sits on the edge of the bed, admiring the view as the blonde shakes her head in the mirror because she can tell that she’s being stared at. Alison smiles softly, however, because she can see the brunette’s eyelids drooping as she rubs at her forehead, eventually taking a deep breath as she tries to focus on Alison who is now making sure all pins and clips are removed from her hair.

“Exhausted?” she raises a knowing eyebrow, slightly daring the other girl to deny it.

When Emily sees the smug grin on Alison’s face, her lips part as she’s about to deflect the question, but she looks away once the blonde’s eyes narrow in warning with a “don’t lie to me” expression.

“Are you?” the brunette counters, earning a playful eye-roll.

“Yes, I am, and I’m not afraid of admitting it.”

“Well aren’t you confident,” she teases.

“Do I have a reason not to be?” comes the rebuttal and the girl smirks once her arms reach behind her back as she undoes the two clasps just above her waist.

Emily doesn’t answer and, instead, locks eyes with Alison in the mirror as she tries her hardest not to stare at the girl’s body language. Alison, on the other hand, smiles at Emily because she knows what kind of inner struggle she’s probably dealing with and she clears her throat with a whispered “Can you please help me get this off?”

Of course, the brunette pushes herself off the bed and walks over to the other girl, shakily raising her hands to unzip the dress slowly and she barely breathes while doing so. Alison waits until her wife finishes and Emily backs up as her eyes struggle to remain off of the blonde’s newly exposed skin. Soon enough, the dress falls to the floor, immediately being snatched by Alison who slowly bends over to pick it up. Emily looks away, swallows hard, and blinks as much as she can while the other girl hangs up the dress with a solid head nod once it’s firmly in place. Still, the brunette stands there, and she’s eventually looking into Alison’s eyes as the girl stands not even an inch away, quickly leaning in for another kiss. 

“You should probably get comfortable, baby,” she whispers against Emily’s mouth.

The brunette manages to nod and hum with a tight-lipped smile, afterwards brushing past Alison who watches the girl rummage through some of their bags to find something to wear. Once she not-so-subtly checks Emily out, she goes back to her own bedtime routine, finding some underwear and a matching bra before she swiftly puts them on while the other girl changes somewhere behind her. Alison next wanders into the living room, shuts off the lights, and smiles at a gift that the other girls had gotten them so it’d be sitting in the suite before they got inside: a photo album made up of aesthetic wedding photos, pictures of Emily and Alison, and photos of all five of them, some old and some new. On the front, a golden, scripted title ━  _ “January of 2017” _ ━ is engraved within the stretched leather, followed by the phrase  _ “The start of an endless amount of memories”  _ and their last name within a decorative border:  _ “Fields.”  _ Again, Alison smiles at the book, dragging her finger along the lettering before breaking herself out of her trance so she can walk back into the bedroom.

Her feet bring her along the soft carpet and she glances at Emily who entered the attached bathroom at some point so she could brush her teeth. Alison constantly admires the sight, even if it’s something so simple, and she can’t stop herself from blushing. She follows suit, entering the bathroom and hip-checking Emily out of the way so she can brush her teeth with the entire mirror, and the brunette grunts as she finishes up.

“Yes, Ali, of course I was finished,” sarcasm is thrown the blonde’s way.

“I didn’t ask, though,” Alison smirks when the other girl huffs and walks out, eventually finishing up so she can follow Emily who shuts off the bedroom lights.

Once the entire suite is engulfed in darkness aside from a few appliance lights and “nightlights,” the two get into bed with Emily wearing one of her normal pajama outfits (shorts and a tank top), whereas Alison wears a bra and underwear since the heat is practically burning a hole through the floor. Nevertheless, they both shimmy under the covers and Alison immediately crawls on top of the girl who grunts when it’s unexpected. 

“I love you,” the casual admission falls from Alison’s lips, briefly pressing a kiss to the other girl’s mouth afterwards.

“I love you too.”

“Do you?”

“Well I  _ just  _ married you not too long ago, so I’d say yes.”

“Some people get married based on other things,” Alison shrugs. “Maybe you married me for money.”

“If you want to get technical, Alison, I’m making more━”

“Don’t you dare finish that thought.”

The brunette smirks, “My lips are sealed.”

“You wish.”

“Do I?”

“Mhm,” she leans down and kisses the girl’s lips again, waiting a second before tugging on her lower lip as she earns a sharp inhale.

Emily’s eyes flutter open once she feels like she’s being stared at and she focuses on Alison who looks at her with pure love. She smiles, though her heart beats faster than usual because of the not-so-lustful tension flowing between their bodies and, honestly, her eyes want to start watering but she refuses to cry over something so “minimal.” What she doesn’t know, however, is that the girl hovering above her struggles with the same “you better not cry again” attitude and she has to silence the thoughts by leaning down to kiss Emily ━ harder than before. She unintentionally lets out a breathy moan while they kiss and, soon, she feels the other girl’s mouth curve into a soft smile but ignores it. The feeling of fingertips dragging up and down her back makes her moan again and she deepens the kiss by brushing her tongue against Emily’s. In response, the brunette’s hands wander more, ending up just past her wife’s waistband as they partially dip below the fabric. After, her nails drag upwards and Alison has to stop kissing Emily for a split second so she can try to control her breathing. Her lip is caught between the brunette’s teeth not even a breath later and a louder moan erupts from her throat before she’s suddenly flipped onto her back.

“I thought you were exhausted,” she tries to tease Emily who leans down and kisses her again, but her voice comes out strangled and the brunette smiles in response.

“Yeah… but you’re more important,” her lips are on Alison’s right as the final word flows from her mouth and the blonde shakes her head slightly with a negative humming noise.

“No, Em, if you’re tired then I’m not going to keep you up,” Alison tries to keep her lips sealed so the other girl can’t kiss her again.

“Since when has that stopped you?” she raises an eyebrow.

The blonde’s eyes look away while Emily breathes out a laugh.

“Ali, it’s our wedding night,” comes the explanation. “This is a special night, if not  _ the  _ most special night, and I’m going to do it correctly by making sure you know how loved you are.”

Alison bites her own bottom lip, not knowing how to respond because the brunette is correct, and she’d be lying if she said that she doesn’t want to be super cliché and end the night by making love in a cheesy wedding suite, but━

Her thoughts are disrupted by the brunette pulling her own tank top off, tossing it somewhere nearby. Alison’s eyes widen when she’s taken completely off-guard, stunned by Emily’s sudden boldness since she rarely flat-out acts seductive through actions, but her lips curve into a smirk when the brunette raises a questioning eyebrow. She nods within the next second, smiling big at Emily who mimics the nod and leans down again, connecting their lips and making sure to pour as much love into the kiss as she possibly can. Alison, in the same manner, makes it her mission to love the other girl correctly, for every day from now until forever. That’s the way it’s been, and that’s the way it’ll stay.

Alison backs up, earning a confused look from Emily who tilts her head.

“I just really,  _ really  _ love you, Em,” she smiles. “God, I’m so in love with you.”

“I know,” the other girl nods, “and I love you just as much.”

When the blonde seems to not know what to say, Emily smiles again, swallowing hard.

“I meant it when I used the word ‘forever’ in my vows, Ali. I’ll always be yours and you’ll always be mine.”

Alison forces a smile, more so because she can’t believe that their relationship is so  _ genuine _ , and she nods.

“Good.”

When they continue to hold an unspoken conversation for moments longer, their eyes flicker between each other’s gaze and lips, and again Alison nods her head to some unverbalized question. She leans up, catches the other girl’s bottom lip, and releases it, just to back up and flash Emily a shy expression when she sees the fresh, lustful look in the brunette’s brown eyes. She lies against the mattress, waiting for Emily to make a move and, eventually, she does. The tanned girl moves to Alison’s jawline immediately, planting open-mouthed kisses along the area accompanied by small nips at the skin. The blonde gasps at the sensation, more so because the girl above her seems much more determined than she usually is (aside from when they  _ really  _ get into it), and her nails scratch at Emily’s back, causing warm breath to hit her skin repeatedly as she gains a thin layer of sweat almost instantly.

Emily’s mouth moves along the girl’s jaw, underneath her chin, and down her chest, only to regain their face-to-face position from minutes prior. Again, she looks into Alison’s blue eyes, grinning at the girl who already seems so love drunk, and their lips press together in a much more sensual manner ━ which, overall, is the remaining hours’ feeling. 

Ultimately, as they mentally reflect on everything that’s happened up until this point, neither girl would change a thing about how they’ve ended up together ━ no matter how they came about, what they went through, or what they’ll go through in the future. In the end, they’ll work through anything and that’s what matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Rubs hands together* That settles that.
> 
> I think writing the wedding planning was my favorite, mostly because I don't think Hanna and Alison would match well in that type of situation given their personalities within this story. My next favorite part was Mrs. Fields dancing with Emily and, after, her dancing with Alison. I wanted to include her one way or another, so writing her as a calm/emotional aspect that polarized the heightened happiness of the day was important to me.
> 
> I hope I did their wedding night (and wedding, overall) justice ━ well, in terms of using the "January of 2011" character traits; wedding-night fluff is always a good time, in my opinion.
> 
> So, for now, this story has come to an end ━ unfortunately. When I say "for now," I mean that I have no idea what the future brings and, who knows, maybe I'll end up writing the sequel I have outlined. Like I said before, it's sitting in my folder just in case. As of now, however, I'm working on the remaining five chapters of my new multi-chapter (I've already written 1-17; 124K words), and I'm going to give you a few hints (and the estimated posting date) below. If you don't want to read further because you don't want any hints (which is totally valid), I want to thank you for staying with me through "January of 2011." This type of angst was different as opposed to how I normally write stories, so I hope I held up a good, "terrible" feeling throughout, in addition to patching everything up afterwards. Thank you for your support. Both "January of 2011" and "Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories" will forever be my babies, so I'm glad that most of you enjoyed one or the other (or even both). 
> 
> New story estimated posting date: March 12th.  
> Three words to sum up the story: Spontaneous, different, gamble.  
> Three symbols within the story: Red lipstick, comic books, "Cosmo" drinks.  
> Three songs to sum up the story's vibe: "Into You" by Ariana Grande, "The Night Is Still Young" by Nicki Minaj, "OctaHate" by Ryn Weaver.  
> New story's title: "Place Your Bet"
> 
> I want to thank everyone who's supported "January of 2011". No matter when you began reading it. Honestly, I even thank those who start reading the story months from now. Support and feedback mean everything to me. I know I say this a lot, but I promise that it's what keeps me going. Writing (eventually for my own created fandom) is what I hope to do with the rest of my life because it makes me feel empowered above anything I've ever set my mind to, and I encourage anyone and everyone to find something that makes them feel the same. It's important and pretty damn comforting to know that you succeed at a talent and/or goal. I promise.
> 
> Thank you again, and have a nice day.
> 
> *Insert fancy signature here*

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Questions? Hate? Love? What did you think? Let me know, please, either on here through PMs, reviews, etc., or send me messages on Tumblr (“capn-charlie”). 
> 
> Like I said before, remember this first chapter because it’ll be brought up time and time again, even as we get towards the end of the entire story. Everything, really. Alison’s point of view (when she gets Emily out of the barn) will be brought up, and it’ll be somewhat important at one point.
> 
> Now I know that Emily probably would take a bit longer to decide (maybe, who knows), but, for time purposes, this entire fic might seem a bit condensed. I’m not the happiest when it comes to having events pushed so close together, but it has to be done. You may or may not notice, but I made them as seamless as I could. Either way, our lovelies are together again, and they have a rough journey ahead.
> 
> I want to point out that I’ve added canon dialogue pieces into the story, so that’s something I find to be pretty nice, even if they’re sometimes not the happiest.
> 
> Next update is on Friday, then on Sunday. After that, I’ll let you know my official uploading schedule for the rest of the chapters; the posting dates are going to be pretty scattered (but always within a week-long span), so I might just tell you chapter by chapter. We’ll see. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and I hope I met and/or meet your expectations.


End file.
